-This song was inspired by the Super Bowl, ya know. Here we go. ♪♪ -♪ Standing in the motel room ♪ ♪ Looking out
at the neon lights ♪ ♪♪ -♪ Your fingers traced my lips ♪ ♪ As we drove
through the Paris ♪ ♪ Ni-i-i-ght ♪ ♪♪ -Wow. Wow, wow, wow. What an outstandin' first half
of this Super Bowl XLVIII between the Denver Broncos
and the Seattle Seahawks. -Absolutely, Jimmy! That one play with the one guy who did that one thing -- incredible. [giggles] -But the big story of this game
is the unfortunate news of Bruno Mars and the
Red Hot Chili Peppers having to cancel their half-time show. -Yeah.
I guess their flight had to be rerouted due
to the polar vortex. -Oh, man! I really wanted to see
Bruno Mars. That little fedora-wearin'
jumpin' bean. I just love him. -Fortunately,
the producers scrambled and were able to find
a last-second replacement just across the Hudson River. -Yes, sir.
This year's half-time show is going to be performed by some of the best
and brightest of Broadway. -The show's about to begin,
so let's head down to the field. [ Crowd cheering ] -Holy, cannoli! Growin' up in New Jersey,
I never thought I'd ever see a Super Bowl played
in my own backyard! Hey, ain't you Peyton Manning? -Is it that obvious?! -Today's the big game! Ain'tcha nervous? -[Laughs boisterously] A little. After all, it is... ♪ The Super Bowl ♪ -♪ The Super Bowl ♪ ♪ It's Denver and Seattle ♪ ♪ Ancient rivals
locked in battle ♪ ♪ The players are
in their costumes ♪ ♪ And now it's time
for them to travel ♪ ♪ Across the court ♪ ♪ One hundred yards of green ♪ -♪ I hope I score ♪ ♪ A tackle for my team ♪ -♪ So, who's gonna win
that gorgeous ♪ ♪ Super Bowl ♪ ♪ Ri-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-ng? ♪ -Oh, my! -Well! [chuckling] It was only
one year ago. I was down on my luck! A has-been! And then... she walked in.
In, in, in... Ohhh, face it, Peyton! You can't throw worth a darn! -Not from where I stand! The name's Mama Pass and I'm the best dang
quarterback coach this side of 7th Avenue. And I can tell ya
all ya need's a little... ♪ Whomp, whomp ♪ ♪ Throw it where they're goin' ♪ ♪ And make sure
that they're wearin' ♪ ♪ Whomp, whomp ♪ ♪ Your same-colored shirt ♪ ♪ 'Cause if they catch ya,
you'll be ♪ ♪ Whomp, whomp ♪ ♪ Scorin' all the touchdowns ♪ ♪ That's the only way to ♪ ♪ Whomp, whomp ♪ ♪ Win all the points ♪ -Oh, Mama Pass! You really think I could win the Super Bowl?! -[chuckle] Oh!
You bet your hand muff. Nothin's gonna stop you! -Well, don't be
so sure of that. -Oh, no! Richard Sherman?! -Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Ben Vereen. [ Jazz plays ] -Hello, Peyton. If you're not careful, I'm gonna stea-ea-l your ball. Here's a tip. Don't throw it
where you hear the tap. ♪ A tap like this ♪ ♪♪ Or like this tap here. ♪♪ ♪ A tappety tap ♪ ♪ G-tap, a-tap ♪ ♪ Tap, tap ♪ ♪ And that's what you Call ♪ ♪ An interception ♪ -Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Knock it off, Sherman! Save it for the field! It's game time! [ Whistle blows ] [ Up-tempo music plays ] ♪♪ -♪ Get the ball ♪ ♪ Get the ball ♪ -You're tearing me apa-a-a-rt! -♪ Tackle, run ♪ ♪ Kick, huddle ♪ ♪ Drink lots of Gatorade ♪ ♪ Win, win, win, win ♪ ♪ Win ♪
-Ohhhhhhh! [ Whistle blows ] -Stop! It's Peyton! He's hurt! -It's my old injury! I thought it healed. Ah! Such a fool! [ Coughs ] -Don't -- Don't speak. Just sing. [ Poignant tune plays ]
-♪ I guess the game is lost ♪ -♪ All you need is
whomp, whomp ♪ -♪ Suppose I was just ♪ ♪ Too old ♪
-♪ Don't you say it ♪ ♪ Whomp, whomp ♪
