Sister in law demands I gift her my car because she has a baby and I'm childfree

[Music] background my brother and his wife met about eight years ago and got married four years ago they had their first child my niece in the summer of 2016. let's call my brother jack and my sister-in-law lindsay also my brother is my half-brother we share the same mom but different fathers before jack and lindsay met jack was engaged to this super nice girl named dinner everyone in my family loved anna she had a really good career path finished her four year was going on to medical school was good with money helped my brother get a better job helped him get into college late etc his father had passed away when he was 16 and she really helped him through that as well they had been together for about five years when jack proposed and right after they got engaged it had came out that jack had cheated on her about a year prior so she ended things i was pretty upset about this as was the rest of my family anna had basically become a part of the family she was like a sister to me she was there for advice taught me how to play piano she would come over and help cook with my mom and would help with my dad he's disabled after jack and anna broke up things started going downhill from there jack got fired from his job he caused a lot of damage by not following procedures got put on academic probation and kicked out of college this is all within one to two months all of a sudden jack brings home this new girl lindsay i came home from school one day and see lindsay at our house so i introduce myself yet she just awkwardly laughs and doesn't say anything i thought it was a little weird but overall not a big deal i'm kind of shy myself so i just thought the same thing about her over the next couple of years jack was still living at home so i saw and see pretty frequently i would usually try and ask about college her job travel etc all things that she had expressed interest in thinking that maybe we could talk usually i would get the awkward laugh accompanied by really short answers after about two years of this i started to give up thinking we would just never be very close with each other during this time other things happened though as well first lindsay has anxiety depression and abandonment issues this is obviously not her fault but she would go off of her medication and go absolutely insane at our house she stayed with us one weekend and my brother had to work one of the days just a short four-hour shift so he was gone from around 7 30 a.m to 12 30 p.m lindsay knew this before she came down but seemed alright with the situation about an hour before jack finished work lindsay starts calling him non-stop like 15 to 20 times on his cell phone which he can't have on him at work so then she starts calling his work phone non-stop which make his boss angry with him finally she gets a hold of him and starts screaming that if he didn't come home right that instant she was breaking up with him my mom tried to talk to her after while this happened asking if she needed something if she could help with something etc lindsay freaked out on her started screaming broke some picture frames and a glass shelf and got in her car and tore out of our driveway we later found out she had stopped taking her medication and that she also has bipolar disorder after that all happened we still tried to get along with her include her in things but she went off her medication several other times and had meltdowns at our house we were all just starting to get stressed out about her visiting usually 50 percent of the visits ended like the example i gave above eventually my parents say my brother needs to move out he was 24 and if he was going to bring someone into their house they needed to behave better so he moved about half an hour away to a bigger town and she had almost finished her two-year degree so she decided it would be a good time to move in with him when she was done with school my brother lived alone for about four to five months during that time it was like he was his old self again when i would go and visit him he had a nice cleaner apartment we saw each other two to three times per month and things were great i was happy that he seemed happier after she moved in with him things got bad it turns out she also has some issues with hoarding so it's somewhat a constant battle with keeping up with it my brother and i grew up in a house that was never super clean as in it looked lived in but it was never dirty though either it was more like someone threw a blanket on the floor or didn't put away a board game type of mess never a dirty mess the first time i visited their apartment i was disgusted they had been living there for around three to four months and you could tell the kitchen and the bathroom had never been cleaned the carpet had never been vacuumed it looked like she hadn't cleaned her cat's litter box in two to three weeks it was absolutely horrible also the piles of trash and boxes lindsay blamed it on the stress of the move but like come on all she brought with her when she moved was her clothes and some photos my brother had all the furniture and she left all her other stuff at her parents house i stopped visiting them at their house after that anyways now let's flash to the current situation i moved to the same town jack and lindsay lived in for school we live roughly 10 minutes from each other it's been like this for over four years they've not once invited myself or my parents over to visit or contacted us to do anything unless they want money or need something lindsay took out 100k in student loans for a very specific career path which is not prevalent in our area