SML Movie- The Contract!2023- Full Episode

all right craft today we have a craft pet it's a goldfish and I named him crab cake hero crab cake a it's so little it's so cute wait wait you like little things like are you impressed by little things I'm talking about the fish so crass you're probably wondering why we got a crft pet in the first place was to teach you all responsibility so each week one of you is going to get to take the fish home and if the fish dies while you have it then you're automatically expelled so who wants to take the fish home first me me me I want it I want it I want it I want it I want it here shut up you don't know how to take care of a fish let me have this but but I want to take care of it too me me who should I pick pick me no pick me pick me I'm yelling louder than her I'm yelling louder I'm yelling louder than you okay stop creaming stop creaming I'm tired of you creaming right in my ear it's like you guys come up to my ear and cream right in it but since junior and pel PE both want to take crab cake home we're going to let crab cake decide so Junior and Penelope come on up here let crab cake decide he's a fish you're just mad cuz he's going to choose me no he's going to pick me because I'm pretty all right whoever crab cake swims towards gets to take them home so go come here crab cake come here crab swim towards mewi towards me me he chose me he chose me well good Junior you good take them home first yes what's wrong Penelope don't talk to me are you mad because the fish chose me and not you you're going to kill it oh thank you I think I'm going kill it too I think I'm going to do a good job taking care of this fish no kill it as it will be dead oh yeah well we'll just see how dead it is when I when I when I kill it when no I meant like kill it as then take care of it kill it like you did a good job like I killed it guys you ready to come over to my house and watch me kill it like like not like kill it like take care of it yeah dude I got the class pet I got the class pet that's nothing to brag about Junior if he dies you get expelled he's not going to die Cody cuz I'm going to kill it stop saying it like that I'm saying I'm going to kill it like I'm going to do a good job well you shouldn't say it like that now Joseph do you know how to take care of fish oh yeah dude it's easy all you have to do is feed them like once a month wait once a month once a month yeah look if he gets thirsty he has all this water he could drink yeah look at all this water Junior I don't think you're going to take care of this fish right okay Cody since you're so worried you want me to feed him right now we we can feed him Pizza he can't eat pizza Junior why not because fish don't eat pizza yes they do in that SpongeBob episode that one fish ordered a Crusty Crab Pizza what that was SpongeBob it was a cartoon but I like pizza so he should like pizza junior he can't eat pizza okay how about we call Penelope and ask her what fish eat I don't think Penelope is going to help us because you took the fish from her look look I'm going to use my smooth voice and then she's going to come fast all right guys it's ringing what I didn't say anything I meant like what why are you calling me oh well poupe that's not my my name it's Penelope whatever Pennsylvania I was just thinking about what happened earlier today and I wanted to call and say I got the class pit I got the class pet Bo how mature why are you wasting your time calling me I want to know if you want to come over and help me take care of the fish me help you but I thought you were so amazing you could do it on your own well I I am I can do it on my own I'm so amazing I'm the best fish taker care ever ever I just want to see if you want to come over and see a master of someone who takes care of fish I'm hanging up no no no no wait wait Penelope I'll be honest if you don't come over and save this fish it's probably going to die uh fine but only for you Cody yeah all right guys I'm going to brush my teeth she's not going to kiss you maybe I should use toothpaste she's here hey Baby E I'm so glad you decided to come over I brushed my teeth for you oh do you even floss no disgusting where's the fish it smells like it could be nearby I meant crab cake upstairs all right baby here's the fish hey Cody oh hey look at fish what's he doing he's doing fish stuff look at that what do you guys need my help with well Cody says the fish doesn't eat it's going to die that's true so we don't know what to feed it fish food what's that I knew you would be unprepared so I brought some what you brought some baby see look we're meant for each other you're always prepared I'm always unprepared you complete me no Cody completes me all right Joseph since you had a fish before I think you should be the one to feed it okay no problem dude Joseph what are you doing what that's how I feed my fish dude I give them all the food all at once once a month so I won't have to feed them again you're you're only supposed to give them a little bit yeah yeah now the Bowl's all dirty we have to clean the bowl we have to clean the bowl all right who wants to grab the fish I'm not touching that what are you looking at me for I want you to grab the fish grab it like with my hands yeah I'm not a bear Junior I can't just grab fish just grab it Cody what what am I supposed to put it in once I grab it uh this cup what Junior I don't want to do this this is disgusting Cody baby it'd be so manly if you grabb that you're baring up the wrong tree come on Cody please grab it oh okay I'll grab it ew ew ew it's a wiggly Junior put him in the cup put him in the cup Cody did you just drop the fish down the yeah you killed him you killed him no no no no he's not dead look he's in there we can get him out he's still alive just you go sit over there we we don't need someone screaming right now all right Cody we have to call a plumber Ginger going to throw up look go throw up over there don't throw up in the sink we're coming fishy I to call a plumber hey there somebody call a plumber yes Mr Plumber please please Mr Plumber was my father you can just call me plumber okay plumber all right so what's the problem well we were cleaning out my fish's bowl and we accidentally dropped the fish down the sink oh that's no good but don't worry all drains lead to the ocean Finding Nemo taught us that one but that that's actually the garbage disposal yeah Nemo doesn't want to go in there he's going to end up with a whole bunch of more bad fins well can you get my fish out I should be able to let me just take a look see if I can see them oh man it's dark down there I can't see anything you mind if I turn on a few more lights yeah you can all right this should help let me just flip this on what's wrong just give me a second what's wrong well you know you done one of those like 3,000 piece jigsaw puzzles yeah it's you fishy he's dead yeah I I guess what is he no no no no you you really don't want to see that wa he's dead yeah I'm going to get expelled from school now well I didn't know that maybe you told me that I'd be more careful what am I going to do I I think the the the best thing to do would be to what what is that hold on I think I hear my phone ringing what I don't hear anything yeah no that's definitely my phone I I left it out in the car I should I should go answer that in my car hey oh no what am I going to do Cody pineapple Cody do you think the fish is going to be okay we call the plumber he'll get him out it's fine how's the fish Junior he's been better where's the fish Junior uh what part of him what do you mean what part uh he's in about 35 pieces wh why what happened the plumber turned the garage disposal on what aome dude oh my God you killed him I'm to to teacher you're going to get expelled no no no no you're not guys guys get get her I got her get in there all right stop screaming my dad's going to hear you okay Joseph you're going to stay here and you're going to guard the door okay okay I got you dude come on Cody all right Cody if the teacher finds out I killed the fish well you killed the fish me yeah because you dropped in the guard puzzle and then the plumber turned it on so you're like secondhand killing it we all we all did it yeah we well you mostly you but anyway if the teacher finds out that that the fish got killed I'm going to get expelled well well you could always try replacing that fish with another one you're right Cody that's genius I have some in my pantry wait what right here junior that's a Goldfish cracker don't call me that call you what you said that's a Goldfish cracker no I said it's a Goldfish cracker cuz that's what it is just don't just don't call me that word what would you call it I would call it the snack that smiles back Goldfish okay so that's not going to work no Junior you're going to have to do better than that go get a real fish from a pet store okay all right Cody I got a new goldfish this fish is hugee it's the only one the pet store had but the last one was so tiny how are you going to explain to the teacher that it grew twice its size well maybe it's the Grinch what because you know the Grinch's heart grew twice its size Junior this fish didn't steal the last can of hoo has well well look at least it's a fish and I'm not going to get expelled over your stupid shaky slippery hands aren't you used to grabbing like weird Wiggly things yeah so then why' you drop the fish I don't know it's just all slippery and slimy okay look we're going to take this to school and the teacher's going to believe it we you say that we fed him a lot of food and I don't know this is stupid look look we're going to work it out we're going to work it out okay oh man guys I'm so nervous I don't want to get expelled dude you're not going to get expelled you left with a fish and you came back with a fish that's all that matters but this fish is twice as big as the last R sorry CR I'm raped it's raining cats and dogs outside so if you're hungry go outside and catch you some food anyway let's get started for the today uh where's paneri uh uh uh she sick oh okay all right Junior I'm going to come check out crab cake and make sure he still arrive oh here old crab cake you're a huge crab cake Junior what have you been feeding crab cake actual crab cakes uh yeah yeah he he loves his crab cakes he he eats cheeseburgers and he eats steaks see he's on the seafood diet if he sees it he eats it kind of like Cody's mom she eats everything that's in front of her oh well I'm sorry crass but we no longer have a crass pet because I'm going to turn him into some sushi how did you get out Cody yeah take her back to the closet okay come on you what was that oh uh that was Penelope you know she stayed home sick from school today and she came to the school to see what the homework was for tonight cuz she's a nerd and she really loves doing homework so Cody went to go show her what the homework was oh okay so does that mean I'm not expelled no you passed you brought me dinner for tonight you get a a y hey mommy hey Daddy you guys want some Cheerios no o I'd like some Jeffy okay Mommy here you go what Jeffy what are you doing Mommy said she wanted some Cheerios she said like in a bowl well she didn't say that plus it's too many instructions Marvin he was just trying to be nice Jeffy you're going to get a vacuum and you're going to clean up all this mess what's your vacuum it's a machine that sucks and makes a loud noise oh so like a hooker no Jeffy like a vacuum it has like a big nozzle on it okay I'll go get it he's going to clean up every single one of these Cheerios all right d I got the vacuum that's a leaf BL come on what I got the vacuum like you said that's a leaf blower why don't see any leaves Marvin he was just trying to help stop taking ins side you always take ins side there's someone at the door Jeffy go get the real vacuum and clean up all this mess hello hey Marvin oh sorry Goodman I don't have my house payment this month well it's okay Marvin I'm not here to take money from you I'm actually here to give you money give me money yeah let me introduce you to someone Chief watch you pe oh I am chief what you be and he does I took a piss earlier he watched me the whole time H hi so what's going on well he's wanting to buy your house demolish it and then build a casino on it this land will make great Casino well I don't want to sell my house I like my house well he's offering you $50 million $50 million people love Casino oh okay I'll sign it right now give me a pen well hold on Marvin we want to give you this contract and then you talk it over with your family and then we come back later and pick up the contract well no no no I know I want to do it I don't have to talk it over with them I'll sign it right now no no no Marvin you have to wait 10 minutes and talk it over with your family and also you can't let anything happen to this contract because the chief will not make another one nope I only make one yeah you see that little ink stain down there his pin leaked a little bit of Ink on the paper and he didn't even print out another one so I can't let anything bad happen to this contract no and he also forgot to put the sign here line so we had to write that in ourselves so how about I just sign it right now so nothing bad happens to it no Marvin you have to talk it over with your family because hopefully something hilarious will happen uh okay we'll be back in 10 minutes okay nothing's going to happen to this contract baby baby baby what Marvin Jeffy I told you to clean up all these Cheerios well I'm trying to eat them as fast as I can Marvin what is this okay some Indian guy wants to tear down the house and build a casino Marvin you can't say that it's Native American not Indian well what about Cowboys and Indians no you can't say that anymore we said that our whole lives but Marvin they're not from India okay listen some guy with a feather in his hat wants to tear down our house and build a casino aw but I love this house baby he wants to give us $50 million and he said that we got to think about it Marvin we do have to think about it you have to think about what color pen you want to use how about Green for the [Applause] money and there I signed it it looks perfect Marvin so now all we got to do is wait 9 minutes and they're going to bring us $50 million what possibly could go wrong in 9 minutes oh you have no idea sister Heat's playing I'm making heat Burgers heat heat heat heat heat wait what's that oh oh oh oh well then Jimmy that's a very important document Jeffy perin go get it where is it where is it shev have you seen a document oh you talking about this shev put the fire up my bad it I was making Burgers oh my God what am I I going to do you understand that contract was worth $50 million I didn't know I was over here making heat Burgers oh did you get the paper Marvin uhhuh oh my God what happened to it it got burned in a fire well don't worry Marvin just call the guy I'm sure he'll print out a new one you won't believe this goofy [ __ ] the guy doesn't believe in two contracts he only makes one that's just silly Marvin I'm sure if he really wants this house he'll print out a new contract but you don't understand he said he'd only ever make one but I guess you're right if I just call Goodman and explain what happened maybe he can convince the Indian to make another one Native American Marvin I don't whatever okay I'm going to get my phone so you really think they're going to destroy the contract in 10 minutes L than 10 minutes every time I drop something valuable off here they always find a way to screw it up I don't know what the hell goes on in that house this one time I had a dog I didn't want anymore so instead of taking it to a pound I brought it here and told Marvin that it was worth $2 million and that I would give him $50,000 to watch it for me and when I came back they had shaved the dog and put a red nose on it and told me it was a reindeer you've got to be kidding me I'm not so remind me again what is our bet if they destroy the document in 10 minutes or less you owe me $50 million but if they don't you owe me 50 million yep I love gambling on stupid [ __ ] me too oh look look who's calling it's Marvin there's no way oh get ready to pay up hey Marvin uh Hey Goodman um are you around the Indian Native American the Native American Chief watchup PE uh no Marvin I'm all alone I can tell by the sound of his voice that contract is already destroyed I really can't believe they think my name is Chief watchup be my name is Greg so uh there was kind of an accident and the contract got burned in a fire so I was wondering if I I know he said that he doesn't make copies but is there just a chance that Chief watchup PE could just make a copy just this once pay the [ __ ] up I really can't believe you right but a deal is a deal I'll go ahead and transfer the money right now unless you want to go double or nothing oh you're on I bet that he'll destroy a second copy of the contract within 5 minutes there's no way he destroys it that quick hey Marvin I'm going to do you a solid I got a secret copy of the contract I'll bring it to you but you have to promise me that you won't destroy this one oh my God thank you Goodman yes I promise I'll take care of this one I won't let anything happen to it I promise all right Marvin I'm on my way stupid [ __ ] he's such an idiot thank you so much Goodman thank you baby he's bringing a second contract see Marvin I told you all you had to do was believe you were right that's him with the contract hello Goodman hey Marvin I'm doing you a wicked solid by bringing you the copy of this contract this is the absolute last copy of the contract that we have so so you better take care of it are you laughing no I'm just I'm just trying to tell you the importance of the last copy that we have this is the last copy that will ever be in existence so you got to think about it and then sign it and then get it back to me in 5 minutes cuz I'll be here with the chief no no no I want to sign it right now so so nothing happens to it m you you got to think about it you got to take this inside and think about it with your family okay but I I just can sign it right now no you can't like by law you can't I have to leave and you have to take this and you have to sign it and you got to think about it okay hey Greg I told him that there weren't any more copies anywhere ever but we have a whole stack of them right here I know okay baby I got the second contract oh thank God Jeffy go to your room you mad at me yes I'm mad at you why cuz you turn on the leaf blower why I do that I don't know why you turn on the leaf blower lower I hardly know her Jeffy go to your room okay baby give me the pen here you go I'm about to sign it okay but this Pen's not working oh my god oh no the pen broke it leaked all over the paper Marvin calm down I'll get the white out hurry hurry hurry oh my God okay Marvin see here's the white out there there's no need to be a Mr Grumpy pants it's made for these situations so explain to me what it's going to do it's going to White out that stain but then the papers just going to be white yeah well we can write the words in after okay I I guess that's better than just the ink okay so here you just take a little bit and oh my God Marvin pick pick you [ __ ] oh are you mad at me yes I'm mad at you why cuz you spell white out on the paper why did I do that just leave oh my God now there's ink and white out on the paper I'm just going to have to call Goodman and ask if he can give me another contract God I hope he has another copy oh Goodman I think I'm going to get my money back this time I highly doubt it oh look who's calling me it's Marvin and I doubt he's calling me to tell me that the contract is safe or signed hello Marvin hey Goodman listen I know you gave me a copy of the contract and you told me it was the absolute last copy of it but you you won't believe this I was trying to sign the contract contract and then my pin broke and ink got everywhere and then I tried to put white out over the ink and it just got everywhere and so the whole contract's ruined and I was just wondering is there any chance like any chance at all that you have one last copy of the contract well isn't that the goofiest [ __ ] I've ever heard triple or nothing I promise you if we give him another contract he will destroy it within 1 minute there's no way but you're on okay Marvin you won't believe it but I have one more copy shut the [ __ ] up oh sorry it's [ __ ] bananas and I'll bring it to you but you have to take care of this one we have no more after this oh my god really okay thank you so much I'll take care of it I can't believe he had another one oh that's him hello just take it I promise I won't let anything bad happen to it mhm I bet literally no like I promise nothing bad will happen to this all right you just do your best champ I promise you don't have to worry about anything God I love that man he keeps me Rich okay I got an erasable pin so if I make any mistak Stakes I can erase it and jeffy's not around there's no one else around I'm going to sign it and I'm going to get my $50 million okay it is signed so I'm just going to go downstairs and wait and not let anything happen to this contract hello hello sir I'm a paper shredder salesman not interested whoa whoa wait wait wait wait wait this bad boy can shred any piece of paper you want me to show you is that piece of paper you have there no go away jeez what was his problem nothing is going to destroy this contract nothing okay I think that might be Goodman hello hey Marvin we're here for the contract did you sign it I sure did no way Goodman you owe me $150 million you actually signed the contract and took care of it what about the paper shredder guys in here that didn't work hey that's cheating it doesn't matter he didn't fall for it what's going on listen we're both Rich [ __ ] so we like to bet on stupid things and so I bet $50 million that you would destroy that contract within 10 minutes and you actually destroyed it and then he said double or nothing and then you destroyed it again and then we said triple or nothing and then you signed it I'm out of here sore loser Hey listen I'm sorry for everything I put you through today but you made me a lot of money so here's 10 grand [Music] what oh I hate the night [Music] shift [Music] access [Music] deny access [Music] granted [Music] getting too old for this all right Susan I'm here what do you got for me a bunch of cookies missing from the cookie jar sir H how many cookies approximately 30 damn somebody must have had a sweet tooth the god see anything he was found tranquilized at the South entrance would you like to speak with him nah he'll be no good till tomorrow morning what about fingerprints he was wearing gloves hm a