-♪ At least you're by my side ♪ -♪ He's bleeding, whomp, whomp ♪
-♪ Time to say ♪ ♪ Goodbye ♪ -♪ This is not what I wanted ♪ -♪ We're all just ♪ -All:
♪ Strangers on the grass ♪ ♪ But we all want
the same thing ♪ ♪ There's no Seattle ♪ ♪ There is no Denver ♪ ♪ There's just ♪ ♪ Lo-o-o-o-o-o-o-ve ♪ -[Sobbing, clapping] Oh. Okay. Stay tuned for the second half
of the Super Bowl. -Both:
And, live from New York, it's "Saturday Night"! -It's time to play... Here's your host, Steve Harvey! -Hey. [chuckling] Hey hey hey hey. Yeah, okay, now! Welcome to
"Celebrity Family Feud." Now, in honor of my meetin'
with Donald Trump, I'm wearin' a Trump tie. Trump ties -- ties so long, they put a little tickle
in your pickle. Now, this is the
Super Bowl edition, so we got celebrity
New England Patriots fans takin' on celebrity
Atlanta Falcon fans. And, on the Atlanta side, it's Falcons fan
and little musical rascal Justin Bieber. -Um, yeah. What's up, Steve? Um, I don't know
if you've heard, but, I'm not bad no more. Um, but I could still
do this -- -[Laughing] Oh, okay. Next, we got the offical
voice of the Falcons, Samuel L. Jackson. -It's about time we got
these motherflippin' Falcons in the motherflippin'
Super Bowl. -Hm. I don't know.
It's something different about you, Samuel L. Jackson. Okay. Next, we got the most
famous chef in Georgia and America's
leading cause of diabetes, Paula Deen!
-Y'all, I love the Super Bowl. While the boys are throwin'
around the old pigskin, I'm gonna cook up a pig skin
and serve it with a side of cheesey fajittles. -[laughing] Alright. Finally, on the Falcons side, the man who suspended
Tom Brady for Deflategate, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell. -Hello, Steve. -Now, wait.
You really a Falcons fan? -Absolutely. Love the Falcons. Doesn't have anything to do
with not wanting to give the Super Bowl trophy
to Tom Brady. -[chuckling] Oh, man. You gonna be watchin' the game
with the same face Obama had while he was watchin'
this year's election. Just like... Alright.
Over on the Patriots side, we got Brazilian supermodel
and Tom Brady's wife, Gisele Bundchen. -Oi e tudo bem. I love the American Super Bowl, where millions of people
come together to watch TV and eat this garbage.
[chuckle] -[chuckling] Oh.
You know, your name sound like what my underwear
be doin' sometimes. Gisele Bundchen.
[bunchin'] [ Chuckling ] Next up, we got
a successful millionaire who dresses like
a seventh-grade boy, Patriots Head Coach
Bill Belichick. -Ah. Come on.
Evening, Steve. Hey, we're havin' fun,
here, right? -Bill, cheer up, man. You won six Super Bowls
and I have never seen you laugh. Gimme a laugh, Bill.
Come on. -Ha ha, ha ha ha ha ha,
ha ha ha ha ha ha. -Oh, I'm sorry I asked. Alright. Next, we got
a actor from Massachusetts and a Oscar favorite,
Casey Affleck! -Um, how you doin', Steve? I, uh, I'm doin' good, I guess. Excited for the Super Bowl. Um... Go, Pats and all, right? -Oh, my God. You like the first half of a commercial
for antidepressants. And, finally, this year's
Super Bowl halftime performer, Lady Gaga! -Thank you, Steve. ♪ I've got a million reasons ♪ ♪ My halftime show
will rock ♪ They said I can't be political. Don't worry. I'm not gonna. -Oh, my God. Seein' you perform
for football fans gonna be like if Toby Keith
hosted the Tonys. [ Laughs ] Let's play a game. Gimme Gisele. Gimme Justin.
Let's get on up here. -Aw. Hey, girl. Uh, how you doin'? -Hm.
-Uh, Justin -- Justin, I got some
bad news for ya, player. That don't work
on women that's grown. -Yeah, yeah.
