Silicon Valley | Season 1-5 | The Best of Russ Hanneman

so this is the team whoa I'm just gonna say it this guy [ __ ] am i right cuz I'm looking at the rest of you guys this is the guy now it's doing all the [ __ ] am i right you know I'm right this guy ah thank you hey what's up al-qaeda not totally kidding I'm diffusing the tension with humor what tension that's tension of course not seriously no beheadings alright Russ Hanneman he doing [Music] Russ Hanneman true pleasure to meet you I watched your whole TechCrunch thing online twice that whole spaz thing you did was [ __ ] priceless so I called the Pied Piper number and somebody said you were heading over to hooli guy sounded like he was either Chinese or [ __ ] jinyang yeah I don't know what that means guys in this town don't have the balls to drive a car like this they're billionaires and they drive [ __ ] Priuses why I think mainly just environmental concerns they're all lemmings Richard everyone in this town is just look at them let me lemming okay you scratched my car it's the rivet my pants these are cool pants too [ __ ] that's a deep scratch that will not buff out [ __ ] [ __ ] eat this open your mouth look your mouth it eat it eat it don't you just let it dissolve hold hold hold now - choo choo it's very hot it's good good all of a sudden I'm 22 years young and I'm worth 1.2 B now a couple decades later I'm worth 1 point for you do the math inflation is like one point 70 I think CDs are 2% so that's less than a CD well no one ever got laid putting money in the bank am i right you know worried about the lawsuit [ __ ] no I got three nannies suing me right now one of them for no reason so come on let's do this let's kick Gavin Belson's teeth in at CES and when you're really worth something I'm gonna take you back to those same spineless VCS who said no and I'm gonna shove you right up their [ __ ] don't do what you should do do what you want I mean should I pay 800 bucks for that tiny piece of meat of course not but I do it anyway because I want it you're putting your entire future in the hands of the man who put radio on the Internet I can only assume that he mentioned that to you it may have come oh this guy that's the guy yeah that's that's the guy does he actually smile like that with his upper and lower teeth at the same time the guy is a joke how does he even do this a boorish pompous womanizing douchebag I like this painting is it sperm no three commas no one has three commas in it Richard a sentence with two positive phrases in it no a billion dollars yeah I'm in the three comma Club you know you play your cards right you could be in the three comma Club too but probably not but you could be but probably not you are a Jew biscuit alien actually Jew with the business my baby's got some ideas about Jews some good some bad oh hey there buddy hello who's this another board member Aspen it's time for bed I don't want to go to bed I'm sorry buddy it's not up to me I need you to cooperate Aspen ten nine eight seven six five four three good boy mask company I'm funding we call it the lady I press the button and the lady tells Aspen when it's time for bed time to take a bath when his [ __ ] mother's here to pick him up I get to be his friend and she's the bad guy I've disrupted fatherhood I said lines lines she's honestly so [ __ ] stupid functionally I'm just like you Jesus [ __ ] that's depressing right but you're still basically a billionaire not if you round down if you round down I have zero billion I remember the second I became a billionaire I was asked naked sitting right there just clicking and refreshing clicking and refreshing watching my stock rise and when it happened I popped the rod so fast I went blind for a full minute nutted all over those cushions I was the king now look at me dad where's mom your mom is with her friend Philippe they're in Napa she's gonna be a few hours these guys are gonna watch you okay watch out for the dog [ __ ] okay I gotta hit the road yeah he's going to Vegas oh hey buddy hey Russ look I've run the numbers 50 different ways and I just don't know how I'm gonna convert is this all I don't pay you to no no no what that's right I know you don't know I don't know what you know you don't know cuz I figured it out and you know what it's what I do why put radio on the Internet I'm putting the third comma back into my net worth and you don't have to do jack [ __ ] oh we have a contract we have a [ __ ] contract Richard you want to know what I have a [ __ ] car whose doors open like this now like this not like this these are not the doors of a billionaire Richard [ __ ] you [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [ __ ] you in the ass this is my own brand today skull mus you know that means in Spanish 303 commas we are going to drink to rebuild izing okay to rebuild izing to rebuild a nice that's it probably tomorrow would be fine fine after we have tequila what shots boys I'm in no no one's in what are you we're not doing shots right now Richard come on quit being such a [ __ ] and have some allow with your money guy you're not our money guys I'm no your money guys since weds since you stopped giving us money [ __ ] but I guess what really bums me out is that I thought I thought we got each other yeah you and my guys you know that guy bin Laden don't you worry I'll leave and I'll even leave you the tequila because that's who I am but before I go I want you to come outside and see something it's a a gift do you think Richard you like it oh wow I don't know what to say you got this for me what no it's for me about this for myself to celebrate you guys helping me get back to a billion that's why I came here to show it to you to say thank you not an [ __ ] you drove here with a bow on it no I put it on after I parked sets is single-handedly [ __ ] the future of this company there's nothing we can do with that make it stop make it stop make it stop it just