Erlich & Wives - Silicon Valley

have to knock them dead in the preliminaries tomorrow so we can move on to the finals on Friday I have a question the program says that Dan Meltzer is judging our round is there any way to get him removed not unless there's a conflict of interest well there may be I did have sexual intercourse with his wife what it was three years ago so one of the guys judging us wants to [ __ ] kill you maybe I don't know if he found out either way Richard you may have to present instead of me so be prepared seen quite a few nude companies spinder it's like tinder but for spinsters elderly women looking for sex [Music] what's he like bro you're my bro or was he like I want to shoot you in the face and watch you bleed out all over the stage cuz you [ __ ] my wife you [ __ ] right in the middle it was like huh hey what's the deal do the judge him or not I don't know Monica he's toying with me or maybe he's not I can't [ __ ] figure it out you need to stop this his wife is here grow a pair and talk to her find out for sure why don't you grow a pair and I'll talk to her [Music] [Music] yes oh sorry um I must not have the right room I'm looking for Dan Melcher yeah that's us oh it is okay I was looking to speak with his wife that's me and well that's new wife we just got married Oh congratulations what happened with Madeline your friend of dance yeah we we have a common interests many common interests yeah well she was a nightmare pills in and out of rehab had all of these disgusting Affairs you know the divorce nearly killed Dan really disgusting Affairs well I feel terrible no it's fine he's put it behind him no limit I mean every aspect of it mm-hmm well that is great to hear gentlemen I bring good tidings turns out that Melcher is divorced remarried and has put the previous relationship behind him completely problem solved that's great it sure is Richard it sure as hell is look at these poor [ __ ] is there any sort of discount kind of break you can all right hello again oh hi you know that was really sweet of you to be so concerned about down he really has been through hell well it's the least I could do how did you know Madeleine again Oh long story yeah Anton min I'm curious you know what keep it open have you ever cared too much the hell is early he wasn't with you guys this morning all right let's light this candle where the hell have you been uh it's been some development you know I [ __ ] melters old wife I [ __ ] his new wife too what don't worry he's not gonna find out I left way before he got back last night and then I didn't go back to smarting until 20 minutes after he'd left you went back how many times you can [ __ ] this woman ye olde wife or the new wife good new wife last night or this morning early ik what were you thinking this is kind of a big day today relax he's not gonna find out she's not gonna tell him how the [ __ ] do you know that because she'd have to be crazy to tell him and I asked her point-blank if she was crazy and she swore to me no she's not crazy Pied Piper you're up let's do it Erlich Bachman presenting Pied Piper [Applause] [Music] since the dawn of time mankind has sought to make things smaller but until now I think he knows on behalf of the entire disrupt conference I would like to apologize for what happened out there this afternoon this man will will never be asked to judge again I just learned that he's been fired from Oracle and apparently his wife left him anyway I just got a call from your attorney mr. Laflamme informing me that in his view this incident is actionable and in addition to holding TechCrunch liable for any damages which may include the loss - Pied Piper of potentially billions in revenue and share value he may be naming me personally in a lawsuit so I would like to propose that we put this incident behind us legally speaking by sending Pied Piper directly through to the finals of startup battlefield where you will compete for the grand prize me do all the talking and also the tech will talk if people just look at what we're offering I think they'd be blown away perhaps we need a new angle I'll fake a seizure what Pied Piper hi I'm Liz tinsdale head of compliance here at fiduciary General Erlich Bachman and Richard Hendricks are we all here yes yeah we are uh sorry full disclosure Gavin Belson has left the company oh oh I see his loss he won't be sitting across from someone as charming as yourself this afternoon will he helps me well I mean you did come all the way here so why don't you follow me and follow you to the end of the earth shall we what you guys have to understand that companies like ours are particularly risk-averse is it a slight Idaho accent Liz Montana actually even better a big blue sky state well I knew you had to have come from above Liz you have beautiful skin thank you listen I I think I know what he's gonna say but let me see if I can pull my CTO in here reel it in a little we were trying to make a business deal and not get you laid I'm not trying to get laid Richard clearly she has a lot of pent-up sexual energy likely from working in this worm farm so that's the angle I'm taking since I'm not allowed to have a seizure besides she's going too bad for us you should be thanking me the CTO is on the way yes because of the technology and because of her business proposal but can you just please for once keep your dick out of the equation I really wish I could but my dick is the abacus upon which this equation this is our CTO Oh hello I'm Dan Meltzer nice to meet you yeah hello hi Dan do you guys know each other no I just said my name was Dan that's how he knows I don't need to waste any more your time with this why don't I I'll take this one from here what the [ __ ] are you doing here very rude Daniel although what can we expect after TechCrunch Disrupt when you sucker punched me in the goddamn face [ __ ] my wife I [ __ ] your wives plural both of them are like the customer's always right so let's just leave it at wife singular and be done with it okay I need you to listen to me very carefully it took me a very long long time to get back on my feet after I got fired from Oracle and tech firms wouldn't touch me but I've managed to find a home here a life yeah okay it's insurance it's not ideal but you know it's something and I don't care whatever it is that you're selling here I'm not buying it well it's a pretty groundbreaking technique the [ __ ] up okay yeah look at me never gonna happen okay never going to Dan did you give the dogs a medicine this morning uh no was I supposed to yeah because remember I had to go back to the restaurant to get your card that you forgot uh yeah sorry I mean I guess I could run home you two married oh no not yet we're engaged well it's nice to meet you both bye now is all right bye honey Oh tan tan dan dan dan melter the guy who beat the piss out of you the very same I looked him dead in the eyes and I said Daniel I [ __ ] every wife you've ever had care to go three for three needless to say he did not you don't come off in that story as well as you think you do so to avoid being thrice made a cuckold he agreed to a deal well not yet Melchior actually signed off on it but his fiancee wanted to certify that what we're trying to build complies with their data handling and security protocols we're reviewing it all tomorrow I can't wait tomorrow the real fun begins [Music]

Channel: lol Valley

Views: 2,591,229

Keywords: Dan Melcher, Silicon Valley, Dan Melcher Wives, Dan Melcher's Wives, Erlich Wives, Erlich Wife, Erlich Bachman, T.J. Miller, Jake Broder, Pied Piper Wives, Pied Piper Wife, Silicon Valley Wives, Silicon Valley Wife, Grace Melcher, Lynn Chen, Richard Hendricks, Thomas Middleditch, Erlich and Richard, Silicon Valley Funny, Silicon Valley HBO, Daniel Melcher

Id: m7EqMtLpU3c

Length: 11min 0sec (660 seconds)

Published: Sun Oct 22 2017