therefore she makes 12 dollars an hour and she only works 30 hours per week ever since my brother got kicked out of school and fired he had been working at walmart making around 12.50 an hour and he also works 30 hours per week they do this so that they always have someone home to watch the baby i'm currently still in college but i was able to land a job in my field before i graduated and i make more than both of them combined my boyfriend is 26 and he does as well therefore we live in a nice house that he purchased we both drive decent vehicles and we both are good at saving our money and living below our means let's flash forward to this past weekend christmas lindsay and jack do not show up lindsay does not like our family so for the past eight years they have never shown up to any family event jack will swing by the day after for about 20 minutes to ask for money and pick up their presents my mom has met her granddaughter five times in one and a half years she has been allowed to hold her once lindsay does not like my mom lindsay texts me saying that she wants to exchange gifts sometime soon maybe my boyfriend and i could take them out to dinner sometime which always means we have to foot the whole bill i say sure maybe sometime soon my boyfriend and i are both busy with work but we'll find time in the next week or so lindsay then calls me says i was rude for not picking a date for dinner right then and there i ignore it because i think she's being ridiculous she then goes on to say that i should give her my vehicle because they need and sub they drive to older cars her parents bought them for the winter since she has a baby and i'm child free i say no way i saved for my vehicle for three years and i'm not giving it to them for no reason she starts screaming that i'm a spoiled and hangs up on me i'm done i can't deal with it anymore they are both complete psychotic lindsay is obsessed with jack's ex she looks her up on facebook all the time tells everyone she's fat ugly etc which i always find a little funny because lindsay is obese whereas in it could maybe lose five to ten pounds not that she actually needs to my brother does nothing about the situation i thought they would get divorced by now but no also she planned her wedding for the day i graduated high school told me i couldn't go to my graduation ceremony unless my dad paid for their whole wedding then they would move it to the next weekend so i just got to miss out on all of my friends graduation parties instead of the ceremony gee thanks the only reason i'm struggling is because of my niece it's not really fair to her because she's the innocent one in all of this but i can't deal with those people anymore what do i do edit a few things have happened since this post so i figured i'd provide a small update i called cps after work today and spoke with someone she seemed pretty concerned after i went into detail about the living conditions and the mental health of lindsay when we were finishing up our conversation she let it slip that they already had something on file the way i took it is that someone else has also made a complaint not sure who though i will be emailing screenshots of texts and copies of text phone history to child services in the morning lindsay texted me today she wants my boyfriend and i to swing by their house friday night so she can cook us dinner and have family time since they never get to see us i said yes i'm quite interested as to what they are up to now i also want to get pictures of the inside of their house so that child services can see how they really live so basically the first thing i did was take the advice that most of you gave me i placed an anonymous call into cps i gave them as much information that i could mother is a hoarder goes off her medication etc they basically said they appreciated my call and that they would add it to her file when they said added to her file i started questioning whether or not this was the first time cps had been reported to of course the person i spoke to couldn't confirm that but i found that quite interesting anyways my boyfriend and i stopped by their house over the weekend for brunch and to exchange gifts to no surprise the house was absolutely disgusting but it looks like they had rearranged some of their stuff garbage so it was slightly more presentable than usual now they moved a while back and actually live on the third floor of a building where there are only stairs no elevator so i had an excuse to ask my brother to help me grab some things from the car lindsay was preoccupied with the baby and my poor boyfriend was left alone with her sorry as we made our way out to the parking lot we just made some small talk i asked him how work was going how the baby was etc eventually i asked him about how things were going with lindsay the answer i got was unfortunately what i expected she was going through some tough times struggling to take her medication having a baby was just adding to the stress and so on i said i understood but asked about how that was all affecting him he said he's fine with it that he's used to it by now and maybe as the baby gets older things will improve i asked him if he really thought things would get better eventually he said no i asked him if he was happy right now or if he's ever been really happy with the relationship he said no i asked him why he stays in a relationship that makes him unhappy he said he didn't want their daughter to come from a home without two parents and that he was afraid of what lindsay might do if he ever said he wanted to separate he said that the second item scared him the most i asked him if he felt like she was a he said that she is emotionally into