Series 7, Episode 4 - 'OLLIE.' | Full Episode | Taskmaster

[Music] [Applause] [Music] ah [Music] now hello thank you thank you for the clapping you know the drill it's taskmaster i'm greg davis some funny folk have completed some tasks and i'm going to judge them on their efforts jesus christ can we just get on with it your five converting contenders are james a caster jessica nappings very godly man phil wang and rob gilbert and here standing just shy of five feet tall it's my sufficient assistant so yes i've written a poem i've passed my driving test i've seen a foreign film yeah i've i've i've used talcum powder this is your big moment you know that don't you i'm reading my cv i've met i've met two jockeys i'll tell you why this irritates me is it because it looks like we've planned this we haven't alex gets these few moments to say whatever he wants and this is what he's chosen god please it doesn't look like you planned this i think we need to get on with the show alex okay we're going to start with a prize task and today's category is to bring in the most confusing things you lord davis will judge whose thing is the most confusing the one with the most confusing thing will max out on points for this section at the end of the episode the winner will take home loads of things to get all befuddled by that's how yeah thanks little man right jessica happened what is your confusing thing t-shirts okay five points i think when you buy a t-shirt wear a t-shirt you should know why you're wearing it and at least what it says i understand so far what have you brought in i've brought in a t-shirt that i bought in a small village in spain i i've been trying to figure out what they meant i have there comes the raven i don't get it here comes the ring here comes the ravens but so what iuf can stand for international union of food or immune uterine fluid which can attract that that can attract ravens okay cleared it up wow okay i'll show you how confused i am uh james a caster what did you bring in that's confusing and why will it confuse me a dvd of the matrix everyone is you spoke to about the matrix has gone i can't wrap my head around it man try and watch the matrix man who are these two of these people my parents but here's the thing right it's like saying this isn't reality there's a different reality and you're plugged into the matrix and you're a machine or are you a machine you're not a machine you're imagining stuff and people don't know what the matrix is about well and figure out what it means i haven't seen the matrix but from what you've just said yeah my understanding is the people in the matrix think they're existing in one reality yes but in fact it turns out they're plugged into machines and they're experiencing an entirely different reality great can you go back to the beginning i didn't get that do you want to move on to kerry jesus christ yes okay terry what have you brought in that's confused i have brought in the wires around the back of my telly and what's really sad is i bought that wii u for my son over a year ago he hasn't been able to play it for six months because i can't plug it in i sometimes just don't watch films like the matrix because i can't be [ __ ] to plug it in i can't code i can't cope with that you're gonna write that quote dan can't be [ __ ] to plug it in cochlear something like that can't be [ __ ] up lottery what's the confusing thing you've brought in and why did it confuse you well my story relates to an incident when i went to a t-shirt shop and they inexplicably confused my simple request okay my simple request was can you put my favorite picture onto a t-shirt yeah well then i did this i don't know if we can see the original picture it's confusing how you're getting away with using this picture strapping there's six more episodes i'm very confused as to why you're so obsessed with somebody naked me uh phil my confusing thing is a confusing little box you want to see a picture please okay here's a picture it's a confusing little box that you can't open but you can but you can't open it but you can open it it's a mysterious box i bought in thailand from a mysterious man and uh i haggled a hacker i haggled for this box he said the haggling process well he said 300 baht yep and i said 150. and then he said 300 and i said 200. and then he said 300. so i paid 300 bucks and um it's been it's been absolutely worth it do you think you can open it i can't open that picture no you can open that box oh you want to give it a go it's confusing a little box it's going to be good old telly in it i'll just open the box with [ __ ] [Applause] [Laughter] [Music] i've just taken charge of the box if i've been there for 20 minutes or so i wouldn't understand you getting irritated but i still haven't expected you to use that sort of language let's uh you apologize we'll leave it there very sorry that's right there you go you wanna try to open it it's frustrating isn't it greg when you're