Sean Lock's BEST MASCOTS Part 2 | 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown

Shawn if you got a mascot yes sir to have a mascot and if you wouldn't mind John and Greg this just for a moment removing your mascots on universe space for mine that's quite a big mascot and it's this I was on holiday recently and I was frankly I was appalled at the price of the Banana Boat two euros I've got three kids on at me that's 90 euros I thought no sorry have you a giving you two euros which one of your children is I said no so add a few services and I stayed up and I made this beauty and it works brilliantly because you just have to go away around here you made this boy you were drunk kiss I was quite pissed but I made this yeah that's a doctor that says not just as lot fun for family I mean I paid for the whole holiday with this then you get down there get all the kids on there and then then off I go there's absolutely no way that you look like the king of the paedos [Applause] have you gone mad spa so Jimmy recently I was approached there's been a problem far too many people are being called national treasures so I've been asked by the media to become like the head of the national treasures committee to decide who's in and who's out I see you put the know box on my side yes so I'm gonna go through them one by one and see whether they make it it's his partner just after this fella right surely in age here no but love in national treasure sure know the reason is not in is he dyes his hair he's actually got black hair I said no I've seen him run off from his bath some believe mixer this cheeky chappy a lot of people say to me Shawn what's the sensible amount to drink I always say imagine your ant McPartlin and you'll be driving your mum home afternoon enjoy yourself but don't go mental it's your mum she brought you up don't have any tequila's so that when you do crash you're not driving so fast and nobody gets killed so there we go he's in yeah he's in he makes it in yeah because you know he could have killed someone but he didn't because he didn't get too pissed there's this fella a lot of people think he should be in some people do make it in Jimmy but not this fellow because he's too mild he's like a curry for toddlers now this guy koalas Greg came close because I like him because he wears a hairnet Chris bhakti but sort of hand it well he married some baldness we'll get in the picture no I'd like him because he's got no sense of irony or humor he's very close to getting through but I've met him no Greg you try to put a spoon in my pudding you think she'd be a shoo-in definition sure no patient at all of next year you gonna tell you got a mascot no I'm doing mascot G but I've got something that I've been reprieved something the clamor for more of these has become overwhelming for my gritty limericks Oh as I pointed out the Limerick was originally written as a sort of topic or a social comment Riddick's and then they became sort of like light-hearted saucy postcard type jokes and I'd like to read a few of my gritty limericks few now for me yeah this first one is basically about the breakup of the nuclear family and the profound impact it has on one or both parents there was a divorced dad from Kent to whom at the weekend his children were lent they all went to the zoo he said it's your mum not you and into the lines kg when dad this next Limerick deals with one of the recent evils of modern Britain a growing industry of misery the payday lender [Music] there was a single mum from anger [Applause] I can't finish relied upon manga the cache she'll spent at 4,000 percent and now a home she has no longer Shawn have you got a mascot now what I've done Jimmy I've created something I call total comedy that you're aware of the Dutch team of the 1970s a famous Dutch bubble TV I cried they played total football total comedy what is his basis my comedy characters I do how many characters I'll just go through them they know some of them like this one here Oh put the cat out that was Renee no fixed abode or gender as Darcy win balls this is oh you've done this place up nice that is enough that's art Falacci oh I have three of your warmest soups this is cheeky Lionel no you can't have any of mine now the cheeky the chi-chi's ironic because he's actually quite rude put that lid down does anyone have a phone charger that's Steven from Belfast you're not coughing start with him not a corporate stuff and then I always finish with Sally we all know it [Music] you always on my mind cuz my my scene teacher said Sean you have an amazing tool I thought I'd make a lovely countdown casserole slow-cooked it and it's basically what is this bacon and all the ingredients are letters of the alphabet so in it it's got Apple Bovril coriander mmm Pinto then a whelk just one new zest of lemon and here it is and I'm gonna have a whelk on top temperature underwear honking this name about 30 there I'd pay 10 pounds for charity of your choice if you ate all of them in a row that's your magic number to eat all the whelks given 10,000 pounds Jimmy definitely yes yeah yeah do it [Applause] what well you're quite chewy I'm happy to sit into the chewing I'll take responsibility for this other than the financial aspect [Laughter] [Applause] I mean you are you taste this - what do you think is quite nice a lot nicer than a hundred well we're sharing a room Oh [Music] you could it be very sick the worst thing now would be to yourself and not erased any money to tell [Music] [Applause] [Music] sure what he was just saying why don't you open up the curtains and I'll let the Sun in the final scores Shawn did you manage to down all of the walks oh sure did you get a mascot yes I do Jimmy you know you get those brown signs and it you're like driving through somewhere and it says a brown sign and it says going visit like you know there's there'd be like a sort of farming museum and you always get it's always isn't it why did he lure me down so I thought I'd come up with some alternative Brown signs for things to on its day you do want to know when you're driving around and also things you want to avoid like this one was just like you know this don't stop it's it's a rubbish walk walk walk avoid hmm sometimes yeah you one stopped for a pee you want to stop in a good spot so you the scenic pissing spot there you go hey you got lucky here's where to go to cheap weed for the cheap picky about this porn hedge discard porn well this one childish photo opportunity you know some chosen like here would be the photo levy a good this rug blows next exit oh just cover it up as a prison he wouldn't want to stop near a prison full of serial killers we go no just up there it's just full a serial killer you just drive tentative reactor when you this one this won't be quite popular for some people woods for men you know that no sort of woods that men like to hang out in looking for a friend Sean have you got a mascot well I've got a mascot so much as I'd like to start a new craze well last year was the year of the ice bucket challenge course huge and Percy wasn't that impressed you know bit of cold water on you doesn't really make any difference so now I've come up with a new craze I want to pass on raise money and it's the cat litter challenge and you take this part of cat litter over me to raise money for some kind of I don't like cats or something that some worthy charity for men clearly going through some sword down yeah yeah can I just pledge 100 pounds pledge hundred pounds well actually I've got to nominate after this you're not actually gonna do I why would you do that one two three [Applause] Dec and shove their bush tucker the little Jordy cats bum suck up my freakin I've got to see got to nominate two people that's gone down the baqia shirts for good cause nominating Anna Wintour the editor of Vogue now I don't expect anyone else to do it obviously it's too far I actually have a bit of cat to me when I was leaving the area to take my water with me no you've made your beds you will either just sit there in your catcher and think about what you've done when you've had some crazy ideas got old down my trousers now production crews say to you when you said I need white can you drop your mic on which is probably some poor salmon is this intense Pollock would it be unreasonable to ask for another glass of water somebody just tunes in now sure have you got a mascot now I don't Jimmy I don't have a mascot but I do have something people come to me as you know I've come up with many inventions friend of mine came to me with a problem and he asked me for a solution he's a plumbing and heating engineer is often called out to fix boiler problems heating problems oh so air conditioning and he frequently gets calls to a nudist camp no clothes on site policy and he finds it very uncomfortable so I've come up with this and idea of a onesie with his body on it and then he can go to work satisfy their desire their their weird desire to see to see his body [Applause] the Sun weird reason new this one everyone else to be new he's working away Banksy I'm fine I'll be quite good for nudists as well who don't like drafts it's deeply unsettling is what is [Laughter] a Christmas card it's money in this you know exact site this yeah this is me nude but I don't wanna be nude while see you concern about of the gate I left open in that field field it's more of a zoo so responsible of me yeah and that trail of snacks that led to the orphanage

Channel: Channel 4 Entertainment

Views: 2,829,853

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Id: brvX3YsTPOo

Length: 20min 38sec (1238 seconds)

Published: Sat Apr 04 2020