Homosexuals That Were "Outed" Before You Were Ready to Come Out, What Happened?

homosexuals that were outed before you were ready to come out what happened how did you deal with the aftermath i am reading this thread and as a gay guy i am getting so many emotions anger frustration depression etc right now relating to everyone's stories i'm glad to know i am not the only one thanks everybody i'm not gay but have had a few close gay friends throughout my life one thing that i've learned is that coming out is not something you do just once it pretty much occurs every time you enter a new social group unless you are very very forward and comfortable about it new workplace new friends heck you come out at every straight bar you sit at and to every friend of a family you encounter in each of these cases there is trepidation about coming out and i had one co-worker in particular who was clearly not eager to let everyone know he was gay which embraced the poor guy a lot when we were eating lunch together during work and a friend of his outed him in front of me with hello who is this just a friend type questioning he looked so embarrassed almost like he had been caught in a lie as though not immediately telling someone about that part of his life was a guilt-worthy endeavor i concur with this statement as someone who is b the modus operandi in society is assumed straight until proven gay this can make for very awkward situations as people will spout opinions one would not do so in polita or queer a company use this account already for this but here's the story again basically there was a boy who had a crush on me who is probably the only lesbian he knows i was not i'm not public about my sexuality because i live in a fairly conservative area i pretended to be unaware of said crush because i didn't want to risk him thinking i friendzoned him or whatever nonsense i told a mutual friend that i had already come out to and we laughed about it however that friend ended up telling the boy to back off because i was gay without telling me mind you so i was unaware that she did this he backed off and nothing happened that i was aware of for some time this was during the summer and we came back to school a few months in the friend pulls me aside and tells me that she learned that the boy has been one telling people he was rejected by a gay girl and two that gay girl was me she didn't know how long or how many people he had told but she knew through her boyfriend who wasn't even a close friend of the boy needless to say i freaked the frick out had a bit of an anxiety attack crying etc the thing is the boy is not aware that i know everything he thinks i'm oblivious so i'm waiting for the ball to drop because i still see the dude every day and haven't said a word about it dealing with the aftermath by pretending nothing's happening that i can get past this with my head down and vehemently denying any rumors accidentally outed myself to my dad one saint patrick's day by mistakenly texting him something about a guy down the bar from me i immediately noticed and followed up with yep i'm a homo he replied don't drink and drive love you i told three people in our small group of maybe 20 that i was b i explained it to them they were all supportive i told them i'll tell the others when i'm ready as the reason i told them was cause they asked me if i was about two weeks later at a party i found out everyone else knew after one of the others bought me a rainbow toy and they said i saw the rainbow and thought of you i asked why and she explained aren't you openly bisexual and i said wait what i was shocked for a while and then said yeah then she said away has been telling everyone so now i try not to tell a much but at least my friends know so now all my friends know i'm bisexual and i feel a bit better with myself even though i didn't really tell them they don't treat me any differently only their jokes about gay and bisexuals occur less frequently i also find that girls are more willing to speak to me i'm unsure of why that is small group of 20 inches my parents have this history of interrogating me and usually i lie but it just kinda came out of me once i totally wasn't ready and i kinda wish they didn't know it's not that i'm ashamed of it i just feel weird because now i know my mom is picturing me freaking a girl i'm bisexual but i was outed when i was in middle school i had a few close friends who knew and one of them must have told it was a rough few years i was bullied pretty relentlessly and i still have problems with interacting with my peers to this day when i got to high school it became trendy to know a gay person and as one of the only out people suddenly all of the people that bullied me now supported me i was outed by my ex who colluded with a girl who was p i wasn't into her he managed to message all my friends on my space facebook still had a v and wasn't available at my college yet my fraternity brothers did not care and was super supportive the wrestling team not so much i still have a couple scars tom when a bunch of the jumped me thankfully my family was still in the dark and are pretty indifferent to my sexually i hope you press charges against and sued the crap out the guys who jumped you holy crap i feel so bad for everyone in this thread the entire concept of having to come out is bulls you should be able to be who you are and not