♪ (music) ♪ VYSE:
WhoaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAA— VYSE:
I'm Vyse of the Blue Rogues. And in a few minutes,
I'll be relieving you of all your valuables! AIKA:
Oh, hi! I'm Aika. I'm a Blue Rogue
like Vyse... and we're robbing you. FINA:
My name... uh, my name is Fina? AIKA:
I don't like that name. You're Antonio! JELLO:
Ah. WILL:
OH, I can actually tell you that! VYSE:
Fina, huh? It's a great name! It's so... so feminine! (error noises) VYSE:
Geez, you try and compliment someone,
and nothing! No reaction whatsoever! AIKA:
Wow! You are f*cking garbage at this! ^_^ VYSE:
Hey, Fina. How you feeling? VYSE:
How you Fin-ing? That didn't work. Forget I said that. FINA:
OKay, I've had enough. (Jumps) VYSE:
NO— JELLO:
Vyse is one of those feminists that hype women
up so much, it's a little uncomfortable. VYSE:
I prefer women! Women are awesome! VYSE:
I love women so much! I wish *I* was a woman. JELLO:
Egg Vyse. WILL:
Peter the Deck-Swabber! Health bar appears. ♪ (boss fight music) ♪ AIKA:
Vyse, are you thinking what I'm thinking? VYSE:
Yeah! I love WOMEN— VYSE:
We should try to recover the moon stone. AIKA:
Vyse! Over there! Look at the size of that hole! VYSE:
Oh, the shrine's a woman. VYSE:
Do you ever feel, like, really bad after
looking in the mirror sometimes? JELLO:
VYSE. AIKA:
You doin' okay? VYSE: Yeah! VYSE:
Yeah... AIKA:
Wait 'til everyone back home sees what we found! WILL:
♪ DA NA NAAAAAA... ♪ JELLO/WILL:
♪ DA NA NA NA NA! ♪ DYNE:
It's Galcian's flagship! GALCIAN:
I love men. GALCIAN:
I'm doing something different with
my beard where I dye it black. GALCIAN:
What do you think? GALCIAN:
And just remember: We are THOUSANDS of feet in the air. (LAUGHTER) VYSE:
I don't get it! How can you have "gal"
in your name and be evil?! GALCIAN:
Women die first! GALCIAN:
DUDES ROCK! JELLO:
You ever meet someone who's so gay
that they end up being a misogynist? GALCIAN:
What are your pronouns? There is
only one correct answer! GALCIAN:
What are your pronouns? And remember,
we are THOUSANDS of feet in the air. VYSE:
Mom left the stove on! VYSE:
She probably did it on purpose, considering she's a
woman and wouldn't make any mistakes ever! AIKA:
Vyse, women aren't faultless. VYSE:
I disagree. AIKA:
You would disagree with a woman? VYSE:
What would you know, Aika?! You're j—(GASP) VYSE:
AHH. OUGHH. UH! MARTHA:
They took all the men back to Valua! GALCIAN:
We've captured the men. GALCIAN:
The people of value. GALCIAN:
DUDES ROCK! VYSE:
Galcian's flagship... SAVVY:
*The Serpent?!* GALCIAN:
I named it after the penis we all share. WILL:
The penis we all share?! GALCIAN:
Except for some of us, which is totally fine! GALCIAN:
Which is totally—like, I get it. GALCIAN:
If you're a trans man? I get it. If I were
born female, I would do the same! (WHEEZING) GALCIAN:
Join the winning team! (LAUGHTER) JELLO:
Pro trans, JELLO:
HYPER sexist! ARIM:
He's an inverse TERF. JELLO:
YEAH! GALCIAN:
The existence of trans men proves
that we don't NEED women! OZ:
WHOOOO... WHOOOOO! 😰 GALCIAN:
You may leave. SOLDIER:
As you wish! SOLDIER/GALCIAN:
Dudes Rock! SOLDIER:
Bro-bye, sir! GALCIAN:
At last we meet, Fina. FINA:
How did you know my name? GALCIAN:
Men know everything. GALCIAN:
Haven't you ever asked a question on Twitter?! (LAUGHTER) GALCIAN:
I'm under direct orders from...
Her Royal Highness... GALCIAN:
Empress Theodora— GALCIAN:
You have inform—You have
inFORmation that is useful to us. FINA:
Actually, I think it's "information..." GALCIAN:
Ah-ah-ah-ah. A *man* is talking. OZ:
Kills you, kills you, kills you! DRACHMA:
Don't start with me. OZ:
WHOA! You're dead! AIKA:
Vyse! AIKA:
You just punched a woman! DRACHMA:
Oh, my g—I'm SO sorry. DRACHMA:
I'm SO sorry! VYSE:
You punched Aika?! I can't believe you! AIKA:
Wh—Vyse, we gotta talk this out! VYSE:
What's there to talk about, Aika? HA-HA-HA-HA! VYSE:
Most of my duties revolved around raiding, so
I hardly ever got to actually fly our old ship! VYSE:
Oh, wow! Is this crank-powered? ALL:
AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH— DOC:
That thing's called a "Moon Lens." With it, you can
see things you normally wouldn't be able to. DOC:
Here. Put the lens on and look where I'm pointing. ♪ (triumphant music) ♪ SAVVY:
I wish yelling the names of your
attacks was cooler in English. WILL:
Would you prefer to have attacks like "Drachma Balls?" SAVYY:
(snickering)
Shut up. DRACHMA:
I have no time to waste with you kids.
You two can resolve your own problems. DRACHMA:
This house is mine now.