asked to complete tasks under pressure and there's a lot of people watching you want to judge them i hope that round of applause was worth the three points you've just got i'm sorry james and this isn't because you called me a [ __ ] or is it who knows what reality is anymore it's just a film i got it within your description one point one pointer james yeah third place kerry just a bunch of wires bosh two points okay two together three and you're lucky to be getting these why are you so obsessed with me you freak three points i'm gonna give phil four points because that t-shirt is still wrecking with my head five points to jess okay time for a task to be projected onto the big screen please alex okay in that case i'm going to flick this switch and off we go [Music] hello ah where is he work out what happens when you flick this switch on you may not take the switch out of this room your time starts now there's a live wire there and a neutral wire there coming over there it's gaffer tape today oh i mean so i'm allowed to flick it pretty straight forward let's just crack on alex crack straight on yeah okay we're going to start with three contestants who didn't necessarily enjoy this task it's two girls one wang ready here we go it says off on let's have a look shall we annika's just a [Music] there's a tap that's been left on i'd be very impressed if you've managed to you know that fan's going [Music] oh this is hard [Music] a floodlight i didn't see you hello carrie right keep an eye on that then oh come on is it these lamps still on all the lights are off ah [Music] no turning it off now no it's not the sprinkler because i turned it off and it's still going on it goes again no oh i want it off this is stressing me out this one yeah no it's not them i feel i'll take the other way he's moved he was facing the other way wasn't he oh my god that's turned round oh it's off now it's him it's him ollie yeah aha i've got it ollie turns around i've stopped the clock did you enjoy that one no no that was against the clock right well fastest wins yeah do you think there was any way you could have been more efficient during that task yeah you could have gone out with a checklist i mean the most efficient thing to do would have gone outside and gone it's a statue hindsight is a fine thing yeah better thing to do would have gone out with a checklist checklist yeah yeah what gone out said that's on that one that's on that's on that's on then go back in it may be that i've started this tone by smashing that little box but you seem quite cross i'll be honest that was the one i hated the most this one yeah why it may be very cross it wore me out it stressed me out it hurt my head were the quickest of these three feel better now maybe phil took 10 minutes 50 seconds jesus christ 50. uh kerry 9 26. sorry and jess 11 49. so it's a similar ballpark all of them good that's the end of part one friends if you stop for what to spend all of your money on then stay tuned for the next three minutes then come back to us please i need you hello thank you you've just walked in on master but don't worry we're not shy before the break there was a tricky little task going on you're right they've been trying to work out what a switch in the lab controls okay next we're going to see a little old man it's rod gilbert what's that so that but that goes there where what's that is that just something like is that connected to the task or is it something completely yeah there's another plug there well i tell you what if i flick that switch off then nothing will happen when i click that switch [Music] so nothing happens when you flick that switch stop the clock that's my final answer nothing happens no maybe it's not my final answer [Music] nothing happens i mean [Music] unless it's something that happens somewhere else [Applause] take that i hope those teeth fall out your head it shouldn't take much hopefully the answer is you flick the switch and greg gets electrocuted and there's rotten pistachio he calls teeth just all just rattle about and fall over his head that's my final answer i must have done something to you around 2009 because the vast majority of your responses are uh about my rotten teeth which i had fixed some eight years ago he was the quickest he was the quickest he's we stopped the clock at three minutes 37. thank you very much but i'm not sure he got it right i mean no whoa he didn't get it he didn't even think about it no you didn't one side's clicked the main switch that switch didn't do anything no if you lift it up no we all lost now we're moving on to the last contestant it's james acaster really annoying place for the switch to be [Music] fun hello alex hello jones it's a good one thank you [Music] okay [Applause] [Music] operate you the switch guys please yourself i feel very pleased what was that challenge it was a chance he just caught you you checked everything you checked the whole area in one go rather i'll tell you what it