These Are The Signs You're Dating A Narcissist

are you dating in a total jerk? well, if you are you might be dating a narcissist I am here to tell you how to spot a signs of a narcissism is a Dr. Ramani. Dr. Ramani thanks for being here to talk with us about dating a narcissist My pleasure, thank you my favorite kind of topic. Why is this your favorite kind of topic? You know what is it It's a curiosity to me. I started working with a lot of clients who were i hate the word ,,victimize" but who really hurts by this relationship and I saw a pattern and I though wow we got to help this people but in a systematic way so not only did i really get to helping them but it all culminated in a book that was meant to help everyone who is struggling with this issues but it was remarkable to me to look in a narcissistic relationship and essence it's like looking into the mirror and nothing is looking back at you. U, good metaphor. Am ,,Should I stay or should I go'' is your book about narcissism. What is, or what define someone to be a narcissist? A narcissist is, lets talk about in terms of sort of the key or kinds of pillow it's a person who lacks empathy who is really entitled, meaning that they expect special treatment to be giving to them but nobody else They are very grandiose they harbor a huge of fantasy they only want to affiliate with people they think as cool or as interesting as they are. They are very superficial. They are very concern about their appearance and the appearance of the people around them. I've always thinks of them as beautiful facade with not a lot behind them. They don't regulate their emotions very well They are very prone to thrown a tantrums, getting angry very quickly, specialy if they dont get their way and they can be really hipper sensitive to criticism So those are some of the key elements we see in a person who is narcissistic. And just because someone has one or even maybe a two of those does it make them a narcissists. In fact in my book I have 30 characteristics so we can go all the way. So then how many would I have to have to be a narcissist. I would say that six I gave you I expect to see all the six really to call someone a narcissistic and the longer list for example they tend to be jealous, they engage in something called ,,Gaslighting'' where they literary doubt your own reality leaving you feeling like you are gone crazy they don't tend to be very loyal, they do tend of throw temper tantrums, they get pleasure out of misery in other people. They are kind of mean - Lets explain Gaslighting a little more. What is that look like? Gaslighting looks like literary like I said when somebody kinds of denies your reality, so you might say something like I feel really sad that you really say that to me, and they said something like you have not rights to say that you have no rights to feel that way or they say something you are having an argument with them and they will had said something terrible to you couple of days before and you say, Listen when you said that, they will say I've never said that and so it's literary like they denies your reality and when somebody says I never said that most normal people tend to question of themselves - Mmm.. And so, in fact I've always say one of the ringers that you're in a relationship with the narcissist who is gaslighting you is you started to feeling the need to voice record your conversation with them so you can play it back to them,I always say when you feel like you need a voice memo in your relationship it maybe time to get out -Ok. I have been in a relationship where I thought I am gonna record our next conversation because You are just not believing that what has been said has been said. Gaslighting. Wow. But that not necessarily mean that that person was a narcissist. No that can be a lot of parts. But yeah but it could be a key indicator Yeah this is hard for a lot of people I feel like because we do in our society throw around that term all the time You know You get mad at somebody and say..well they're being narcisist well, they want to have dinner at eight, they are narcisista, no they just want to have dinner at eight,you know...-right. so this type of factors really help people narrow it in when they're narcisists i'm really curios on... when two narcisists date each other in your practice, you're a clinical psichologist you talk always people what is that relationship look like? it's basically a psichological cage fight i mean obvously..- ahahahahahha i souldn't have been laughing, because it affects lot of people i know it's fascinating because what ends up happening is nobody's empathic, nobody's listening, and they're not playing with each other they're kind of playing by themselves everything actually goes well for a while because they really care that the other one looks good so they can deliver on that- they only care that the other one looks good ..because it makes them look good this... this is like the guy "i need a hot girlfriend" you know .. it's that kind of a modelo of ...like.. i need to look good, my partner makes me look good so, it's a sort of .. almost is larger than life kind of... almost toopretty couples that you sometimes...make you wonder what is a .... looking so good? don't... don't we want a partner who makes us look good? no. we want a partner who makes us feel good. -mmm there's a difference. - there's a big difference so i think that what ends up happening is that when the first time one person made up two narcisists togheter frustrates the other then it all breaks lose so it gets to be .. when the fireworks go they go.. big.in this kind of relationships i always say let the narcisists al cobreed then we kind of ... get them out of normal dating supplies just don't reproduce ok so... you have this two narcisists that are dating toghether.-right. - have you ever seen a couple each of them were a narcisist and they both admit it that they were both a narcisist.-absolutely did those relationships succeed?- no. no i'll tell you what happens is that there's... a point wich, i will tell you, there's a number of people i work with who have admitted straight up "i'm a narcisist"i know it and now i can see how is affecting ...usually it would be kids... or family relationships or their intimate relationships and they wanna do the work but they don't recognize having almost childlike

Channel: MedCircle

Views: 2,463,336

Rating: 4.9141612 out of 5

Keywords: medcircle, dr. ramani, dr. ramani durvasula, ramani durvasula, mental health, narcissism, dr ramani, narcissist, narcissism test, narcissism and relationships, dating a narcissist, signs you're dating a narcissist, kyle kittleson, narcissist test, narcissistic men, narcissism in relationships, narcissistic relationship, narcissistic husband, gaslighting, ted talk, dating, abuse, relationships, psychologist, psychiatrist, psychology, mental illness, interview, video, discussion

Id: TLM94DnKkQo

Length: 21min 40sec (1300 seconds)

Published: Mon Jun 25 2018

Reddit Comments

[u/Eclectix]

This woman seriously knows what she's talking about. She describes my ex, our break-up, her parenting, and everything about the situation to a T.

[u/BERNthisMuthaDown]

The Narcissists you send this to will never watch it, but if you can manage to get them to see it, they'll immediately recognize themselves and get defensive.

[u/Cananbaum]

Does this also apply to men- or do men act differently with this condition?

Edit: watched a few of her videos... it’s like she’s describing my father

[u/kentucky_mule]

Wow! This is so helpful. How do I get myself checked out for Narcissism?

[u/hoopsrule44]

Can someone give a TLDW?

[u/MakitaFella]

My first wife fit this description head to toe, and then as time goes on the narcissism turns into an emotionally abusive cage that you feel you can’t escape. You feel you can’t leave because divorce is shameful, a sense of failure if you end the marriage, but got damn it gentlemen, if you are in one of those relationship, get out.

Guys if she doesn’t make you happy the majority of the time and on top of that is abusive to you, get the hell out of that relationship. Your future self will thank you for it, and there is no fixing or repairing a relationship with a woman like this.

The hardest conversations to have are the ones that must absolutely be had.

[u/liarliarplants4hire]

This is my ex / daughter’s mother. She fit the bill 100%.

[u/white_castle]

I once dated a girl who while getting to know her was a self-proclaimed narcissist. Ignored that because she was really hot. Later broke up with her because she demonstrated narcissist tendencies.

Also, it sounds like here that most people demonstrate it least one narcissistic quality, but does self-awareness balance that out?

[u/sajoser17]

Watches hoping I dont fit the traits. Realizes majority of reddit is narcissistic.