(Throws someone out on the street) DRACHMA:
Drachma Balls! MERCHANT:
Hey there, big guy. How's the sailing going? VYSE:
Please don't call me that. I don't know
why, but it makes me so sad. GIRL:
Black Pirates are extremely evil outlaws
who steal gold and kidnap women. VYSE:
THEY WHAT?! POLLY:
I can spot cheats and liars,
and these children are neither. POLLY:
I can tell things about people, and
these two girls are on the level. (laughter) VYSE:
Ma'am, you're mistaken! VYSE:
I'm a male! DRACHMA:
Aika, have you... AIKA:
Yeah, I've tried. I don't know what to do. DRACHMA (in-game):
This should work! DRACHMA:
This should work! (BLOWS UP) AIKA:
You just defeated Baltor the Scary,
why don't you lighten up a little bit? WILL/JELLO:
That's a map. WILL/JELLO:
YEAHHH! RAMIREZ:
Lord Galcian. Your admirals have assembled. VIGORO:
You said that the citizen of the Silver Civilization
you found was a *woman?* VIGORO:
Now that's something worth getting excited for! GALCIAN:
Do not share your opinion. (sounds of insanity) GALCIAN:
Who is that? I don't know who that is. Get him out of here. DRACHMA:
I'm returning to the docks. DRACHMA (in-game):
(barks) WILL:
Did he bark? JELLO:
Dissing that dog as he kills it. DRACHMA:
I learned dog just so I could
yell at them before they died. EXECUTIONER:
You have deprived the audience from witnessing
the deaths of a notorious band of Air Pirates! VYSE:
I don't know why you're all upset. VYSE:
The audience already got to watch us free
your friends and trash your guards! VYSE:
And—OUR friends. They could be your friends too. :) VYSE:
Will you come with us as our final party member? EXECUTIONER:
Yes! I would like that so much! MARCO:
Wait, Vyse! VYSE:
I'm Vyse. MARCO:
I frew up :( FINA:
The power of the Gigas is not to be underestimated! GUARD:
Silence, Wench! You shall pay for your (bonk) insolence! GUARD:
I—is she breathing?! GUARD:
Oh, fuck. GALCIAN:
Why do you care? SOLDIER:
Sorry, sir! B-Bros Rule! GALCIAN:
DUDES ROCK! And you will remember that! JELLO:
The guard behind him bonks him on the head. GUARD 2:
Don't worry, sir. I've silenced that fool! GUARD 2:
Men are great! Wait, f*ck, what was it? JELLO:
The next guy bonks him— SOLDIER:
(incomprehensible, muffled speaking) GALCIAN:
What? GALCIAN:
Speak up— JELLO:
Now, what would make this train dungeon
way more fun, do you think? Place your bets. YAM:
A big dragon flies alongside the train! ARIM:
Oh, of course, Yam. JELLO:
I'm sorry, Yam, there are no
dragons anywhere in this game. WILL:
Yo, this game sucks. ARIM:
Leaves the call. YAM:
*What the fuck did you just say to me?* YAM:
Why are we here?! GALCIAN:
You have caused us a great deal of trouble, boy. GALCIAN:
What is your name? VYSE:
Do you wanna know Aika's name? GALCIAN:
I don't talk to objects. WILL:
WHOA-HO. DRACHMA:
All hands to battle stations! ARIM:
"Again." WILL:
Again... AIKA:
I've heard about these Gigas before. AIKA:
There's a giant, and a dragon— Yam:
!!! YAM:
YOU LIED TO ME! AIKA:
Now, the only problem left is Cap'n Dyne... AIKA:
I wonder if he'll let us go... DRACHMA:
I have nothing to say about any of this whatsoever. ARIM:
Love that they just keep sticking Drachma in the
background of these scenes to do and say nothing. AIKA:
Fina, you couldn't stop us from going, even if you tried. AIKA:
You're level one! AIKA:
I could throw my boomerang
at you once and behead you. AIKA:
I couldn't crack an egg with the
force it would take to break you! VYSE:
Did someone say "egg?" DRACHMA:
I'm too old for this. WILL:
Drachma has left the party. JELLO:
The main trio in this game, genuinely
throuple energy by the end of it. FINA:
Vyse is very attractive... I don't think it would be
strange at all if the dancer was looking at him. AIKA:
He didn't have to leave us here
in the desert, right, Vyse? AIKA:
...Vyse? VYSE:
I wish I looked like that. ARIM:
"Bellena?" ARIM:
Isn't that... one of the admirals? JELLO:
The admiral's name is Belleza. ARIM:
...Uh-huh. BELLEZA:
My name is Belle-he-ennnna. BELLENA:
I'll begin making preparations~ AIKA:
Oh, Bellena, what are you going to do? BELLENA:
Betray y—UHH, be waiting out here~ BELLENA:
Well, there is someone that I'm in love with, but...
he would never even give me a second look. JELLO:
Who is the funniest person
she could be in love with? ARIM:
DE LOCO! BELLENA:
Would it be all right if I took a look at it? VYSE:
Here you go, my good friend! WILL:
Are you KIDDING—no! Are you kidding me!? BELLENA:
I'm sure that Lord Galcian will be very pleased. ALL:
WHAAAAAAAA?!?!?! VYSE:
What are you talking about?! VYSE:
I've never been tricked in my life! BELLENA:
Allow me to remove my clothing,
revealing my outfit underneath! (SMACK) JELLO:
Did you just slap his ass? YAM:
Kabam! DRACHMA:
You've earned my respect! DRACHMA:
All hands to battle stations! VYSE:
Aye aye, Captain! ALL:
AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH— FINA:
There is a continent under
the green moon. BELLEZA:
That's the continent of Ixa'taka. BELLEZA:
Our soldiers are already there. VYSE:
I'm surprised Galcian lets you in his armada! BELLEZA:
Shh, he doesn't—he doesn't *know.* GALCIAN:
Your pecs are enormous. DRACHMA:
There's a strong crosswind that blows from the west.