was kerry it was urgency the man appreciated he was against the clock and he moved with speed i was looking at it i was not wandering i was running you may have done one run you were largely sauntering and then you went all phil mitchell again when when that's the perfect did you enjoy that carrie no i [ __ ] used it well uh just took 11 something phil 10 something you nine something james 5 35. pretty quick okay well i guess you're doing it for speed of course i mean we all know that jane day caster gets five points for winning the task it then goes four to carry three to fill two to jessica but what happens with rod go on give him a point alex can we have a look at a scoreboard please okay there are joint leaders uh phil and jess have seven points uh do you have a nice uplifting task for us well i've got a nice downlifting task for you is that right i guess oh [Music] hello hello hello jess i'm just taking in my surroundings oh hello james oh don't touch that well you can if you want i suppose dramatically alter your appearance most dramatic alteration wins you may start altering your appearance when you are inside the lift and the doors have closed i don't like lifts you must stop altering your appearance when the doors open again that's a good way of timing it fair way that's like 18 seconds you may inspect the contents of the briefcase for five minutes before the lift doors open for the first time stop the clock okay oh okay great cotton wool cleat i like that love it love it love it felt jam oh god no no wig so many things mustache breasts mustard no makeup artist oh i can't imagine it's going to involve mustard how much time do i have you've got two minutes and 20 seconds you've got to see a panic on i can't think what to do can i take your coat give me your jacket please alex i'm going to call the lift in 10 seconds [Music] good luck kerry i'm really scared [Applause] words are key in some of these tasks and i think the key word here is dramatically to dramatically alter the appearance yes um i'll give you an example shall i this is alex's normal face and now a dramatic face [ __ ] you now let's see how dramatically our lift chums okay their appearance they had 18 seconds in the lift we're going to see each of their attempts individually up first it's jessie k who has already proven herself quite the quick change artist in episode 1 which is available on catch up on uk tv play here she is please press g yeah good luck bye [Music] laughs [Applause] yeah here we go certain time ah mr bob pretty dramatic right i mean incredible high drama i actually thought when the beard fell away that was when the the outfit really kicked in because you've gone to the trouble of making a tie yeah i felt felt on paper that was felt on paper too you make that pre-lift or in there lift the prep time five minutes prep time can i also just say i have a genuine phobia of lifts do you think it was that big a deal if you overcame it in five minutes 18 seconds i knew that it was only going to be 18 seconds and i knew that they'd get me out because they had to because i'm on telly yeah just like that bam it's the end of part two bam just like [Applause] [Music] [Applause] that [Music] thanks thanks and an extra side portion of thanks it's taskmaster part three and five comedians are vying for kerry godliness hdmi cable uh which task are we in the thick of little alex horn we are doing one that's really elevated the series greg [Laughter] [Applause] yes i'm so sorry they're trying to alter their appearance as much as possible within the 18 seconds it takes a lift to go from upstairs to downstairs they had five minutes to prepare and a case full of props we're going to see what's going down with phil wang please press g who are you okay uh pleased yeah it couldn't look much different also you'll notice that when i went in i wasn't holding a jar of jam i mean that's one of the things i i want to discuss more than anything else really is how you think that holding a pot of jam alters your appearance so i go from i go from appearing not to have any jam to appearing as i do i'm backing you up your wand thank you he didn't have jam anywhere he had jam when he came out the bigger problem for me i thought was that it was uh there's one thing about you across this whole series that is unmistakably you wow never really you want to just have the jam there that's completely transforming your idea yeah do you want to see what rob did let's hope that what rob did isn't more ridiculous than just holding a jar of cheddar okay this is this is what rod did let's go get in the lift and press g that's g yes please good luck [Music] [Applause] does it hurt oh the mustard in my eyes is agony i feel like i'm really thinking i should use mayonnaise right that's how dramatically i altered my video i went to the ladies toilet immediately now i knew your clothes were coming off so that was no surprise to me but there was absolutely no no need to rub mustard