have to fear anything because of that i'm sorry really appreciate that in general it's a much better environment than it ever has been but even after that first major experience of coming out and even if it goes well it's an unnerving prospect to meet someone new or travel somewhere with strong conservative values because you never know here's a placeholder comment for all the lgbt people who dealt with this by committing suicide and therefore can't answer for themselves and those whose lives were taken by others bisexual here i was dating another girl and told a friend who told everyone else i got asked a lot of invasive questions and had to deal with civil bullying for a while this was in the era when suba bullying didn't exist as a concept so i was pretty much on my own my life was hellish finally i signed up for a new aim account without all my old friends on it and my life was more peaceful until i added that one particular loud-mouthed friend who told everyone else my new screen name and the harassment started up again blah so i made a new account again without adding them this time i was pretty active on a lot of web forums so i made friends with people from all over the world and got a lot of cool music recommendations and a lot of life lesson advice talks it was nice i spent a lot of time indoors though so maybe not the healthiest thing i happen to have a really good health teacher who knew what was going on and she told me about a local youth group for queer questioning teenagers i started to attend met some new friends and wound up attending a lot of conferences about safe sex assertiveness relationship safety etc because of that i learned a lot of things that kept me safe later on in life also i got a sweet volunteering gig for a while so i feel like everything kind of worked out in my favor even though it sucked at the beginning i went to a therapist for my anxiety depression possible ocd i mentioned that my symptoms had gotten worse after a breakup but didn't tell him who i was dating or that i was b or anything so he turned right around and told my parents that i was sad after a breakup and that i'd get over it eventually cut to my parents having no idea that i dated anyone and my mother connecting the dots that i had dated a girl i only hung out with her for a few months so it was pretty suspicious already my parents weren't upset about me being queer they were upset that they had to hear it from a therapist a therapist that i don't want to tell them in the first place oh and later after that therapist had been fired on molestation charges the new therapist met with me just to chat well when i mentioned that i'd considered cutting she called my mom right up and was very worried that i had been self-harming even though i hadn't actually cut yet my mom strangled me a little bit made sure i would never be so stupid or i would never tell anyone ever again at least and then i never got help for it tl dr frick school therapist one inadvertently outed me while saying my mental illness isn't real and the other led to my mom putting her hands around my throat frick therapists about four years ago i hooked up with another girl i was terrified the first person i told was my auntie my mom's brother's wife who is a therapist and had alluded to trying to be a lesbian in college i was feeling lost and scared and didn't feel i could turn to closer people in my life yet basically i told her that i was questioning my sexuality i asked her what i should do should i come out to my mom should i tell people she told me to just keep adventuring and doing what feels right and things will fall into place in the future it was actually a really comforting conversation i slowly came out as gay over the next year to my immediate family and closest friends when i started telling other aunts uncles cousins in a more casual way surprise i was the last to find out that amy had immediately told everyone that i was a lesbian even though all she knew was that i was questioning amy even told my mom your daughter is a lesbian and you really need to talk to her about that the very next day after i first talked to her i freaked out and started getting panic attacks i questioned every interaction i had had with family members in that last year it was pretty terrible i still have anxiety about it i can't even imagine how it might be for someone in a situation where they would potentially be made and safe or experience violence after being outed my family is generally liberal and no one cared that i'm gay but the fact that they knew it before i even knew it makes me feel pretty powerless what makes it even worse is that she's a therapist and yet she's still fricked up 17 year old gay male here i was outed to my mother by my ex-girlfriend a year ago when i was 16 following our breakup in which i revealed i was gay and just wanted to experiment with a girl to test my sexuality it happened the day after i made out with her and she stuck her hand in my pants but i couldn't get a boner i felt really weird about it and knew that girls weren't for me so i decided to end it following the fight that night she phoned my mother they were really close cause i was with her for eight months and told her the reason i ended the relationship my parents are strong christian parents and my mother called me into her room and explained what happened she said that she didn't