Nobody has ever successfully sailed through it. VYSE:
But Belleza just said her soldiers were stationed— DRACHMA:
NOBODY. DRACHMA:
My knowledge of this place is limited. DRACHMA:
You're on your own, boy. JELLO:
Drachma has left the party. FINA:
If Aika was hungry enough, she'd
probably eat the monsters, too! AIKA:
EUGH? VILLAGER:
You are the same as the other men from the East. VILLAGER:
It is best if you leave soon. VYSE:
Who are the "Men from the East?" JELLO:
Vyse... JELLO:
Belleza JUST told us. VYSE:
Why does everyone keep talking
about the "Men from the East?" ELDER:
They claim they come from a place called Valua. AIKA:
Valua?! They're here, too? AIKA:
I DIDN'T KNOW THAT! AIKA:
Hey, what's that smell? FINA:
Smells like something is burning... DRACHMA:
I thought I'd make dinner for you kids. DRACHMA:
Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches! JELLO:
I just love this guy who's here— JELLO:
Oh, oops. That's not what I meant
to do. That's very funny. MERCHANT:
I also buy and sell Discovery information.
I got everything you need. JELLO:
Would you believe that directly beneath you
is an extremely visible, huge palace? MERCHANT:
WHOA! I'd never looked down before! MERCHANT:
Thanks, kid! MERCHANT:
What do you mean "look down?" ARIM:
Vyse, like, slowly angles his head down for him. MERCHANT:
My neck can do dat?! DE LOCO:
Someone just set off the alarm!
I wonder who it could be... DRACHMA:
(Muffled) Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches! DE LOCO:
Hmmmm... AIKA:
Oh, no. I am not going to wait here all by
myself with those... THINGS out there! DRACHMA:
I'm Drachma. FINA:
The Silvites must have inscribed
these words when they were here. VYSE:
Why would Silvites come here? VYSE:
Are *they* the Men from the East? FINA:
Vyse... Please... FINA:
Shut up. VYSE:
(Eating) Aye aye, Captain! Bring it on, De Loco! DRACHMA:
You eating right now? VYSE:
Om, nom, potato chip. DRACHMA:
Gimme. VYSE:
(Eating) Here you go. DRACHMA:
Thank you. That was very kind of you. VYSE:
Yeah, we're buds. DRACHMA:
Hell yeah, sister. VYSE:
Th-thank you. (LAUGHTER) YAM:
The first admission! (LAUGHTER) WILL:
"I'm done for!" JELLO:
"I am dying!" AIKA:
We should be extra careful, right, Cap'n? DRACHMA:
Hmm... AIKA:
Cap'n? What's wrong? DRACHMA:
Drachma Balls. VYSE:
Captain, hurry! Get in! DRACHMA:
O! JELLO:
Looks like I'm ditching you kids one last time! ARIM:
Oh, boy. CLARA:
Aika and Fina... You both have such pretty names! VYSE:
(So feminine!) CLARA:
I'm sure there's nothing to worry about!
Vyse is probably fine. CLARA:
You girls like him, right? CLARA:
You have to have faith in your man!
Or girl, as you tell me! WILL:
Yeah, guys, this game is old! JELLO:
♪ What a thrill, the darkness and silence— ♪ (LAUGHTER) AIKA:
Tonight, let's just get some rest and hope for the best! AIKA:
We have to get Vyse NOW. AIKA:
I lied. I have no chill. AIKA:
Nope, I can't calm down. I need to—I need to bite something.
Just gimme that pillow. I gotta bite something. AIKA:
RHJDSFJSHGHGHGHG JELLO:
Aloha: "Being stranded on an island is
the perfect time to grow your hair out!" VYSE:
(Falls off the island) VYSE:
AAAAAAAAAAAAAA— GILDER:
What's your name, kid? VYSE:
(Now's a great time to pick a new name...) I'm Vyse. VYSE:
(F*CK.) VYSE:
Didn't you say something about meeting women and having
some fun and maybe becoming women? I don't know. GILDER:
Ha-ha! Which do you think is more—
wait, what was that last one? VYSE:
I dunno. GILDER:
Which do you think is more important?
Women? Or Daccat's Treasure? VYSE:
Women. GILDER:
Becau—with Daccat's Treasure,
we'll be able to get more women! VYSE:
I am now on board. GILDER:
$20 can buy many peanuts, Vyse! GILDER:
The sooner we find that island, the
sooner we'll be "Daccat's Meow!" GILDER:
This adventure's gonna be "Daccat's Pajamas," an
equippable item we can unlock in the upcoming dungeon! ARIM:
...is it? JELLO:
No, that would be amazing! GILDER (in-game):
Take that! (gunshot) (LAUGHTER) WILL:
My man straight-up executes this guy! WILL/YAM:
Take that! JELLO:
When, uh, Aika and Fina were just
hanging out in the room, it's just like, AIKA:
But, yeah! If there's anything you wanna
know about, just let me know! FINA:
What does kissing feel like? AIKA:
...Oh! Uh. Huh. AIKA:
If you awaken something in me, my GOD— FINA: "When the two become one,
the path will reveal itself to you." AIKA:
What's that supposed to mean?!
