WHEN YOU RUIN YOUR PARENTS DATE

oh this the one right here oh this this one damn that hurt the hell was [Music] that who that is who oh yeah just in [Music] case [Applause] woo punk ass up I ain't even hit you yet Dad what's going on everything all right no it ain't all right I caught this Heath and climbing in my window now about to bust his head open till he start screaming like a little siss your mama who you think Dad chill he ain't no Heathen That's My Boy Malik I told him me could come over well why the hell is Malachi coming through my window like some kind of criminal it's Malik I don't give a damn what your name is Matthew and D now what the hell I tell you about inviting people off my house without my permission I got Wars I got Ops I got people trying to offer me what you hey man you just call me darell shut up boy you know what I meant hey bro why you dress like a big old bottle of grape juice man you shut your mouth you already on stri too hey n for real dad you fresh though where you about to go uh well um not that is any of y'all business um but if you must know I um got a lady friend stoping by oh now old man got some game don't he this old man got gats too hey that's what's up Dad how you meet her oh I met her at the gas station mhm she was throwing up behind the pump see coming to find out she ate some bad fish M got food poisoning mhm yeah she she she was damn bad she she was tore up I'm talking about she was just throwing up and farting all over the place it it was actually pretty sad well what you bring her back here for because she was nice and she got ass anyway the point is for the next couple hours I'm going to be busy now I was unaware that we was going to have guests so all I ask Darnell is that you keep your company in line who the hell is Darnell if you embarrass me in front of my company I will shove this club so far up both your ass oh oh Lord getting ready all right listen she going to be here in about 15 minutes me and her going to be out back on the patio under no circumstances do either of you come outside do you understand okay but what if I got if you step one foot out that door after I just told you not to do so I will snatch the screen though off the hinges and beat you with it do you understand yes Dad we understand all right Malcolm you looking next time I'm knock your head loose you ain't going to have no Motion in your neck going be going be do like this my name is Malik I'm just saying you know wrong with him climbing through my window knock your head smooth off boy you don't know you play with I tell you next time bro just use the Dell why would I do that when I could just let myself in you see what I'm saying that's stupid man you a trip bro I nothing up in here I go to the grocery store hey what you been up to though I ain't seen you in a minute shoot nothing for real same old same old you know what I'm saying shoot my girl tripping like always but that ain't nothing new dang what happened man she mad cuz I sold her dog what you sell a dog for because I needed the money and I told her that what you need the money for well you know them new Js just came out and I was like $100 short so I I I had to get the money from somewhere man you sold her dog for some shoes bro see she be saying that too they not just shoes bro they Jordans put some respect on that man name bro for get swung on in this m bro for real but she be all right dog was aggravating anyway all right all right let's do Michael have you lost your damn mind first of all who the hell gave you permission to open up my fridge and secondly what possessed you to put your crusty lips on my damn juice carton oh damn my fault I thought for everybody why would you get that bottle out of there anybody trying to drink your back wash all right bet say no more shoot if you ain't going to drink I might well finish I swear to God I'm I'm about to go to jail I'm about to go I ain't got time for this I swear for Lord I hey bro where the bathroom at who you think you hey bro uh first door on the right all right bet hey up throw some trash for me appreciate that D come here huh what's up Dad get you out no daddy ripping my jacket what the hell is this some kind of joke or something what what you talking about you trying to get rid of me ain't you what you mean get rid of you you trying to make me hurt boy so I can go to prison and you can flee the country with all the money in the safe you ain't slick that what you talking about what's safe I say huh oh nothing nothing never mind Dad what's wrong with you you all right no I ain't all right you got this boy in here climbing through my window going in my fridge drinking my juice how the hell I [Music] [Music] supposed and now he blowing up my toilet oh hell no he got to go okay okay okay Dad I'll talk to him you better talk to him I ain't got time for this today I'm trying to keep my composure but I'm about to snap okay I will Dad boy listen now it's time you become a man don't you ever let nobody come into your house and act like they own it you need to set some boundaries and