professional these cameras work they are just for show sir of course they are nothing's ever that easy all right what about milk was there any excessive milk buying in the area the usual milk sales in the area sir okay what about The Usual Suspects what's the Cookie Monster been up to Cookie Monster is in Paris France huh what about the Pillsbury Dough Boy honeymooning in Fiji huh I didn't know he got married good for him I guess now we have to call him the Pillsbury married man permission to laugh sir granted H okay what about the muffin man the muffin man the muffin man I don't know about the muffin man the one who lives on Drury Lane oh no he only likes muffins sir not cookies that you know of all right sir the cookie jar is in there but forensic says no one's allowed in there I didn't get to where I am today by being a coward I'm going in did you find anything in there sir no the jaw is clean we did have one casualty show me the body it's quite gruesome sir I've seen a lot of things in this line of work I can take it one time I even saw my ex-wife come out of the shower it was gross all right here it is Sir Jesus Christ this is the most brutal murder I've ever seen took a bite out of him like a wild animal Jeffrey dhama would be jealous it is truly shocking chocolate chip more like chocolate chip any Witnesses we do have one but he ain't talking take me to them all right sir here he is he looks pretty shaken up I don't blame him he's been through a lot excuse me sir I know you've just been through a very traumatic experience but I need your help who did this to you he's still in shock that's okay take him to the hospital he's had a rough day oh sir s sir forensics just turned in this piece of evidence and Bingo was his name a Marvin I'm so tired I just want to lay down relax and watch a movie yeah me too what Jeffy what are you doing I'm just trying to get myu in a row balloon tips what well Daddy you know how after a joke the drones go balloon tips no they go balloon tips Jeffy stop saying that just get rid of all the Ducks but Daddy each one of my duckies has a joke well we don't have time for that that's a lot of ducks and a lot of jokes well I better get started no a Marvin come on I want to hear the ducky jokes just make it quick Jeffy all right Danny why did this ducky get arrested why he got caught shelling quack balloon tips sh stop that's the inappropriate joke Danny why did this ducky crossed the road why to get to his quack dealer which was this ducky balloon test stop saying that after every joke Daddy what did this ducky say to his quack dealer I don't want to know put it on my bill balloon tips are you laughing at the joke with the the ending part yes all right Daddy what does this ducky wipe when he goes to the bathroom what his butt quack balloon tip it was funny until you said that at the end Danny what is this Ducky's favorite ballet what is it the nut quacker balloon tips okay we're done with the jokes we're d d hold why couldn't the ducky sleep why cuz his parents were ducking all night replace the D with an F Jeff that's the last joke we're done here balloon tip why no DD where do ducks go when they're sick I don't want to know the ductor okay that's a clean joke balloon tips until you say it like that what do ducks carried their school supplies in what they back quack balloon tits they were these are clean jokes until they get bad all right d this is the last one what do you call a duck that breaks into other people's houses what a robber ducky okay balloon tips that was my favorite until you said Ballo tits oh there's someone at the door Ju Just just clean up these duckies Jeffy I want to hear the ducky jokes again all right Mommy why did this ducky get arrested why he got caught shell and Quack balloon tip oh hello don't Hello me with the cops what are you doing here is your son home wait what is that this Nerf bullet was used in the most brutal crime of this generation wait what crime somebody stole cookies from the cookie jar what the cookie jar the cookie jar no no no no that's impossible they said the cookie jar is the most protected cookie jar in the world it's like guarded by a guard and a steel door yeah well someone did it anyway and this is the only clue I've got what makes you think my son did it because your son is a kid and kids play with Nerf guns and if he's a kid then he must have a Nerf gun and this bullet goes to a Nerf gun so this might be the bullet for your kid's Nerf gun no no no I promise my son wouldn't do that yeah I'd cover for my son too if he did such a heinous crime no no no my son's been been upstairs rearranging his Ducks I don't know what kind of weird sick lingo that is but I'm coming in and I'm talking to him a robber ducky balloon titch I need to talk to you Marvin why are the cops here he thinks Jeffy did a crime what Jeffy you wouldn't I didn't oh yeah recognize this no all right well how about now no I thought you'd only recognize it if it was going inside of an officer's face like you did at the cookie Vault I didn't do that oh yeah you got a Nerf gun of course I do I got to stay strapped in case someone wants to run up on the quack dealer let me see that yeah the bullet wouldn't fit okay he's clean I told you my son wouldn't do this man the Trail's gone cold you wouldn't happen to know anyone who likes cookies would you Cookie Monster no I already checked that he's clean he's in France well we have a chef downstairs that sometimes bakes cookies a chef who sometimes bakes cookies what if he decided he didn't want to bake cookies anymore what if he thought his cookies did didn't taste good enough so he decided to steal the cookies from the cookie jar that bastard M I love eating chocolate chill cookies with my creamy nutmilk no homo you son of a biscuit eating bulog what the french toast what are you doing here oh you know why I'm here you know what you did admit it I didn't do anything what are you talking about oh you know exactly what you did and I want to hear you say it I didn't do anything oh yes you did you have guilty written all over your face oh my God he knows all right I'm sorry I'm sorry look I clogged the toilet I had to use the bathroom I had to poop and I ate a lot of cheese look the roll fell in the toilet I tried to flush it I'm sorry what no no no no no no you you stole the cookies from the cookie jar what no not these cookies I got these from chis a Hoy oh damn you chips a Hoy the Trail's gone cold again you wouldn't happen to know anyone else who likes cookies would you yeah this annoying stupid brat named Junior who's Junior oh he's just a stupid brat that eats cookies and leaves crumbs in his room eats him in his room why would he eat cookies in his room unless he didn't want people seeing him eat the cookies but why wouldn't he want him see him eating the cookies unless the cookies were stolen that bastard oh man I love eating cookies in Chef pe's bed you thought you could get away didn't you kid what are you talking about oh don't try to make excuses I caught you Cookie handed no I don't understand what's going on oh come on kid don't play dumb we could do this the easy way or the hard way and they're both pretty similar to be honest well no I'm I'm just eating cookies in she's bed why are you eating cookies in bed because it's Chef's bed and I like it when he yells at me and goes Junior why' you eat cookies in my bed now I got to lay on crumbs okay nice try but wait didd you get the cookies um chips a Hoy look under the covers you you're you're wearing pants right yeah okay good oh damn you chips a Hoy Trail's going cold again you wouldn't happen to know anybody else who also likes cookies would you I mean I like cookies but I didn't do whatever you thinking I did um nope I don't know anyone all right well I guess the Trail's going cold well guy I guess this is just one case you're not going to solve let's get out of here wait a minute I feel like the an is right under my nose or in my ass poy how could you I'm sorry guy you you know I like cookies but but why didn't you just go to the store and buy some chips aoy yourself come on guy you know the best type of cookies are stolen cookies you know I'm going to have to turn you in for this or we could share the cookies I could lose my job for this but okay let's eat those damn cookies officers get in here what's wrong sir it's time to give you your Christmas bonuses oh great I can finally afford Christmas presents and I can finally get me a motorcycle uh sir I think you made a mistake this says $25 not $2500 well that's because you boys haven't been making enough arrests wait so we get paid depending on how many arrests we make yeah from the cour houses and all that well we didn't know that well if you boys made more arrest you'd get more money but but we have to get money ahead of Christmas I'll tell you what whoever can make the most Rest by the end of the night gets $20,000 as a Christmas bonus I think I can get more rest than you I can get more rest than you you're on I'm coming hello hey hey is is that your car over there parked in the road uh that's jeffy's car yeah well that that that is [ __ ] up that ised up that you think it's okay to do that cuz that's illegal it's illegal to park in the road yeah you bet your ass it is you you have a driveway for a reason you park there okay cuz like what if a fire truck needs to come cuz there's a fire and it can't park there cuz there's a car there huh like what what if your neighbor across the street that like their house is on fire and it's burning down and then it burns all the way down and all the kittens died because a fire truck couldn't park there to put the fire out cuz your car is there that's I I just thought it was illegal to park in front of a fire hydrant oh yeah oh yeah smart ass come come with me come come look what's that what do you call that a fire hydrant yeah and look where he's parked right over there no that's so far away yeah do you know how big a fir truck is it's like 100 ft long and if it has a ladder on it it's even bigger so they'd have to park like right here and then they'd have to run the hose from here all the way around the truck and his car to put the fire out over there I bet you didn't even think about that did you okay look I'll just get Jeffy to move the car no no it's too late now he already broke the law I might have to arrest him well arrest him over where his car is parked yeah yeah so where is he he's upstairs well let's go talk to him all right Officer he's right here hey you what what are you doing riding my imaginary Pony well stop it cuz I have a question for you huh is that your car out there in the road yeah you're under arrest Oh Daddy what's going on Marvin what's happening he's arresting Jeffy for parking in the road cuz that's illegal apparently no it's not hey hey you two shut up or I'll arrest you two you can't arrest us cuz we didn't do anything wrong oh yeah well whose Coke is that mine hauh well you just made a big mistake confess to that cuz that's illegal it's Diet Coke I don't care if it's better for you it's still illegal it's a schedule to drug you're under arrest rest for what for having and doing coke now get on top of him don't worry Marvin I'll bail you out and what's that over there on your plate is that weed no it's lettuce yeah like the devil's lettuce you get a medical card for that no well you're under arrest too and what's that Canada Dry you're not even a US citizen you're from Canada let me see your papers I don't have any well then you're double arrested get over here and get on top of both of them all right now I'm going to read you your rights you have the right to remain silent you have the right to remain silent and you have the right to remain silent if you can't afford an attorney one will be appointed to you if you can't afford an attorney one will be appointed to you and if you can't afford an attorney one will be appointed to you you get an attorney you get an attorney you get an attorney everybody gets attorneys look under your seat it's an attorney now you you on the bottom you piggyback everybody to the car yes sir get in there wow I just got three arrests just like that suck that Simmons yeah suck it look Danny he's riding an imaginary Pony too there's going to be someone in this house like [ __ ] arrest okay guys are you ready to play let me shoot you in the face with my Nerf gun how is this supposed to be fun well Joseph rolls those Dice and whatever number it lands on that's how many times I get to shoot you in the face dude I love this game all right Joseph roll the dice Don't Mind If I Do dud oo that's eight damn it all right Cody I'm about to shoot you eight times like 50 Cent uh that was nine times dude oh okay I'll shoot you nine times then but that's not what the dice said fre what's going on here the cop what are you doing here is that a gun uh it's a Nerf gun do you have a permit for that no get on the ground you're under a this is ridiculous it's a Nerf gun shut up you dude let's see how many years of prison you get oh dang 11 you going down bro D you shooting dice you're under arrest too that's illegal what you're gambling get on top of him okay but this discrimination wait wait that's how we're doing this uh uh officer what do I have to do to you to get in that pile that's bribery you're under arrest too get on top of them I'm actually going to just squeeze them in the middle here we go all right all three of you under arrest come to my car what okay who else can I arrest in this house all mate can you get at the door what Simmons what the hell are you doing here this is my house your house yeah I've already arrested people here it's off limits I already claimed it well I just arrested three people right here well I just arrested three people well it looks like what high mate Simmons I'm getting that $20,000 I need it more than you do I have child support I have an ugly ex-wife I have an ugly current wife well I want a motorcycle you don't even have legs Simmons you're just going to slide off listen this house is off limits you take these three to your car and then don't come back all but stupid Simmons this is my house come on you stupid Box open free you're under arrest for what you're a serial killer oh haha I get it no no really you're under arrest for stabbing the serial box it's illegal that's not illegal yeah and what do you think a serial killer is huh and eating cookies for breakfast that that that's just absurd you should have like eggs or toast or something there's a bunch of crimes going on here get on the ground you have the right to remain silent okay oh man I love playing me some Call of Duty I got this 10 kill Street did I just hear you say you killed 10 people yeah it's about to be 11 too oh man you kill me f I'm going to come to your house I'mma kill your daddy and bang your mama and then I'm going to marry your mama I'm become your stepdaddy we going to have some kids and then I'mma keep banging your mama I I just heard you admit to a lot of crime so you're under arrest oh you going to arrest me but what if I snitch on my friends will you let me go H that depends on how many people I can arrest well see let me tell you about my boy Pooky see Pooky he goes up to the post office and he be mailing some letters without any stamps on him see how gets away with it is is he puts the address where he wants it to go as the return address so when they send it back for you to pay for some postage he he ain't got to pay fors it and it goes where it's supposed to go huh that that's actually a really good idea well let me tell you about my boy dooo ass see what he do is he be goes up into the restaurants where he works and he ain't wash his hands that's really concerning with a name like dooo ass yeah it sure is and then when people pay with cash what he does is he put the cash up in his pockets and then he tells the owner that they DED and Dad okay well I I will definitely look into doooo ass man I wouldn't do that cuz you going to get some pink eye but let me tell you about my boy stank breath what he do is he goes up into the dp's office and he steals the little free toothbrushes they be giving to people who get their teeths clean and then he goes out front of the Dollar Tree and then sells them for dollar wait wait wait if he's stealing toothbrushes why is he called stank breath well because he's selling them he ain't using them okay well is there anybody else yeah my boy Steven but that's the first normal name I've heard yeah let me tell you what he be doing he dresses up in some camo frog and he goes around and get some military discounts and then the products that he gets the military discounts are he sells it and then he keeps the money okay well you've given me a lot of useful tips but I'm still arresting you oh man you don't turn me into a snitch snipps get Pips okay well you're still under arrest come on hello officer Simmons mother officer Simmons is here hey buddy how's it going I have something I have to show you I threw boobies on an ex get so hot that's indecent exposure you're going to jail oh I get it you want to play cops and wers not really oh I'll play along all right put your hands behind your back you're going to jail buddy yeah sure all right go to my squad car I got to take care of your mother is that my big sexy honk of a man Simmons right there ma'am oh Simmons I'm misses and I also put up my Christmas tree I also hung the stockings but there's just one one thing missing someone to stuff my stockings well I can do that for you ma' oh no Simmons is there something on your shirt we might need to get that off of you you know ma'am that's assaulting a police officer oh no Mr police officer mans please don't have your way with me well that's up to the judge to decide in the bedroom oh no let's go all right all right all I have to do now is arrest Jonathan and my mom and then I'll have seven arrests there's no way Simmons has that many hello oh hey mate what Simmons what the hell are you doing here oh I was bouncing around in your mom's kangaroo pouch she called me her little Joey but I think I'm more of an average siiz Joey what do you think mate what ew Simmons ew look just let me arrest Jonathan to my mom too late mate your mom's already handcuffed to the bed e okay well fine just let me arrest Jonathan then no I already got him too I arrested him for drawing boobies on an N sketch damn it well how many arrests do you have now I have five well I have five how are we still tied I don't know mate oh no Simmons it's almost midnight we have to get back to the office but we're still tied well not after I arrest you for indecent exposure cuz you're naked in public like what what if a family walks by that's illegal you're under arrest well what if I arrest you because I'm here bangging your mom so that technically makes me your stepdad and I own the place and you're trespassing so are you're under arrest no you're under arrest no you're under arrest you're under you're under e e e Simmons Simmons it touched me I'm going to need you to put clothes on before we do this all right but what is taking him so long sorry mate your mom wanted another round of Simmons says Simmons says suck it what I don't need to know this Simmons you're under arrest no you're under arrest no you're under arrest come here come here under arrest put your arms behind your back so I can arrest you no you put your arms behind your back so I can arrest you no you boys boys what's going on here I don't want to hear it what matters is how many arrest did you make well I made five arrests I made five arrests well actually six if you kep me winning cuz I'm On Top okay well I got I know who the winner is but how it seems like a tie to me unless you count me winning or we can split the money I get 10,000 and you get 10,000 no actually you know what wet Wily wet willy wet willy no I know who the winner is well who is it it's Lieutenant cuddlesworth what the does he need $20,000 for he can't ride a motorcycle and he doesn't have to even pay child support how many arrests did he make officer cuddlesworth made a whopping 15 arrests here's your money boy damn it Simmons we shouldn't have let money come between us yeah I'm sorry mate I just really wanted a motorcycle friends friends now let's take that money anyway cuz he's a dog what's he even going to do with it my oh my God all right Joseph are you ready to go to the park and drink root beer all night oh dude you know it I'm so ready to drink some root beer oh yeah all right let's go invite Cody okay wait why you know his mom's not going to let him come out the house well let's at least try okay whatever dude I love looking at dank memes what wait G guys what are you doing here guys what are you doing here well me and Joseph want to know if you want to go to the park and drink root beers and play yeah dude well heck yeah I want to go to the park and drink root beer then let's go but guys it's a school night my mom's not going to let me do that why don't you go ask her she might say yes well I guess I could ask just wait here so honey I was thinking about becoming vegan you know since I don't like most Foods wait wait wait I thought you love my sausage oh I do I do that doesn't have to stop okay then baby my Mom Dad wait what do you want ain't you supposed to be in bed boy yeah Cody this is Mommy and Daddy time uh I I I was just wondering if I could go to the park and drink root beer with my friends now you know you're white but ain't supposed to go outside on no school night yeah Cody and you know you're not supposed to drink root beer either it has the word beer in it mhm but but but but guys it's a soda and see that's where they start you off the government want you to drink root beill so you can have a problem when you older yep you just can't put the bottle down mhm so can I go or not no you cannot go now go and get in your room and you don't even think about trying to sneak out Cody we're going to ground you and then send your little butt to military school yeah just like my mama did me okay now what about that sausage baby yeah she said no she said no that's lame yeah dude what a square yeah sorry guys I guess I'm just not going to be able to go well why don't you sneak out well I'm not allowed to sneak out Junior my mom said if I sneak out she's going to ground me and send me to military school well she's not going to find out just lock your door but I'm not allowed to lock my door it's only going to be like an hour so lock your door she's not going to check on you come on sorry guys I guess I just can't go Cody you're so lame yeah you're a loser dude yeah I guess we'll just take our root beer and go have fun by ourselves yeah let's go dude come on Joseph wait wait wait wait wait wait wait I do really like root beer yeah root Beer's