Why is Daccat being so stingy?! AIKA:
IT'S NOT LIKE ANY OF HIS GOLD MEANS
ANYTHING TO HIM ANYMORE! AIKA:
(CRYING) FINA:
Huh, when the two become one... FINA:
What do you think that could mean?
Is there anything we can do to try that? AIKA:
Wow! Look, Fina, look! Oh, the treasure chest is huge! FINA:
Vyse... I'm so glad you're alright... GILDER:
I'm here, too! SOLDIER:
Admiral Rem—re-ba-bi-be. It is almost time. SOLDIER:
Everything is going according to plan. JELLO:
He just pivots and stares this guy
directly in the eyes and says nothing. RAMIREZ:
Begin the attack on Nasrad! RAMIREZ:
All vessels, full speed ahead. SAVVY:
Crashes into it. RAMIREZ:
Obviously not what I meant.
OBVIOUSLY not what I meant. SOLDIER:
I'm sorry, Admiral Riziminemema! RAMIREZ:
I'll kill you. AIKA:
I'm gonna be real? I'm just gonna be mad for a while! AIKA:
I was hoping to find a bunch of
gold so I could buy a big ship! VYSE:
I know! You just told me how upset you were! AIKA:
I've been saying it for, like, days! VYSE:
It's only been two hours since we found the treasure... AIKA:
DAYS!!! RAMIREZ:
Anyway, die. SAVVY:
Fucking hell. AIKA:
Oh my god, did they hit it? FINA:
Ramirez... why are you doing this?! RAMIREZ:
(Snoring) VYSE:
It's the same kind of bed that Gilder and I had. VYSE:
Guess the Valuans don't believe
in treating ladies like ladies! FINA:
It's strange... the first time you rescued me from
the train, I was really surprised to see you. FINA:
But this time, I knew you would come for me. GILDER:
Wow! A girl?! TEODORA:
Remove yourself from my sight! JELLO:
H-He got kind of a donk, tho. WILL:
Yeah, whoa. Enrique. ENRIQUE:
Please, follow me. AIKA:
Whoa. That's not gonna be hard. AIKA:
God, it's clapping from there! AIKA:
Good Lord! AIKA:
The crystals are still in the hands of the Valuans. ENRIQUE:
Well, *technically,* you are right. ENRIQUE:
I stole them before I— ENRIQUE:
YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHERE I'VE HIDDEN THEM. WILL:
Takes them out of his jacket—"oh, okay." ARIM:
"I was going to destroy them." (LAUGHTER) JELLO:
Can we wash them first?! YAM:
I hate you guys. AIKA:
Oh, yeah! The Delphinus is going to need a new flag! AIKA:
I have an idea. JELLO:
Anyway, here's our ballroom. GALCIAN:
Uh, actually, here in Valua, we call it the "Balls Room." JELLO:
I knew you'd do that! GILDER:
And before I go, I have three pieces of advice for you. GILDER:
Don't drink, don't eat, don't sleep. GILDER:
Your crew knows that you'll always do
everything in your power to protect them. GILDER:
I can tell, by the way they all look at you. AIKA:
Vyse, protect us! ALL:
AAAAAAAAAAA— AIKA:
Good job, Vyse! GILDER:
You'll accomplish things you'll
never even have dreamed of! GILDER:
Like... changing gender, maybe! VYSE:
That's crazy, Gilder! I... VYSE:
That's, that's crazy. VYSE:
That'd be crazy... POLLY:
Leave the ship's galley to me! POLLY:
I'll cook up lots of tasty food loaded with nutrition! BOY:
Let me join on your crew, please,
please, I wanna be a pirate so bad! JELLO:
"A note written in red ink on jet-black paper."
Graphic design is my passion. PIASTOL:
I have been searching the world for you. Looking
for any trace of your passing I could find... Vyse. VYSE:
Huh? What're you talking about? AIKA:
He's been a pirate for, like— PIASTOL:
I HAVE NO OTHER WORDS FOR YOU! (LAUGHTER) PIASTOL:
Today I will take my revenge! En garde, Vyse! AIKA:
Shit. She knows sp— (LAUGHTER) WILL:
HOOOOLY SHIIIIIIIT PIASTOL:
Why?! Why is it that I— (LAUGHTER) PIASTOL:
I will find you again... and your deaths I shall bring! VYSE:
(Leans forward and licks her finger) PIASTOL:
EW! WHA! UH! PIASTOL:
(Falls off the back of the ship) EUEUGH— IZMAEL:
I'll need 75,000 gold to start building your headquarters. IZMAEL:
Om nom nom. Thanks. IZMAEL:
I'll need 75,000 to actually spend, now! VYSE:
This is what I drew. Being Air Pirates and all. VYSE:
I was thinking for a long time if I should put some
pink stripes on the top and bottom, but, no, I... no. VYSE:
Not yet. AIKA:
I tried to go with something quick and
cunning! That's why I drew Daccat. AIKA:
I was also thinking of like, maybe some
purples, maybe, like, an orange... AIKA:
Let's go! We're just wasting our time here. VYSE:
I'm gonna kill him. VYSE:
I'm gonna kill him. FINA:
I heard you were killing someone in here! I wanna play! VYSE:
Fina, what is it? WILL:
"I WANNA PLAY?!" FINA:
Come to the port, quickly! FINA:
Enrique frew up, and I don't know what to do! SOLDIER:
Prince Enrique! SOLDIER:
(incomprehensible fast speaking) ENRIQUE:
I see! Well done. ENRIQUE:
Ohh, Gregorio was an Armada in the Admiral... VYSE:
Still a little airsick, huh, buddy? ENRIQUE:
Yeah... FINA:
You can throw up again, I won't scream this time! FINA:
AAAAH! ARIM:
He helped mir—ra—JESUS. ENRIQUE:
He helped raise me when I was growing up. ENRIQUE:
I know that... WOW. ENRIQUE:
I know he really doesn't really want to fight,
and he really does want me to really surrender. SAVVY:
Gregorio's on his ship just like, GREGORIO:
We'll probably need to give him at least
half an hour if he's been sailing. ENRIQUE:
Gregorio is the most honorable man that
I've ever met. He won't break his word. VYSE:
I understand. You know a lot about breaking words. VYSE:
We should rest on land tonight. ENRIQUE:
Look, I'm trying, man! VYSE:
I'd pat you on the back, but I'm afraid I'll miss and my hand
will rebound off like a trampoline if I go too far south. DON:
Hmph... I suppose, then, no matter
what I say, you're not gonna listen. (fart) SAVVY:
(Snickering)
Shut up. JELLO:
"This rare, Black Moon Stone holds tremendous power.