him sometimes but never to their daughter and never physically to either of them by this point we both realized we had been gone a lot longer than we should have been so we started heading back inside i told him that our family would always be there for him if he ever needed anything and that we should try and schedule a lunch together soon he agreed to that and said while he appreciated my support he wasn't going to leave lindsay he didn't want to leave lindsay he loves her too much we get back inside and i excused myself to the bathroom to secretly take some pictures of the apartment when i heal in c yelling lindsay is interrogating my brother about why we've been gone so long what we were doing etc now i'm not really sure what she thought was going on but basically i was already sick of being there at that point we were gone maybe 20 minutes when it should've taken around 10 i started to rush things along said we should exchange gifts etc lindsay was of course mad my boyfriend and i only got my niece gifts and them a gift card to a grocery store i returned all their actual presents i didn't really care lindsay and jack did not get my boyfriend anything awkward but oh well i guess what was i expecting lindsay got me a paternity test set thing to see if i'm actually related to my father now this whole paternity thing is a joke in my family i don't look like either one of my parents so we joke about who my real father is that i was switched at the hospital etc there is absolutely no doubt my dad is my dad we have the same fairly rare medical condition along with several other things it's basically just at first glance i don't look like my mom or dad anyways i thought she was trying to join in on the joke so my boyfriend and i both laugh about it but then she hits us with it well your mom is a crazy w so i figured you'd want to know the truth okay so definitely not joining in on the joke i give my brother the test and told lindsay that maybe he should be the one to use it quite mean i know and my boyfriend and i got our stuff and left without saying anything else so basically that's our wonderful christmas story we swung by my parents house on the way home and told them what happened as well as that i spoke with cps my dad said he's called cps twice on them because of their disgusting lifestyle my mom was quite upset by everything that's happened but was supportive in our decision to leave i was able to get pictures to the social worker on tuesday they said that they were very helpful but left it at that i haven't heard anything about a visit so far i don't even know if i would hear about it but i'm really hoping that one happened soon lindsay texted me a couple days ago calling me a and said that i can't take a joke i haven't responded and i haven't heard from her since my parents have been married for a little more than 20 years they have five kids including myself we've always been very close and we are blessed to have them they're amazing my mom and dad are very supportive of us a few weeks ago i started noticing some changes in my dad like he would come home from work at around 3 p.m then he would eat lunch and go straight to sleep he wakes up in the evening and leaves the house and the routine keeps on going wake up at 7 a.m go to work come back eat sleep he rarely spends time with us anymore anyway a few days ago we were having dinner together in what felt like a long time i had to excuse myself to go to the washroom i saw that my dad had forgotten his phone in the bathroom i picked it up and i saw that it was unlocked and open on a conversation with someone i wasn't able to read the whole thing but managed to read will you pass by the store on your way and then another one we need milk i didn't know what to do so i just locked the phone and went back and gave it to my dad i pretended like everything was fine i confronted my dad the next day i told him that i read his messages and that i'll tell mom if he didn't explain himself he got so angry he started yelling at me saying that it's none of my business how is it none of my business when you're cheating on mom he calmed down after a while and he told me everything that that woman is his wife that she's his second wife and that he has a newborn daughter i felt like someone slapped me right then and there i was so confused and shocked and i just started crying he tried to calm me down and he kept saying he loves my mom so much that she's his first wife and he'll always love her more i mean i know for sure that he loves my mom but still this does not make it okay at all i then asked him who she is and he wouldn't tell me and said that if i ever try to contact her or tell my mom about her that he'll never forgive me and that i'm to blame for whatever will happen if i ever decide to tell her i can't believe he married someone after my mom i'm so angry at him i'm very close to my mom more so than my dad and i love her so very much i want to tell her about this because i don't want her to stay with my dad anymore i want to tell her but at the same time i'm so scared about how she'll react i've been crying myself to sleep ever since i found out i can't keep this a secret anymore i feel like i'll explode what should i do [Music] [Music] you

Channel: Ask Girl

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Keywords: reddit girl, reddit, reddit sister, reddit parents, r/askreddit, reddit entitled parents, r/entitledparents, r/girl, r/sister, r/, askreddit girl, askreddit, askreddit sister, askreddit parents, askreddit entitled parents, reddit sil, sister in lar, r/sil, askreddit sil, reddit sister in law

Id: KJo-U1n9PUw

Length: 18min 15sec (1095 seconds)

Published: Sun Jan 17 2021