really good come on it's cold it'll make you cool convince me I mean we really want your sexy face to hang out with us and drink root beer sure okay all right you talking me into it let's go guys yeah let's go let's go yeah chilling at the park with my Bros drinking root beer dude I love root beer it's so lit yeah yeah wa Cody how'd you get up there guys I'm just up here I just snuck out of my house and I'm living my best life drinking root beer in the park dude hey hey guys you dare me to jump off this thing yeah do it do it do it do it dude okay okay okay all right here I go here I go Cody oh my god dude what happened are you okay dude Cody Cody are you okay yeah dude guys I think I broke my teeth you did look there on the ground a [ __ ] guys what am I going to tell my mom she's going to find out that I snuck out and then I'm going to be grounded well you're not going to tell her anything Cody look we're going to go back to my house and we're going to figure this out okay so grab your teeth come on okay yeah come on Cody stop crying we're going to figure this out but Junior my mouth hurts and my teeth are missing my mom is going to notice and then she's going to ground me send me to military school your mom's not going to notice cuz we're going to put your teeth back in your mouth well how are we going to do that Junior I don't know a glue or tape that's not going to work Junior okay then let's replace your teeth with something else like what uh corn what corn yeah corn dude yeah your teeth are already yellow so corn would look good what Junior that's going to look stupid come on let's try it and done wao dude it looks so good I can't even tell the difference right but guys how am I going to eat what how am I going to eat if I have corn for teeth well you have corn for teeth so just eat your teeth du yeah but then I'm not going to have any teeth then grab some more corn out of the can idiot he's so stupid he's not thinking guys my parents are going to notice that I have corn for teeth how are they going to notice the same color as your old teeth yellow so they can't tell the difference it looks different Junior okay so what do you want to do Cody well we need to find a way to cover this up how are we going to cover this up you're getting your teeth busted I got an idea guys ooh ooh what if we make it look like it happened at school what yeah so what if we go to school and we bring your teeth with you and we make it look like you got your teeth busted out at school then they know that you didn't sneak out and they know you didn't drink beer dude that's genius I know huh that that could work but what am I going to do about tonight what if my mom checks on me and sees that I don't have teeth oh so we need something to cover your mouth yeah um I got an idea how about that a medical mask Junior yeah my mom's going to wonder why I'm wearing a medical mask well tell her it's flu season and all your friends are trying to make out with you well I don't want to lie so we we could make it true try to kiss me Junior uh Joseph try to kiss him dude I'm not going to kiss him that's gross yeah Cody this whole thing's a lie yeah you're right so look go home and try to avoid your parents well what if they try to take off my mask then don't let them okay yeah so like you leave and I'll just keep your teeth safe here with me no no no no no no I know what you're going to try to do junior what you're going to put my teeth under your pillow and try to cash them in with the tooth fairy what Cody that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard I don't even believe in the tooth fairy what what am I five and also the Toth fairy wouldn't want your teeth cuz they're yellow and gross yeah I guess you're right I'll see you guys tomorrow at school yeah Cody you get out of here with your accusations I I would never try to do that Joseph actually I think the tooth Fair would think his teeth are more valuable cuz they look gold so they might be more valuable dude it's is dude I know some put him under my pillow I'll see you tomorrow quiet I don't want to get caught wait wait wait what was that sound what sound it sounded like a window I'm going to go check on Cody wait I thought you was going to have some of my blackberries well I'll have some when I get back you want to be vegan and everything hey Cody oh hey hey Mom what do you want well I heard a window noise like maybe you were trying to sneak out no no I've just been sleeping you know till you came in well Cody why are you wearing that mask oh this mask well well I heard you swallow a whole bunch of spiders in your sleep and I don't want that well that's terrifying oh and I also forgot to give you your big open mouth good night kiss well Mom I think I'm getting a little old for the big open mouth good night kiss well Cody you got one yesterday Mom I'm just really not in the mood okay okay Cody I'll just kiss you on your forehead that was close Cody I need to talk to you what do you want Dad did you brush your teeth before you came to bed uh yeah well show me then I I I can't why not because because what because because don't lie to me boy I I I I didn't brush my teeth see I knew it you know how I knew because I checked the bathroom and I checked the toothbrush and it wasn't even wet uh well you you got me yeah I know I got you you can't pull one on your old pops now come on come to the bathroom you going brush your teeth all right boy you going to brush your teeth and I'm going to stand here and watch you brush it the whole time okay uh get de Bress uh uh all right uh right now did you just drop your toothbrush in the toilet yeah well you better get it out of the toilet and start brushing okay let me just get it uh oh no oops what are you doing that's your toothbrush boy toothbrush yeah oh my God you know what we going to the store tomorrow and we going to get a whole bunch of toothbrushes and you going to brush your teeth all day okay okay now come on uh all right boy go to sleep cuz you're going to have a long day of brushing your teeth tomorrow after school you got me yes sir what is wrong with my life ow Cody shut up Junior my teeth are broken and my mouth is all swollen well maybe you shouldn't have ran in the monkey bars well maybe you shouldn't have made me sneak out of the house well maybe your parents should have been more cool and let you go out what Junior what is happening all right Cody we have to make it look like it happened at school right so when you're not expecting it I'm going to throw something at your mouth and make it look like your teeth broke out what are you going to throw in my mouth I'm not going to tell you Cody I want to look natural so look just shut up and pay attention in class and Joseph yeah dude when I throw something my C face I want you to go oh his teeth are out dude his teeth are out okay make it look make it look believable okay oh yeah dude I got it all right Cody just pay attention to class okay okay all right crass today we're going to be learning about teeth humans have 32 teeth unless you live at Alabama and then you missing all your teeth and you're married to your cousin I'm missing three of my teeth wao dude Junior I think you broke my nose wow Joseph you didn't say wao his teeth are out dude sorry dude I forg not Junior it wouldn't have mattered anyway my mom's never going to believe I get hit in the face with a baseball in the classroom what so no baseball no no baseball now I have to explain my broken nose and my broken teeth all right Cody look I'll hit you with a different object just pay attention in class and I'll throw something else at you okay just just make sure it's something that makes sense in the classroom this time okay okay no baseball I get it so humans have 32 teeth but how many teeth do sharks have I don't know let me Google it oh oh it right here it says sharks can have up to 50,000 teeth in their lifetime that's a roted teeth you can eat a lot of cat and dog with o teeth sharks are cool was that a hammer a hammer Junior wow Joseph you still didn't yell his teeth are out dude dude I was just surprised that you used a hammer yeah me too Junior why would we be throwing hammers in a classroom well maybe it was a science experiment like an object in motion stays in motion Until It Breaks my nose Okay Cody what object would you like me to use any object that would make sense in a classroom just look around and pick an object okay Cody I'll do it again you must remember to take care of your teeth you have to brush your teeth every morning and every night before you go to bed if you don't take care of your teeth then you'll lose your teeth see I have lost my teeth see I'd brush my teeth if I still had some Junior why are you picking up your d uh his teeth came out dude a desk Junior yeah you said choose an object in the classroom not a desk my mom's never going to believe someone threw a desk at me then what object would you like Cody I don't know like a textbook why didn't you just say so all right let's do it again hey dude I said my lies though yeah Joseph said his lines okay great but we still have to do it again Joseph I think Cody likes getting hit in the face weirdo I don't like it you're just doing it wrong all right let's let's do it again let's get it right fine just get your desk our first President George Washington he had wooden teeth but that was because his father was a cherry tree or something I don't know how the story go hey Cody let's make this more believable ask me to toss you a textbook Junior can you toss whoa dude sorry Cody we have to do it again Joseph didn't say his lines oh dude I forgot my bad no no we're not doing this again I'm done teacher my teeth got knocked out yeah his teeth got knocked out dude oh Cody how you Ru your teeth do you need me to call a nurse or call your parents or something yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah you know what can you just call my parents and tell them what happened Cody your teacher told us you got your teeth knocked out at school yeah why your face look like that oh well I told my friend Junior to toss me a textbook and he accidentally tossed it too hard and hit me in the face well Cody are you sure it wasn't on purpose yeah this don't look like an accident this look like a hate crime oh no no no he's white it really it it doesn't really hurt that much I I just really want my teeth fixed well Cody I think we should press charges yeah we can get them arrested now no no no that that's fine really I I'm I'm not that worried about it oh yeah we could even sue them oh we should see if there's surveillance footage Tyrone call the teacher okay I'll do that baby uh no no we don't have to do all that hello what you want hey Cody's teacher we were wondering if there were any cameras in the classroom that could have seen what happened to Cody today oh yeah that camera but uh I haven't watched it yet you want to see it oh yeah let's watch it no oh no that that's okay I don't really want to relive it well Cody I want to know what happened to you let's watch it all right mom so if you watch it uh that that that yeah that's a baseball yeah that's not a big deal oh and that that's a hammer yeah he did hit me with a hammer too oh oh yeah the desk yeah he hit me with the desk um what else oh oh that's right yeah and then then there's the textbook The Textbook I told you about oh my poor baby see I knew it was deliberate I knew it was a hate crime Cody he hit you with the baseball wait was that a hammer Cody we're definitely pressing charges oh no no no we don't have to do that really really I I I I told him to do that it's okay no Cody that kid's going to jail I'm going to go call the police yeah you do that baby huh who Could That Be uh hello hey there kid mind if we come inside and talk to you for a minute uh yeah what's going on shut up uh you know what I I'm sorry I just like to feel powerful we we'll explain inside oh okay all right kid here's what's happening this kid's parents want to press charges against you for what what you did to his face what's press charges mean that means you're getting arrested arrested for what cuz my son face is purple like a grape you know I like grapes I eat grapes I don't want to eat my son face thank you Dad you're welcome but I didn't do anything oh yes you did you threw a baseball a hammer a desk and a textbook at his face you told on me you little snitch they had a video Junior and I want him to get the highest punishment I'm talking about the electric chair well he's not going to get the electric chair but he'll probably get like 6 months in jail at least 6 months in jail I don't want to go to jail Cody tell them the truth I don't want to go to jail I don't know what to do well I'm not going to jail oh yes you are now turn around so I can read you your rights all right you have the right to remain silent uh let's see what else you can remain silent I know that um something about a lawyer uh yeah yeah yeah you can get a lawyer you should probably do that uh I can hold something against you too what was that my my body no no I can't do that I can't hold that against you that's illegal you look up the rights on your own you're under arrest Cody come on please tell me the truth I don't want to go to jail I don't want to get in trouble Cody be a man I don't want to go to jail hold on I have something to say okay what is it well Junior threw stuff at my face because I told him too cuz we were trying to cover up the fact that I snuck out last night to drink root beer at the park and I broke my teeth wait what oh no Cody you didn't I can't believe my Jewish ears Cody I can't believe you would sneak out the house you know what oh my God you are punished for life now now hold on I think Cody's been through enough punishment already just look at his face yeah it is pretty ugly and bru yeah your face is pretty messed up kid did you learn your lesson yeah Cody did you learn your lesson uh yeah I definitely learned my lesson I would have much rather have getting grounded than have my face messed up I will never sneak out again yay he learned his lesson so the lesson is never sneak out Cody no matter how much I try Joseph I'm bored yeah me too dude guys guys look what I got oh no Joseph you got a teddy bear wow you get a teddy bear to replace your stupid doll no no I still have Ken wow he has two of them now a doll and a teddy bear these two guys do you know what this is a teddy bear a blue one it's not just any teddy bear it's a Starbelly so what's that do well what's it do what's it do junior turn off the lights and I'll show you what it does are you going to mess with my butt no not this time okay let me turn off the lights all right Cody I turned off the lights all right guys are you ready to see into another galaxy it's just a teddy bear Cody Junior I don't think you understand would about to see not that many people have seen and survived you're about to travel across space at the speed of light no way dude yeah you're bluffing Cody guys are you ready it can't be that great Cody it's just a Cody oh my God no is it an incredible like the universe is on my ceiling it's the coolest thing ever Junior it just busted a hole through your roof we're looking into space right now that is so cool like oh my God like after that oh dud wait where's this light coming from no Joseph don't look directly my eyes my eyes we have to call a doctor to help J Junior I can't move it's too beautiful okay okay okay what we need to do is we have to kick the teddy bear off the couch okay I was traing the spell of it okay let me call a doctor it's okay jph oh God hey there somebody call a doctor yeah doctor we think my friend went blind oh how'd that happen did he look at my ugly wife no he looked inside that star belly the star belly oh my God those things are dangerous they have the power of like a thousand suns inside of them I mean like looking inside of one of those is like taking your eyeball out and throwing it directly into the sun times a thousand like like way did you even find one of those I got it on the black market oh yeah I shop there all the time for like organs for transplants and stuff well if Joseph looked inside is he blind oh yeah if he looked in there he's definitely blind well can I get a eye transplant oh yeah sure that'd be easy yeah that'll just be hold on let me figure out the price um a million billion gazillion Killion jillion bedillion zillion dollars well we only have half a kazillion billion gazillion dollars well sorry kid that's just not going to cut it have fun being blind loser well Joseph I guess you're going to be blind for the rest of haha can't see hey hey kid Hey kid guess which letter of the alphabet you can't what see he can't see you get it cuz he's blind loser who is that anyway Joseph it looks like you going be blind for the rest of your life dude I had to give my show so I can see again did someone say so ah the devil yes thank you CJ I got this wait who's that oh well it is bring your son to hell day so this is my son Craig junr but he goes by CJ yeah my name is CJ but what are you doing here oh well I heard your friend say that he would sail his soul to get his vision back well you already took his yeah you took my show when you gave me my new shell oh that's right I did oh never mind come on CJ no don't do to girl I want to stay here and play toys with my friends you you want to stay here with these losers yeah I want to play toys H okay I have a deal for you I am very busy in Hil with a lot of paperwork so if you could just watch Craig junr for a little while I will give you your friend's Vision back watch your son but I'm so busy today yeah me too guys okay fine we'll watch him great then we have a deal I'll be back in 24 hours to pick him up so I guess we're watching the devil's son dude I'll be right back I got to use the bathroom this door won't open Joseph wrong way oh okay that way thank you so CJ what do you want to do I want to start a fire where' he poof to Junior he can poof of course he can poof he's the devil's son of course knows how to poop oh he can be anyway he's going to start a fire Cinnamon Toast Crunch the taste you can see you B fire fire wait what's that smell sh B your Hat's on fire sh are you okay no I'm not okay what was that bab b b fire CJ why do you like chev's hat on fire yeah fire give me that stop doing evil stuff Junior it's the devil's son I don't know what you expect him to do Bo stuff he poofed where' he pooped to this time a where'd he pooped to Daddy I don't know Daddy oh man oh man I can't wait to watch Charlie and fris it's my favorite show ever time for Charlie who likes Charlie we like Charlie everybody where hey where you going with my TV get back [Applause] here my T why would you do that bab b b babo I'mma kill you dad what happened to your TV where did he go that little red thing threw my TV off the balcony CJ won't stop doing evil stuff Junior it's the devil's son I don't know what you want him to do oh we have to stop CJ before he breaks more stuff wait who's CJ 1,800 1900 2,000 baby I finally have enough to pay my house payment on time I'm so proud of you Mario poof yeah give me your money what hey come back here no my house play it Mar stopped off there's one at the door it's Goodman put that fire out oh hello hey Mario you called and told me that you had your house payment so I came as fast as I could so where is it I don't have it anymore how how from the time that I left my mansion and got to your house where did it go well you see like this little mini devil like grabbed the money and then he threw it in a pot of fire what are you on Mario well I'm not on anything you need to clean up and go to rehab I'm telling the truth come here look I'm telling the truth see come and look look the money's all burned why would you do that I did not do that the devil did Mario it looks like you made me money roone and cheese and you burnt it no I I did not burn the money it was an accident look look is there is there any way you can still accept the money it's still intact a little bit no Mario there's a million other things I'd rather accept than this burnt money like I'd rather have a a pimple on the inside of my butt crack and every time I wipe it just hurts a little bit just to remind me that it's still there or I'd rather have an Applebee's gift card and I don't even e at [Music] Applebee's all right here we go where'd he go Cody junior he put a sewing needle in the Nerf bullet anyone who get shot with that is going to get seriously hurt how evil we got to stop him I would rather stick my hand in a porta potty for ackel I would rather what is that what uh what oh owie I'm tired of you get him oh donkey I can't wait to dig into my nice delicious creamy cream cheesecake oh it's going to be like a chocolate soft serve when it comes out oh it's going to explode my bowels all right let's dig in oh what happened to my J oh come here you I'm going to get you sh what happened that little red booger ate all my cheesecake yeah well I don't know where he came from I'm playing with my bonon oh hey Mr red guy what doing you POA we have to stop him Cody he keeps doing a lot of evil stuff we have to stop him who's at the door uh hello hey there I got a pizza for a guy named Shrek oh don't get that's me all right let me show you what you're getting oh okay boom take a look at that oh delicious yeah I'm Uber Eats I got to show you the pizza so you know you didn't spit in it okay so how's that look oh looks delicious yeah I made that happen I'm Uber that was rude doy what did you do to my pizza oh CJ CJ you need to stop you're being too evil and hurting people yeah I never stop oh God please help us hey what do you want in playing a game right now now God yeah yeah whatever I'm playing this plague game whatever I do in the game happens in real life it's awesome well well can you please stop that and tell CJ to stop being evil fine hey hey hey CJ stop it I'm never going to stop well I've done all I can I'm going back and playing my game when's the devil coming back to pick up his son oh thank God you're here oh oh don't say that oh I'm here to pick up Craig junor how was oh he was so awful oh really he was so evil oh what did he do well first he let she's hat on fire oh and then and then he threw my dad's TV off a balcony and then he threw this guy's money into a fire oh and then he knocked this guy's cheesecake on the ground oh Craig junor is this true yes Craig junor I'm so proud of you what you're proud of him yes of course he was too good before so I'm so happy he learned how to be EV EV come on Craig junor let's go steal candy from some orphans well wait but before you leave you said you were going to give Joseph his vision back oh yeah right the your eyes are fixed now oh I can see you again yeah