Silicon Valley S1 (HBO) - Compilation

[Music] photo time out back let's go ah guilfoyle okay off to the center a little bit like your personality duh no no no Dinesh leave it unbuttoned we want you to look like [ __ ] thanks for a better before photo but you're wearing a jacket yeah because I'm the genius marketer not a code freak like you guys besides I'm wearing sandals so I am a conical assing a little bit oh good Jerry oh the [ __ ] is with that best right over here as if you're sort of a late addition that may not stick around for the entire duration of the company and then Richard there you go the man of the hour okay I'll take a few like this and then just Richard and I because at the end of the day people only want to see a picture of the board members it it actually it's um you're not going to be a board member what [Music] it's now 5:35 p.m. and I'm ingested the psilocybin I've started the countdown timer and I'll be reaching Senora and Nirvana in approximate oh [ __ ] me and I'm sorry wait Jared what are you doing here fine yeah who's watching the booth yeah I thought that maybe Monica could she's not in the company we need her here that's the thing all right everybody this run-throughs for essential personnel only essential only oh I mean we need someone in the booth or something right you're essential to the booth right thanks for coming in Nelson mr. Belson is very excited to meet with you I thought he was in Jackson Hole this week yes he is we're going to call him up on the telling you man it's amazing it's holographic 3d teleconferencing technology that we've acquired it's going to feel as if Gavin is right here in the room with you oh it's him it's him hello Nelson Thanks for meeting with me whoa hi that's cool my hologram over there - what now of course not mr. belt mr. Wilson you hear me hello can you hear me yeah it's just it's sort of fading hello hello I'm hearing you it's just the images Elson shut up for a second if you can hear me make a gesture is it do you I hear you is this I have no idea what you're saying Nelson Ola Nelson can you help me please okay I think what happened was when you set it up you four nights I didn't set it up I paid one of you people to sign up just fix it uh-uh okay here's the thing it's not working um the audio is still working you could just use that the audio is working excuse me I paid 20 million [ __ ] dollars to acquire this company [ __ ] you the audio is working audio worked a hundred [ __ ] years ago you [ __ ] piece of [ __ ] it appears we've lost him yeah why don't we just write hooli chat instead yeah ah that's better sorry the tele human is a great piece of technology unfortunately the broadband isn't that great out here in rural Wyoming that presents a great business opportunity nuts to make a gesture hear me Oh for [ __ ] sake I think you forgot to update your software goddamn it oh hello hello hi Gavin what's that I'm I'm sorry you're kind of breaking up there huh hello hello gentlemen this is Tara hey Tara this is the fellas Jared Dinesh Erlich and Richard Zurich oh it's great to finally meet you guys all right Jesus where did he get amy winehouse from you know I have sex with that if you hose the Gilfoyle off of her so weird having a girl in the house a very strange energy hmm look what you do inside the house is your own business no we're gonna no no definitely not do that that is you is it not the individual on the right yeah you're gonna need to paint over this oh I don't think the artist would like that he's Latino hmm was that racist are you asking me oh I mean I could have asked anybody but you're doesn't matter I have a solution you put it up we don't put it down no no no closet oh look at this left from the previous tenant unbelievable I can't believe I didn't enter the garage until this point I mean it's that marijuana's we're gonna need to take those or we leave them and wait to see if the criminal returns to the scene of the crime you see what he's doing right he's trying to get us to compete so we work faster he thinks this wall of psych 101 MBA mind-control [ __ ] is going to motivate us fine don't compete to them and whatever speed you like huh I know these guys I really don't think scrum is gonna work for them okay we'll just trust in the system so we're gonna work at a nice leisurely pace right sure but why are you tapping faster I'm not maybe my leisurely pace is just a little faster than yours [ __ ] Oh driverless car select destination hi um I'm going to five two three zero Newell Road hello Alto route guidance calibrated distance to destination four point six miles buckle up please okay enjoy your ride I eat a fish I understand you eat the fish but when you clean the fish you can't just leave the fish head and gut some [ __ ] in the sink because the whole house smells like a bait station so gotta put it in the trash and then take the trash out dear Stan yes I eat the fish [ __ ] [Music] destination override new destination one gregory drive air a long distance to destination 4126 miles enjoy your ride umm what's happening I'm sorry would mr. car this is Monica I'm gonna catch Jerrod quick question Jerrod I can't talk right now one of our assistants has been confusing the eastern and western time zones of airline on work orders now a bunch of important things are happening a day early Peter is going to be furious he finds out he's gonna make that noise oh [ __ ] that's him on the other line I gotta go oh wait Monica I just hi Peter [Music] hello Monica um car mr. car yeah excuse me airline is an island so probably um oh no no no no stop let me out [Music] um ah that's not good oh no no excuse me please sison please huh no no please please oh that's not good okay stay calm 103 hours to destination entering sleep mode what enjoy your ride no okay stick huh stick wait my phone no bars no purse no personal bars the pool cleaner comes do you understand yes tomorrow's trash day so make sure all the cans are up front yes now you are under no circumstances to order any movie on-demand adult or otherwise yes okay as anything that I've just said confuse you yes god dammit Jesus cher are you bringing your whole closet I'm a pro Dinesh I won't apologize for it I dress according to the moods that I sense in the room as such I must have options we all packed and ready to go we can take my car but gas is on the company you ready are you ready for the ultimate tech startup competition let me hear it this runs a few flyers that's all we have yeah I think it is oh wow micro drones they just closed 70 million in seed funding and we're making the world a better place we're software-defined data centers for cloud a better place through canonical data models to communicate between and a better place through scalable fault tolerant distributed databases with acid transactions and we are truly local mobile social were completely so mo low and we're melosa Lobos so bro we were so low mo but now we're mo low so no mo so low no what's the deal I'm initiating machine hot yeah I mean she's attractive but almost every woman is attractive it was her mind she wrote this Java method that was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life elegant height there's just something so hot about a woman that can code like that you know I just want enough frontal lobe and playing from behind here I put together a little secret weapon I am I went through the entire list of conference participants and I found images and I found BIOS and I printed them out so we have them all in one place why did you do that um okay who's this guy watch he is Rick Smith co-founder of cross-cut ventures how did you ID keen it's this facial recognition app that Monica put on our phones you just pointed that anybody tells you who they are and how important they are to the conference you're not showing up at all yeah maybe I'm not getting us no I'm getting a signal okay uh Oh Jared Jared uh Recycling's over there hey so what's the deal you judge him or not I don't know Monica he's toying with me microwaves only penetrate the top layer of skin cells I don't believe you it can't be safe thank you I've been testing it on these guys all winter and they're fine let me just demonstrate it to assure you [Music] whoever's doing this no thank you I've called Pied Piper tracking the location of your child I can follow your child anywhere and there is nothing you can do to stop me most missing children are never found interested very interested or very interested mmm

Channel: vorace17

Views: 150,776

Rating: 4.7161288 out of 5

Keywords: HBO (TV Network), Entertainment (TV Genre), Silicon Valley (Region), Comedy (Theater Genre), Silicon Valley (TV Program), funny moments, compilation

Id: coZQcMOf5LA

Length: 13min 51sec (831 seconds)

Published: Sat Jan 17 2015