if you don't I know I know Dad if I don't set some boundaries then you will and no what I was going to say was if you don't I'mma knock the hell out of both of you and if I knock the head out of both of you I'mma go to prison and if I go to prison I'mma get out I'mma come back I'mma knock the head out of both of you again for sending me to prison in the first place then I'mma go back I'mma come back out and do the same thing over and over and over again and it's going to be a never- ending cycle I ask weopons for the both of you do I make myself clear yes sir good got my heart ready up woo hey I don't know who purple towel that is and there but y'all Ain have no tissue so if I was you I just go ahead and throw it away cuz what I did in there was hot I'm talking about put holes all in that towel oo Lord have Mery God damn shees Lord I ain't got I ain't got time for this Lord I ain't got I'm trying my hardest woo hey I ain't going to cap y'all might well go ahead and board this bathroom up this area contaminated yeah boy boy boy I feel hey bro real quick I need to talk to oh my God the hell you been eating oh my God smell like death thanks Steve now if you take a look at our D radar here you can see that we going to be in the 30s all week so it's going to be about cold as a penguin titty just joking anyway so we're going to be in about the 30s man watch your mouth you can't say that on TV Hey cuz shut your ass up you see me doing my broadcast you see I'm doing my j i I bet you w't say in my face though Steve what them hands do Steve what I'll embarrass you on the TV and I put that on guard what what the hell wrong with I can't stand the news bro always something negative tornado this hurricane that Criminal on the run all right we don't care we got our own lives about you know what I'm saying you know what little boy I had about enough oh she here she you you I'mma choke the hell out durl durl my guest has arrived which means I won't be able to keep my eye on things around here remember what I told you don't let this Dad Dad Dad you good okay you you go ahead I got it hey you got it po looking like a black bony appreciate that hey bro real quick uh I don't know how you do St at your house you know what I'm saying but you can't just be going oh bro I know you had a PS5 yeah yeah yeah I um I got it a couple months ago oh yeah but you know we got to run that thing up yeah yeah for sure for sure we definitely will you know what I'm saying uh but first I got something important what you scared of something you said what I mean if you scared I'mma beat you at your own 2K you know what I'm saying just say that hey I don't blame you I'd be nervous too if I was playing me you know what I'm saying B let's go then let's go hey say no [Music] more [Music] well good afternoon you look absolutely beautiful this evening come on in and make yourself comfortable oh yeah now let me know what you think now I cooked up something real special for [Music] you [Music] no absolutely not ah get big you can't see me I done told you that I done told him that uhuh uhh no don't get quiet now you was big and bad a minute ago was you man whatever you sorry where you going you ain't quitting that fast are you what nah I'm I'm just about to grab something real quick that's it oh all right bet you know what it's actually funny to say that I played Sports back in college yeah I played football you you can probably tell by this amazing body of mine yeah I played for the um the Panthers back in the day you know I was that good but they cut me they cut me said I was outperforming everybody on the team but you know how that go you know how that go when you the money I'm sorry just give me give me one second what's up Dad how the day going so far Marcus what the hell you think what the hell you think you doing shoot I'm hungry I was trying to find something to cook up in here I can whip up DET turkey real quick didn't not tell you stay in my refrigerator exactly I ain't in the refrigerator I'm in the freezer that's not what you say you should be most pafic well I tell you what how about I specifically shove my foot up y'all dad dad go ahead back outside I got it well you better get it then bro come on man you can't just be going through people stuff like that you're not at home and you messing up Pops date bro all right all right my fault let me just cut the stove off when I go sit down yes you go do that wrong with him all in my kitchen Like You on the place but it sit your little ugly ass down damn kid sorry about that I had to uh boo boo real quick now what we talking about I was trying to do y'all a favor bro if you need something just let me know bro you can't just be going to people fridge and trying to cook stuff on people stove you don't do stuff like that I mean I do that at home exactly but you ain't at home though all right bro I get it I got you I guess I just starve in bro you so dramatic bro if you that hungry it's some it's some chips over there on the counter you can have those all right bet just make it quick I got you bro see I don't