all right guys now that we all can see again well all Joseph can see again what do you want to do now oh I know what we're going to do now get the lights Junior okay all right guys are you ready to go back to space y all right wao oh oh my God it's so amazing all right Mommy I made you a Krabby Patty oo it looks delicious Jeffy thank you eat it okay no actually put it in your mouth and chew it and swallow it but Jeffy it's Play-Doh you eat it okay uh Jeffy look that way delicious good I'll make you three more baby you don't actually have to eat it I know Marvin but I don't want to hurt his feelings what's wrong Jeffy nothing look Marvin the news is [Music] on breaking news okay Tom Brady seven time Super Bowl champion is getting divorced by his wife I have an exclusive interview with him now let's go to that okay I'm here with Tom Brady wow you're tall you want to be one of my defensive linemen no Tom I don't want to be part of your football team but how are you taking the divorce divorce I'm getting divorced yes your wife filed for divorce this morning oh that sucks I guess well do I still get to play football yes oh good that's all I care about well how are your kids taking the divorce kids I have kids yes Tom you have three oh well the only three things I know is I lost three Super Bowls it makes me sad well do you even remember the names of your three kids oh I'm no good with names oh let's see one of them's got to be Tom Brady Jr and then I think one of them's grank and then Patrick sounds familiar oh look a football football I like football uh Tom Tom we're in the middle of an interview here pass me football Tom come on stop stop it Tom hey we're talking about your kids here oh yeah my kids wait who got custody it's split between you and your wife 50/50 oh well as long as I don't have to see him on Mondays Thursdays or Sundays or days when I have practice actually she should probably just hold on to him for a while well now that you're divorced Tom how much longer are you going to play football well I don't have a reason to quit now so I'm just going to keep playing till I'm dead oh is that a football well you heard it here first folks Tom Brady is distraught after the divorce Tom Brady's getting a divorce that's so sad I guess it goes to show that money can't buy you happiness you know what money can't by you a big inflatable Pony with light up nipples Jeffy talking old disco tits hey guys have you seen my spatula right here scrambling up some eggs oh God now I can't use it shfp did you hear that Tom Brady got a divorce what Tom Brady Mr goat himself Mr B yeah he got a divorce that means it's finally my chance your chance for what my chance to marry him stupid and be his number one wide receiver no he would marry me instead of you but Marvin you're already married to me yeah you're taken he's not going to choose you well no no I want to be married to Tom Brady instead of you he's the goat he has seven rings and I want to be one more ring on his finger Marvin yeah you're ball he's not going to choose you Marvin he's going to choose me cuz I got a huge Caboose and I can throw it in a circle yeah let let me throw your ass in a circle I can throw mine in a circle better no look at my ass clap stupid he wants to hear mine clap nuh look at my ass clap no mine claps louder like the 70,000 people that clap for his ass in the Super Bowl no no it doesn't look at me out both of you baby does mine clap no Marvin you look ridiculous oh look Tom br's going to choose me to be wife instead of you no he's not he's going to choose me watch this guys all right Junior you want to see me lift this weight you can't lift that weight yeah I can Junior I can lift it like 10 times see I'm lifting it okay what you dropped it no I didn't drop it I I end up my pants and my giant Wang fell out and hit the table that's what you heard no you dropped the weight no it's my monster Wang junior junor junior serious question how hi am I scale one through 10 well you're hotter as a guy thank you but I need a rating as a woman Chef peee why you dress like a girl no I'm not Chef Pee I'm Serena the hot Latina goddess with a huge dumpy beep beep beep okay but why are you really dressed like a girl oh because Tom Brady is single and I got to go snatch that up before some other ho does H wait Tom Brady single oh I got to get in on this well Cody you can't date Tom Brady you're a kid hey I've seen the video okay he kisses his son on the mouth and we're about the same age do I have just as good of a chance as anyone else but Cody mommy where's Daddy I don't know Jeffy okay guys how do I look Marvin what is going on with you I shaved off my mustache and put a wig on Daddy did did you tuck your wiener in your butt I sure did Jeffy Jesus Marvin what is happening well did you hear that Tom Brady's going on the show The Bachelor and he's going to choose one lucky woman to be his wife Marvin I don't know how to tell you this but you're not hot enough sure I am if looks could kill it would kill a boner I'm calling a doctor so he can mentally check you out and to get your Wier removed yeah baby I need that to happen halia somebody call a doctor yes doctor fix my husband he's broken my Daddy's got his Wier in his butt hey there beautiful what's your name oh dear God god well I haven't chose my woman name yet wait what that's Marvin my husband he's dressed like a woman hey don't judge that's normal now well I was thinking my name could be Margie ew no or Maggie no I don't like that either or Marissa I guess that's kind of hot can you just tell me what's wrong with him why you dress like a woman well Tom BR is getting a divorce and he's going on The Bachelor to find a new wife now wait a minute you're telling me the goat is getting divorced and he's looking for a new wife and that could be me oh dear God not you two hey I always told my wife if I could be with another man it would be with Tom Brady and now I finally have my chance well you better back off cuz he doesn't want to be with you he wants to be with me you really think he's going to be with you instead of me he doesn't want to be with either one of you guys he wants to be with a supermodel girlfriend yeah well look how that worked out she's divorcing him yeah Tom Brady should just lower his standards a little bit like maybe like a middle-aged Man In A Wig you know men know what Tom Brady wants and that's to play football I'll St him with the kids I don't give a [ __ ] I mean he can just play until he's 80 I don't care just never come home just keep winning you know telling the goat not to play football is like telling a plane not to fly or telling a boat not to swim or not swim boats don't swim what the hell boats do like float yeah telling a boat not to float I want to root me a float I'm getting distracted look Tom Brady's going to be mine no he's not going to be yours he's going to be mine he's going to pick me over you okay well I'll show you I'll show all of you yeah we'll see about that I look hot you're watching The Bachelor hello and welcome to the bachelor today's Bachelor is Buccaneers quarterback Tom Brady hi I'm Tom Brady I've won seven Super Bowls he sure has so now let's meet the eligible bachelorettes first up we have Marissa hi Tom I love you next we have Brook oh my God is that Tom Brady is that the goat look how close I am to the goat I'm in the same room as the goat then we have Carly hey Tom your ass looks real nice in them pants a final Bachelorette is Serena hey Tom o let me deflate them bom baby oh yeah come on I'll do it you're not a cheater not in my eyes okay Tom you're going to go on a date with each of these four women well look at there there's four of them just like the four quarters of a football game oh okay Tom I'm going to need you to focus you're going to take all these women on a date and then you're going to decide which one of them you want to marry okay let the dates begin I'm a little nervous so uh tell me about yourself oh me uh well uh Tom I'll be I'll be honest with you I'm a dude I'm just like a whole ass dude you see the mustache but I mean I'll be honest I wasn't going to win this competition anyway I mean have you seen the other women they are smoking hot no I didn't stand a chance but uh I mean while I have you here I I I I've always wanted to meet you so like could you please sign my jersey I mean I know you don't play for them anymore but it's the only one I got so I'd really appreciate it if you could just just sign that uh to to my biggest fan no my my my my best friend Brooklyn te guy from the MF and goat but like actually right out the words [ __ ] goat Tom Brady and then uh just write your phone number cuz I mean I might not win this competition but I still want to like hang out and be friends and I want to show my friends at the bar like hey I I hang out with Tom Brady we're friends so if you could just do that for me that would be great thank you so much Tom this this means a lot to me hey don't ever retire okay just keep playing football till you die all right just just promise me that okay oh man I I mean hey if you still want to marry me after this I I'll do it I mean no homo but like I'll do whatever you want okay so just keep that in mind okay thank you thank you so much Tom how do I think the date went I'd it went pretty [ __ ] good who do you know that has a personalized sign Tom Brady Jersey yeah no I think the date went pretty well how do I think the date went well I think it went pretty good you know Brooke is pretty interesting she was fan Girling a lot had me sign a few autographs she had a mustache but you know I I think it's pretty nice to have a woman who supports my football career haven't had that in a while hey Tom getting the hot tub it's nice and warm I peed in it for you yeah that's right hey Tom you want to see how long I can hold my breath underwater take your pants off how would I say the date went well I went snorkeling for Chad and came up empty so I'd say that's a thumbs down Carly's weird this is a lovely dinner Serena thanks Tom I made it just for you your favorite Avocado Burger oh look at there there is an avocado mhm I read it in your book the tb12 method oh my God look at you on the cover you sexy [ __ ] you oh I fondle myself to it every day thank you would you like some confetti with your burger you know winners love confetti I do love confetti and I've won seven Super Bowls yes you did you deserve to celebrate wo there you go you know what Tom I want to show you what a real woman can do can I show you huh huh that's a candle it is a candle imagine it as your candle I don't have any candles my wife took him in the divorce damn it Tom love me okay I don't think I'm hungry anymore oh playing hard to get oh you sexy bastard how do I think the date went oh he digs me I made the man dinner okay you know what they say a way to a man's heart is through a stomach I'm going through the penis Serena came off as a little desperate but I like that she read my book and she knows I like avocados and she's got a fat dumpy wait wait wait what did he say about my dumpy yeah yeah that's right that's right everybody can get a piece it's super fat everybody want this dumpy okay Tom I thought the best date for us to go on is go to the movies so I just sit here yeah you just sit there and watch the movie and relax well I don't know what relax means it means you just sit there and do nothing and watch the movie but when do I play football you don't play football oh well I haven't been to a movie in years the only movies I've ever seen are The Blind Side and Remember the Titans and the longest yard and the remake of The Longest Yard with Adam Sandler and the water boy with Adam Sandler and airbud but the football one well this movie has nothing to do with football oh it doesn't where you going how do I think the date went well um I don't think he likes sitting down for too long or relaxing I think he just wants to play football is Marissa a man cuzz she kind of looks like a man in a wig well Tom you just went on four wonderful dates so now it's time for you to choose one of these women to give one of your Super Bowl rings to no pick me please Tom pick me breed please pick me please so Tom who's it going to be uh please Tom please pick me pick me Tom pick me please Daddy please pick me uh I choose football I love you Football let's run away together huh I didn't know that could happen sorry ladies better luck next time yeah choosing football that's the goat yeah that's why he's the goat what you choose football over this dumper come on you're lost Tom well I tried well don't I look like a fool I shave my mustache for no reason well how do you feel now that you embarrassed your entire family on National Television Marvin it was on TV yes Marvin the whole world saw you you dress up like a woman to try to marry Tom Brady and where did it get you back at home with your wife why'd he tell you no Daddy did your winner come untucked from your butt I'm sorry everyone I guess I just have to realize that I'm stuck with my normal stupid life gee thanks Marvin what the hell was that oh look Danny it came unstuck from the ceiling now all right guys you ready to play superheroes oh yeah dude but I'm the joker I'm Batman I want to be Batman no Cody I'm always Batman you have to be someone else be Robin I don't want to be stupid stinky ugly dumb Robin okay well then go choose someone but you can't be Batman oh oh Junior you have another Batman we can both be Batman we both can't be Batman Cody there's only one Batman yeah that's against the rules dude you have against the rules yeah we can look hey Batman it's me other Batman no you're one of those dumb Batman that work on Time Square what okay Cody look we can both be Batman but you're the uh you're the Ben Affleck Batman I'm Christian Bale well I don't want to be Ben Affleck Batman he was fat okay well then don't be Batman at all go be Mexican Superman but Junior you always make me be Mexican Superman Mexican Superman's the coolest yeah Mexican Superman's awesome dude he always saved the day right in time to make it to his daughter's kinera yeah he's so awesome all right let's get this over with okay hey I'm the bad guy Joker you can't beat meting Batman oh you don't understand who I have as my secret weapon who come on say your thing so Mexican Superman oh no not Mexican Superman with Batman my two ARS Nemesis I'm outnumbered yes and you don't understand what he has up his sleeve say it hot plate not a hot plate oh no that's my weakness yeah now hit him with the Baja Blast e oh Baja Blast oh I'm melting I'm melting and now you better get out of here before he gets the gordito crunch oh not the gordito crunch yay we saved the day all right you want to watch TV or something oh yeah all right let's watch TV hey hey there have you ever wondered if you were related to someone famous well now you can find out just call me at 1 1800 famous DNA testers.com and I'll personally come to your house and tell you who you're related to you might even be related to Jeff Bezos maybe he owes you some money maybe maybe you're like a long lost kid of his or something come find out oh guys guys guys I want to get DNA tested I want to see what famous person I'm related to I don't know Junior that place looks like a scam yeah I want to get tested too I bet I'm related to Abraham Lincoln oh that'd be so cool I know right I bet I'm related to George Washington Carver oo who's that the guy who invented peanut butter duh oh why would you be related to him cuz he's smoothing in peanut butter duh yeah Cody who do you think you're related to a dork Dr dork yeah yeah a Robert E dork Professor dork with a degree yeah uliss s dork Captain dork with the ship yeah yeah Elon Musk musky dork dork dorky dorky yeah I dorky My Life as a Teenage dork B it just TV show dork and Jos I dorky oh man dorky dorks imaginary home for dorks yeah uh uh what's it called um cat dork South dork South dork uh family dork uh a cinnamon toast dork Rick and dorky dorks a bunch of oh um I got one this this the Dork life of of Zack and dorky on Deck oh D okay I will get DNA tested just so I can prove I'm not a dork oh yeah call a doctor so we get DNA tested dor hey there somebody call a doctor to get DNA tested yeah we saw the commercial and we want to do the test to see who we're related to oh it's really fun you never know who you'll be related to like I did it and my great grandmother was Amelia Airhart really yeah yeah it explains why I'm so good at hide-and seek and so bad at flying planes so so how do we do it well you see these DNA sample tubes yeah well you just take some bodily fluid and put it in the tube okay so like I can spit in it yeah sure or whatever else it doesn't really matter ooh can I poop in it yeah sure why not yes oh I know what I'm putting in there all right so after we put the stuff in there then what happens I just run it back to the lab then I'll have your results by the next scene okay I'm going spit in mine T oh man guys I can't wait for our test results to be ready all right your test results are ready they're ready are they cool oh they're cool all right Cody we're going to start with you the most famous person you're related to is Thomas Edison whoa no way dude that's so sick who am I related to you you're related to Neil Armstrong Neil Armstrong the first man on the moon I knew I knew a lot about space wa an astronaut dude I it's so cool okay Joseph you're related Luther key oh man I always knew I had a dream I dream every night no no not quite but close osbor dorsy who's that he's the inventor of the doorknob oh okay yeah yeah I'm always good with you know turning door knobs yep you have fun with that information oh this is so cool all right guys can we just admit that I'm related to the coolest person ever Neil freaking Armstrong no Edison is cooler because he invented the light bulb without him we'd be in the dark right now no because if Edison would invented it somebody else would have invented the light bulb dude the only way you would have been able to get inside your house today is because of my boy dorsy well no cuz in Walmart invented those automatic doors what yes you don't even need door knobs we don't even need him see see see see Neil Armstrong he discovered the moon he didn't discover the moon junior he just went there yeah and they say the first person to go on land discovered that land so he was the first person on the moon so he discovered the moon and he got there with this cool spaceship he flew there landed he got out and then he danced on the moon dude he wouldn't be able to get out of his spaceship without a door knob well he wouldn't be able to see the doorknob without a light bulb well he he wouldn't have been able to go to the Moon if you would have discover the moon in the first place dude you use doorage for anything no no you use light bulbs more cuz you use them every day oh have you ever heard of a candle well the moon lights up the sky at night so so cuz without the Moon it would uh it would be it would be dark yeah without light boom no it's out the moon we look you wouldn't even know it was night time until you opened the door knock well no no no you would you wouldn't know well actually there's Windows see Bill Gates invented windows so you could look out the window so we don't even need the door knob who cares but without door knss we wouldn't even have knock knock jokes H that's better well without light bulbs you wouldn't even be able to see who's at the door to answer it well without without the moon you wouldn't know it was night time so you know not the answer the door because not scary people come at night or fans who don't know the rules so so so that yeah and see without the moon we wouldn't have waves and without waves we wouldn't have ships that would bring you materials to make your stupid light bulbs and to make your stupid doorknobs so so actually you know what Cody I'm suing you why I'm suing you because Thomas Edison got the idea for a light bulb by looking at the moon cuz he went outside and he said o I like that little light in the sky I want to make one for my own so he made a light bulb based on the moon so I'm suing you yeah I'm suing you too Cody cuz there's no way Mr Edison could make his light bul without open a door from Mr dorsy yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah see see see so Cody you owe Joseph well actually Joseph you owe Cody money because because without the light bulb dorsy wouldn't have been able to make a door knob without white n n n n we had candles bro we had candles oh yeah had candles okay so so Cody yeah you owe both of us money well I'm not giving either of you money well we don't need your stupid dumb light bulbs Cody well okay I'll just take away all the light bulbs in your house and see how you like it we don't need them cuz we have the moon to light up everything nobody's going to need door knobs then yeah we don't need that either because I just have a door I can just push the door open I don't need a door knob that's dumb I I like Walmart automatic doors lazy yeah you know what I'm going take the Moon away and then what were you going to do when y'all can't see at night oh man this is such a a huge mess it's going to take forever to clean up wait what happened to the lights oh it must have been a power outage hey Chef Pei wait Cody what are you doing uh do you know if there any more light bulbs in the house wait wait wait why are you stealing our light bulbs oh I'm not stealing these I own these my great great grandfather was Thomas Edison look I don't care who your great-grandfather is put my light bulbs back tell that to Junior he thinks Thomas Edison didn't do anything what look put my light bus back and done I just finished my Apollo 11 Lego closure so I'm just like my great great grandfather Neil Armstrong what what happened to the light hey Junior what are you doing here Cody well I'm just collecting all of my light bulbs that my great great grandfather invented wait you stole my light bulbs oh I'm not stealing them since my great great grandfather invented them they're mine well well I was building my Apollo 11 Lego sculpture see look there's me and there's my great grandfather Neil Armstrong see see um I didn't see any light bulbs on the Apollo 11 yeah that's great well I'm going to just take all of these light bulbs back to my house where I'll have all the light well well when you're walking home guess what's going to help you light up the streets when you get home uh the moon well there are also street lights and guess what's in those street lights light bulbs well well you're dumb and and stupid Joseph get out of my way uhh where do you think you're going home home where through this door you know you got to use this circular thing what's it called again