-All right,
we're checking out the only game that will probably end up
stabbing you to death with a fork-- It's Happy Wheels. It's great that I sat here and just watched this
absolutely nothing happen with all my effort. I penetrated the beast
and then I immediately flew back out. I also appreciate that
there is an "Astroyed Lander." This is the most specific spelling
of this word I think I've ever seen. How the hell did I get "Noob"? Like who only one-third
of the bottle is on here. I love how just in the middle
of everything is Satan. It's not exactly like
incredibly hard to get, it's just there. Oh, there's more Satan back here,
I just realized. Dum. If there is one thing
everyone needs, it's more Satan. Hey. That's not good enough. That's a win,
but I'm not counting it as a win. I did, however, get both inside
and outside of the rainbow slide one shot. Oh, decent. Oh, damn it. I almost found a way. Does that say
"Fire Lord penetration"? What the hell does that even mean? I'm almost penetrating the Fire Lord. I'm so close. Come on, baby. MLG kind of. Penetrate, no. What? I don't even know how I got over here
considering what's protecting it. I am deep inside
of the Astroyed Lander. Deep. All of this is meaningless to me -if I can't penetrate the Fire Lord.
-Nope. Stop going inside
the Astroyed Lander. All right, it went right to "Pro." Oh, Fire Lord, I'm coming. Fire Lord is like,
"I really don't think that you are, Gray." You liar. Wow. I got "REAL" standing up. The Fork. It got knocked off,
but it was on there. There, Satan standing up, hell yes. I appreciate that
I have two bottles right now dancing next to one another. [distorted laughter] Yes. It's like half of penetration
and half just something lodged inside. So, um, real quick, you know that it's a legitimate challenge when I actually had to stop recording and do this for hours until finally-- Wait for it. There it is. This is called "Let's Go Sledding." Get ready. Okay. Oh- Oh, Jesus. All right. Yay. Oh, my God. Okay, the sled is a- The sled is doing a full flip. This is so bad. I'm dead. I'm still alive somehow. Nope. Am I being abused
by demonic snowmen? What the hell? Let's go sledding they said. This is not sledding. Okay, I've gotta get my weight backward. Oh, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no. Yes. Yes. [laughs] Ow, my arm. Oh, no. Where- Where the hell? Why? I'm-- Am I still alive? I'm still alive,
but I can't do anything. Where the hell is
the end of the board? This isn't sledding, it's just-- No no, no, no. Just torture. There we go. Oh, this is perfect. [screams] [laughs] Oh, no. It's so much less perfect. Aha. Okay, there's the ending. So there is an actual ending to this. I guess
if you just like undershoot it, then you get this. This is a pain in the ass board
you've made. Oh, God. No, not on the front-- I don't want to be a hood ornament
on the fricking sled. There. Oh, no. No, no, no. Oh, yes. Epic flips. Um. Oh, this is fine. It's not fine anymore. Okay. God. Go to the back of the sled. The back, not the front. You know what, maybe this'll work. Okay. Yep, so far so good. Okay, a lot-- A lot less good now. This board is impossible. All right, I'm just gonna hang off-- No. I'm gonna hang off the back. Yeah. It is where you gotta be. [laughs]. Oh, no, my head's inside the sled. This is really bad. No, no, no, my helmet-- Oh, please, let this pain end. No, no. [laughs] No, what is this? I was right there. Maybe if I go,
like, all the way to the back. There we go. Okay, don't lose my arms, Yes, this is it. This is it. This is gonna be a win. This is 100% a win right here. Watch this. Right into the pocket. Right into the watermelons. No. No, I missed the watermelons. Yay. Yay. Oh, my God. Okay. Oh, God. No. Full flip. Hell yes. I- I can- Oh, my God, my limbs. Aah, oh, no. [laughs] What- No,
I died before I got to the end. Oh, I get to enjoy this
beautiful bounty of watermelons. Congratulations, board creator,
I hate sledding now. He could go all the way. Yes. Yeah. No. No, my head. All right, I definitely have
good control of that. Nice. Oh, no, not the head rip off again. Ooh. My head, like,
e-ejected out of the-the sled. That's good. Yes. Finally. Holy crap. I never want to go sledding again. This is called Bottle Run RED. Bottle Flip Run RED? No, it's definitely called
Bottle Run RED. Whatever, here we go. Oh, hold on, hold on, hold on. [chuckles] Oh, almost got me. [laughs] Got me. All that you hid from me
was depression. I'll go-- Woah. Woah. [gasps] Did it-- Did it shoot my son off so that we'd get to the end
at the exact same time? That's interesting.
This is called Impossible [?]. "I spilled alcohol
on the background." This doesn't look like alcohol,
it looks like vomit. Lemon-lime vomit. All right, how bad is the-- What? Oh, no. Oh, I'm still alive. This is-- I'm still alive. How? Look, I'm twitching. I just realized, dude- Well, hold on, I have an idea. So, it's impossible
to go through here, but it definitely looked like
there was something back here, so hold on, hold on, hold on. Not yet. Now. Watch the-- Ow. Okay, let's try that again. There. Yeah. Yeah, here we go, here we go. Come on. Come on, have a-- No. I thought there'd be a secret win
back there. I actually have to do this the legit way,
are you kidding me? All right, maybe there's a trick. There. Okay, that was a lot-- No, that's- that's-
there's no way to do this. This board lacks fairness. Ow. Fairness. I think I just got to get lucky. Wow, I broke the game. I just noticed, dude,
there's a gigantic amount of land mines, even if you get past all this crap. What? Uh, I'm saving that. I'm saving that because I-- It counted as a win, it's saved. There it is.