stop deleting yeah the the tanks comas bottle was under on the Delete key it was the corner of it he was just just got on there Russ what what are you doing here in question what's got two thumbs and three commas this guy what yeah like 10 minutes after boy genius won his lawsuit your boss lady gave me a call we just did a deal she put me back over a B hmm means a billion yeah got it I got a lot of cars if you've won go for a drive sometime got my own does it go like this go like this No think about it they're checking in with your pensions [ __ ] me hey Reggie Oh God hey Russell what's up boy genius you here [ __ ] huh no no no no [ __ ] just here for the Vanity Fair dinner oh yeah I know that's stupid dinner a bunch of VC douchebags jerking each other off speaking of I got this girl at the bar I'm trying to take her up to the Presidential Suite before [ __ ] bridesmaids ruin the whole thing but they're telling me it's booked who is it is it Gore [ __ ] that guy oh god stop Pied Piper launched haven't tried it probably won't suddenly want to think about a [ __ ] that got missing out on her like Cher's [ __ ] he didn't mention anything about this to me of course not why would he it's [ __ ] humiliating losing all your money you think when I dropped below a billion I walked around telling everybody [ __ ] no you guys were the only ones who knew and I actually thought about having you killed I'm sorry what Laurie bream sweeps in [ __ ] blocks the whole thing she forces him to sell her all his shares you think she's gay maybe it hasn't come up we have you staying one night in a deluxe double okay do you have a tub in that one does Eve a tub in that room I don't know there's no way of telling you know what [ __ ] it I'm gonna take her to the W she's so drunk she won't know the difference see you around Ritchie [ __ ] yes I want to talk business what's the play let's [ __ ] this thing right in the [ __ ] thanks for meeting me here my [ __ ] nanny got another DUI and lost her license and I'm stuck picking up my own kid like an [ __ ] so what's up we're growing like crazy in fact that's why we need funding to keep up with the users and I think it could be really good if we can just keep it going no you don't what you don't like it you don't believe in this product you're selling it's like this you're trying to date a woman deep down in your heart you know you're gay but deep in your soul you know you would rather be plowing a dude I don't I don't what dude it could be any dude as long as you really want to [ __ ] him it could be a twink a bear an otter a circuit Queen a chub a puppet gibster a daddy chaser a leather man a [ __ ] if Donald Duck Donald Duck's a gay guy's been kicked out of the Navy the point is if you're gonna spend all day [ __ ] shouldn't Pied Piper be a dude you wanna [ __ ] alright let's do an exercise we've got unlimited diamond resources you can build anything in the world you want your compression anything at all what's it gonna be three two one go go go go he said I have unlimited time now now now a new internet what why if we could do it we could build a completely decentralized version of our current internet with no firewalls no tolls no government regulation no spine information would be totally free in every sense of the word you want to build a new Internet Richard I like it that I would fund well I I don't know if it's possible if this new Internet is the man of your dreams and this is the man that you want to [ __ ] then you need to [ __ ] him that man I will pay you to [ __ ] [ __ ] is that kid wait a minute [ __ ] they kicked us out of this place I'm at the wrong [ __ ] school Richard you find that man [ __ ] him good careful please do who's gonna peel out hey Russ hey Russ [ __ ] you Richard Hendricks [ __ ] me regarding it's all over the blogs you took our idea to Gavin Belson you told me to name an idea and so I named one that was my idea you were just standing there yeah pulling it out of you like a newborn baby okay but well if a doctor pulls a baby out of a pregnant woman the doctor doesn't get to then keep the baby okay first of all my ex-wife is [ __ ] the doctor that delivered my son and they're suing for full custody so you're wrong second of all this isn't a baby stop trying to change the subject Richard it's actually good that you're here because you want in and we need funding especially since no VC in town will touch us not even Monica's mean firm so Gavin pulls out and you want me to be your sloppy seconds it's always about my money isn't it well you are an investor so what else would it be about my idea it was my idea well then fund it yourself [ __ ] you Richard Hendricks [ __ ] you right in your little [ __ ] and not in the beautiful way like grandpa and Pedro I was such a [ __ ] [ __ ] when Bitcoin broke Richard if I had the balls I'd have put every penny I had into that [ __ ] five years ago watch the go up up up up up and then pulled out right before it all came crashing down again I mean Jesus why didn't I do that [ __ ] me you you did 36 ICS yep did they work you know one of the things being in the three comma Club has taught me Richard is it's not always about money sometimes it's about wisdom did I lose a be close to it but I bet I gain to be and wisdom so you lost it all one of them works one wine out of 36 yeah listen all the coin I had from the ico that worked was on a USB thumb drive and my dumb [ __ ] housekeeper threw out my jeans cuz they were ripped even though I paid more if the rip ones and the thumb drive was in the pocket so 300 million in crypto is buried out here somewhere the hunt oven shitty found it all day yes nope I said a thumb drive in the that's an actual thumb [Music]

Channel: Pickle Rick

Views: 1,985,103

Keywords: Silicon Valley, Russ Hanneman, Erlich Bachman, Jared Dunn, Jian-Yang, Funny moments silicon valley

Id: wGy5SGTuAGI

Length: 14min 28sec (868 seconds)

Published: Wed Jun 06 2018