a door knob can I please use the door knob I guess so for $1,000 and if you praise my great Granddad dorsy well I don't have $1,000 well get an appra Cody bring me back my light bulbs oh now you want them I thought they were useless well they are useless but I bought them so they're technically mine now look at that I forgot one hold on Cody don't don't grab that don't do it a come on Cody that's better well at least you can't get through this door oh yeah okay Junior I'm going out your window peasant so where you going now Cody I'm going home well the whole walk home you better not ever look up if you ever look up at the Moon you owe me $100 okay fine I don't want to look at the Moon I've seen it before you better not ever look up don't look up I'm not don't look up Junior I'm not looking at the moon you better not look up Junior you going to follow me all the way home yeah cuz I don't want you to look up at the Moon because that's my moon that's my great-grandfather's moon you can't look at it if you look at it you owe me $100 I'm not going to look at it don't look at it don't look at oh my God Cody like if there was a time to look at it you should look at it now it's the most beautiful full moon in the world right now oh oh Cody look there's a man on the moon Junior there's no man on the moon there was my great grandfather Neil Armstrong he was on the moon that was the man on the moon the only man on the moon and that's why I own the moon and you been not look at it or you ow me $100 Junior shut up it's the most beautiful moon in the world like if you want to look at it you can pay me $100 I don't care Junior like this walk home would be so boring if you didn't have the moon right there that big beautiful moon brighten up the streets Junior I'm not looking at it but you better not look at it you better not look at it I'm not going to look at it are you sure so pretty okay I'll let you look at it one time no I'll let free for free you can look at it one time no I don't even want to now look at it for free like one time shut up Junior go away Junior you broke all my light bulbs well they technically weren't light bulbs they were mine cuz I bought them Junior you owe me so much money now no I don't just because he invented them doesn't mean that I don't owne them if I buy them like I'll sell you a piece of the Moon how about that no Junior I don't care I don't want to see you right now well I I'll sell you one piece of the Moon if you stop getting mad God I can't stand Junior what do you think you're going Cody in my house oh in your house don't you think you have to use a door knob well yeah but Joseph this is ridiculous this is my house but this is my doorknob a dorsy doorknob okay fine I guess I'll use a window hey get to climbing guess I'm just going to sit on my couch with no light well you know what I do have light I have the moon and it's just the the roof is blocking the moon but I don't need stupid dumb light bulbs are dumb hey uh wait why is it so dark in here oh my friend's great great grandfather was uh uh the inventor of light bulbs so he took all my light bulbs oh yeah about that I have an important update about your DNA test results uh can you get your friends back here I can try but they're really mad at me yeah uh just so you know there's also a guy who's over by your front door charging people $1,000 to use his door knob that's Joseph Joseph get up here get Cody what is it Junior the doctor says he has to tell us something what do you want dude Cody can we please have a light bulb just while you're here okay but you only get one all right doctor what do you have to tell us well uh it looks like the test results I gave you before were wrong wrong wait I'm not related Neil Armstrong no Cody's not Rel related to Thomas Edison nope Joseph is not related to dorsy no well then who are we related to well I got your real test results right here let's start with Joseph you are related to Michelangelo oh dude that's awesome I always wanted to be a ninja turtle and I already lived in sewers yeah and Junior you are related to crush from Finding Nemo I mean that's still pretty cool like what's up jelly man what's up jelly man jelly man jelly man and you Cody are related to ver from Over the Hedge Over the Hedge I hope you haven't seen that movie yeah you guys you guys have fun with that information all right guys do we even have to discuss who's related to the cooler Turtle dude it's me I'm a ninja no it's me he rode the East Australian current no one else did that well I went over the hedge went over the head ver ver what Tye a name is ver Joseph I'm bored me too dude let's play a board game O Let's Play mous trap okay that's not mouse trap dude it is it's a mouse trap how do you play ooh just touch the yellow pce I'm good well you're such a whmp dude watch this I love the pain guys guys guys look what I hold on Cody his leg got stuck in a mouse trap ow how did that happen we were playing mous trap you want to play I'm good but I invented a dream machine a dream machine what's it do it lets you go of people's dreams while they're sleeping nuh liar yeah huh it does well then how's it work well you just put this black part on the head of whoever is sleeping and then you put another one on your head and it lets you go inside their dreams well what if you get stuck in their dream well all you'd have to do is just slap whoever's dream it is so if you're in my dream you'd slap me so I slap you yeah ow what no you SLA me in the dream okay so when we go in your dream we slap you no you slap whoever's dream it is so I slap you no it's the person whose dream you have you're in so if I'm in your dream I slap you but yes but now no no no look if I was in your dream I would slap you to wake up but we're in your dream no out would not in my dream right now okay but when do we slap you I want to slap Cody okay slap no it's not about slapping stop stop slapping me you said slap you I said slap me in the dream if it's my dream but we're not in my dream right now okay so whose dream are we going to first I think we should go into Joseph's dream so we slap Joseph and Joseph's dream yes well my dream is not going to be too fun guys okay let's go inside Joseph's dream set him up with your machine okay all right we're all set up so whenever Joseph falls asleep we'll go inside his dream oh dude I'm so ready okay Ken if for any reason we don't wake up within an hour push this emergency stop button okay why would that happen well I don't know maybe if the dream just goes really bad why aren't we supposed to slap you if it goes bad well no we're supposed to ow no we're supposed to slap Joseph because we're in Joseph's dream so if the dream goes bad we slap Joseph not Cody Joseph okay Joseph wait my little thing fell off well maybe if you weren't slapping me that wouldn't happen Okay Joseph go to sleep well it's pretty hard for me to go to sleep wow he fell asleep fast uh Cody where are we it's so dark and scary Joseph must be having a nightmare where is Joseph oh oh there he is Oh Daddy I miss you so much Dad oh I wish you were here with me right now he's having a dream about his dead dad that's so sad Mommy what Mommy where are you Mommy what Mommy Mommy where are you Joseph mommy where are you I hear you where are you mommy come here mommy please please mommy don't leave me Cody he's chasing his mom if that was you and your mom you would have already caught her you know cuz she's a hippo and she can't run fastor shut up mommy where are you going mommy J mommy please come back please please Mommy Mommy where did you go Mommy is that a killer clown I hate to have dreams like him Junior let's wake him up oh okay they God you guys are here there's a killer clown trying to kill me that's why we're going to wake you up do it again Joseph what was that oh dude I dream that every night Joseph those are called nightmares wait there's dreams that are actually happy well yeah do you want to see one you can come to my dream yeah dude sure okay I just have to go to sleep uh does anyone have some warm milky or a Banky what I can't go to sleep without my Banky Cody go to sleep okay can somebody at least rub my tummy lower I'm not going lower okay fine I'll go to sleep so we slap you if we want to wake up yes what is this place dude I feel uncomfortable hey guys welcome to my dream this is what you dream about Cody yeah it's just one big party hold on let me introduce you to the boys that over there is Scot Tom Hussein this is balls Aldren that's Rick and this is Luke get your ass out of the guacamole probably tastes better now to be honest hey you guys should help yourself to some chips they're just kind of scattered around everywhere wait wait what oh you need me to get up okay who's that oh that's Todd he's a freaking nature why does he have a gas mask on so he can breathe where's Ken oh he's up there keeping an eye out to make sure that nobody escapes why would somebody want to escape it's your dream well it's hotter for me if they don't want to be here dude I'm ready to leave right now yeah Cody we want to leave really so soon but we haven't even had the who has the Titus buns competition yet don't tell Ken but it's Rick see well we want to leave Cody okay just let me finish my red bolt hey anybody want the rest of this before I [ __ ] can it no all right all right we want to go okay I guess we can oh no what Here Comes action man what who's Action Man his real name is Zach but he thinks he's hot [ __ ] and to be honest he kind of is he has bulletproof underwear what do you want Zach bro come on you're always doing this you're ruining my vibe who invited him you know what you guys are right we should just leave wake me up okay wake up Cody I can't believe you guys didn't like my dream I like my dreams more I can't agree ow we're out of the dream I just like slapping you all right guys let's go inside my dream next sometimes I dream I'm a dinosaur like that okay go to sleep J okay wait dude we're in the classroom wait why am I so cool this isn't that different from my dream oh no guys I had this nightmare all the time is that I'm fat I'm at school in my underwear and everyone won't stop making fun of me haha Junior you're so fat see guys and also Cody you're the coolest kid in school well that's not that different from real life no it's a nightmare guys wake me up no I just want to see how this plays out all right class today we're going to be running about why is Junior so fat he is fat as [ __ ] cuz he won't stop eating come on crass let's rap at Junior cuz he's so fat guys wake me up hey we all laughing at the fat kid now what did I say about being so fat guys wake me up you know it's actually illegal for you to be that fat fatty oh guys you know what you're actually under arrest for being so unbelievably fat guys it's a nightmare yeah Cody being the coolest kid in school is a nightmare guys that was not my dinosaur dream that was cool I like that dream I didn't like it Cody ow okay look I'm going to go back to sleep so I can try to get the dinosaur dream hey guys what doing oh we should go inside jeffy's dream hey Jeffy put that white thing on your head okay now go to sleep guys we're animals dude I'm a cow I'm a lion yeah well you don't tell the truth huh like Lion all right screw you guys that was a good one H Cody you're a pig so you're just like my mom I know I'm like my mom I get it cuz my mom is all fat animals right so Joseph's like my mom too cuz he's a cow so my mom's a cow and a pig and a hippo and an elephant I get it she's fat wow Cody you're really going to call your mom fat dude she gave birth to you yeah she carried you for 9 months just for you to call her fat what you guys were going to say it I would never disrespect your mom you get it Joseph I'm lying dude that's a nice one but that was my joke no it was my joke I just thought of it oh dude watch this eat more chicken it's like the Chick-fil-A slogan the slogan thing they said get it you get it Cody guys I just want to get out of this stupid dream okay then wake Jeffy up well we can't we have to slap Jeffy that's the only way to get out of the dream all right let's go slap him Marvin let's watch a movie hand me the remote okay baby you're so slow baby you're the one who married me you knew I was a turtle you knew I was going to be slow I don't bring up your quck addiction hey don't bring that up hey mommy hey Daddy I got she spion from school today Jeffy why'd you get suspended Jeffy cuz I was dragging my balls across my desk Jeffy you're grounded well duck you mommy but Jeffy don't speak to her like that you're going to your dungeon for 50 years a I hate my dungeon but I'm hungry Daddy what do you want for dinner I want wings well you got two Wings on your back cuz you're a dragon go to your dungeon okay Daddy oh hey Jeffy oh hey guys you likeing my dream well sorry we got to do this to you but we got to wake you up guys I had the weirdest dream now I was a hippo well we went through everyone's Dreams yeah wait wait guys Chef pee's taking a nap downstairs we should try to go inside his dream yeah okay let's [Music] go all right guys there's chpe hey do you guys think he dreams about me like he's secretly in love with me and he dreams about me all the time no let's find out what guys where in my kitchen oh man oh man I got to hurry up with this burger Lord Peep's going to be mad is my food ready yet oh yes I'm almost done with dinner Lord bee hold on hold on it's the food ready Jesus age Christ I need to hurry up where is my burger girl it's right here it's right here sir oh let me see a piece of bacon not on my burger what's wrong with you I know you see that I know you see it my bad it must have fell out I'm so sorry sir H oh you're bad huh you're making mistakes now I'm not eating it you pass it make me another one right him all I do is cook and clean and I'm never appreciated wow Chef pee's really mean in his Dreams yeah why is it being mean to my dad let's go Mess With Chef peee okay ah finally get the rest of my Royal Throne of cash hey baby what's my name don't say anything it's Lord peep I don't even want to look in your direction but show me them toes hey Chef peipi Junior what are you doing here I sentence you and your friends to 50 years of hard labor well we escaped Royal Guard yes Lord peep these three Escape take them back to the word Camp all right you guys are coming with me sh you're so dumb uhuh execute that one but execute me oh no Junior if you die in the dream you die in real life well I die in real life slap slap them how dare you try to assault me execute them all Cody slap them slap them I I C's too fast Lord peep you you have a fly on your face what a fly on my face I don't see anything it's right there it's right on your nose though wait wait is a fly on my face is there a fly on my face I don't see it's going to B you get the D fly on my face get the D fly on my face you really want me to hear you get on my face Junior why did you guys ruin my dream Chef peee I'm really upset that I wasn't your hunky little a man's servant yeah Chef peip you treat people really mean in your dream because it's my dream I get to live it how I want to well I don't want to be a part of that hey Chef peipi keep that thing on your head I'm going to go to sleep and then you're going to go somewhere really cool what huh where am I hey Chef Pee welcome to the party help yourself to some guac or maybe if you stick around long enough you can have something that rhymes with that ew no Cody I'm leaving ow come on Zach you always do all right crass today you're going to come up here and and say your ABCs in front of the crass what say your ABCs that's so easy yeah I know right I know it seems easy but I just want to see if any of the students in the class are stupid because if you're stupid and you don't know how to say your ABCs then you need to get out of my classroom well I'm definitely going to get a on this who doesn't know their ABCs yeah you got to be stupid not to know your ABCs now who should go first H oh buor you come up here and say your ABC is in front of the crass what me yes you borry do you not know your ABCs are you stupid what what no no of course I know my ABCs I I know those then use your two Rigs and walk up to the board and say your ABCs you so stupid okay I'm coming jeez all right say your ABCs okay yeah yeah I got this okay here we go Junior you forgot your lunchbox only available at SML merch.com hey you sit down and stop interrupting my Clash oh I'm not a student I'm just here to draw this lunch boox off sit down okay thank God all right Junior I brought you your lunch box thanks sheipi okay so what's going on here oh we have to say our ABC's in front of the class oh that's easy I know right okay Bor say your ABCs yeah yeah okay it's just him busting it in the class like that really distracted me so I forgot say okay okay um a okay uh hey don't cheat B mhm uh oh hey what's that over there where hey C it was C uh uh s Wrong oh my God look at this idiot he doesn't know his ABCs oh I can't believe this is your parent stupid oh you don't even even have half of a brain cell if you don't know your ABCs oh my God his brain is basically a fart a leral fart hey hey you better shut your mouth before I shut it for you okay dummy go back to your desk and tonight for your homework you have to learn your ABCs and then we'll try this again tomorrow hey hey tell him to stop laughing at me he can laugh at you because you're stupid and you don't know your ABCs hey hey dummy hey hey hey if you keep laughing at me I'm going to knock you out what you knock me out you can barely even say your ABCs I doubt you can knock me out okay okay you know what I'm going to come to your house later and then we're going to fight there so I don't get in trouble at school you want to fight me you're not going to come to my house you believe that Junior all right see you later okay I'm not even going to go back to my Des I'm just going to go home sh you're going to fight the bully no I'm not going to fight a a dummy he's not even going to show up Junior right I think he's going to show up no no no he's not all right crash crash is over everyone got to get ready for the fight tonight at Junior's house you're going to be a good one make sure you bring some popcorn and uh I got money on buy hey sh are you ready for your fight tonight Junior there's not going to be a fight okay look the kid was just mad it was in the moment he's probably playing fortnite or something whatever kids do these days I'm pretty sure he thinks there's going to be a fight tonight there's not going to be a fight Junior that might be him at the door no it's not it's probably the the pizza man or something did you order pizza no well I'm going to go see who it is hello hey Junior we're here for the fight yeah going to be a good one I want to she blood I brought flaming hot popcorn cuz I'm flaming and I'm hot uh well I'm not sure there's going to be a fight tonight oh there's going to be a fight yeah there better be a fight cuz I already bought tickets tickets yeah they're selling tickets um okay just come wait in the living room I guess okay uh shfp there's a crowd at the door waiting for the fight tonight well they're going to be disappointed cuz it's not going to be a fight tonight the kid's not going to show up well what if the kid does show up well I'm a that you know it's me it's PP he don't want any action I'm about that action it's me he don't want to smoke with PE PE uh what if that's him it's not him he doesn't even know where we live let me go see I hope it's not him God please don't let it be him hello hey I'm here for the fight oh well are you sure you still want to fight oh yeah definitely I'm going to break his face oh well there's already a crowd here waiting for the fight oh good good I want people to see what I do to him which which it be break his face oh okay so you're that mad still oh yeah yeah okay come inside uh shfp Bully's at the door he is oh no I mean his funeral if he want to die today he can so want to get the casket ready for that kid wait wait did he ask you for me to cancel the fight no he said he's going to break your face wa no not my face not my beautiful face oh no I'm just kidding uh he's not even going to touch me Junior I'm going knock him out with one hit you you knock him out yeah yeah yeah yeah knock him out SHP mhm oh oh dang Junior I just remembered I can't fight him why you're scared no no I'm not scared look look uh I just promised my dead mom yeah yeah I would never fight again what you promised your dead mom you'd never fight again mhm on her death bed I said your mom's calling wait wait she oh she is oh it's a miracle thank you Jesus thank you Jesus my mama is alive so that means you can fight uh yeah Junior yeah okay come to the living room we can watch the fight God Mom why can't you be dead oh I don't want the come on fight I don't want to fight all right guys are you ready to fight oh yeah I'm ready to fight this dork ha we got a dork in the building he don't want no smoke oh I got hands for you boy I got hands for you I'm going to break your face you wish you could break my face these hands going to be too fast they going to be too fast you know what let me talk to you real quick real quick all right look look look I don't want to fight you come on look I'm a real nice guy I I could cook for you on a chef you know what no no no no no stop trying to back out of the fight we're going to fight what no nobody's backing out of no fight all right look I've been wanting to fight you nobody's backing out I'm a backhand that's what I said yeah yeah for real though I am trying to back out the fight I'm backing out right now I want to make this clear I don't want to fight you at all okay okay no no we're going to fight no no I know we're going to fight oh I I just want to fight you right now I'm done talking I'm done talking I'm just fighting with my hands I'm going to let my hands do the talking yeah yeah yeah all right I really I really don't want to fight okay okay please please we can go out and eat no we're going to fight that's what's going to happen oh I'm ready to fight look look I'm pulling my hand back I'm pulling my hand back but first first I need to go to the bathroom cuz I can't fight on a full bladder all right guys Chef will be right back has to use the bathroom oh God oh God I don't want to fight him oh no what am I going to do you know what I'mma call him I'mma call him and tell him I'm sick that's what I'm going to do he doesn't want to fight a sick person hold on I'm getting a call hello uh hey buddy it's me Chef peipi look look I'm throwing up everywhere I'm sick you don't want to fight a sick person right uh how about we um just we go out for dinner on me how about that buddy listen Chef