Signs Men Watch Too Much... (/r/AskReddit) Reddit Stories

ladies what is a dead giveaway that a guy watches too much porn when you sleep with him [Music] freaking like he's trying to jackhammer concrete reuse my comment from another ask reddit thread about guys and porn deep throating i'll give you a [ __ ] but don't force it down my throat constantly like in porn the next morning i think i'm coming down with a cold but really my throat is chased for days wasn't having hanky-panky but made out with a guy who shoved his hand in my mouth like i guess some girls are into finger sucking but having some dudes and washed hands stuck in my god was not fun literally tries to ram you in the ass full force thinking it's hot when in actuality all it did was take away my sitting privileges it's not a race to the finish dude calm down go easy on my butt it's the only one i got when they open up to a camera that isn't there they see man in porn frick from the side playing open to the camera so they adopt that method because girl seems to enjoy not realizing why he's at that sideways angle not as bad as some of the others here and nothing to do with having sex but was texting a guy i matched with on tinder and we were talking about our physiques i mentioned that my size was dd and he replied using one of my pictures saying they don't look like double d though i don't know what to tell you man but sorry my real life human deities don't look like hentai dd's edit typo if he is a random hook up and tries choking you or smothering you by covering your mouth and nose despite you pushing his hands away multiple times not like this has ever happened to me these are the kind of threads where i read about 90 of the comments jackhammering you till he finishes then asks you if you came even though he didn't even touch your [ __ ] when a guy rubs the lips instead of the clitoris i've seen that in porn all the time and i don't understand it the [ __ ] isn't that hard to find at all ask to do a deep throat exactly like those porn stars says it's not that hard and forced me even if i don't like it says that it not right that i must do like them shows me how to do it says that i'm too quiet that i don't moan or do dirty talks tl dr compare everything to porn want to act like they do in pawns i wanna make you squirt proceeds to violently rub [ __ ] like he's vigorously scratching records he hummed the intro music these comments are making me not want to have sex a co-worker's girlfriend would let him wear vr goggles so that he could be banging whoever he saw the assumption that i'm going to have olympic gymnast level limbanus if my knees haven't gone past my ears in a while i'm going to have to do some stretching first his idea of foreplay as you suck is pp it's been said many times before but apparently it's still relevant today learning to make love by watching porn is like learning to drive by watching nascar bdsm things choking slapping spitting name calling without asking jackhammering hard and long enough to bruise my thighs thinking i can ride cowgirl for more than 40 minutes without taking a break hanky panky that lasts four hours without anyone coming eating me out like a pudding cup treating my tits like a boppit not being able to look me in the eye only being able to finish by jerking off etc he asked me if i could hold one leg straight up in the air so we could do it standing up like i was some sort of circus yoga master it was one of our first times it didn't go well the best way to tell is when they ask for impossibly complicated positions and genuinely don't understand why you can't bend into a pretzel and take a pee pee in your ass like a human flesh light edit to add this is my most popular comment ever and i didn't want to go down for this in history but here we are when he gets mad at me because he can't make me come kiss is like a washing machine pushes your head down when blowing him wants to choke you immediately during dogger style once anal without lube wants to freak you till you squirt wants to go from [ __ ] ass mouth to any of the others without washing edit thanks for awards up votes and i think i should have said this before but communication is key during hanky-panky and relationships there's a difference in tone when asking do you like that comma is this position enjoyable for you comma and do you like that comma yeah [ __ ] i'm giving you this and please know we know the difference start with the first one and once we are actively enjoying the pp move on to that second one making zero attempt at foreplay or any kind of partner stimulation trying to use spit as lube then asking are you always this dry during sex to which i answered with a solid nope thinking that having a huge pp automatically makes them a hanky-panky god also trying crazy positions that don't even make practical sense thinking that ramming your cervix feels good for you then acts shocked when you roll over and cry from the pain when he's disgusted by women who have larger labia and thinks that it means they've had a lot of sex no foreplay he touches her for 30 seconds sticks a finger in to see if she is wet slaps pp on [ __ ] during hanky-panky he makes no sound comes rolls over thinks choking means crushing your trachea jackhammering everything no foreplay sessions that last hours when he fingers you but it's actually just him scratching the inside of your vagina like it's itchy assuming that you like being choked one of the biggest scares of my life was when a guy i was making out with grabbed my throat out of nowhere then said it was force of habit when i freaked out i had two experiences with guys who said they're finding it hard to special goo because they masturbate too much i know what you'll say maybe he just wasn't that into it but i think it's a real thing i hooked up with a guy who immediately went a little too rough dominating too quickly he hooked his fingers in my mouth threw me around harshly and just overall didn't care i was a little uncomfortable with how hard he was doing things i've seen pawns go slower than he did copying the grunts and dirty talk and the occasional slap in the face it's one thing if this occurs naturally or the partner has already expressed an interest but if it's the first time and they do any of this it's clear they're acting on what they think they should do rather than from experience some dudes seem to not understand that the best hanky panky involves a connection with the other person rather than putting on a show eater i have no problem with people watching porn i do too but porn and real hanky panky are as different as a soap opera in real life and it feels very weird when someone doesn't seem to get that assuming every girl wants to blow them and be sexually satisfied with just that coming on their face or breasts is stimulating enough the