It can turn positive energy into negative, and vice versa." WILL:
Vyse should change her name
to Vyrsa when she transitions. JELLO:
That's SO funny. JELLO:
Vyse grabs a piece of the black moon stone— VYSE:
Hehe, you, you never know, I mean... VYSE:
Changes negative energy to positive,
I mean, a-anything—I'LL EAT IT! JELLO:
So! We're in the Southeast Asia country. Everyone's gonna
have Southern accents here! That's what we're doing... JELLO:
That's an accent we're allowed to do... (laughter) SOLDIER:
Invaders will be punished! JELLO:
Gomenesorry! ARIM:
We call these the Yafutoman lands, but to you,
you can consider it a Yafu-No-Man's-Land. KANGAN:
Foreigners have only brought us disaster. We must
cleanse them from our lands immediately! JELLO:
Maybe the Southern accent
DOES work for these guys. MIKADO:
The object that you are searching
for lies underneath Mount Kazai. MIKADO:
Here in Yafutoma, we refer to the sacred object as the MIKADO:
MAGA SPHERE— WILL:
NO F*CKING WAY. WILL:
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!? SAVVY:
"Make Arcadia Games Again." JELLO:
Look, it's not *our* fault we're preternaturally
great at video game improv. SAVVY:
Have you considered doing bits
about the lottery numbers? (LAUGHTER) VYSE:
Let's include Fina on this one! FINA:
What? But I... I don't know what to do! AIKA:
This is where we all kiss! AIKA:
If you wanna be part of our club, you
have to make out with me on the face! VYSE:
...where else would she— ARIM:
"On the face!" WILL:
♪ DA NA NAAAAAA... ♪ SAVVY:
Killed it! ALL:
Yay! MIKADO:
Make yerselves at home, and enjoy the festivities! MIKADO:
We got deep-fried turkey in a barrel! AIKA:
Oh, I can't wait to taste the
gourmet cooking of Yafutoma! ENRIQUE:
This will go straight to my ass. ENRIQUE:
Princess... Hmmmmm... ENRIQUE:
What is a "Princess?" MURAJI:
I find it very unlikely that a traitor would
co—ver become king—I'm losing it, man! JELLO:
What Savvy's doing is how British
people think Americans sound. VYSE:
Okay, that's it. ENRIQUE:
Stand aside. *I* will get him! ENRIQUE:
(Clap... Clap... CLAP...) ENRIQUE:
Where I come from, we have codes of honor on
how a lady such as yourself should be treated. ENRIQUE:
Well, honestly, not that many people
follow that code anymore... ENRIQUE:
But I'm trying my best to be an ally! ENRIQUE:
Belleza and V***** are here as Imperial representatives. Attacking
them during a diplomatic meeting would make us criminals. JELLO:
We're Air Pirates. BELLEZA:
Take the king prisoner and find those Air Pirates. JELLO:
Oh, no, we've been branded as criminals. JELLO:
Wait, we are criminals. VYSE:
Belleza has probably already convinced the
Yafutoman guards that we are ~CRIMINALS!~ AIKA:
VYSE. VYSE, BUDDY. We ARE criminals. VYSE:
What?! VYSE:
Due to the influence of the MAGA sphere, they
automatically have criminalized my very existence! AIKA:
Yeah, actually, thinking about it,
I might be in trouble, too. ENRIQUE:
Ah, yes. LGBT+: JELLO:
Lesbian. JELLO:
Trans. JELLO:
Ally. JELLO:
Big ass. ARIM:
And Gigas. JELLO:
And Gigas! VYSE:
When we find the Delphinus, let's
take it back... Air Pirate style! VYSE:
Non-Criminally! ARIM:
Yeah, not criminally, though. WILL:
I-I just envisioned, like, a hard cut to Vyse on his knees: VYSE:
PLEEEAAAASE? VYSE:
It's ok. I got you, Fina. AIKA:
I'll be right behind you! ENRIQUE (in-game):
AUGH! (LAUGHTER) WILL:
That was such a genuine scream! ARIM:
Yeah! That was like—that was the voice actor suddenly
noticing there's a spider on the microphone! AIKA:
You seem like a different person! Just until
recently, all I ever saw of you was the back of
your head leaning over the railing of the ship! ENRIQUE:
Aika! Oooooh, you have to constantly
remind me about that? >:( ENRIQUE:
Ooh, one of these days! ENRIQUE:
Bam! Boom! Straight to the moons! AIKA:
Which one? :D VYSE:
Hahaha! She's right, Enrique! VYSE:
YOU SUCK! MAN:
I'll get started on this baby in a jiffy! JELLO:
Ohoho, the money shot. JELLO:
You wanna see Vyse being hyper clueless? VYSE:
What's this? Aika's got a picture of me on
her desk. That's kind of embarassing. WILL:
Oh my god... VYSE:
Why does *Fina* have a picture of me on
her desk? It's a little embarrassing... YAM:
Oh my GOD. JELLO:
VYRSA. GIRL. COME ON. VYSE:
Aika and Fina are both great girls, but it really
seems like they're both into women? VYSE:
I wouldn't have a shot with either of them... VYSE:
I'm manspreading! It feels wrong for some reason. ENRIQUE:
If the hull is strong enough to break through stone reefs, ENRIQUE:
perhaps it's strong enough to break through the ice! JELLO:
Um... VYSE:
That might work! We could crash our boat into a glacier! FINA:
...okayyyy! VYSE:
Yeah! Then it looks like our next destination is HELL! ALL:
AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH— FINA:
Why did that work? <:) VYSE:
WAAAAAAAAAHHH— AIKA:
Oh my god, a ghost! (Kicks him) VYSE:
AAAAAAAAAAA— AIKA:
Vyse! What happened?! VYSE:
I forgot... we are THOUSANDS of feet in the air! DRACHMA:
Well... all's whale that ends whale. VYSE:
Shut the f*ck up, Captain. DRACHMA:
You've become quite a sailor. I'm proud of you. VYSE:
Cap'n... before you go, there's
something I wanted to tell you. DRACHMA:
Oh, yeah? Is there? Is there something
finally you want to tell me? VYSE:
You said that you and Rhaknam were both alone... DRACHMA:
Oh. VYSE:
But you're not alone, Captain! DRACHMA:
Is there ANYTHING ELSE you wanna tell me? DRACHMA:
Farewell ladies, and Enrique. VYSE:
He forgot about me! >:O VYSE:
How rude! >:( DRACHMA:
I'm attacking your ship. IZMAEL:
You'll be able to fly over mountains and beneath large
islands! You'll be flyin' all over the damn place! IZMAEL:
(Gasp) I swore, I'm so sorry—no wait noNONONO VYSE:
Get him. :) GALCIAN:
Soon, the foolish Empress and the rest of the
people of this world will bow before my might... GALCIAN:
Not just the people... the people,
and even those revered Moons... GALCIAN:
The people, the lands, and even
the Moons, they will belong to me! RAMIREZ:
Yes, er, you shall reign supreme, Lord Galcian. GALCIAN:
Why'd you—why'd you sound so unenthused? RAMIREZ:
I mean you said—you just kind of—repeated. RAMIREZ:
Like—it wasn't really a speech. It was, like,
one sentence and you said it four times. GALCIAN:
I can't believe this. I've been working
on that speech for like THREE DAYS, GALCIAN:
and you're telling me that I was crap? RAMIREZ:
If you speak in that manner again,
I shall cleave you in two. ALFONSO:
What?! What do you mean? RAMIREZ:
If once again you speak, my sword
will cut you into two equal halves. ALFONSO:
How will that affect the lands and the moons, though?! GALCIAN:
Alright—alright, we can DROP THAT— (laughter) GALCIAN:
STOP IT! ARIM:
One day, we ran into Admiral Galcian in Ixa'taka. GALCIAN:
And if such a power exists, I swear, it shall be mine! GALCIAN:
Now I'm going to start working on a really good speech. (LAUGHTER) PIASTOL:
It's me, I'm back. (LAUGHTER) PIASTOL:
It's time for me to have my revenge! PIASTOL:
Have at you! [DEAD] (LAUGHTER) PIASTOL:
You speak as if my search for you has been
a recent phenomenon, oh red-headed one. YAM:
What the fuck? PIASTOL:
Seven years ago... I was a young girl of ten years. WILL:
You talk like a comments section. VYSE:
I don't wanna talk to you anymore! VYSE:
Piastol... You're not the Angel of Death. You never were. VYSE:
You're so, so bad at this. VYSE:
It's embarrassing. PIASTOL:
Vyse, I... I don't know what to say... VYSE:
Sh-sh-sh, I told you. I'm tired of hearing you talk. VYSE:
Go. SAVVY:
Vyse has disrespected a woman,
that's character growth. VYSE:
Piastol's a GIRL?! Oh, NO! MARIA:
I have you, and Vyrsa to take care of me, too!
