Russell Peters - Somebody Gonna Get Hurt Real Bad

good to be back here Jewish people in the house Jews all right I feel bad for Jewish people I'm not Jewish but I felt bad for Jewish people I feel bad you know why because people always say stuff about you and it irritates me it's just always the same crap how Jews are so cheap I hate that you know why because I'm East Indian we get out cheap you any day of the week man I saw an Indian guy trying to bargain his way into the theater tonight man he was at the box office how much to get in how much Wow that's a lot of money I tell you what I've got this goat we can't help being cheap man it's in our blood when my dad first moved to Canada he couldn't get his head around the idea that he had to pay the price whatever he saw he's trying to bargain everywhere he goes he'd pull up for gas in the early 70s man it was like 30 cents a liter my dad would pull up hello my friend listen I see it says 30 cents a liter I'll give you 28 come on I'm in the back I'm like dad please just pay whatever it says shut them out you learn how to bargain I'm sorry my son is an idiot my friend the guy down the road said he'd give it to me for 28 cents but I like you I want to give you the business I'm gonna back please dad just pay whatever it says shut up or I'll beat you somebody gonna get a hurt real bad cuz Indian parents will beat their kids you know what I my theory is any immigrant parent will beat their kids if your parents weren't born in the country you live in they beat your ass when you're growing up man god forbid you look stupid in front of Canadians I'd be doing something dumb my dad whoa hey don't do that you look like an idiot that's for the Canadians to do immigrant parents will beat their kids man and white kids that never got beat please do not hang around immigrant kids cuz you'll get us killed man you know why we hang out with you you give us all the wrong ideas I remember hanging around this one white kid Ryan when I was 10 years old I went to his house after school one day right walking to his house his parents never beat him and then everything yelled at him he could do anything he wanted nothing was gonna happen to him and he was an angry Kid we walk into his house his mom goes Ryan go clean your room go to hell [ __ ] his mom goes what am I gonna do with him but his ass I go Ryan you can't talk to your mom like that yes I can she's a stupid [ __ ] don't say that man so hit you know she won't she's not allowed to the hell are you talking about man my parents hit me well next time they try it you tell them to go to hell are you sure positive so I went home for the last time I walk in the house my dad goes Russell come and do the dishes go to hell dad what the hell did you say to me I'll beat your ass somebody gonna get a hurt real bad tonight and that was my dad's threat too right before he'd beat me all the time was paid Russell somebody gonna go to hurt real bad I hated that threat you know why cuz he'd always say somebody he'd never tell you it was you I mean you knew it was you when he give you that hole and then take it away somebody gonna get a hurts feel bad somebody I'm not going to say who oh I think you might know him very well I'm in the back praying I hope it's my brother man please it's a little brat Ryan at school a few days later man I was like yo your little plan never worked man oh sorry man I forgot to tell you the other half you got a threatened to call Children's Aid you sure that's the one man you call Children's Aid he's done they're gonna take him away he's gonna get in trouble trusting you man was about to get my next beating I said don't do it don't do it I'll phone Children's Aid you ever had your parents call your bluff you'll do what I'll phone Children's Aid let me get you the phone what are you doing if I phone them you'll get in trouble I might get into a little bit of trouble but I know that it's going to take them 22 minutes to get here in that time somebody going to get a hurt real bad Wednesday show thank you I donated a kidney to my brother that don't clap he owed me money when one Jew tonight babe um how about a bath or something yeah

Channel: Just For Laughs

Views: 1,971,599

Keywords: Just for Laughs, JFL, Stand Up Comedy, Stand-up, Stand up, Comedy, Comedian, Montreal, Russell Peters, Russell Peters YouTube, Russell Peters Comedy, Russell Peters Comedian, russell peters, russell peters comedian, watch russell peters, comedian russell peters, comedy russell peters, russell peters stand up, russell peters standup, standup russell peters, stand up russell peters, russell peters JFL, russell peters just for laughs, russell peters somebody gonna get hurt real bad

Id: Adz4l5qEpD4

Length: 6min 23sec (383 seconds)

Published: Fri Mar 18 2016