DIRECTOR: And... Action. (SIGHS) I'm calling it,
action. ♪ (ENERGETIC MUSIC PLAYS) ♪ -Wow.
-(CHUCKLES) You son of a bitch. (BLOWS RASPBERRY) (THUDS) -Sorry, that was so stupid.
-(OFF SCREEN LAUGHTER) Why are you talking
about your dad's dick? You brought it up. (GROANS) I can't--
Not "up," the dick... I didn't do anything
with your dad's dick, -you're doing it all.
-I didn't do anything -with my dad's dick, either.
-(CHUCKLING) This is how you dance
in between the takes. This is how you dance
in between the takes. The insolent...
and fidgety hare... Now, Stewart,
you're never gonna work in Hollywood if you--
with that attitude. Evidently, he soaked a tampon
in green alcohol and inserted it
into his rectum. Butt-chugging,
that's what he called it. -(LAUGHING)
-I'm sorry about that, okay... He said, "Let's roll a keg
in our backdoor." "Let's drink some winey
with our hiney." (CHUCKLES) I'm sorry.
Uh-- He said to her,
"My butthole's a sommelier." Sometimes he gets nervous
that he's had too much to-- to drink,
and then he'll just fart -into a breathalyzer.
-(BOTH CHUCKLE) Tres Comas! -Please, Richard, no...
-Come on, you used to be such a fucking pussy.
(GARGLES TEQUILA) -GILFOYLE: Richard...
-Richard... -Richard, please.
-I can do it. (ALL LAUGHING) My uncle used to say, um,
"You look like someone starved a virgin to death."
(CHUCKLES) My aunt used to say,
"You look like, uh, the poster boy
for the gay mortician's union." (CHUCKLES) My uncle used to say, uh,
"You look like you got a makeover
from a gay embalmer." (CHUCKLES) Now we're dead-ass broke. Well-- Dead-ass broke is strong,
dead-ass poor-- -(LAUGHING)
-Dead-ass sounds really weird. Dead-ass broke is strong,
dead-ass poor is... -Fuck, just started hearing my--
-(CHUCKLES) Now you can't-- JARED DUNN: Sorry, sorry,
sorry, sorry. Well, dead-ass broke is strong,
dead-ass poor-- (LAUGHING) It sounds like
you're saying, "Dat ass, like... dat ass." -We can cut now I'm humiliated.
-(LAUGHTER) -(RUMBLING)
-It's a jet. Where are the contrails? Where are the fucking contrails? ♪ (BANJO MUSIC PLAYS) ♪ Oh, so now they've got
invisible contrails? You fuckers. God damn fucking NASA, uh, ETA,
(GROANS) -The FAA, the FDA, the--
-Freaking drunk in reshoots. -DIRECTOR: Getting close,
getting close.
-They put mind-controlled nano-bots-- They put
mind-controlled nano-bots in the Spam. You've been microchipped
and you don't even know it. You don't even know it. You want to see an alien?
Look in the mirror. I don't mind checking buttholes.
I mean, if it's gotta be done for a prostate exam,
I really don't mind it. If it works for you
to have a boss-- (LAUGHS) I'm sorry, I'm sorry--
I almost made it through. You never kiss me. MONICA HALL: I didn't know
you wanted a kiss. I want to kiss-- (CHUCKLES) I want to kiss in the mouth. (LAUGHING) In the mouth, I love--
Sorry, sorry again. I want to kiss on the mouse. -I want to kiss--
-(CHUCKLES) I want to kiss on the mouth--
(CHUCKLES) Fuck me! Sorry, guys. WOMAN: Ah, creepy!
Oh, sexy. You turned down
ten million dollars to keep Pied Piker...
Pied Pitiker... Pitiker, the biker... You are terminated. I told you not to make me mad! -(LAUGHING)
-I'm sorry. He's allergic to great takes. Is the main woman right? Erlich is in-- -RICHARD HENDRICKS: (CHUCKLES)
-You can't do that, Tom-- -I'm sorry.
-You can't-- I'm sorry, Jimmy,
I'm sorry, Jimmy. Mommy's back. (LAUGHS) You think I talked slow enough
on that take? (CHUCKLES) Richard, you can fuck me
all you want, -but you never fuck my guys.
-(ALL LAUGHING) Something happened. I'm not really good
with computers. -(FART NOISE)
-(CHUCKLES) Fuck.
Fuck. Fuck.
Fuck, sorry. (CHUCKLES) Hang on, hang on, hang on,
hang on... Hang on, hang on, hang on,
hang on... (ALL LAUGHING) Uh, right now,
I gotta slash our burn rate in half, figure out
our four-quarter projection... -(CHUCKLES)
-(LAUGHING) Fuck this stupid little show! -(LAUGHING)
-(STUTTERING) -(LAUGHING)
-(INDISTINCT CHATTER) ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