B we're not canceling the fight we're going to fight tonight oh oh you boy you took the words out of my mouth oh I'm ready to fight ooh I'm coming out with my hands swinging put me on the speaker I want my friends to hear us look I'm coming out with my hands swinging I'm ready to fight my hands faster than bullets you better better to be ready Son bro jit you hear me all right bro you ready for this smoke bro this man right here calling me in the bathroom trying to cancel the fight no no no actually you called me oh wow wow wow can you believe this this guy want to lie lie in front of all my friends o I got my Knuckles ready I'm ready for the smoke you want to know why they call me the chef cuz I give you what you order and I heard you ordered the knuckle sandwich but you know what you know what I'm going to give you one last chance to cancel all right if you don't want to fight you better say something now no I want to fight you you just said the words all right all right get ready get ready who Could That Be I wonder who could it who who could it be oh hello hey it's the cops oh thank God you're here you just saved my life yeah I heard there was a fight going on here yes yes hurry up come inside okay oh wow guys some coward called the cops so it looks like we're not going to fight tonight well I'm not here to break up the fight I'm I'm here to watch what yeah yeah I bought tickets from some guy outside well you you can't let me fight a third grader sure I can if I bought tickets I can I'm going to go get some popcorn yay the fight is on fight fight fight oh no all right Chef PP stop trying to back out of the fight calling the cops didn't work what what me call the cops cuz I'm afraid to fight you a third grader no I wouldn't call the cops come on I'm ready to fight okay let's fight then all right all right stop yapping and let's get theop claing what you going to do punk what you going to do huh huh you ain't going to do nothing morning sleepy head what what happened you got knocked out by a third grader oh did I win the fight no no you get knocked out by a third grader like we said well did I at least punch him nope he dropped you in one punch well I would like to press charges cuz he assaulted me yeah you can't actually do that see it was a paid fight like for television what television yeah it was on pay-per-view the whole world saw it so so everybody knows I'm a whip yeah yeah they were taking bets in Vegas and literally no one lost a Chey don't cry because you're a wimp juliia be straight with me how many people saw it saw what you get punched by a third grader yes the whole world Millions it's on the news you want to see no I don't want to see it look look I just don't want people to think I'm a wussy whimp baby everyone thinks that it has 10 views on YouTube come on shfp look you can fight him again no I can't fight him again you saw how he fights he's obviously a professional fighter no he sucker punched you it was only one punch he hit you when you weren't looking you're right junior he did Sucker Punch me I wasn't looking cuz I would have caught him slipping yeah CAU the left and the right so all you have to do is hit him back and win and then people will think he's a wussy went baby you're thinking today oh yeah yeah I got to catch him slipping that's what I'm going to do all right crass we all saw the fight yesterday and bury won so there's no need to talk about it I might not know my ABCs but the only letter I need to know is that W cuz I won how that feel payback woo who's the tip who's the CHP sir you're under arrest for knocking out a third grader oh yeah I did yeah I did and I do it again too yep and that's exactly why we're going to go put all right crft so tonight you're going to be doing a crft film Project each of you is going to make a one minute movie about whatever you want and whoever has the most amazing movie is going to win an Oscar an Oscar I've always wanted to win an Oscar you know I'm a natural born actor dude you're a natural born door yeah Cody the only Oscar you're ever going to win is an Oscar Meer wiener in your mouth well that's just as good I'm going to make an art film well no Penelope I need you to be in my film I'm going to remake Shrek and I want you to play Fiona as an ogre not not the normal Girl part I have someone for that shut up Junior all right class so go home and try to get your movie done so you can win this award what's your film going to be about Junior probably dinosaurs what's your film going to be about I don't know I'm thinking maybe something hot and romantic do you think he'll let me do nudity probably not I'd have to charge for that what's your movie going to be about Joseph I'm not going to tell you guys you're going to steal my ideas well I'm going to make the best film ever nuh I'm going to win I'm going to win the Oscar whoever wins the Oscar is the coolest ever okay what kind kind of movie should I make o I know I can make an animated movie about a girl starting her period and every time she has period cramps she turns into a panda bear oh wait pix already did that hey Junior I just came to tell you that my movie's going to be better than yours so in well no my movie's going to be better than yours hey guys I want you to meet Chris soer and Saka why do you have sock puppets cuz I'm making a sock puppet movie that's so lame Joseph no one's ever going to watch something with puppets in it yeah nobody likes puppets Joseph that'll never take off you have a better chance shaking a stuffed animal making it talk yeah well I'll show you when you guys lose and I'm the winner yeah that's not going to happen my movie's going to be better uh junior I need the Lego Titanic I mean I don't know why I'm asking you it's mine I just left it here after we built it well go take it then get out of my house you're distracting me from making a movie okay I got to think of something that's genius Hey guys you're looking at an Oscar winner because I made the hottest steamiest movie of all time well Cody my movie is better I have so much action and destruction in it it's going to be so crazy yeah does your movie have you getting slammed up against a foggy car window no that's what I thought dude my sock puppet movie is so awesome it's top tier it's going to knock your socks off well we know he's not winning no one wants to watch a sock movie but dude it has so much drama in it it's like a lifetime movie all right crash so today you're going to be presenting your crash film project and remember the best film is going to win this Oscar so who wants to go first oh teacher choose me me me me me me me me I want to shck it to him and show what a real movie looks like all right Joseph come up here and show us your film yes all right guys prepare to have your hearts broken will you watch this real life movie based on a true story called my life [Music] socks honey I'm home oh honey you're home early I thought you had to work late Saka you're cheating on me with this black sock no Chris sucker it's not what you think he kidnapped me I have sock home syndrome I'm not falling for that again yeah I'm a sock but I wasn't bought yesterday you're a sock as excuse of a woman you think I'mma walk in here while you're socking another man and be okay with it yeah I'm not Will Smith lady okay pack all your shoes and get out no baby please don't leave you're a ankle sock and he's a tub sock I couldn't help myself I'm so saki my wife cheated on me it's trying to end it all isn't it so sad see my movie didn't have a happy ending cuz real life doesn't have Happy Endings okay Joseph very good go sit down all right Jeffy you're next all right so my movie is called fruit party four and if this one does good I'll make the first three like Star Wars D I'm a happy strawberry hey Mr banana what doing oh nothing I'm just mad cuz I'm a banana and not a happy strawberry oh don't be mad Mr banana I bet you please all the girls cuz you're a banana no nobody wants me cuz I have a bruise on me hey it's me I'm a pineapple sup oh great it's Mr Pineapple the coolest fruit in the world yeah it's me what are you Boos doing well I'm being happy strawberry nothing can ruin this day my day is always ruined I'm a bruise banana Jesus Christ wow Jeffy how graphic go sit out all right panope you're next um I kind of don't want to show mine I didn't get to finish it pan you come up here and present or you fail okay fine Penelope why don't you want to show it is it just a video of you just eating food for 5 hours cuz you're fat shut up Junior so all I want to say is that my dad walked in on me while I was making it and it's really embarrassing so here oh Justin mamore I know we just Med but I feel like we are soulmates you want me to stay here in Paris with you but my flight takes off in 5 minutes and you know I have to see my dying anunt who would never allow this to happen maybe we'll meet in another life what's that one more kiss all right mope what are you doing Dad what are you doing get out I'm making a movie you're making a movie oh God no I failed as a parot by daughter feels like she has to make movies like this Dad get out you're embarrassing me you're embarrassing me you're embarrassing the whole family with what you're doing here with this picture all right that's it I am not going to allow you to make these kinds of movies all right you're going to boarding school oh that was so embarrassing boo trash shut up Junior I mean he is right panope it is embarrassing go sit down Cody your next oh yeah get ready to watch a cinematic Masterpiece okay everybody prepare to cream your panties because you're going to watch the biggest hottest movie of the summer I remade Titanic and I call it Titanic I don't want to be with you Cal I don't even care about your money I'd rather be with someone hotter but poor hey Ken I changed my mind I want to be with you what's that step up on the ledge but what if I fall I'm flying I'm flying Ken I'm flying me like one of your French boys can oh well I I'll be honest it's not really your best work I mean I mean my abs are way bigger in real life and you can't even see my junk I'm going to have to move this blanket okay draw me again let's take another crack at this put your hands on me [Music] Ken oh no can we just hit a bag of ice now the ship is sinking and the lifeboats are all full we're going to have to jump in the water [Music] yeah oh ken I'm so cold I mean I'm sure you're colder cuz you're in the water and I'm not I I I would let you get on my door but there's just not enough room oh Ken Ken oh it's so cold I'll never let go Ken I'll never let go oh oh no I Let Go Ken I'm sorry I'm just so cold no [Applause] no that was 80 years ago and it was the sexiest hunkiest experience of my life thousands of people died but that pipe was legendary huh huh how hot was that [ __ ] huh very good Cody now go sit down junior you're next yeah Junior let's see if your movie's as hot as mine all right guys prepare to watch a real movie that has destruction and death I call it doomsday in Townsville in the City of Townsville the Powerpuff Girls are on vacation so the city is defenseless Old McDonald had a farm e-i e-o and on that farm was Cody's mom big fat ugly pig with I'm a fat dare and I'm ugly sticky Pig ugly fat fatty fat fatty fatty fat fat Old McDonald had a farm e oh no is that a dinosaur I came back from Extinction to destroy your city crash crash crash crash oh no my son works in that building he's probably dead oh he's super dead Crush Crush Crush Crush oh whatever you do please don't eat my dog oh I would never eat your dog oh you promise no your dog Dead die ah no my dog well whatever you do don't eat Cody's mom what Cody's Mom oh I didn't know you had her oh she's so fat and ugly I'm going to eat her no fat Cody's mom you see that Cody your fat mom's getting eaten fat Cody's mom no oh man am I so full from eating Cody's big fat mom if honestly if I would ate her in the beginning I wouldn't have destroyed your city well get out of here before I call the cops oh no the cops I have a record I got to get out of here oh man what can make this day any worse well at least there's not giant tarantulas trying to eat me oh well do I have bad news for you when I was trying to leave the town giant tarantul were coming this way well I'll pay you anything if you can save me okay I'll try and defeat him oh no the giant T are coming oh no the giant tarantula's coming across the bridge he's going to try to eat me a cops come help me wo we're blocked we can't there's a train we can't get past the train well save me he's going to eat me oh no he's coming right towards me I'm dead the end so guys what' you think of the movie huh hey Cody did you see your mom in the movie how she's a big fat ugly pig uh-oh here goes Cody Cody just slapped the [ __ ] out of me keep my mom's name out your [ __ ] mouth it was a your mom's a pig joke keep my mom's name out your [ __ ] mouth okay I will all right Junior go sit out and the winner of the Oscar is Cody I won I actually won an Oscar oh oh I I this is kind of awkward cuz I I just embarrassed myself in front of everyone but I won oh my god really oh thank you I I I just want to start off by saying I'm sorry teacher for slapping someone in your class you know love makes you do crazy things but I I hope you invite me back oh man I just I I deserve this award so much my movie was so good oh thank you all so guys how was your 4th of July no it was cool it blew stuff up yeah dude it was awesome super colorful yeah but 4th of July is over so no more fireworks well I do have all these fireworks left over from the 4th of July wa you have all these fireworks left over oh dude you know we got to pop them well let's go pop them Junior let's go what the [Music] news breaking news and K just reminding everyone that lighting fireworks after the 4th of July is illegal so don't do it it's not worth the punishment we can't pop fireworks after the 4th of July I guess that does make sense if you can pop fireworks every day then the 4th of July isn't special but we still popping these fireworks right of course we're still popping the fireworks Joseph but no guys we don't want to go to jail we're not going to go to jail Cody how would the cops know we're popping fireworks yeah how would they know dude well they have Like Satellites like like NASA could tell them NASA's not going to waste their time watching three kids pop fireworks NASA's too busy trying to make sure the sun doesn't explode what they couldn't stop the sun if it did explode NASA's only job is to stop the Sun from exploding what no how would they even do that NASA stands for not allowing Sun exploding exploding starts with an e no it's called exploding because when the sun explodes it's so astronomically big it's called exploding exploding is not a word look at up it is a real word cuz Axe Body Spray is sponsoring the sun exploding what no one's going to wear Axe Body Spray when the sun explodes then why they sponsor it Cody fine let's just just do the fireworks all right guys you ready to light this fireworks oh yeah dude oh the fact that it's illegal makes me feel so naughty light it Cody hey you guys don't touch my dad's lawn okay light it Cody cuz cuz then then I'll get in trouble what oh my God I said don't touch my dad's lawn cuz I'll get in trouble we're not going to touch this L we're in the middle of the road dude yeah so my dad put me on neighborhood watch just to make sure nobody touches this lawn we're not going to touch his lawn so what are you guys up to we're about to light this firework you're going to light a firework after the 4th of July but that's illegal yeah well we're going to do it anyway Li it Cody but but what if you get caught well then we'll blame you and say you're the one that Lit it but if you do that I I'll call the cops all right listen it's illegal to light fireworks outside right so maybe it's not illegal to light it inside a house so if you let it if you let us light it inside your house maybe we won't get in trouble really it's not illegal to light it in someone's house you don't Li to him I don't think it's illegal to light in someone's house cuz if you light it inside a house no one will know you did it right yeah it's like a private viewing dude yeah oh wow you know what pardon my French but what the heck come on guys what you going to let us light inside your house heck yeah let's go prob let's do he's an idiot he's an idiot all right guys be quiet my parents are sleeping okay the kitchen should be a good place to light it Junior we should tell him his house could burn down no he's an idiot he's actually letting us light it in his house just light it Cody light it okay back up back up everyone back up everyone back up okay oh wow look it's so pretty yeah it is I think it's might be hitting my ceiling yeah it is uh junior we should get out of here oh let's go go go go where are you guys going honey that's the fire Al alarm oh no we got to save my best lawn of the Year trophies what about our children you go get the kids and I'll get my trophies all right Telly what the [ __ ] did you do oh no it wasn't me dad that was so cool guys oh dude that kid an idiot Junior you could have burned that kid's house down well it would have been his fault cuz he's the one who let us do it well Junior you know how gullible he is you took advantage of his innocence well look it looked cool didn't it Cody well it did look cool but it was wrong Junior it was very wrong well it looks like the cause of all the smoke was this firework that was lit in the kitchen yeah we already knew that oh well I would suggest not doing that again cuz you could have burnt the house down you hear that Timmy you almost burnt the goddamn house down you [ __ ] honey language no [ __ ] that Timmy [ __ ] do over here almost calls a big [ __ ] up in in the kitchen parents what happened your shitthead brother Timmy over there l a firework in the kitchen almost burned down the goddamn house it wasn't me father I swear well then who was it it was it was the three handsome neighbor boys across the street well how' they get in the house I don't know they they they broke in you hear that three boys across the street broke into my house and went a firework in my goddamn kitchen well in that case it looks like I have to make an arrest let me go put my cop outfit on Timmy since you didn't do it you're not grounded yes all right guys what do you want to do for the rest of the night we could pop the rest of those fireworks we left outside we could do that all right kids you might be under arrest it was them dad Timmy you [ __ ] n did you kids lot of [ __ ] firework in my kitchen well I mean yeah but Timmy said we could do it no no I didn't Timmy you liar all right that's assault and I guess you kids are under arrest you come with me Timmy I hate you order order order order order I am the order honorable Judge Po and today we will be hearing the case of a most heinous crime Junior Joseph and Cody apparently you broke into Mr haku's home and lit a firework after the 4th of July and then ran away like a bunch of hoodlums so tell me why you did it tell me why you're guilty look your honor we did do it not supposed to admit it yeah D what's wrong with you no look we did do it but the hucker do son Timmy he's the one who led us in the house and said we could light the firework in their kitchen H Mr hako does this sound like something your son would do your honor my son would never do anything like that he's an all a student he never breaks the rules H sounds like a real Square to me oh but he's fun at parties Junior Joseph and Cody if his son is a square what shape are you uh a circle like a rhombus H God look your honor Mr huero does not know how much of a not Square his son really is bring in the sun I will assess his squareness timy get your ass in here what's going on Dad the judge wants to speak to you 1 2 3 Four Corners Square squaresville listen kid did you let those boys into your house to light a firework in your kitchen and I'm warning you don't lie to me I don't like liars have you ever heard of liar liar pants on fire we can make that literal uh uh go on son tell the judge the same thing you told me before you answer look into my eyes and swear on your father's life that what you about to say to me is the truth I swear on my father's life that I I I did let them in so they can light the firework in the kitchen tell me how could you you're little blond ass is grounded I see so you are not guilty of being a square but you are guilty of breaking your father's rules which is not actually a crime but it does deserve a spanking Junior Joseph and Cody you still it a firework after the 4th of July which we all know is a very serious crime punishable by death well why is it even wrong to light a firework after the Fourth of July anyway because you scare my dog and it wakes up old people we have work in the morning but fireworks are fun oh really is there anything fun about this woohoo so fun wait judge you just lit a firework so you just broke the law you're right my God I forgot my father somebody take this away for me oh God what he's crying dude yeah his dad died from light and fireworks after the 4th of July I can't sentence your boys to death after I committed the same crime as you how about this how about we call it even Stevens is that okay I'll just let you off of the warning this time yeah sure all right no these kids need to be punished for what they did in my kitchen and for ruining my little Timmy oh my God Hanks stop being such a square I sentenced you to take a chill pill damn you can't keep letting people get away without punishment oh look at here Hank look what I found H you have an unpaid parking ticket from 2004 so I could suspend your license for a year or you could quit being a little [ __ ] and pull the stick out of your ass Hank how about that come on Timmy we got to go I can't lose my license cuz I have to be able to drive you to soccer practice whereas the Italians call it football all right kids run along but never lik another firework after the 4th of July again unless it's on New Year's Eve that would be fine court adjourned come on guys let's go where you going Cody sorry wow guys that was really close we really dodged a bullet there we just get by by the hairs of our chinny chin chins just by the skin of our teeth teeth don't have skin Cody well I don't know that's just how the saying goes but look my point is we almost went to jail so we shouldn't do stupid stuff anymore okay Cody we'll just just sit on the couch and be boring hey guys what are you doing here yeah what are you doing here yeah what are you doing here well I I just came by to say say it sh did I just came by to say that I'm sorry for lying and almost getting you guys sent to jail for