I don't have to be lonely anymore. VYRSA:
Well! You sure have grown, Maria! VYRSA:
Thank you~! PIASTOL:
Uh... e-excuse me. MARIA:
What the hell are you wearing? MARIA:
Uncle Doc told me something. MARIA:
aaaaaaaaaaa MARIA:
AAAAAAAAA MARIA:
He told me that I have a big SISTER! VYRSA:
Wha—Doc, we're over here! DOC:
I think she wants to get to know her! VYRSA:
Doc! DOC:
Yeah, little by little! DOC:
To ease back into things! DOC:
Someday they'll be family again! VYRSA:
We're—we're behind you! DOC:
Oh, my GOD—Jesus Christ! (LAUGHTER) DOC:
Good luck, Vyse. VYRSA:
it's... it's Vyrsa... VYRSA:
Thanks. JELLO:
He looks so pissed off! ENRIQUE:
Vyse... wait a second. VYRSA:
It's V-Vyrsa, now, actually... ENRIQUE:
Oh, oh—I'm sorry. VYRSA:
You get four strikes. ENRIQUE:
That's very generous, thank you. ENRIQUE:
Vyse, after we get Fina's ship, could
you bring me to Sailor's Island? YAM:
That's two, Enrique. ENRIQUE:
Sorry—oh, my god! I—(punches another hole in the card) ENRIQUE:
Y'know, Vyse—augh, y'know, Vyrsa, we'll call it even. SAVVY:
For every four stamps, they
have to buy Vyrsa a free froyo. VYRSA:
Enrique... are you really going? VYRSA:
I just wanna formally apologize... We've been so rude to you,
for no reason at all... you're a good guy, and a good friend. AIKA:
Yeah, that's all behind us now! :) ENRIQUE:
I... FINA:
Enrique... be careful! AIKA:
BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS! AIKA:
Do you think I should've said something else? VYRSA:
Yeah, girl! AIKA:
Ohhhh... AIKA:
Enrique left us... and once we get back to
Crescent Isle, Fina will leave us, too... VYRSA:
This is the first time in my life that I haven't
been excited about sailing somewhere... WILL:
Aw! YAM:
Aww... VYRSA:
I LIED, THAT WAS AWESOME! VYRSA:
YO, THIS FUCKIN' RULES, THAT SHIP'S SO FAST! VYRSA:
YO, SAILING? IS FUCKING AMAZING. I'LL DO IT ALONE
IF I HAVE TO. I DON'T CARE IF YOU ALL DIE! AIKA:
BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS! GILDER:
Alright, we've just dropped Enrique off,
it's time to f*ckin' celebrate! JELLO:
D-Drachma comes through the door— DRACHMA:
Oyyy, Drachma Balls! WILL:
DRACHMAAAA! JELLO:
Fuck. SAVVY:
Oh! VYRSA:
What was that?! MARCO:
YOU HAD A PARTY AND DIDN'T INVITE ME?! (laughter) MARCO:
Vyrsa, it's an emergency! MARCO:
YOU DIDN'T INVITE ME! SAVVY:
Enrique's outside like, "This is for not inviting me!" RAMIREZ:
Only through death can the Crystal
be retrieved from our bodies. RAMIREZ:
I can get the Silver Crystal any time I please. RAMIREZ:
(Kills self) AIKA:
I remember when we used to
watch the sunset on Pirate Idol. AIKA:
P-Pirate Idol—you remember that show? VYRSA:
I, I love that show! AIKA:
Yeahh, it's cute. AIKA:
Kiss me. VYRSA:
Haha, what? FINA:
Will you travel with me? VYRSA:
Fina, we'll go anywhere with you. AIKA:
Let's figure all this stuff out... together. AIKA:
Feel free to read into that. TEODORA:
Enrique! Ooh! JELLO:
You can see where he gets his donk from! VYRSA:
Galcian! Ramirez! FINA:
Vyrsa, that sphere is the Silver Gigas, Zelos! VYRSA:
What?! VYRSA:
Who are the Men from the East?! AIKA:
VYRSA. GALCIAN:
The six Moons shall obey my commands! GALCIAN:
I've been working on this pose for ten years! GALCIAN:
Do you like it? RAMIREZ:
I—ignore what he's doing. We are serious. RAMIREZ:
Here comes *my* cool one-liner. RAMIREZ:
You may live long enough to see it...
Then again, you may not! >:) FINA:
We have to get back to Dangral Island! VYRSA:
But who are the Men from the East?! AIKA:
Oh my god, VYRSA! GILDER:
Vyse! What's going on?! WILL:
Gilder! JELLO:
Punch your card, Gilder! GILDER:
Oh, f*ck! VYRSA:
I've got an idea! We're gonna run up the rail! GILDER:
I like getting railed, but this is too far! ARIM:
God, his face looks like a melted candle. (LAUGHTER) GILDER:
Vyse, um— VYRSA:
Nope! GILDER:
Uh— YAM:
Nope! GILDER:
FUCK! GILDER:
AUGH! VYRSA:
RUN! GO GO GO GO GO! VYRSA:
Gogogogogo! Yeahyeahyeahyeahyeah gogogogogo! (SCREAMING) VYRSA:
AH! VYRSA:
Oh no, I fell on you, haha~ AIKA:
Oh, no, I'm happy again :) GALCIAN:
The perfect castle for me. ARIM:
I mean, yeah. It's a, it's a dick with six balls. GALCIAN:
Always use protection. GALCIAN:
No one can pass the con-dome! GALCIAN:
The world... is mine! GALCIAN:
♪ Sekai de ♪ ARIM:
Galcian thinks that Hatsune Miku
is a man because of the tie. SAVVY:
Hatsune Mike! GILDER:
Vyse, maybe we should head back to
Crescent Island. Take a minute s— ENRIQUE:
We must stop Galcian! AIKA:
But... how? AIKA:
Sorry, that "but" was on accident! I'm sorry. ENRIQUE:
Vyrsa, maybe you could show me—where
did they print out the cards for you? ENRIQUE:
I think that's—that's like, a good system. VYRSA:
Yeah I'll—I'll get you some. BELLEZA:
There's something else I have to take care of. VYRSA:
Something else? VYRSA:
Don't fall asle—hey, wake up. FINA:
I have one thing to ask you... FINA:
Please... stay by my side? YAM:
Ooh, smooth. FINA:
Vyrsa...! FINA:
Thank you. FINA:
Can we stay like this a little longer...? VYRSA:
Hey, Aika. AIKA:
Oh! Hey, Vyrsa. AIKA:
It looked like you were talking to Fina... how's she doing? VYRSA:
Eh, she seemed a little worried about tomorrow... AIKA:
Maybe I'm just scared... AIKA:
Heh... this isn't like me, I guess... VYRSA:
I'm scared, too. AIKA:
Really? I didn't think you ever got scared. VYRSA:
Yeah, I'm terrified. VYRSA:
I've been really worried about how
you'd react when I tell you I'm a girl. AIKA:
Good night! AIKA:
You'd better not oversleep! Your dad's here, remember? VYRSA:
Okay, now I have a whole new thing to think about. YAM:
That was so cute, gang! SAVVY:
We need more polycules in video games. GALCIAN:
So, you decided to join the losing team after all. SAVVY:
OHH— WILL:
Oh, JESUS! GALCIAN:
AND REMEMBER: WE ARE
THOUSANDS OF FEET IN THE AIR! WILL:
Holy shit! SAVVY:
Fucking—oh my god— YAM:
GILDER! LOOK OUT! GILDER:
What a lovely day AAAA— GALCIAN:
Belleza! BELLEZA:
I've been a woman the whole time. GALCIAN:
WHAT? BELLEZA:
Hatsune Mike? BELLEZA:
Also a woman. GALCIAN:
No, but the tie! SAVVY:
No, he has to go out with a penis metaphor. GILDER:
Vyse, make sure you're well-prepared
before you head in there. VYRSA:
All right, you're not coming. GILDER:
Alright, that's fine. I'll get dinner ready. SAVVY:
Pretty sure that's a free, uh, yogurt for her. ENRIQUE:
Vyse, will you let me go with you to Sultis? ENRIQUE:
I just said—oh, my god, I'm so sorry. SAVVY:
Two free froyos! 🎉 AIKA:
We have to win! Right, Captain Vyrsa? VYRSA:
(Mwah) AIKA:
Ohmygod—heeheehee! <3 YAM:
Aw! RAMIREZ:
And now you will die! AIKA:
Butt butt butt butt butt! AIKA:
Oh, Enrique, I forgot you're right nex tto me! ENRIQUE:
Ah, just, uh, you just owe me three froyos! ARIM:
Are—are we just kind of setting
that up as a new currency? VYRSA:
Oh, "froyo" is slang for a hundred million gold. AIKA:
WHAT?!? RAMIREZ:
Zelos will feast on your souls! RAMIREZ:
Anything? RAMIREZ:
Ughh... AIKA:
You should meet Piastol! (laughter) VYRSA:
Ramirez lived in the skies,
and died in the skies... RAMIREZ:
Bldflghl—I'm still not dead! VYRSA:
Shut up. VYRSA:
Ramirez... may you rest in peace. VYRSA:
And remember... VYRSA:
We are thousands of feet in the air. VYRSA:
Goodbye, you little shit. FINA:
Vyrsa, Aika, I... FINA:
I have something to ask of you... AIKA:
YES, A HUNDRED TIMES YES. VYRSA:
YES. YES. ABSOLUTELY. FINA:
Oh, ok! :> FINA:
I would be honored if you would
let me continue to sail with you. AIKA:
Yes! Yes! A hundred times yes! VYRSA:
We wouldn't have it any other
way—a million times yes! VYRSA:
A, a froyo times yes! YAM:
Awww! WILL:
Holding hands— JELLO:
Oh, wait, I love this. YAM:
Oh! ALL:
Awwww! ♪ (music) ♪ YAM:
Yaaaay :) JELLO:
Thank you so much for watching! JELLO:
If you liked what you saw, be sure
to subscribe and hit that bell icon! JELLO:
We got two other videos coming out this month,
so it's a real good time! And, uh, JELLO:
I've been sittin' at 1.9 million subscribers
for a while, and uh, ehe, JELLO:
y'know what? JELLO:
I'll say it! I'd really like to hit 2 million. JELLO:
I'm not too proud to ask; I'm not too
proud to beg. So if you could just... JELLO:
just, click that button... JELLO:
that'd mean a lot. JELLO:
Thanks :3 JELLO:
And while you're being so generous with your clicks, why not
also head on over and subscribe to Jello Plays Games, JELLO:
our streaming channel? JELLO:
That's where we do the full playthroughs
that get edited into these videos! JELLO:
You can check out our *entire* Skies playthrough, JELLO:
it's one of our best ones, JELLO:
genuinely worth watching unedited! JELLO:
Because the game is really good,
and we are funny B) JELLO:
But! JELLO:
Maybe you're a busy bee! JELLO:
Maybe after narrowly fitting those two
subscription clicks into your busy schedule, JELLO:
you don't have *time* to watch a full playthrough! JELLO:
Well, I got great news for ya. JELLO:
There's an extra video up on the Patreon
right now with the best jokes that we cut for time. JELLO:
And now? You can check 'em
all out in one convenient place! JELLO:
Uh, actually, this time around Patrons get TWO bonus videos;
there's the extra highlight reel, like usual, JELLO:
and there's an editing breakdown,
to show off how I made this video! JELLO:
Because there are a lot of absurd
visual effects in these, and I spend,,, JELLO:
so much time on them... JELLO:
oh my goodness. JELLO:
Uh, thanks again for watching. Subscribe, and,
genuinely, you should go play Skies of Arcadia. JELLO:
I don't care that this video spoiled some
of it. It's really good. It's worth playing. JELLO:
Ok bye!