into your phone also that was a wig he chose a wig which looked exactly like his hair but it wasn't i didn't even know you were wearing a wig generally i thought you took your clothes off and to me that is the sign of a good wig who's next what will kerry goddleman do let's see kerry goddleman's attempt to find out the answer to the question about what kerry goblin will do here we go what did i press g you did say that sorry one three four five six seven eight [Music] no i'm not ready that wasn't 20 seconds we might stepping out the lift that wasn't 20 seconds there was so much more that was going to happen it's a good look no because i was going to do the knees on the shoes and i was going to wear the shades thank you okay i was so excited about that one yeah so who was your final character going to be i was just meant to be dramatically are you trying to i know where it is where are we going with it i'm just i'm just wondering what you thought your final character who you thought your final okay to be a comer character the task was just to dramatically change no no no i know what's your problem with this guy i've got a problem i'm just asking i imagine i might imagine if you were a foot shorter i'd dramatically d you'd be nothing also i did look dramatically diff more so than these two yeah yeah so we just did not look yeah i did i was just backing you up no you've learned how do you feel nothing is shove a bloody brillo part in your tits [Applause] you need to learn not to help people because we always stab you in the back i would like to point out that when rod accused you of putting a brillo pad on your tits james a caster went like this that was mainly because of the word tits okay the last person is james a caster here we go [Music] [Music] oh no no no no no no no no no no [Applause] please step out lily oh last i'm after this one [Applause] this is what happens if you believe what happens in films because you press the emergency button you just thought it would stop yeah you could take your time paul could override it yeah yeah the whole thing would stop the weird little alarm went off and you continue to travel points one point james a caster okay the second least dramatically disguised doesn't matter how many pots of jam someone is holding i will still be able to identify them particularly if they've labeled themselves and thank me for those purely because she doesn't know the concept of time it's all furry knocks perry the three points okay so it's between jeff and rod now when jess first stepped out of the lift i hadn't got a clue who it was and unfortunately her beard fell away and i knew it was definitely jessica nappet are you joking i'm gonna lose to mustard face and so that against all odds with five points the winner of this is all mustard faces what's next well thank you uh this one has been weighing very heavily on my mind here it is [Music] make these scales read 31.770 kg kilograms the scales must reach 31.77 kilograms for at least five seconds fastest winds your time starts now okay i've broken it then what's that that means you're too heavy i can't be too obviously my foot you're too heavy for the scales shut up seriously yes are you winding me up how bloody root they actually make the scales where exactly three 1.770 kg yeah they all tried to do it initially by putting their body on it and and it's a it's a butcher's scaleless it's very sensitive you'd have to lop a body part off okay first up to the scales it's phil wang [Music] what how much [Music] oh [ __ ] hot damn we're on business okay great let me get it [Music] that is the most delightfully nerdy response to a task we've ever had so it looked like an audition with a big bang theory well he nailed it i mean the bucket it was only 345 grams over when he first put it on which is about the weight of a hamster in or on a baseball what i would say was it wasn't as quick as we made it look it took him six minutes to fill and then drag the bucket but the benchmark is eight minutes 28 seconds that's what he achieved okay i forgot there was a time element right just one part to go with a studio task to be completed and confusing things to be won see you right back here soon hello welcome to the final part of this taskmaster installment yes and i'm called alex before the break they were trying to make an industrial set of scales display 31.770 kg exactly do you want to see the two parents have a go yes i do okay here are kerry and jess i haven't really thought this through oh sorry right oh it's gonna take cages [Music] why am i allowed to go out and come back in or do i have to do it all here all the information's on the task have everybody's shoes please i'm going to need 31 shoes at this rate why did i do that there are no windows open in here absolutely stinks i could do some heavy stuff i could get some heavy stuff that's the key isn't it but not as heavy as me i don't understand what to do why have you only used shoes does it