approve of it and i was just going through a phase and agreed to keep it from my father since he'd basically kick me out if he knew the next few days were rough emotionally for me as she was angry and i was scared of what would happen to me a year has passed since and my mother has grown to be more open-minded towards it and even knows i have boyfriend now and lets me go out with him i'm grateful that she loves me so much that she puts my happiness before hers since she really wants grandchildren my dad still doesn't know however so i hope when the time comes he responds the same way as my mother being outed by my angry ex to my mom was a blessing i'm really glad things are looking up i just wanted to say though that being gay doesn't mean you can't have children if you want them i think i struggled with my own sexuality for a while because i didn't quite connect that i could still have kids someday and i really wanted to have a traditional family life at some point mum sort of put two and two together and pressured an answer out of my sister who i was already out to my sister warned me things were going to be weird around the house they were for a little while but now it just isn't brought up or mentioned anymore my freshman roommate in college was apparently so fascinated by the fact that i was gay that he told everyone he knew in the dorm it wasn't really a big deal since i wasn't keeping it a secret but it was weird to have someone i'd never met before saying something like hey you're that guy's gay roommate seventh grade my mom read my diary and she told everyone in my family my aunts wanted to send me to conversion camp it took years of therapy between my mother and i in order to repair our relationship i still don't think she understands what she did to me when she outed me but we're better now and i forgive her my aunts can both die in a fire first time i've ever commented from a straight mail a lot of these stories broke my heart the hatred isolation and abuse some of you have been through is incredibly painful for me to even read about i can't imagine what this was like people are crappy acceptance shouldn't be the exception thank you middle school sucked balls everyone bullied me for being lesbian before i even realized i was queer myself i went to catholic high school instead of my local public school it was great i was very closeted my teenage years but had a small group of friends that knew anyway i moved out of state and this girl i went to high school with messaged me out of nowhere and told me about her insane battle with bulimia and it cut me deep because i felt like she just needed someone to talk to and confide in as i did too so i decided frickit and sent her back a long heartfelt message about the fact that i was gay and she responded affectionately i was so relieved another person now knows well the next day i learned that she was on shrooms that night before and was kind of losing her crap or opening up to me irrationally we were never even close friends really but she was a sweetheart that afternoon she called me screaming that i had sex with her boyfriend and she had known about it for a while and that him and so many other guys are gay and i just proved it to her my heart sank immediately i started receiving calls from my friends saying they were so sorry that she told everyone and they loved me then her boyfriend whom is a very handsome man and old friend calls me and says hey sexy i heard we made sweet sweet love together i just lost it and started laughing and crying hysterically no one gave a crap that i was gay obviously but the reassurance that i got that day and how it all happened was amazing she made it so much easier bless her heart so i left my laptop in home for vacation on grandma house knowing that my sisters can't handle computer well except for playing video i think i was safe then after coming home i noticed in my recent playlist was all of my p collection i was dumbfounded and hoping it was my mistake didn't remove them before and my sister didn't open that after several days my sister asked me about the p and i just tell her it's my friend playing prank with me then she was okay with that not sure if she believes it or not but one thing for sure my mom should also know about this although there's no change happened after that i doubt you believe that bs but she sounded pretty impressed considering she watched everything lol sorry if this is a little confusing i'm taking this complicated story and summarizing it the best i can while leaving in the important details for the record i'm a girl my cousin outed my ex-girlfriend and i to my mother because she felt uncomfortable seeing how close my ex and i were when we spent time together and interacted tony my cousin even asked me about my sexuality and i didn't give her an answer because i simply didn't have to at the time i didn't even know what i identified as i went with the flow of things with my girlfriend and didn't feel like i needed a label over my head with this being said mom wanted to hear it from my mouth i assume my mother started putting two and two together and started observing our behavior around each other which led her to believe there was something more than a friendship between my ex and i for months about three i denied and denied the truth then eventually one night after being questioned for what seemed an eternity