use Tissa I recommend using wet wipes see cuz Tissa is rough see and so when you go to whitee it can scratch it yeah um wet wipes can just make the experience more pleasurable you see what I'm saying oh bro I meant to ask you bro I know you heard that new OG gigon nah I didn't know he dropped already bro that joint is fire oh he snapped on it bro he snapped cra D popped on it that was corny anyway bro you at least got let me play You One S all right bet go ahead and run it up oh I got you oh I got you wait a minute so you mean to tell me you ain't never whooped your child before woman you you missing out let me tell you something not only is it a wonderful feeling see it works see darl listen to me because he know I got this build in the back of my closet and it got thorns on the side of it I call it the slicer that thing have your ass cheeks looking like shredded letters and he don't want that he don't want that which is why he behaves he listen I keep it nice and peaceful around here you understand I keep it nice and [Music] Qui smok hey my bad Papa I was showing my bad dad he was just showing don't say nothing I don't want to hear nothing else matter fact cut cut TV off cut it off wait so what we supposed to do sit there in silence talk to the Lord or something smack him again you just go and smack him see if I won't throw you through that wall I bet not hear nothing else I don't want to hear a sniff a yawn a breath or nothing bothy just sit here and shut [Music] up can't do nothing see I'm trying to get my r on out here you said what I said you see I'm trying to get my r on out here you mean reiz damn come on dad what was that for what's so funny oh I'm your father don't you ever laugh at me you supposed to have my back hey you got it R rise Raz Dazz I don't give a damn what it is you see I'm trying to wo me a 100 100 see I'm trying to uh kick game get my Mac on or whatever just be quiet talking about r i don't need no r i I got sauce I'm the sauce Daddy I got that spaghetti sauce talking about he doing too much got my business what we supposed to do [Music] now excuse me one second what the hell was that nothing uh uh my bad dad we we we we we we we we was um we were throwing the football around and accidentally broke uh we broke a plate uh we we we accidentally broke a plate are y'all stupid or something are you stupid why would you throw a football in what kind of sense that I swear to God Dam if I got if y'all interrupt this date one more time if I got to come back in here one more time time somebody going to get hurt I don't give a damn who it is somebody going to get hurt and they going to get hurt real bad do I make myself clear yes sir do I make myself clear Maurice bro my name is B B all right all right all right sorry about that that was the last time I promise I'm done I'm done all my attention is now directed to you all right now tell me do you bite your toenails or clip them hey bro I'mma go ahead and get the ashes up for you all right bro what are you doing what I'm cleaning up the ashes why would you why would you vacuum it up because it's trash ain't it bro that it's not trash that's my great granddaddy ashes well hell he should have said something then he gone now hey you want to say your goodbyes real quick before I dump him what you mean [Music] wait a damn minute so so you saying if your child is acting up you just give him a little speech and put him in time out to think about his actions oh hell no see that that right there has got to be one of the dumbest things I ever heard of see that that's why your child in jail now because you were too scared to whoop his ass if you no uhuh uh Ain ain't no need in crying he should have been the one crying he should have been the one crying huh and now your sons are faing it don't make no you ought to be ashamed of yourself and you call yourself a parent I tell you boy the new parents boy I don't know how you do it I don't know how you do it hey bro so I ain't trying to make pops any more upset and I ain't trying to mess up like his whole date situation so I guess we can just go upstairs and chill in my room or something all right bet that's cool with me see these new kids is running rampant because of parents like you see see what you need to do is invest in a belt and I ain't talking about one of them little little Walmart belts I'm talking about one of them goddamn WWE championship title belts with the bet on in so when you go to swing it you um hey D I ain't going to lie bro I'm surprised pops even found somebody to go out with for real shoot we both know your daddy don't like nobody I mean that's not true I mean he he like people he he just don't like most people you see what I'm saying okay okay he Rocko right uh yeah yeah you cool and tell me why darl had the nerve to invite this ignorant little boy in my house this fool came climbing through my window he like empty the clip on his ass yeah I figured I I fig about how he be talking to me hea he probably see me like a like a second son or something right right yep I already knew it I already knew