say you have to stay in this room oh you made out like i did i said all the information's on the task ah kidding me [Music] this isn't practical i should have just gone with bricks [Music] oh my god it absolutely stinks in here [Music] right now we're really close aren't we how much does water weigh oh no it's all right one two three four i've stopped the clock took a while didn't it [Music] yes oh it's gonna get thrown up that i think may or may not haunt contestants i mean i thought i could use heavy stuff but not as heavy as me it was mildly embarrassing but it was hugely eclipsed by how much to support she ended up with a time of one second and 16 minutes your approach looked a bit like the back of your telly to me just absolute carnage kerry's well we know that uh phil got eight minutes 28. kerry eight minutes and 13 seconds oh not so [ __ ] then i always knew it was all right thanks yeah rod and james are next up [Music] i'm in easier way of this i reckon jesus you must be a butcher's nightmare why that number huh you not like that number well it's a very specific number isn't it yes it is [Music] 0.65 grams [Applause] control [Music] [Applause] easy [Music] okay thank you your balloons and spit eh the problem you slightly misread the scales you thought you needed naught point naught six five more grams but you needed 65 grams worth spit when you started spitting you actually needed 65 grams that's a that's a tennis ball it's a tennis ball worth of spit why didn't it eventually rod seven minutes seven james five minutes and 44 seconds just to run it down it goes james with five points rob with four carry with three phil with two and jess who took ages one point okay james you're inquiring mind kept demanding what's the significance of the weight and i know alex is keen to tell everyone have we worked out the significance of the weight ollie it says ollie upside down [Music] ollie football yes i'll give you a scoreboard well the series scores are not as close as we would have hoped but we've got james james in last place the 57 then phil with 58 we move into the 60s 63 to rod 64 to jess bosh he's still there with 72 kerry's in the lead so far however what i can tell you is that this episode is tanked there are just two points separating all five of them rod's in the lead phil's on 11 and there are three people in joint second so it really is all together in that case it's time for you to vacate your chairs and make your way to the stage for the final task of the show [Applause] who's going to read the task james a cast is going to read the task out oh they've got handcuffs on oh no oh no julie hold it for you yes please alex alex correctly don the most items of clothing you have 100 seconds most new items of clothing correctly donned wins okay blow your whistle let's get donning 100 seconds starting now good luck [Applause] oh [Music] [Applause] one [Music] [Applause] for final 20 seconds come on [Applause] five four three [Applause] two come down here let's see that's effective defining skills all right [Music] we've looked at the footage yes we've only counted up the items that were donned correctly okay okay phil is last he gets one point okay jess kerry and rod all donned four items correctly they all get four points whoa oh james a donned five items correctly he gets five points and wins [Applause] that is going to make a pretty dramatic difference to the scoreboard i enjoyed that thank you it does it means the final scoreboard looks like this it's a tie break no how are we gonna find our winner well with a lovely little extra task of course greg all they had to do in this one was make the best lu roll paper airplane they had five minutes and one attempt furthest flight wins here we go i can't make a paper airplane using normal paper i can't hear you [Music] are you ready yep [Music] [Applause] well i would say that it's certainly not guaranteed after that effort next up rock gilbert make a paper aeroplane only toilet paper [Applause] [Music] oh dear so james achieved a flight of 3.9 meters not bad but rod achieved a flight for 22.7 items so what have we learned today we've learned that everything could be a construct maybe none of this is real is it a television show is it reality yeah it's real real and in case you've already forgotten rob is tonight's worthy winner let's award him with applause and then ignore each other until next time have a lovely night night night [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] for more task master subscribe now [Music] you

Channel: Taskmaster

Views: 3,013,435

Keywords: Taskmaster, Alex Horne, Greg Davies, Frank Skinner, Josh Widdicombe, Romesh Ranganathan, The Horne Section, Tim Key, Dave Channel, UKTV, Red Dwarf, Would I Lie To You, 8 out of 10 cats, Taskmaster full episodes, james acaster, rhod gilbert, jessica knappett, kerry godliman, phil wang, series 7, episode 4

Id: M0ZbPzHUiAo

Length: 44min 17sec (2657 seconds)

Published: Thu Aug 20 2020