It's called Final Destination. Slow. Meteorites. Okay.
Um, it's not Final Destination until I get hit in the face
with a bunch of rebar. Whoa. Okay, is there another one? We got one more? No? All right. Taco bull,
where the food will spear you. What is that gonna be, flying rebar? Is it gonna be like flying tacos? I mean, that's kinda awesome. There's no tacos at all. I can-- Yeah, see, look. Explode. Where is the explosion? God, Final Destination is worse because I'm just waiting for it to happen. Ah-ha. See, rebar. Oh. Okay, I'm satisfied.
You know what, screw slow. Go. All right, now, now watch this. Ah. Okay. You know what, don't watch it,
avert your eyes. I was going to try and, like,
slowly go past it, but I'm just-- There, we're just ramping over it. How about that crap? Okay. No. This really is Final Destination. Okay, get past everything
and do not touch the light pole. Got it. Yeet. You know what,
I'm going over the light pole. In fact, I'm going
over the entire damn map. What is this? What does it say? Oh, I won, or I'm going to win, I think. What does it say?
Circus Supplies, Cinco's Circus Supplies. What? Whatever. Yeah. Nobody- What does that say? Eats death? Cheats death? I did today. Time for a Tarzan Swing. Wow, I suck. A Tarzan Swing. Here we go. All right, now back and yeet. I'm dead.
Okay, jump, let go, grab, eat. Ha. What are those-
what are those down there, like, depressed fish? Oh, sweet. No. Get one, full flip. Two, up, got it, there we are. I kind of expected the grass over here
to stab me in the ass and kill me
because it looks very violent. This is called Try to Stop Extreme, stop. Did I? I--
You know, I actually did nothing. I did nothing in this board. I'm a winner. Extreme my ass. This is called Gray's Spleens Run. God, that's hideous. I'm going to die now, aren't I? I'm-- Oh, man, I was alive. Spleens, no. I loved you, I trusted you. [chuckles] Oh, my God. [laughs] [screams] God, no. Please, no, not up the ass. Yes. They made me won. Spleens let me win. This is called The Red Sticks. You have to go
into the red sticks fortress and save your girlfriend. Go slow
or you'll fall from the bridge. Not a chance in hell. Whoa, what the hell? I did it. Hey, who are you? Outta the way, stick figure. I saw it as in my balls. No. I'm levitating. I'm levitating. Ah. Oh, a sword came out of my wiener, whoa. Go through here. I'm kind of curious
what that guy up on top is doing. I'm waiting for him to come-
[screams] Yeah, watch out, a little late. Whoa. Out of the way. And don't you dare put
that sword up my ass. Swor-- Really? All right, past this dude. And deflection. Ow, ow,
I forgot about the damn harpoons. Okay, knock him away. Right over his dead-- Uh-oh. Oh, this is bad. Oh, this is- this is- uh,
this is unbelievably bad. I'm screwed. Oh. Okay, so- great. I got a freakin' harpoon like a- like a hood ornament on my bike. Oh, Jesus, how am I supposed to
[chuckles] oh, no. Oh, God. Go. Go Ow. Go. Oh, hell, ow, ow, ow, ow. Your board lacks fairness. [screams] This board [mumbles] Yay. [?] guy. [screams] No, battle-axe guy. How the hell? Okay, I got a new personal best, I got to the next-- [screams] I was gonna say,
I got to the next part. Here's how-- here's the strat. All right,
take the sword off the wiener. Get rid of the battle-axe guy. Watch your back. Straight through. Slow. Tom, you just- you just wait there
and dad will be back soon. All right, slow. Yeah, there we go. Slow, slow, slow, slow, slow. You're almost there.
You're lying, aren't you? You're the battle-axe stick figure. [screams] I'm ramping over your body. Yeet. [screams] Of course it's in the wiener,
why wouldn't it be? You know what?
Fine. You're coming with me. Was it--
Those are a bunch of breakfast tables? Having the sword up my genitals is actually making this much harder
than I had previously anticipated. Ah. Don't come any closer. I'm not good at following directions. I already have a sword in my groin. Oh, my girlfriend currently has
a butcher's cleaver in her mouth. Ow, my head. I'll never give up. I don't care what it takes. Ow. Go slow. Oh, that's too fast.
That is too fast. Oh, penis. Oh, one stick figure
took out the other stick figure, that's fortunate. Yeet. And over the tables, get wrecked. I did it. I think I may have saved my wife too. Oh, it's one of her legs. It bottle flipped it
and ended standing up. [chuckles] Well, I went to the land
of stick figures and I don't think
I'll ever take that vacation again. Okay, folks, I hoped you enjoyed
this episode of Happy Wheels. Till the next time.
Stay foxy and Much love.