it hey D ain't that pops room right there yeah what hey BR you ever go in this room yeah yeah I went I went there once maybe like I don't know 10 years ago something like that oh for real hey what it's like in there what you mean what it's like it's a bedroom bro I can almost bet you he hiding something in there bro I mean he could be so what bro don't you ever just wonder like what type of creepy stuff he got stashed up in there like the other day I was my momma room guess what I found under her bed bro what the she had a jaar full of organs up under her bed a jaar of organs bro yes bro like it was livers in there kidneys a couple Hearts what the hell is she collecting organs for I don't know I was too scared to ask her c d but that's the point bro it's some things about your parents you just don't know and you ain't going to know cuz they ain't going to tell you so you just got to find it for yourself all right okay okay so what you trying to say then I mean I say we just go take a look bro I just said I'm not trying to make any more upset D how you going to get upset if he don't know he downstairs on the date and y'all ain't got no security cameras around here nowhere do you I mean not that I know of but still okay then bro we just going in to look we ain't going to break nothing all right bro D don't worry about it bro you can trust me I do this kind of stuff all the time we good this man always in this don't have friends like this Dam oh Lord I just got a chill must be a ass whooping coming what what you see man nothing in here stop being scary sheesh hey look at this bed though off the top rope frog Splash o there it go again must be a bad one all right bro see look ain't nothing here just like I figured so let's uh go ahead back to my room before before pops find out that we here you know what I'm saying a nothing here bro chill we ain't even looked around yet if it's something in here it's not going to be in plain sight we got to look for it you check in here and I'mma check the the bathroom in the closet all right bro I don't know if this a good idea D stop tripping bro we not robbing the place we just looking for stuff think of it like a like like a treasure hunt dang that man pops got you traumatized or something don't he whatever o what is this oh none of my business oh hey got the roller on my [Music] wrist that's a weird old man a nothing in here [Music] why you got so many belts you only got one ass hey D you find anything in there nah not really just a bunch of belts man I'm done with this I'm ain't I ain't no need even looking ain't nothing in here I already KN you a going to find nothing don't make no sense how let this man talk me into this every single last one of my friends just no good got me digging around my daddy room like some kind of criminal I ain't going to find nothing what is this it's like a key or something hey D bro I found it safe in the closet bro all we got to do is find a key with is that the key for this I don't know hey only one way to find out and let's see if it work I don't know bro a ain't this like invasion of Prophecy or something man ain't no such thing as prophecy give me the damn key for I smack you all right all right whatever here oh and by the way I just want to let you know you a terrible ass son what how the hell you let me punk you in your own house you you let me convince you to come upstairs sneak into your daddy room go through all his stuff and then you just toss me the key to all his personal belongings you you ought to be ashamed you a bad you a bad son you you a terrible Son bro or maybe you just a bad friend H nah I don't think that's it all right here we go I look at kids like cockroaches see every time you the hell going bro what this I know that where you get all this money from oh hell no they must really lost now they must really lost bro look at this beltman wait a minute is is that that's supposed to be pops yo [Music] what bro your daddy think he a superhero named [Music] beltman wa wait a [Music] minute it's beltman [Applause] [Music] daddy how hi how you uh hi how you do that what I think I oh [Music] Lord daddy wait I can explain damn kids wrong with these kids got me out here sweating Ming up my suit ah my bad my bad and you fixing my roof all right sorry about that you know how kids this heer took my food I know she ain't take did she take my damn cake I know she sh Wait least give me another chance that ain't my f what least give back my damn C see the damn [Music] [Music] kids what's your problem she left you ruin my date I ain't ruin nothing I guess you just ain't got no pool my back oh I ain't got no PO [Music] I bet I got P [Music] now

Channel: Darryl Mayes

Views: 517,904

Keywords: Darryl mayes, funny videos, funny sketch, sketch, youtube comedy, comedy, funny, sketch comedy channels, funny comedy, funny memes, short, skit, comedy sketches funny, longbeachgriffy, lenarr, Kyle exum, theeblackbadger, dtay known, shorts, WHEN YOU RUIN YOUR PARENTS DATE

Id: hlXPu6yQUOU

Length: 32min 27sec (1947 seconds)

Published: Sun Feb 25 2024