"She came down the walkway during recess" - (r/AskReddit)

our slash ass credit teachers what is the most NSFW thing have you done in your classroom okay I'm not proud of this but here we go it was my first year teaching high school English to a bunch of thugs I was only a few years older than some of them near the end of class two guys are arguing loudly and I tell them to knock it off they ask me to settle their arguments for them this on kid let's call him Greg says mr. Cano head if some guy puts a gun to your head and tells you to give him a [ __ ] you'd have to do it right Greg I say that's not a conversation to have during class the whole class is listening intently now well says Greg if someone put a gun to my head and told me to give him a [ __ ] I'd do it well Greg I said I'll remember that the next time I have a gun the class erupts in laughter somehow I don't get fired I'm a student but in my seventh grade English class my teachers boob fell out of her dress when she bent to pick something up teaching a science class about goats and sheep to show the kids middle schoolers and high schoolers the animals up close we planned on going to a livestock auction to prep them for the auction I told them to not point or raise their hands because it was an actual auction and they might bid on the animal accidentally for the respect of the community and business they shouldn't do anything that looked like they were bidding then the questions came what if we bid who would have to pay for it what if I raised my hand to ask you a question what if I think the animal is cute and bid on it one kid wouldn't let it go so I said jokingly if you bid on any of the animals I'll put you up for auction only african-american kid in the class didn't get fired felt awful too long didn't we'd accidentally told an african-american kid I was going to auction him off edit thanks for the gold my maths teacher took a ruler off a student who was annoying him with it licked it then threw it out a window the student then retaliated by grabbing the teachers ruler and licking it the teacher just sits there and says I don't give a damn I use that to scratch my balls no repercussions whatsoever edit so to give some more background if you know the Irish schooling system we were in T Y so absolutely nothing was being done anyways math teacher got mad after a kid made a smart-aleck remark asked him to drop his pants in front of the whole class to prove how big his balls were but he was fired never found out the size of that kids balls I [ __ ] you not last week a kid lit up a joint in a classroom seventh grade I had a seventh grade class where a kid would go around showing his boss to people and lighting his pew bees on fire my father is a history teacher at a high school in the city once a particularly cherished student who sat in the front row was blatantly and shamelessly on his phone in the middle of class naturally my father tells him to hand over the phone surprisingly the kid gives it up without a fight however the kid quickly pulls another phone out of his pocket I have two phones the kid sneers he points to the phone in his hand this one is for business he points to the phone in my father's hand and that one is for pleasure well then my father says that explains why this one is on vibrate to this day my dad is surprised that he didn't lose his job right then and there in ninth grade I ducked my teachers daughter my teacher called me a man horse in front of my whole class my teacher was a woman your hand must have been bloody from all the high fives students were using perfume in water pistols teacher got sprayed she stabbed student with pencil student got in trouble good times 1960 I was a marching band instructor just in the summer for band camp one of the kids was eating a bag of Skittles during a break and she asked me do you want to taste my rainbow without thinking I blurted out not until you're 18 I wasn't fired I'm a little embarrassed to admit this but her it goes sometimes after the droves of 14 and 15 year old shuffle back to their spective homes for the day I take my shoes off and walk around the building in my socks when I was in eighth grade the class clown thought he was untouchable he was a man among boys I believe he was held back a year taller than just about anybody and growing in his facial hair he was always doing whatever he wanted throwing food at lunch skipping class and just about anything that he felt would get a reaction all the girls loved him too they thought he was the hottest thing this side of the Sun so they usually let him get away with saying or doing things most of us couldn't one day I guess all of that got to his head because he was flirting with a group of girls in the back of the class and decided whipping out his dong was a good idea but not only did he whip it out he put it on the kids shoulder in front of him and showed it off to the girls around him he got in trouble because little Suzy got scared by the anaconda and screamed everyone turned around and the classroom erupted with all kinds of reactions best I remember were miss French letting out and her my goddddd the kid who had dog shoulder screaming like a little girl the too long didn't read class clown takes a group of girls to downtown not a teacher but in training I was in placement within a primary school and a little kid [ __ ] himself I felt really bad for him and went to get a teacher without others finding out but this kid started screaming that someone had [ __ ] under his desk I then realized he had scooped it out and threw it under his desk and squishing it under his shoe for authenticity anyway I then had to escort a whole class out of a classroom and tell the real story to a teacher which suspended the child for two days squish-squish establishing dominance well I sexually harassed my entire class we were discussing capture in regards to our vs. human intelligence and I made the mistake of using a capture with a gay flash forward to the middle of class where I'm asking one of my students Jared you've seen many DS before but never this D how do you know it's a D does it have some kind of DMS what makes a DF D etc at this point most of the class is laughing jared is very confused and I'm just hating myself lesson learned do not discuss the D or its deenis with undergraduates I taught a fellow props yeah they usually have a few in plays like a fellow not a teacher but this happened when I was in high school about 35 years ago my English teacher was the hot teacher in the school one day she's sitting at her desk and I had a question to ask raised my hand went to her desk and from where she was sitting and I was standing and the dress she was wearing could see a good deal down her top I said ro look at all those freckles and went on to my question without missing a beat fast forward to the end of the school year as we are taking our final exams and she walks over to my desk it slowly leans with over so I could get a good look and whispers I've not worn this dress since you commented on all my freckles pause now it's your turn to blush she smiles and walks away class too but under the desk there's a word for it my seventh grade English teacher who was in her first year never had control of her classroom a couple weeks before the end of the year our class was arguing with her about something and she screamed duck you all never saw mrs. Wallace again edit this was in 2005 in Agua working as a classroom tail in a primary