-Yeah. Alright. Top 6 answers on the board. The Super Bowl is Sunday. Name one thing that you
would take to a party. [ Ring ] Gisele! Cachaça and caipirinhas. -What you say
about Sasha and Malia? -No. No. I said Cachaça
and caipirinha. They're drinks.
Tudo bem? -You know, I don't know
what you sayin', but you look good sayin' it.
[laughs] Show me golashes and capers! [ Buzzer ] Well, I'm sorry.
They ain't up there. Uh, Justin,
what you bring to a party? -Um, Steve,
I don't, uh, party as much 'cause I'm a man, now. I got like five
little mustache hairs and I'm bringin' 'em all
for you, girl. But, uh, when I do party, Imma
bring my signature cocktail. -Oh, I know exactly
what you're talkin' about. Show me juicebox! [ Ding ] Aye! Number 6 answer. Okay.
The Falcon fans had a boy. Alright.
Samuel L. Jackson. Something that you bring
to a party. -Why do I gotta bring somethin'? You invited me. That's a stupid-ass question and I hope you burn in hell! -Uh, look here. I don't know
who brought you up in here, but I'm watchin' you. Well, okay. Paula Deen, give me something
that you bring to a party. -Well, y'all, a party's
gotta have food, so, Imma bring my famous
seven-layer cheese dip. That's cheese, then beans,
then cheese, then farts,
then beans and cheese! -[chuckle]
Man, you like if Michelle Obama
had an opposite person. Show me "bring some
extra Febreeze"! [ Buzzer ] Oh. Sorry. Two strikes! On to Roger Goddell. Something you bring to a party. -Oh, I lo-o-o-ve to party. Just you and a dozen lawyers
in a luxury box, just gettin' turnt, turnt up. -Yeah.
That's a great answer. And, on behalf of all
the players in the NFL, this is dedicated to you. [ Buzzer ]
Yeah, alright. Patriots fans
got a chance to steal. Something that you
take to a party. Gimme some answers.
-Uh... -Dwarves.
-A puzzle. -Hoodies. Hoodies, maybe.
-Okay. Great answers, there.
But, Gisele, it's up to you. What do you take to a party? -Steve, a party is
being together. I'll say the beautiful
spirit of togetherness that makes us all part
of the tapestry of humanity. -Okay. Show me some nonsense! [ Ding ]
Aye! Alright! Man! That was the number 1 answer. My Lord!
How did that happen? Bill Belichick,
did you hack the board? -Ha ha, ha ha ha ha ha,
ha ha ha ha ha ha. -Oh, you sneaky old fool. Let's go to commercial. When we come back,
I'll tell ya the name of the tiny little elf
who hides in my mustache. I'll see y'all later. Oh, man. -Green Bay! [ Cheering and applause ] -Let's go, Pats!
-Hey, guys! We got a lotta great
Super Bowl specials. We got a nacho bar, hot wings, two-for-one PBRs, and my wife's brother's band's
gonna play some music. -What? -[English accent] Hello.
Excuse me, everyone. Hello.
-[English accent] Hello. Can we have
your attention, please? -Do you mind?
We're the Fingerlings and I know your game
is starting soon. We've got a few minutes. We're gonna play
some music for you. -That's right.
A special thank you to my brother-in-law Patrick for letting us use this place. Thank you. -Oh, come on! -Now, look. You're not gonna miss any
of your big game. We promise. -Yeah, maybe a few minutes.
That's all. -A few minutes, at the most. So, if you could be big boys and appreciate what we do.
-Yes, yes. Shall we? This song was inspired
by the Super Bowl, ya know. Here we go. ♪♪ ♪ Standing in the motel room ♪ ♪ Looking out
at the neon lights ♪ ♪♪ -♪ Your fingers traced my lips ♪ -♪ As we drove
through the Paris ♪ ♪ Ni-i-i-ght ♪ ♪♪ -♪ Weeping in the pouring rain ♪ ♪ With blue mascara
running down my face ♪ ♪♪ -♪ Dancing
with my trousers off ♪ ♪ At that disco in Berli-i-i-n ♪ -♪ All I can say is ♪ ♪ Embrace me ♪ ♪♪ -♪ Embrace me ♪ ♪ Under the neon lights ♪ ♪ Embrace me ♪ -Do you know
that feeling, fellas? -Would you shut up! The game is starting! -Yeah, shut it! Green Bay! -I'm gonna switch this off,
so you all can focus. -Hey, hey! Come on! -Please be patient. This is the visual portion
of our show. -Listen, we're not being
rude to you, so there's no reason
to raise your voices at us. This is about the Super Bowl,
anyway, isn't it? -That's right.