woman doesn't need any pleasure and dirty talk should include degrading names without asking if it's okay the instant jackhammer [Music] treating the clitoris as if it's a doorbell loitering around the dryer guys like this will try positions that look good on camera but don't really feel good they don't pick up signals from their partners either this thread is depressing he comes and dressed as a plumber asking for anal threesomes special glue on your face constantly playing the dj decks a little too enthusiastically eating you out for three seconds like they are licking the cream out of an oreo and expecting you to come i'm really surprised [ __ ] slapping hasn't come up yet guys that thinks stimulating you for like a minute is blowing your mind there's a certain way guys who watch a lot of porn will try to finger me and it's so consistent that it has to be from porn it's like two fingers slapping my [ __ ] almost it doesn't do much for me personally and we usually move on to better things but i've suspected for a while they got it from porn eddie just wanted to say don't be ashamed or embarrassed if you've done this it's nbd from my own experience hooking up with girls successfully can be challenging and personally i found it to be extremely intimidating especially because every girl is different or has different preferences the real solution is a lot of communication within reason ask her what she likes ask if something feels good go slowly etc you really can just google tips and techniques and that's a good place to start asking if you squirt he brought a fluffer with him keeps calling you stepsis these answers are awesome and relatable and hilarious most of the dead giveaways have already been answered you know so to make the menova did feel better here are some cringy ways porn influenced me as a young woman cringy dirty talk faking loud orgasms cause i thought it was normal and sexy hard and fast tugging hand jobs also no moaning at all like i get it you're the pinnacle of manliness and men don't make noises ever in porn but could i pretty please hear you groaning at my neck thanks eddie guys you do not have to moan if you are not comfortable with it that's the whole point of hanky panky tbh this comment was directed to people who don't do what they want out of shame or societal norms and even so that's completely okay too why aren't you moaning maybe cause it's three in the afternoon and your roommate is in the next room just because your pp enters me doesn't mean i involuntary start moaning when they try to take pictures without consent like yeah dude i get you've seen that in porn but ireland simply isn't done goes right for the butthole edit thank you for the awards kind strangers when you ask for foreplay and he pisses on you not washing your hands or trimming your nails before touching finger in the vagina nobody wants your freaking scraggly wizard nails ripping their [ __ ] apart anybody ever experience he wants to change positions every two minutes a lack of light and gentle erotic touch the kind that gives you goosebumps of pleasure as you explore each other's bodies with the focus on exploration of pleasure by the time he eventually makes it to my vulva i'm wet enough that we sort of just slip together without any effort on his part compared to the old spit on it and jamet in there when he insists on buying lemon tree insurance [Music] he was genuinely surprised when he was told that not all girls love giving blow jobs he thinks spitting on your ass is sufficient as a warm up a damp lubricant for anal sex [Music] when he's uncut and thinks he's ugly or when he thinks being a grower and not a show air is a problem like maybe it's just me but watching the olay turtle come out of its shell because dude likes me is a huge turn on he lays his phone on your chest while you're having sex and watches porn [Music] guys who think watch too much porn reading this thread write that down write that down when they expect you to look like a porn star cellulite completely shaved pawns to genitalia etc and of you don't they complain or show disgust when he makes it clear his goal is to beat it up and leave you sore which you never are more like annoyed and uncomfortable rubbing the general crotch area like a genie lamp is that your [ __ ] why are you well like that no bro it feels like you're giving my vulva an indian sunburn when your guy starts bouncing his pp rapidly on your [ __ ] before entering i once read that guys in porn do this to warn his co-star that he's about to enter whether it's true or not i don't know but it does make sense where it doesn't make sense is in real life where that rule isn't universal and it's just completely random being critical of normal stuff like having some cellulite body hair or little fat rolls in some positions i honestly think that for a lot of men if they came across women who did not shave wax or pluck their body hair they would think the woman is some sort of yeti or has some disorder that makes them overly hairy some of these have been mentioned but spitting on a girl for lube like long range hawking at my vagina no sir abusing the [ __ ] like he's a dj no stroke technique he's just straight in and out if he's feeling fancy he will just go faster porn isn't centered around women's pleasure so they don't know angles or hip movement dirty talk is porn catch phrases like growling oh yeah now i feel like i'm having hanky-panky with a kool-aid man edit clarification about being sped on edit about stroke technique if your hips are locked then you're just jabbing your pp in and out and only hitting one angle which may work for some women if you move your hips while you thrust you hit more angles better chance of clear stimulation so she can come think of a digging motion or small circles like a hula hoop hi there look if you enjoyed the video well why not go ahead and hit that like and subscribe to reddit stories in fact if you want to see even more responses to this thread well then take a look there's the link in the description below and remember show some love to those authors while you're there and i look forward to seeing you next time [Music] so [Music] [Music] um [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] do [Music] do [Music] so [Music] you

Channel: Reddit Stories

Views: 306,099

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Keywords: reddit, askreddit, askreddit funny, top posts, top posts of r/, r/, r/askreddit, reddit top posts, reddit cringe, comedy, reddit compilation, top posts of all time, askreddit question, askreddit top posts, ask reddit, askreddit reading, subreddit, reddit stories, best of r/askreddit, funny reddit, best of reddit, emkay, ToadFilms, funny askreddit, askreddit stories, best reddit posts

Id: wCV0zCegevM

Length: 18min 43sec (1123 seconds)

Published: Thu Jul 30 2020