Genshin Impact is the only adventure
game that actively encourages you to beat up a child each week!
Spend hundreds of hours hunting in-game treasure and spending
real-world currency to collect sexy anime characters with ~impractically~ ~asymmetrical~ ~outfits~ ;) ooh!~ Each with their own distinct personality that
makes the Genshin well worth the Gamblin'. There's the overworked one, the overworked one, the overworked one... Hey, wait a minute! >:( You play one of two twins! Doesn't matter which you pick, because the cutscenes and dialogue will
misgender you no matter who you choose! The two of you are separated when a
Primogem-shaped god kicks you in the dick, which is an accurate portrayal of the game's gatcha system. Now it's up to you to find your lost brother! Now it's up to you to find your lost [sister]! You are joined on your adventure by Pie'd Mon, a sentient Baconator who happens to have the exact
same design motif as that god that just beat you up BUT THERE'S NO REASON TO READ INTO THAT! Instead, Pie'd Mon suggests the two of
you walk around the entire planet! This is a rational suggestion, insomuch as it was suggested by your rations. Travel across the nations of Teyvat! From Bisexual Japan to Libertarian Germany To the rolling hills of Zhongli's butt. Work your own butt off so people will FINALLY
agree to help you locate your missing twin. DILUC:
Ohh, you saved our WHOLE COUNTRY?
Here, we'll put up a poster :3 DILUC:
THERE. DILUC:
THAT'LL FIND 'EM. TRAVELER:
Gee... thanks. DILUC:
Oh, no, don't worry. This poster's interact
box is the size of a BOSS ARENA. DILUC:
Passers-by literally can't help but read it instead of
talking to nearby NPCs or going through doors. DILUC:
...whoops. Use all 7 elements to rapidly swap between characters to
crush your enemies under an avalanche of numbers! ...or don't! Because the game has decided you CAN'T switch
characters right now because you're TOO SHORT, so now you have to die. Roll for characters! Roll for weapons! Roll for artifacts! Roll for SUB-STATS on said artifacts! TRAVELER:
ooOOH, this one looks good! TRAVELER:
C'mon, c'mon, c'mon!! TRAVELER:
No... TRAVELER:
No...! TRAVELER:
No, no, NOOOOO! PAIMON:
Haiiii~ ;3 PAIMON:
It looks like you're having trouble with your ROLLS there! PAIMON:
Y'know... you could always... PAIMON:
SPEND MONEY~ PAIMON:
C'mon! Just a little money! :3 PAIMON:
Just ooone money! PAIMON:
Just thiiiiirty money PAIMON:
for a swimsuit for this cardboard cutout! PAIMON:
YOU could be the one to give these women PANTS! PAIMON:
Don't Amber's shorts look uncomfortable? PAIMON:
Aren't you TIRED of seeing Kamisato's DIAPER
from EVERY CONCEIVABLE ANGLE? (cheerful humming) PAIMON:
PAIMON IS IN A MENU RIGHT NOW! PAIMON:
Can you SHUT UP for like TWO SECONDS?! BARBARA:
I LITERALLY CAAAAN'T!!! BARBARA:
I WONDER WHEN I'M GONNA BE
AS TALL AS MY BIG SISTER T~T You know the voice acting is quality, because the
English actors are aged like a fine Osmanthus wine. Unable to reveal their role for months,
for literally no reason! Pour one out for Scaramouche. One day, you'll be able to put that meaty
Genshin credit on your resumé... Heh... On that note, if you're looking for someone to voice Il Dottore
when he finally shows up, my website is www.brendanblaber— Hang out with other players in co-op mode! And ONLY other players! Because when you have a friend with you, all the
NPCs in the world suddenly think that you smell! Enjoy looking at another player's world and barely interacting
with anything, like some sort of parasocial ghost! That is, if you can join your friends AT ALL, since the world level keeps new players
locked away in baby jail for weeks with characters they can't even upgrade
until they've beaten the game! Sometimes, it's wildly charming, and other times the localizer appears to be a
Sphinx with a thesaurus trying their worst. Nothing but proper nouns and prose so purple that
it would superconduct if you hit it with a snowball. Wow! These sidequests have a surprising
amount of dead parents in them. You know what they say: Sire a child, Die in the wild. Mayhaps this LORE will be a bit more cheerful! (papers shuffling) ...Oh! Oh, no! <:) ZHONGLI:
If there were two gods in Liyue, ZHONGLI:
and one of them killed the other with a rock, ZHONGLI:
would that be fucked up or what? SPHINX:
it's pronounced Lee-way! >:T Lee-waste your time with side content like fishing,
minigames, and the world's most cumbersome teaset as you prepare for future adventures
in the nations of Sumeru and... Nanalan. There's a great, big, wonderful world
out there for you to explore! And the only limit... is your imagination. PAIMON:
Why don't we explore the area ahead of us later? :D TRAVELER:
Paimon? Ehehe... P-Paimon... TRAVELER:
P-Paimon...? TRAVELER:
PAIMON?! PAIMON:
Long live the king. TRAVELER:
I am a GIRL!!! TRAVELER:
Ehh— AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! TWIN:
I should probably tell her I'm just streaming on Twitch, right? Hey, thank you guys so much for watching, uh, not just this video, but the whole
So This Is Basically series. And I wanna say that because this is the
last one that we have plans to make. Uh, we've gotten really busy with other stuff, I'm working on more video game videos like
the Dogs in Love and Miles is a Robot series, and, uh, more than anything I'm focusing on my voice acting
career and writing more stuff for Epithet: Erased. Uh, with all this other stuff we keep having to push
back So This Is Basically's, they take a lotta time, we started this one in September, which is really embarassing... Uh, so, I would really appreciate it, uh, if
anyone who likes any of the stuff I make, you check out some of my other stuff? uhm If you could, uh, maybe check out our Patreon? We've got a
BUNCH of stuff on there where you can support us, and uh, also, subscribe! Because I took a year off from, uh, physical injuries
I got while working on Epithet: Erased 14 hours a day for 7 months a couple years ago. And if you take a year off of YouTube,
you just don't get any more subscribers! It's been sittin' at that 1.8 mil mark for like... ...oh, man, like two years! so if you— I, I never ask to hit that bell and subscribe— but you know what? I think on this last
So This Is Basically, I've earned it, so. If you could hit that bell, and subscribe, and check out our other stuff! and I hope you like it just as much as
the So This Is Basically Series. Thank you all for watchin'. Ok bye! :) ♪ (the final plasterbrain outro riff) ♪