the death penalty well you're stupid cuz you snitched on us but Junior it was our fault but he snitched well then he UNS snitched okay whatever Timmy just leave oh thanks so you guys want to come over to my place and play 7 Minutes in Heaven yes no you're grounded young man so you get that little Caboose behind this train and you tell your friends see you later alligator after a while crocodile got to go Buffalo see you soon raccoon be sweet parakeet take care polar bear in a shape garter snake hit the road Happy Toad can't stay blue jay bye-bye butterfly give me a hug ladybug to tooo Kangaroo time to scoot little noot till then penguin okay I think you guys should just leave all right adios hippos that one wasn't even good awesome inana iguana okay so guys what do you want to do tonight since we can't do anything fun let's go and pot on fireworks yeah let's go pop them no God my junk food jumala is almost ready oh it smells so delicious oh my god oh I got to go to the bathroom but first I need to add one more ingredient the olive oil let's sauce it up baby okay all right I need to go to the [Music] bathroom you hear that guys my tummy's ready for some dinden what the hell is dinden you know dinden like dinner dude are you 2 years old guys calm down Chef peee will be done cooking dinner soon well what's he cooking cuz my tummy's ready for some denden isn't that right tummy yeah Cody I want some D dude if you say d one more time your ass is done done why am I alive is that a food monster what what the hell was that Junior I was trying to distract him good thinking dude maybe it's some food zombie and we got to eat him before he spread yeah let's eat him wait don't eat him what if it's a kid and CHF was trying to cook him and maybe all that food got burned onto his skin when he was in the oven before he escaped dude that's a dark turn we're kidding wait so shef pe's trying to cook kids why else would food be alive help me oh he's saying help me only a kid would say help me wait hold on where are you from the kitchen Chef pee's from the kitchen yeah so it's food but [ __ ] cooking kids oh no we have to call the cops poor chef peei but he has to go to jail for his crimes trying to cook a kid what's wrong with him Cody go call the cops okay yeah I'll go get my phone okay Junior got my phone um he's eating your doll dude Joseph stop him Cody no Joseph please Cody shut up Junior tell Joseph this St you Junior I don't care I'm still going to watch C just call 911 oh yeah yo yo yo yo 911 what's your emergency yeah hey sorry I'm just trying to liven things up here this job can get really depressing you know listening to people's emergencies all the time like the last call I got was about this guy who killed his whole family and then he shot himself on the phone so I'm really hoping this call is going to be happier oh well we got a chef that's cooking kids but really he's he's cooking kids yeah alive oh man are you sure like this isn't a prank or anything no he's really doing it well can you prove it I don't even want to believe you this sucks well I guess you could talk to the cooked kid yeah let me do that help me yeah yeah that sounds like a half-cooked kid damn it okay we're coming all right Junior the police are on their way there they are they're here all right child cooker we have the place surrounded so freeze and come out with your hands up how can you come outside if he's Frozen oh that's a good point Simmons I didn't think about that okay so uh unfreeze and then put your hands up and then come outside and freeze again well how can you open the door if his hands are up oh yeah okay okay okay uh forget all that okay so I so I want you to unfreeze and then come outside and then close the door cuz we don't want bugs getting in the house and then put your hands up and then freeze again how's that sound Simmons that was good mate okay yeah okay so just do all that I don't think he's coming out well maybe he got confused and he thought he was still supposed to freeze inside let's just go in and get hold on we're we're coming we're getting you what the hell who's at the door freeze I I will unfreeze and then put your hands over then freeze that that's so confusing just get the hell out the ground all right kids we arrested your Chef why am I being arrested because you've been cooking kids while they're alive Junior why are you lying to the cuss I didn't cook a damn kid if you didn't cook a kid then what's that what the hell I don't know what that is well it's obviously a kid that you cooked with a bunch of food oh no I didn't cook a damn kid how many times do I have to say that okay well let's ask him are you a kid that that he cooked he created me Daddy oh my God you cooked your own kid you sick bastard well I mean I guess that's better than cooking somebody else's kid I mean if he's yours I guess you could still no no cooking kids is definitely wrong he's not my kid and I didn't cook his ass H Simmons have there been any kids reported missing today not today mate really not in the whole world nope wow it is a good day to be a kid we are doing really good well I guess if there's no missing kids then it can't be a kid unless he's your kid but no he's not my kid huh okay well I mean I guess it's just some kind of food monster and as much as I'd love to stick around and figure out what that's all about I'm sure you guys will just call me later so you're free to go I might go have one of his marshmallows no Simmons just leave the freak alone let's go suha peee what is that thing I don't know but what were you cooking downstairs my world famous junk food jumbalaya but what were the ingredients well you have marshmallows Oreos Cheerios but that's all stuff that's on the food monster keep going with the ingredients Skittles cheeses olive oil olive oil are you sure you didn't use alive oil what the hell is alive oil I use olive oil I know what I use well go get the bottle let me see okay Cody you're right it's alive oil yeah alive oil is just like olive oil but it makes food come alive my mom accidentally used this on some lasagna one time and it wouldn't leave me alone for a week we had to hire Garfield to eat his ass who the hell would make something like this I don't know but it's extra virgin alive oil so he's going to be really horny I'm saving myself for marriage wait wait wait so this is really my creation of my son well yeah but I mean we can eat him if you don't want him he looks pretty tasty hell no you're not eating my son oh he's going to be a big basketball player when he grows up I'm about to go and buy some basketballs yeah cuz that's what I think when I look at that NBA Allstar cone head McGee I like that name cone head McGee do you like that name oh he looks hungry Cody do you have that free medium french fries you get every week well yeah of course go grab your French fries let's feed him okay here Jesus okay I got the french fries okay feed him a fry okay here you go eat it come on eat it eat it eat it shove it in his mouth Junior isn't this kind of like forced cannibalism cuz he's made of food and we're making him eat food yes he's right dude this is wrong well we're humans and we eat food so then what does food eat humans uhoh there's the problem if you are wondering what the problem of the video is there it is dude we got to eat him first it's a doggy dog world it is a doggy dog world it's a dog eat dog world but no it's doggy dog world no it's dog eat dog like like it's brutal dog eat dog dogs don't eat other dogs unless you're Michael Vic dude that's not what happened but okay yeah he made them fight and made them eat each other guys let's not get into this right now let's just try to figure out how to get this monster to not eat us okay well we're not going to eat him I think we can train this food monster to not want to eat humans cuz I know another monster that used to eat humans and doesn't do it anymore the fact that you know a monster come on guys follow me come on conee head McGee okay guys here's the Cookie Monster hi it's me Cookie Monster jior Cookie Monster didn't use eat people oh yes me did me used to eat all parts of people me used to eat arms legs head nose and sometimes me even eat the booty oh okay well how did you stop Cookie Monster me found God and cookies and me found my savior Jesus Christ oh okay well I'm really glad you could do that Cookie Monster that's really nice and sometimes when me eat cookie me think of how the bone crunch from Human see listen sound just like this crunch of human child head yeah I I guess I guess it might sound like that yeah and and sometime sometime when me dream me dream about when I a family of six in Utah they were camping and I ate the mother in front of the kids I cut her head off and drank her blood and and sometime I think her head sound like this okay well I'm really glad you don't do that anymore Cookie Monster and and sometime sometime we think about how human flesh is sweeter than cookie okay well we have a monster here that doesn't want to eat humans anymore so can he have some of your cookies no my cookies find your own okay well that was a Wast of time yeah let's go figure out something else yeah okay Junior we need to figure out something this monster can eat that's not humans cuz if he gets a taste for human flesh it's over well how about we ask him what he'd want besides humans hey cone head that was good oh my God he hate Joseph oh my God what are we going to do junior let's climb up here he can't reach us up here I'll suck the marrow from your bones well I like the sucking part but not the marrow part oh call the cops Cody okay hello 911 you're on your way okay great okay Junior they're coming hey there somebody call the cops oh hey you're that food monster thing oh hello we're hiding up there cuz he eats humans oh hey freeze he's trying to eat you get on the ground bet you told me to freeze oh yeah I did okay unfreeze freeze unfreeze on the ground freeze Jesus I got to be so specific with people these days what are you doing to my baby oh I just got this basketball so we can ball together isn't that right LeBron J's goinge they're trying to kill me yeah well your son is trying to eat these kids so I'm going to give you two options I can either shoot him or you can eat him oh my baby boy well I brought you into this world I guess I have to eat you out hey what I'm I'm going to need you to rephrase that for me I'm about to eat him I'm about to eat this booty like groceries e hey I wish that was me wow I can't believe you ate the whole thing yeah it's never easy eating your first kid but it does get easier at least that's what my schizophrenic grandma told me before she put me in the microwave anyway now that the threat's neutralized I guess I can go home I'm just grab one of these Skittles see you oh I think I'm going throw up well Junior now that that's over I think it's time we address the elephant in the room your mom's here your big fat Mom's here no Junior the elephant in the room oh that alive oil isn't a real thing no the actual elephant that's in the room it's right here it's huge what what's it doing here there is a huge elephant in the room you didn't notice the giant elephant we just climbed it a minute ago I didn't even notice I guess I'm just so used to your fat mom being around that I just assumed that was your mom you thought we climbed my mom to get away from a monster I don't know Cody I don't know how the elephant got here I don't know either it's not mine well it's not mine well maybe it was Joseph so guys what do you want to do today dude we should totally put on blindfolds and jungle chainsaws while going down the stair that sounds like a sick idea I know right or we could just watch TV lame dude that's so lame we're always on the stupid red couch let's go and do something but but this would be way safer we should just watch TV well well guys you both have really good ideas so I think you guys should have a staring contest and whoever doesn't blink we do their idea okay but he has four eyes he obviously has an advantage well I see what I see what you're saying but he also has more eyes that he could blink I guess you're right all right so and go e e dude you blink you cheated oh I guess we have to watch TV breaking news m a Florida man found a human nose in his pizza and he sued Papa John's and received $1 million let's go to Goodman for the story now Goodman thanks Goodman I'm here with the man who sued Papa John's for $1 million he would like to remain anonymous and he would like to be called poy so puy tell us what happened well I uh ordered a pizza from Papa John's you know pretty standard pepperoni pizza uh so they deliver it and I go to bite into it and I you see that that that that's a nose it sure is yeah I say that's that's not a pepperoni that's that's that's a nose it's a human nose y so I call the store and uh I tell them hey there's a nose in my pizza and they say it was supposed to be a pepperoni pizza and I say well it's not it's a no it's a nose Pizza it is yeah so then they check around the store to see if anybody lost their nose and it turns out they did somebody lost their nose right in my pizza you he was slicing the pizza and it slipped and he sliced his own nose off and just boxed it up like normal yeah so they offer me a refund or a new pizza so I sued them yeah that's one would yeah I suit them for a million dollars they gave me this cardboard box full of money so that's is it I'm sorry is that an ear oh you're about to get paid again there's an there's an ear in my box of money okay well that's cool I guess somebody's just falling apart over at Papa John's I guess Mr Potato Head works at Papa John's and his pieces are falling off that's I'm just going to keep ordering things and keep getting paid yeah that's the way to do it now remember folks if you find body parts in your pizza or your big box of money you can lawyer up and get paid guys did you see that dude I know a nose Pizza that sounds delicious no no no no no the guy got a million dollars for finding a nose on his pizza so what if we go plant a nose on a piece of pizza and then we suit too and we get a million dollars dude that is so genius I wish I would have thought of that no Junior that's a terrible idea if we get caught we'll go to jail and also where are we even going to get a body part well I have hundreds of Mr potatoe head pieces in my room I found a body part in the backyard so we can just go take one of the Mr Potato Hood pieces and we can just go put on food and say we found it in Sue and get a million dollars this is a stupid idea no it's a good idea we're going to be rich come on let's get rich all right guys what body part should we use to put on the pizza well the guy on the news used a nose but I'm in the feet so let's use this orange piece I think we should use the nose what do you think Cody I think this is stupid because the guy in the news had a real human nose in his food no one's going to care if we use a Mr Potato Head piece cuz it's a toy well you going to offer to cut off your nose Cody and let me use that no then we're going to have to use a toy nose Cody so I'm use a nose welcome to Papa John's how may I take your order uh can I get a large pepperoni pizza with no body parts on it I guess you saw the news huh yeah y we saw the news and we don't want any body parts on our pizza well we guarantee there won't be any body parts in your pizza all right $20 please here it is thanks you sir and your pieces is right here fresh off the heater and there's no body parts uh no body parts sir all right thank you all right Cody I put the Mr Potato Head nose on the pizza so Joseph is going to be recording your reaction when you open up the box so be really scared when you see it Junior why would I be recording myself eating a pizza isn't that going to be kind of suspicious no because you're starting your food review Channel on YouTube and this is your first video okay so in my first video I'm going to find a nose in my pizza no one's going to believe that well no you're going to go viral that's what's going to make it so big Junior this is stupid no one's going to believe that no no no close the box go go go all right go hey guys it's me Cody but hold on hold on hold on Joseph uh your nose is in the video oh oh my bad to okay start again go hey guys it's me Cody and today I'm going to be reviewing just like a regular Papa John's pepperoni pizza I guess cuz I guess I've never had one before here we go oh my God what is that oh no there's a nose in my pizza oh you're going to sue right you're going to sue yeah I'm I'm going to sue yeah scream scream why why would I scream it's just a scream ah louder louder they didn't hear you ah oh this man is screaming over here cuz the nose in his pizza JY nothing's happening I demand a million dollars where's my million dollar yeah yeah yeah like the guy on the news yeah I want a million dollars like that guy on on the news yell for the manager manager oh manager there's a nose in my pizza I'm going yell out manager we had a nose in my pizza y'all want something uh yes Mr manager my friend found something in his pizza tell him Cody I I I I I found a nose what a nose oh oh no not again oh we can't keep getting so like this uh hold on Sir uh I'm going to get the cook for you Mr P head come in here hi guys are you enjoying your pizza oh sh what's wrong Cody it's Mr Potato Head I know this is perfect we can say that one of his pieces fell off in the pizza we can sue him is something wrong look at the pizza look at what you did you did this uh I don't see anything other than cheese and pepperoni well that's your nose right there in the pizza right there that's your nose no my nose is on my face no no no we know you come with spare parts and one of your noses fell in the pizza and we want to sue for a million dollar isn't that right Cody I I that could be anybody's nose no no it's his nose and we're suing for a million you want a million do right I mean a refund with no we want a million dollar and we're going to sue look I'm I'm going to have to fire you Mr pad fired I can't be fired I have a family and tater tots at home look I don't care about your tits look you call the s get out of here a yeah we won our million dollars and we want it now and we're going to sue even more harder than the last guy who sued I don't feel good about no no no no it feels good we want a million doll go get our million doll breaking news K another person has found a nose in their Papa John's Pizza their shocking video capturing the moment when the customer noticed the nose in his pizza let's show you that now here we go oh my God what is that oh no there's a nose in my pizza oh you're going to sue right you're going to sue yeah I'm I'm going to sue yeah scream scream what why would I scream it's just a scream ah shocking video the employee whose nose fell off onto the pizza has been fired we also have a statement from him now let's go to that that wasn't my nose I swear I can't be fired I needed that job I have Mouse to feed well look at that Junior we ruined a man's life oh come on Cody he's not even a real man he's a potato he's a person he has a family but Cody we have a million dollar dude I've never seen this much money in my life I know it's so awesome Junior I think we should give some of this money to Mr Potato Head why well because he's homeless now and he lost his job because of us but if you give away some of your money we won't be millionaires anymore we'll be thousandaires and that sounds lame yeah if you're going to give away money you might as well give it to me yeah you might as well give it to your buds Junior I think we should give Mr Potato Head at least half of this money half e half that's like half the money yeah exactly that's half the money Joseph he wants to give away half a million dollars well if he's going to give away money Joseph okay fine I'm still going to get Mr Potato Head half that's dumb come on let's go find [Music] him hey sexy Hey Big Boy what can I do for you how much to rent that mouth of yours for the night uh 20 bucks all right there [Music] go hey I'll give you $100 for your feet I don't know what you said but I think it's yes Jesus Christ look at him Junior he's a mess he doesn't even have a mouth oh we supposed to do we're going to take him back to your house and we're going to fix him up how are we going to fix him up you have plenty of extra Mr Potato Head pieces at your house come on all right Cody I gave him a mouth tell us what happened Mr Potato Head well first of all I lost my job and then my wife leaves me and takes the tots and and the next thing I know I'm having to sell my body parts on the side of the road for money and they took the most important one Jesus why is there eyes on the back of your head so I can look him in the eyes when he's mashing my potatoes just awful oh well we really want to help you get back on your feet yeah literally here sit on this oh that's not the first time I've heard that this evening oh so we also want to help you in another way how yeah we're going to give you all of this money wait wait we're only going to give him half junior he deserves it haven't you seen what he's been through all of this money you want to give it to me yeah oh I appreciate it thank you so much oh just go ahead be gentle no no no no you you don't have to do that anymore M yeah you know we wanted to to give you the money oh really yeah we just want your life to go back to normal oh thank you so much oh I appreciate it why are you sad Junior because you gave Mr potatoe head our million dollars and now we have nothing it was the right thing to do he fixed his life but now we have nothing hey guys what Mr Potato Head oh I don't go by that name anymore I go by Mr B bank account head wow nice drip yeah it be like that sometimes well what are you doing here well I wanted to come by and thank Cody for making things right and giving me a million do so I want to give him a stack I want to make sure my brother eats thanks do you have a stack for me oh hold on I got something for you here tape that to the back of your head then you might get something what what was that for you about to get your potatoes mashed well why didn't he give me any money because you ruined his life Junior well you you ruin it too well but at least I made all right cross today we're going to be doing animal dissection so each of you should have a dead animal on your desk and you're going to cut it open with the kitchen knife I gave you oh man this is so awesome I get to cut open a frog and see what his insides look like hey Cody what animal did you get I get a pig you got your mom that means you get to see what the inside of your mom looks like every guy knows what that looks like your mom's a hoe but no she's not hey you know