Sam Kinison on British TV

thank you very much hello London hiya hey you're welcome thank you my name is Sam Kinison and I'd like to do this to Mike Stan's just to see if it is Lian a little different than the other comics you're gonna see and the other comedy difference between me and them is that you might want to see them again sometime because I don't have an act I don't have a home I don't have a car I didn't eat yesterday I had to borrow these clothes what a primal scream they're trying not to have an attitude about it I want to get along with women you know but I'm going around I'm trying to talk people out I'm getting married if I can no it's it's I did it it doesn't work didn't work for me you have been married what's your name Gary well Gary if you ever think about getting married if you ever think you've met the right girl you want to settle down get a house get a car we do me a favor Gary remember this face cuz if you get married Gary that'll be your face everyday the face of every married man when he wakes up in the morning he gets out of bed he looks in the mirror he realizes what he's done he goes up it's true it's true I was married for two years my life was so boring actually worried about my yard rest of my friends had goals careers adventures they're out doing things with their lives I was after looking for crab grass weeds and stuff going I've got a responsibility to the neighborhood here to keep a good yard this was my life I didn't have any kids oh that's good that's real hell you seen those guys with the strollers the little babies have you seen those guys walking the streets with a look on their face like they Envy the dead ah I don't remember that thanks Gary it's all done good thing about marriage my best thing about marriage is that these are connected you know today men can keep their Johnsons that's about it oh you don't know that word Johnson soon huh you don't I'm talking about Winkie has it where you don't I'm saying again they're connected they don't come on but guess what they did we're gonna take them they were they go we're married now you will be needing that shake it for you okay now if you need to be my person in the refrigerator you go what we going out of town with your friends well you can just leave that here any waiting for you when you get back it's true you'd see all these guys on the phone they'd be going yeah hello guys yeah listen I'm not gonna be able to go no I'm uh I'm gonna have to stay here just now she won't give it to me ass word all day yeah she's upset I tried to sneak out of the house with it this morning and uh yeah I was a halfway out the driveway she came right on the house and had to give it to her right there in the street okay I'll ask you hold on honey it's the guys window they just call to say that they're all taking theirs I'm just gonna take Mike's I didn't want to stand out or anything okay yeah she said no way that weekend stays here yeah hey you guys do me a favor if you see me working on the yard next week and around the house and we do me a favor kill me yeah and how will you shoot me poison my food run me over the carpet every day ah but I love women what are you gonna do you love women I didn't love about eight times no and I buy it every time every single time I buy it love comes into my life it goes come on yes so this is love not like the others this is real love I wouldn't lie to you nine times in a row you ass open that door but you got to keep trying to make it work you know cuz I love women I love women now there's this big rage I don't know if it's here in England it is in the States the sexual counselling thing you've heard about this people are going to psychologists for sexual counselling you don't need sexual counselling you just need a tongue communicate talk to each other open up women if you like something a certain way tell us about it fill us in don't tell your mom don't tell your girlfriend's your hairdresser your little buddies he doesn't kiss me right he doesn't know me what we do it guys when we die well sigh some strong lovers in this group okay I leave you with one thought because I used to think honesty I really did I used to think honesty was the thing that made a relationship work that made it like come together made it stronger I like to publicly laugh at that theory now why right to the face forever honey forever thank you very much good night

Channel: zwitterzwitter

Views: 811,297

Rating: 4.8857398 out of 5

Keywords: Sam, Kinison, American, Stand-up, comedy, Bill, Hicks

Id: DZUQM0ib2CI

Length: 6min 30sec (390 seconds)

Published: Sat Aug 09 2008