school the teacher was talking recycling and composting she drew an apple corer on the whiteboard only it looks exactly like a vagina in a fit off giggles I had to leave the room to compose myself not a teacher but my honors precalculus teacher said good precalc teachers are just lubed for the ass-raping you will receive in college calc I was looking at porn on tumblr last year three years ago my current geometry teacher was suspended for having porn downloaded on his classroom computer like why what makes you think it's a good idea to ducking download porn onto a school computer one of my teachers has an awesome ass like really nice she wears tight pants and a thong most days it's pretty ducking obvious my buddy once took me to some sketchy house to buy some weed and there is an elementary school teacher in the living room shooting heroin on her lunch break she finishes high as duck grabs her lunch off the kitchen table and says oh duck my lunch break is almost over time to get back to teaching kids she laughs walks out the back door and my buddy asks the guy we were meeting if she really is a school teacher the guy also ducked up from slamming dope says yep she like teaches little elementary kids n [ __ ] what the dark I was teaching 5/7 Atos beginning woodworking at a private school and we were painting our projects we were in a room alone and I was a 35 year male a young girl who was wearing a denim shorts and skirts that got paint all over her skirt I caught myself with my hand under her skirt trying to wash the paint off with a wet cloth and thought what would anyone think if they walked in on this scene I let her clean off the paint as best she couldn't finish the class it scared the hell out of me I once climbed out of the window to pick some cherries shared them with the students one time I stood on a chair to reach a top shelf rather than using a stepladder this wasn't me but some kid was caught jackin it in Spanish class and was repeatedly told to stop but continued to until he was switched to study hall that's some stamina we once convinced a substitute teacher that the Warriors was a remake of West Side Story and though we had been instructed to watch it for theater class we were 14 best lesson ever substitute teacher so today this ninth grade class I was covering tried to convince me the Warriors was a West Side Story remake so I play dumb so we could all watch the Warriors when I was in high school everyone had suspicions that this one teacher was gay during one class he was opening files from his laptop and they were being projected onto the overhead accidentally opened a folder of naked photos of himself and another entire class of great tents all safe to say all suspicions were confirmed I was sitting next to a kid one day in eighth grade and he called my name I looked over and he had whipped his tongue out and was staring at me kids are ducking weird dude if not a teacher but this happened to my teachers there was a two teachers who were married men were working at the same school they also had rooms next to each other with a small storage room between them and there they had a whole kitchen shelves with glassware a TV and most importantly a couch and every so often they would meet there and have sex during lunch the school found out and they were both forced to quit they moved to a different town and got new jobs at different schools not a teacher but when I was a high school senior I had a homeroom teacher in her early 20s she was also an NFL cheerleader very hot she showed me how she could fit her fist in her mouth when she was done she looked at me and said she probably shouldn't have done that I agreed but said thank you I used to sub at a couple of high schools if I had some downtime when the kids were taking a test I'd grab the roster and start looking up the kids Twitter's it always amazed me how stupid kids are with social media pictures of them doing drugs drinking talking [ __ ] about teachers gossiping about other students finding the I hate to say hello we have the hot sub tweets were always the highlight of my day not me that my ninth grade religion teacher had sex with another freshman I've told a few lads that I'm banging their mums it's good for taking them down a few notches and back to focusing on their work this works better if you homeschool your children my science teacher freshman year had the best way to get students to not text in class he gave a student and not in use phone before class and told him to pretend he was texting half way through class he proceeded to walk towards the student and request the phone from him the student pretends to put up a fight but eventually gives the teacher the phone the class was on the second story was an outside school and the teacher started to walk to the door and throw the phone off the second story the student tending started to freak out but all the other students faces were all priceless none of the students ever texted in class again not a teacher that have a worthwhile story 12th duck in grade this kid was beating his dong in the back of the class during Romeo and Juliet no one noticed until the girl in front of him had to hand the class warp to him needed for the day to clarify the seating arrangement for the class was done or the kid had the very last seat of the row that was tucked away in the corner which is why no one noticed until the paperwork was being handed out everyone in the class started roaring and laughter when we all noticed it the principal the assistant principal and the state trooper had to come up to remove him had a class of six row testers the retest results came back an early December and they had all passed since I knew I wouldn't have them back in my class after Christmas break I thought Duquette and decided to culture them by showing pulp fiction over the course of three days if they promise not to say a word to the administration the only part I skipped was the actual raping in the rape scene got away with it clean on my last day of student teaching I agreed to play cards against humanity' with some of the students when it was my turn to judge instead of putting in relevant white cards the students put in the most vulgar cards they had hearing the student teacher read cards like two midgets [ __ ] in a box getting your dong stuck in a Chinese finger trap with another dong and Moses gargling Jesus balls while Buddha and Shiva penetrate his divine holes really made the students crack up not me but my tenth grade biology teacher was answering a question from a student who asked can another animal impregnate a human he replied I'm sure we've all been in that situation click one wrong link on the internet and whoa what is she doing with that horse but no that is not possible whoa you made it to the end you're ducking beasts I'll cut you a deal smash LIKE and 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Channel: Sir Reddit

Views: 468,894

Rating: 4.9479194 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, askreddit, askreddit funny, top posts, top posts of r/, r/, r/askreddit, reddit top posts, reddit cringe, comedy, reddit compilation, top posts of all time, askreddit question, askreddit top posts, ask reddit, askreddit reading, subreddit, reddit stories, best of r/askreddit, funny reddit, best reddit posts, best of reddit, emkay, ToadFilms, sir reddit, doctor reddit, reddit and chill, giofilms

Id: m5aMdYd0i-0

Length: 15min 12sec (912 seconds)

Published: Tue May 05 2020