the last time your mom was cut open was when you were born cuz you were a C-section C-section I wasn't a C-section yeah you were yeah you were what teacher why are we playing with knives it seems really dangerous hey Cody cat no damn it Joseph don't throw that watch I'm going to throw it when you least expected teacher can I move desks or can you at least tell Joseph to cut it the hell out gr be careful with the knives you can poke your eye out with that thing he look he caught it well Cody are you okay no I'm not okay I have a knife in my eye teacher I'm going to go to the nurse see CR that's why I told you to be careful that's why you should always be wearing your safety goggles even though I didn't provide any to you and you can thank the school funding for that but anyway back to the animal dissection so what you're going to do is you're going to cut down the abdomen of the animal that you have and pull out the stomach whoo dude I cut his skull open now I'mma get his brains out oh look at how squishy it is but Joseph you were supposed to cut open his stomach but dude I wanted to play with his brains look watch this Splat sticky oh that's so awesome I'm going to get my brain out hey Joseph look I got mine's brain out oh dude I bet you won't throw it at the chocol Bo I bet I will do it dude after you get the hey h on a brain hey I know the brains look fun and Squishy but don't throw the brains at the bll maybe after class sorry teacher hey guys I'm back Cody I didn't know you were a pirate I'm not a pirate Junior then why do you have an eye patch oh I don't know maybe because Joseph stabbed me in the eye and then the nurse had to put a Band-Aid over it but it didn't help because I'm permanently blind for Life thanks Joseph oh you're welcome buddy did I miss anything oh yeah you're supposed to cut out your animal's brain and throw it a as hard as you can at the board really yeah yeah he said like we can do it for fun okay and if you look up to the right you'll be able to see your animal's heart oh throw the brain Cody did it Cody principal's office now but they they said are we supposed to do it the brain I was supposed to throw the board no screw you guys sorry Cody I hate this class A I don't want to cut open this froggy what's wrong it's already dead look at my pig look at his guts and his wiener oh okay I guess I got to cut open this froggy please don't do this you can talk of course I could talk I got 14 tpos and the misses at home please don't kill me I don't want to kill you but my teacher says I have to no no you don't you Canard me listen I was captured against me will and I've been playing dead ever since please don't let me die well I guess I can get you out of here I can take you home and show you to my daddy oh thank you so much all right crass real quick important announcement you are not allowed to take your animals home that's school policy okay so I'm going to come around the cross and I want you to show me your animal stomach oh no what do we do hide me and say I'll run away oh that's a good idea I'm where to hide you oh I know hurry jump inside my diaper okay all right Jeffy where's your animal stomach wait Jeffy where's your animal at um he got up and ran away what he ran away grass everyone be on The Rook out for a frog Jeffy do you know where we get these animals from Area 51 because they're extremely intelligent but very very dangerous so we have to kill them and dissect them to prevent them from taking over the world but don't worry Jeffy I will not rest until I find your frog all right crft everyone can go home for the day but make sure your animal is dead before you leave and if you see that frog make sure you call me directly all right Mr froggy let's get out of here thank you so much hey D hey Jeffy how was school guess what's in my pants it's green and covered in warts Jeffy if it looks like that it's been infected what have you been doing to it well Daddy I had it out on my desk at school and the teacher wanted to see it so I put it in my pants and I came home Jeffy if your teacher want to see it we have to call the cop that there's something wrong with him and we have to call a doctor cuz it's green and covered in warts that means there's something wrong Jeffy your we is not supposed to look like that well it's not my Wier daddy oh well then what is it well close your eyes and turn around and I'll pull it out and show you um I'm scared but okay all right thank God I'm out of there don't you ever change your diaper all right then you can turn around now what it's a frog oh yeah I'm a Frog oh my God it can talk of course I can talk you seen my cousin and in commercials did you know that you can save 15% or more in 15 minutes on car insurance something like that what Jeffy where didd you get a talking frog at well I'm going from school the teacher wanted me to cut him open and so I saved his life that's true he's my hero a Marvin Jeffy saved that frog's life well frog it's time for you to go back outside where you came from well you know this frog has a name what's your name fraer well frauder you can go back outside you get ran over by cars and pee on plants or whatever you need to do oh yeah yeah all right well Jeffy I'll see you later mate thanks for everything all right bye frer Marvin I'll see you later too okay bye all right Jeffy no more bringing amphibians into the house what about frogs frogs are amphibians Jeffy well then why didn't you just say that instead of saying amphibians or something Jeffy Jeffy look just's no more bringing animals into the house okay so go to your room all right Daddy got to call the chief hello who's this you know who this is Sergeant froger you made it out alive you son of a [ __ ] I told you I'd make it out great job Sergeant now you know what to do oh yeah kill all humans make them pay for all those frogs that died to in those school dissections with pleasure what was that sorry I got a frog in my throat hope it's not my wife oh man I don't know what to cook tonight oh hello there wait is that a frog I can make frog legs hey give me your legs froggy or we can make something different tonight how about Chef arms Chef arms yeah one down billions to go all right baby what movie do you want to watch tonight ooh let's watch a scary movie which one do you want to watch you should watch Scream Roger what are you doing here oh hi there Marvin you want to know what I'm going to do with this knife oh what I'm going to stab you in the rib it will hurt get it I'm going to stab you in the rib it will hurt Ribbit will hurt Ribbit I'm a I'm a frog frog say ribbit you're going to kill me with how long you're explaining this joke why are you trying to kill us oh I don't know maybe because humans been slicing up frogs for years I think I'm going to slice you up oh no Marvin what do we do oh look look there's a fly oh you think I'm going to fall for that oo get over here you little bugger run hey come back here run to the pantry run to The Pantry on get back here you baby close the door close the door I know you're in there call the cops let me get my phone come on answer the phone answer the phone open up 911 what's your emergency oh yes please send help help help help okay what's going on there's a frog a frog yeah a big scary frog sir you're a grown man why are you afraid of a frog because he's trying to kill me okay sir I think you have ranidaphobia that's a fear of frogs Yeah I have ranidaphobia I ran the away from this frog trying to kill me okay frogs can't kill you they're not dangerous except for poison dart frogs they they can kill you they're very very dangerous they're all colorful they look like candy but if you eat them you'll die is it a poison dart frog no it's a really big frog Marin don't forget to tell him about the knife who is that it's the Frog he can talk A talking frog yeah he has a knife so sir are you on something are you okay no no no no I'm not okay he's trying to kill me okay sir I think I could call you an ambulance so they can get you mentally checked out no no no no please please just come out me the Frog's trying to kill me I'm in my pantry and he's trying to kill me and he said he's going to stab me in the rib it will hurt he said he'll stab me in the rib it will hurt ribbit ribbit oh this is a prank called bye Marvin open the door morvin it's not locked did you say it's not locked oh no open the doorin open the door Marvin open the door hey Mr froggy what doing oh hey there Jeffy me and your parents are just playing hide-and seek why do you have a knife well oh we were just just about to cut some cake and have some fun help Jeffy help why is she screaming uh she's saying Help Cut the Cake she wants to help Cut the Cake so that's what I'm trying to get in here oh that makes sense oh they're showing at the door I'll go get it yeah go Get It Marvin he froggy hello Jeffy there's a Tracker in the Frog and I tracked it to your house get to safety I'll handle the frog okay come on Marvin I just want to slice you open Roger we meet again Jackie chew what are you doing here you should have never escaped because your death would have been quick and painless but now you suffer no you're going to be the one that suffers long and painful we'll see about that two in the pig one the St oh no please give me a second chance I'll change it looks like I'm eating frog rigs tonight thank you so much Jackie chw for saving our life M we really appreciate it Marvin today's been a weird day every day is a weird day in our life true hey D look what I found can I keep him but no Jeffy you can't keep any random animals that you found outside Marvin what could go wrong with a pig well the Frog tried to kill us that was a frog I guess right I guess you can keep the pig hey chief they don't suspect a thing we'll finally get payback from all that bacon they've been eating excellent just going to sit here and watch my soap operas where's my remote oh there it is I can't reach it hey Jonathan get in here bring M me the remotes Jonathan the remote bring it to me now oh whatever he must be distracted playing his video games or something let me call him hey Sy call my son B your mother's calling I'm not answering that Bo you answer your mother okay but she's not nice to me I'll put it on speaker so you can hear what hey can you bring Mommy to remote control well I'm not coming all the way to your house just to hand you the remote oh I meant to call my favorite son Jonathan I didn't know I was calling my other son the piece of [ __ ] rookie yeah there it is yeah I think you should probably call Jonathan instead why you don't want to come over and see your mother we would love to come and see you is that you skank of a wife I always knew you'd marry someone ugly she doesn't mean it oh and tell her I mean it too yeah okay good talk ma thanks for calling screw you uh-huh yeah thanks for making me answer that she only acts like that because she's old she acted like that when she was 30 stupid phone called the wrong son hey Jonathan get in here bring me the remote Jonathan let me see what that stupid boy's up to all right I got all six tabs open in the right time stamps okay Nami let's rock Jonathan I've been calling you day mother Jonathan what the hell are you watching hold my heart mother mother mother speak to me I'm having a heart attack I got a C guy he can fix this oh great now my brother's calling answer right you saw how the call with my mom went B okay fine hello mom's dead Jonathan you don't have to make up a story just so I'll come over there and give you the remote I'm not making it up she's on the ground and she's not moving she does that all the time Jonathan it's called being drunk no she's not breathing okay fine if you're that worried about it just take it to a hospital and I'll be there in a minute okay okay I'm here Jonathan what are you doing T imprs I'm trying to say her stay alive stay alive Jonathan she's going to be As Dead As Disco If you don't stop I already gave her Mouse him out for 30 minutes I even used tongue ew Jonathan just tell me what happened well I was in my room and then she walked in while I was watching uh My Little Pony and then she grabbed her chest and fell over well it sounds like she had a heart attack No Shave on my Nurse Jackie can you please get him the hell out of here all right come along well she flatlines so I think she's probably dead no M you can't die stay with me Bo I'm so sorry about your mother dying I'm here for you during this tough time tough time no this is Party Time see Bo you don't have to drink your sorrows away no no no this is a happy beer I'm happy right now Bo you're showing your grief in a weird way no I'm not showing grief because I'm not grieving see how I'm not crying and I'm not sad at all Bo I think you're in denial no no no you you don't get it I literally do not care that my mother died it means nothing to me this is a normal day Bo when's the funeral uh it's about an hour from now what we got to go get ready we got to go oh I'm not going B you're going to your mother's funeral but why she wouldn't come to my funeral she told me that to my face when I was in fifth grade do you know what that does to a kid B we're going no I'm not going you can't make me oh yeah oh yeah well fine then I'm taking the remote oh come on what if I want to change the channel Bo you get this back after you go to your mother's funeral okay fine I will make an appearance and then we are leaving okay oh God it's an open casket funeral it's going to be okay hubby I'm not upset you're not going to see a single tear come out of my eyes she looks so beautiful just like she doing she is alive it's like I can see her her saying I hate bookl guy he's such a we son Jonathan I don't really get why you're so sad I'm honestly surprised she didn't die soona she smoked like a chimney she loved me so much well look on the bright side Jonathan maybe now you can finally grow up and move out of the house you really think Mom's not going to give me her house in a wheel booking guy yeah right okay Jonathan let's just go sit down so we can get this whole thing over with okay one last kiss I love you Mommy okay okay I think one kiss is enough come on come on you big yeah come on just sit down sit down be quiet she's dead and she's not coming back that's how death Works Jonathan now shut up it's starting hello and welcome to the funeral of Barbara guy who was taken from us too soon true true way too soon she was 75 and her lungs looked like raisins I personally never knew Barbara but she seems like a lovely woman no she was wasn't he's just upset because mother didn't love him I would refrain from shouting out during the funeral please let's have some respect for the dead now as I was saying Barbara is survived by her two sons of whom I'm sure she was very proud of H I didn't know we were telling jokes at this funeral Barbara loved smoking and drinking and drinking and smoking now he's telling the truth the budget of this funeral was only $100 so that's about all you're getting out of me but now let's hear from some people close to Mrs guy starting with her son Jonathan are you sure you're going to be able to talk yes I just have to compose myself hello everybody my name is Jonathan and I was my mother's favorite son don't you say a word blly guy you know it's true I know I was going to agree with you so for those of you that knew my mother you would know she's a gentle caring loving and just all around amazing person to everyone except bln guy she hated him oh I've got a uber East delivery oh that that that's mine I I told you to leave it at the door oh oh well you said you was going to tip me in cash yeah if you didn't interrupt the funeral well how was I supposed to know it was a funeral it's a funeral home well here the foood God honey you're interrupting the funeral shush I'm hungry thank you this smells really good uh let's see here um h they they forgot my straw man they always forget the straw now I got to do a really loud open lid sip like I was saying I have prepared a song in my mother's honor amazing gra how sweet just s do you mind the fries will get cold you should have ate before the funeral I thought there were going to be finger sandwiches or something yeah I apologize everyone for my brother's rude Interruption how inconsiderate well that concludes my song I would like to give my mother one last hug before I go I love you mother I love you mother oh Lord no no no no no no no no no no Jonathan okay okay Jonathan okay put put the corpse back in the coffin put want no you're going to have to I'll never let go Jonathan this is embarrassing put it back this is gross come on oh God that was very beautiful Jonathan thanks Karen well everybody that was something huh yeah so um I mean I guess it's time for me to make my speech it should be pretty short so I guess I'll just say you suck thank thank you thank you Jonathan yeah that's very nice uh so as I was saying I um honey honey could you pass me the french fries that they're getting cold oh okay yeah thank thank you sorry everybody I didn't eat today so I'm just going to pop one of these bad boys in and they're cold okay well that's great that just ruins my day this is the worst loss that happened today this this has ruined my entire day I was really looking forward to this so uh what was I saying I I'm sorry I lost all train of thought because of the french fries that that really bums me out oh oh yeah that that's right uh I don't really know what to say about Ma I didn't love her she she defin didn't love me you know she she hit me all the time and she yelled at me and told me I was worthless so I don't really know why I'm here so I mean I guess the one thing I will say is suck it Babs how you like that I'm alive and you're dead who's useless now huh yeah you're just worm food now huh yeah sorry this is the last chance I was going to get to say that to a face so I think that's about it yeah hey hey does this place have a microwave I I might still be able to save these unlike her she's she's done honey that was very emotional I could tell she meant a lot to you you weren't listening thank you very much for the nice words boys now we will hear from Mrs guy's ex-lover ex-lover who the hell could that be he everyone how's it going Simmons oh yeah hey mate sorry about your mom uh but where do I start uh yeah I guess I'd like to start by quoting a song from Usher and L John she was a lady in the streets but a freak in the sheets oh she sure was I'm going to missed that old Pooch but anyway we met on a disturbance call she was trying to steal cigarettes from the gas station so I showed up arrested her put in the back of my cop car but instead of going down to the station we went back to her place and uh I booked her he did he did I heard it from my room yeah you'd be surprised where she could put a taser but uh yeah that's all I got to say about that God hopefully this is almost over all lovely words were said today now if everyone will just follow me outside for for the burial we will now lower the casket into the grave no I won't let you bury her I'm going to have her Tex to me so I can see her whenever I want Jesus Jonathan you're making a scene at a funeral you're embarrassing yourself shut up you bastard she never loves you she only loved me I was her favorite you know that you know she didn't love you yeah I know she told me all the time there there Jonathan you stink she didn't love you either oh my God Jonathan just let them bury the casket never we go out for ice cream afterwards Two Scoops Two Scoops okay Amazing Grace How Sweet the Sound no M you bury me with oh God this is a [ __ ] show I I I can't watch love po you had to leave because you were just too sad no I left because it was a [ __ ] show the casket busted open Jonathan was being insane my French fries were cold I'm just glad that it's over oh oh Jonathan why did you bring the corpse to my house well you hope mom will I go pee well I'm not e e e e e e oh god oh oh I hope this is a good time it's clearly not and how is everyone getting in my house well it's time to go over your mother's will so if you could come back to the office with me that' be great what do I bring the body or preferably not okay I don't even know why I have to come to this I know I'm not getting anything what Simmons what are you doing here I'm in the wheel mik how do you know all right let's get to reading this thing I brought M ew I told you not to do that anyway Barbara's last will intes shut the [ __ ] up yes sir all my belongings are are to be divided between the two most important people in my life Jonathan guy and officer long schlong Simmons what to my perfect baby boy Jonathan I leave my house car and bank accounts to Simmons I leave my used underwear and panties good for you and to my ungrateful pie of [ __ ] good for nothing son Brookie I leave behind absolutely nothing tell him I hate him piece of [ __ ] he's a bum who can't make up his mind on what job he wants and he married a skank and the rest of it is just cussing you out yep that's about what I thought thanks a lot Mom I'm out of here how was the reading of the whe honey it would exactly like I expected I got nothing and I was insulted at least she cared enough to invite you yeah how considerate of her I'm just going to drink my beer and be glad she's gone wow I can't believe my ears told me what I heard when I heard it what Mom I thought you were dead April fools I was faking it well it is April Fool's Day you faked your death for for April Fool's Day I sure did cuz I wanted to see which one of my boys cared about me the most it turned out it was Jonathan he balded his eyes out what did you do you sat there and ate cold french fries and drank a drink really loud at my funeral well okay I was hungry and also I didn't think you'd fake your own death well I didn't think you'd be a fat piece of [ __ ] and eat cold french fries at my funeral well I I can't believe you fake your own death what kind of psychopath does something like that me cuz I wanted to see who really cared about me and turns out it was John Jan and long schlong Simmons oh boy did you hear what he said up my funeral damn it was like it was like my casket was flooding in there wait m m hold on hold on at the hospital the machine said you flatlined you were dead oh well my hot stops when I get blackout drunk but then when I woke up in the morog I was like I'm back baby time to claim that life insurance policy okay you know what I'm not coming to any more of your future funerals from now on you're an ass come on Jonathan since you're my favorite I'll let you rub mommy's bunion yay what

Channel: Dr. Junior

Views: 263,329

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Id: 3oS7RAq-brU

Length: 180min 45sec (10845 seconds)

Published: Thu Dec 21 2023