i broke down and confessed i came out as pansexual to my mother and a couple weeks later i told my dad through a letter surprisingly my strict christian parents took it a lot better than expected they still allowed my ex to come over and spend time with me and even supported me throughout our breakup although they don't understand everything about pansexuality they want me to have a healthy and happy relationship with whoever i choose to be with mistake number one i told my mom that i had wanted to see a therapist to talk to someone about my problems my mother is a very prying woman i went to see the therapist once and then my parents decided to through my computer out of their concern for my mental health they found that i was engaging in sexual relations with a boy whom i had recently befriended the first actual boyfriend one-sided obsessive relationship when i got home from school one day my mom said she would talk to me after my father got home from work after forcefully removing my laptop from my room after my dad got home they started grilling me with questions about what i was doing who i was doing things with got very confrontational over my issues with self-harm i haven't cut for years and just approached the situation without any consideration for my feelings my mom was crying and my dad couldn't look me in the eye because of his christian values then it turned into the blame game of why do you think you can't talk with us at this point i'm breaking down crying not wanting to deal with the situation and then they asked if i was considering harming myself to be perfectly honest i had been as soon as i got home and knew something was up i knew that they knew my secret and i wanted to die these were the people who had yelled and cried at me for not believing in god what would they do with a gay they put me in a juvenile stress center to cope with my depression this place was heck they guilted you into living by making you feel bad and selfish for wanting to kill yourself it was also a religious institution so they talked about my homosexuality with a certain reverence my parents and i are on much better terms five years later and after i've moved out but i am still upset that they took my chance away to tell them i was gay my parents still say insensitive things from time to time and don't realize some of the things they say or do are still hurtful it gets better with time i'd all i can't really say when i was about 12 or 13 i watched a lot of gay pee on an old computer with internet explorer but for some reason i never thought to clear the browser history well my mom saw it of course and it was the same day that my best friend of the same gender spent the night my mom was being very passive aggressive towards me i guess morizo than most people would expect because my mom was very abusive and i was terrified for the entire night finally she pulled me aside and said i just wanted to let you know that i saw what you've been looking up that's very disgusting and you're sick i'm gonna put you in a mental hospital because that is the grossest thing i've ever seen years later she acts like she's always been my biggest ally i was a teenager and i had started dating a good friend of mine it had been going on for about two months and then i had the idea to buy her a gift for christmas something i just never did for anyone at the time so as i was wrapping that gift my mom comes in my room looks at me for a while before asking is emily more than a friend i blush then said yes then she said okay you tell your father i'm not breaking the news for you took me four months to tell my father and my mom kept pushing me to tell him because she was uncomfortable to know something he didn't i was super stressed out because i had never heard him talk about that subject so i had absolutely no idea of what could be his reaction once i told him he stayed silent for a while then chuckled a little as dabs we never see anything and that was his i had been so worried for absolutely nothing my mom outed me to my aunt after she promised me she wouldn't tell anyone because i wanted to break the news to people myself on my own time my aunt was dropping me off at work and mentioned my mom had told her i was shocked and didn't say anything at the time since it wasn't my aunt's fault when i came home from work that day and i yelled at my mom in retrospect i definitely could have handled it more reasonably honestly i didn't actually feel angry i felt betrayed and empty my main goal was to cause a scene and make her feel bad for what she'd done so she wouldn't do it again it worked she apologized and i forgave her and that was it i don't think she's told anyone since then bisexual told my parents myself but got forced out of the closet in eighth grade told one or two people who asked because if you ask me something i'm honest but this was after not talking the better part of my first semester at a new school at all they told everyone who'd listen spent from then through high school being called a dyke lesbian w prudent every iteration otherwise i was pretty much the only person out in my grade till junior or senior year and senior year i just stopped giving a frick and mostly talking to classmates i was 15 years old my best friend's mother told my mother out of spite and entirely fricked my world my mother cried for hours and my dad came home and lectured