It's about the Super Bowl. -♪ Smearing my lipstick
on the bedroom mirror ♪ ♪ While I cry about you ♪ -Lipstick?! -♪ Traipsing through
the streets of Rome ♪ ♪ With sparkles ♪ ♪ In my hair ♪ -♪ All I can say is ♪ -♪ Embrace me ♪ ♪♪ ♪ Embrace me ♪ ♪ Under the neon lights ♪ ♪ Embrace me ♪ -The game is starting
right now! Patrick, shut them off!
Come on! -I'm sorry!
I promised my wife! They'll be done soon! -[bellowing] Pat, please!
-You know, the longer you carry on like that, the more of the game
you're going to miss. -Let's hear you all. -♪ Embrace me ♪ -Come on. For the Packers.
-No! -♪ Embrace me ♪ ♪ Under the neon lights ♪ ♪ Embrace me ♪ ♪ Under the neon lights ♪ ♪ Embrace me ♪ -We mean it.
-Yeah. Has everyone gone, then? -Yeah. -Were the drinks too expensive? -No, it was more
about you guys. -Did you...? -Did they not like the song? -Did you like the song?
-No! -Even a little, tiny bit? -[chuckling] Yeah.
-Tiny bit. Tiny bit. There it is.
-Well, you know, come on up here. ♪♪ -♪ Embrace me ♪ ♪ Under the neon lights ♪ ♪ Embrace me ♪ -The Super Bowl
is tomorrow night and, here with her predictions
for the big game is the one-dimensional
female character from a male-driven comedy. Welcome back, Heather. -It's me, Heather, from work. You might not have
noticed me, but, when you're making jokes
with your friends during the meetings, I'm the
one in the back, going -- [ Sighing ] -Okay. Uh, so, for a one-dimensional
female character, I hear you're actually
a pretty big football fan. -I know.
It's pretty confusing, right? I'm a girl, but I'm also hot, but I also like sports. It's why I'm in this cute
girl jersey. And, tonight, I'm gonna walk in front of my
stainless-steel refrigerator, in just this and no pants. That's how much I like sports. -Okay. Great.
So, do you have any predictions on the score? -Fine.
I'll go out with you. But I'll probably
get annoyed with you halfway through dinner
and leave. You really need to grow up. -I do? -[sigh] You're one to talk. Do you even remember
Meegan's launch party? You were so wasted!
You made a fool of yourself, while I was in the back,
in an $8,000 dress. My face was like this
all night... You need to grow up. -Okay.
So, whaddya think -- the Seahawks, Patriots? -Alright, the truth -- I'm pregnant. -I'm sorry.
You're pregnant? -You just can't tell it from looking at my body
from the front, or the back, or in a bikini. My body just doesn't show it,
ever, and it never will. Sorry I'm so complicated. -I feel like I'm missing
something here. -Oh, just like
you missed Lamaze class because you decided to get
thrown into a country jail for streaking with your friends, Fat Jerry and Horny One. -Is anyone following this? -Remember? You called me from jail
and I said, "Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm." [ Sigh ] -Heather, I have no idea
what you're talking about. -Nice try, Colin. [tearfully] Run away,
like you always do. You know what the worst part is? I actually thought you'd be
excited about this. God, I'm so stupid. -Heather, I'm utterly baffled
by what's going on right now, but I promise I had no intention
of making you cry. -Wow. You really have changed. You've grown up a lot. -When?! -I guess my sassy gay friend
was right about you. He said, "Girl,
that guy is fierce, in here." Queen didn't lie.
Here. Do you wanna hold your baby? He has your eyes and your face. -Oh, my God. I'm a dad! I mean, I have so much
to teach my child. Wait a second.
Is this the baby from "American Sniper"? -I know. Confusing, right? -The one-dimensional
female character from a male-driven comedy,
everyone! -Go, Pats.
They didn't have the Super Bowl Blackout sketch from season 38 which contains one of my favorite lines ever, "Ray Lewis knows who killed those people because it was him"