Russell Peters - My Mom Wanted To Pick My Wife

smelling of lavender here's Russell Peters good to be home man Canada just came back from South Africa I was in the motherland not my motherland you know black people's motherland I'm Indian we have our own motherland England you ever seen the movie gods must be crazy oh yeah you see that with the little African brother running around and he's talking with everyone to it and I was watching that and I was thinking myself whoever wrote this is brilliant and then I went to South Africa that's a real language I didn't know that they really talked like the head I was in my elevator in my hotel there and these three African guys get on board they're having a conversation all I hear is soon as who doesn't know once in a while since the truth at a certain clothes everywhere I shouldn't I dose illumise ha ha and I'm standing there like a jackass laughing to myself like they're really talk like it's then I almost got into a fight with him cuz I was eating pop rocks and they thought I was swearing at you got to go out there man get around the world see stuff I went to South Africa you know what freaked me out there's Indian people there not one or two millions of us millions of enya and they've been there for like seven eight generations you know the messed up part is for my people over there they were taken to South Africa as slaves who the hell uses an Indian as a slave we don't make good slaves do I look ready to do hard labor right now no we don't do hard would give a calculator will do your taxes you know it I mean I will you imagine it's horrible you imagine how upset the first slave owners were all right Raj here's what you're gonna do get in that field and pick that cotton no no I can't do that this is not good no let me tell you what we'll do you pick the cotton and I will get the t-shirts made and together we can wholesale it any people all over the world man you travel around the world that's what you'll find you'll find Indian people anywhere in the world man I think in the 1800's that was our biggest export in Dedes like we were do an inventory like oh my god we have way too many people we keep it on that boat you go to Guyana you go to Trinidad you go to East Africa we'll all meet in North America I grew up around a lot of black people all my friends now all my black friends are older they have kids and one of my friends has all daughters and he gave his daughters these ridiculous names I goes your daughter's men cuz you have my daughter's man sir Lakeisha Aisha alopecia Peniche awadhi shaaa what the hell kind of names are those because those are African names like those aren't African names man you got to hear real African names man those are cool names I was at this casino in South Africa I was playing blackjack and I look at my dealer and I think they put this guy there just to confuse you when you're gambling I swear to god there's an African dude I look at his nametag the guy's name was spelt exclamation mark x OB i le and I'm like how the hell do you say that so I thought I'd take a shot right I'm like yeah I could I got another card there uh somebody dumpy name see cuz I thought you had to start big you know cuz the exclamation was at the beginning of the name right like if it was a question mark I'd be like Dobby lay but it was an exclamation somewhere dummy late and he looks at me and it goes please do not yell in the casino like I'm not yelling man and just trying to say your name was that does not oh you would say my name I go well how do you say your name I swear to god man the guy goes my name is pronounced belay that's a wicked name Han Theatre in the beginning of his name I don't care my first child is gonna get up in the beginning of his name and everybody is making a big deal about a whole same-sex marriage law being passed in Ontario I mean you know it doesn't bother me people were getting really mad about oh man that's messed up I'm we're gonna raise my kids and they see two dudes gay marriage is wrong you know this doesn't affect you you know I mean if it doesn't if it's not bothering you don't let it bother you no same-sex marriage doesn't affect me I got bigger things to worry about I got to worry about arranged marriages gonna agree and it's gonna be out of control when they got same-sex arranged marriages that's when it's gonna be out of control you know the Patel family figures out their sons gay had a young age we must find him a nice boy someone who dresses well my parents tried that on me man it's a big problem in our community my parents tried to get me an arranged marriage my mom came to me last year she goes Russell you're getting older and you're not married what if I bring some nice girls home for you and you see what they're like I go my bring nice girls home all the time you know they they just leave in the morning you know that's what that's a nice girl you know my mom wanted to pick my wife I wouldn't let my mom pick my clothes you see my mom walking him and this girl I know she's a little big now but you'll grow into her and just for the record folks I need to let you guys in on a secret Indian people we know what we sound like you know I mean we know what the accent sounds like we don't actually need you to remind us all right we know it's not a cool accent thank you you're never gonna see two Indian guys in a club Ling hey man don't we sound cool we know what it sounds like but we know the Indian accents limitations you know we know what it's good for what it's not good for you know it's not good for meeting women we know that you know it's not gonna help you in a come hello baby you're not gonna get any action but you know what the Indian accent is good for cutting tension you got a tense situation pop in the Indian accent tensions gone picture a serious courtroom drama Your Honor my client look like complete Doody thank you very much for your denied have you guys been watching this aids documentary on Fox I think it's called Glee I have my own idea for new social networking site it's it's like Twitter but it's called fritter and on fritter what you do is you tell people in the moment what you could have been doing with your life if you weren't wasting it reporting on your mundane activities

Channel: Just For Laughs

Views: 7,338,610

Keywords: Just for Laughs, JFL, Stand Up Comedy, Stand-up, Stand up, Comedy, Comedian, Montreal, Russell Peters, Russell Peters YouTube, Russell Peters Comedy, Russell Peters Comedian, russell peters, russel peters, russell peters comedian, watch russell peters, russell peters full, comedian russell peters, russell peters stand up, russell peters standup, Russell Peters My Mom Wanted To Pick My Wife, Russell Peters Arranged Marriage, Russell Peters Indian Accent, Russell Peters African

Id: EFxNtTks9VU

Length: 7min 45sec (465 seconds)

Published: Wed Aug 03 2016