me on chemical imbalances in the brain and how i was sick and not gay my parents restricted me from seeing my friends as they supported me regardless of my sexual orientation the same day i was outed i walked to the bridge that was near my house above a river high enough to kill me if i jumped but i was too scared of surviving and being in that much pain so i didn't do it my parents made me attend youth groups talk to our pastor read from the bible it was awful i was alone had no one to talk to i felt horrible on top of it they took away any access i had to the internet the only electronics i could use were appliances in the tv i developed major depression and became a shell it was like this for five six months before i tried to overdose on pain meds luckily i had a friend call the police on me after seeing a pattern of very alarming behavior i was handcuffed and taken to a hospital where i spent half a year hospitalized in a ward trying to handle my depression and figure things out i had to stay so long because all the while my parents still were horrible when they visited in the hospital they told the doctors that i was sexually abused sick in the head the devil whispered in my ears the very first time my mother came to visit me in the hospital she blamed me for my own depression i have never felt such satisfaction than i did in that moment screaming at her to get the frick out of my room eventually after a long time in the hospital and multiple wards i was better i had good medication me and my parents worked things out to a degree i didn't have to go to church but i couldn't date or tell anyone in the family i was gay those were some of the darkest parts of my life the first two months of my hospitalization were the worst i lost so much weight i looked like a zombie and i slept almost the entire day every day now things are better though my family is more opening of my sexuality my mother takes an active interest in my love life and is a lot kinder than she once was i am now in a loving relationship for over a year now with a man i love with all my heart however despite my parents improvement i have yet to tell them i'm in a relationship and don't plan to sorry this got so long just felt good to get all that out there not gay but autistic my teacher in year three was told in a parent teacher conference and i pleaded her not to tell anyone guess what she announced the entire class the next day what a total b when i was 17 my parents found p and a gay christian website on the computer yes yes for several years i had diligently cleared the search history i realized i was getting lacks about it and the thought occurred to me i might be self-sabotaging my father loaded a program for parental controls on the computer and sat me down and told me he and my mother had found a therapist they wanted me to see and so began my stint in reparative therapy gay rehab at the time i knew reparative therapy was bulls but i realized i had the emotional bandwidth to either a deal with building an honest relationship with my parents and try and convince them reparative therapy was a conal bee see a therapist once a week to placate them and focus on getting into a college that would take me the frick away from alabama i turned 30 last month and haven't lived in alabama since i left for college at 18. when i was at a mental hospital one of the nurses wanted to know why i was so depressed suicidal and that she wouldn't tell anyone if i told her after 20 minutes in complete silence i told her i was trans she then told my psychiatrist whom i was not ready to tell that was a really silly thing for that nurse to promise you never ever ever ever promise to keep secrets for your patients always explain the boundaries of your professional ethics before they disclose things together i'm actually ace but i was inadvertently outed when i checked into psych impatient my girlfriend told my mom we had broken up honestly everything was so confusing and emotional i didn't realize that was what she was crying over not realizing i hadn't told her we were dating just yet i don't know i just don't tell people life changes fast thing is my parents are chill and were used to me showing no interest i am anyone so it went surprisingly okay i feel like i got lucky literally nothing changed but the situation meant they were far more worried over my mental health than dating preference my grandma kept telling mom she didn't like my gf hanging out with me so much because she would turn me gay romeo mom actually asked permission to help me if grandma did it again grandma was literally dying at the time so mom wanting to defend me to her was a sign i'm much more than simply accepted if you are new to the channel you can subscribe i publish new videos every day until then check another video [Music] bye for now

Channel: Updoot Everything

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Rating: 4.8993006 out of 5

Keywords: homosexuality, homosexual, lgbt, lgbtq, lgbt storytime, lgbt stories, lgbt storyline, outed, #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny reddit stories, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, reddit stories 2021, people of reddit, sub, reddit cringe, memes, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, story, stories, rslash, comedy, fresh

Id: UadRpd82peo

Length: 27min 16sec (1636 seconds)

Published: Sun Apr 18 2021