Russell Peters's Funniest jokes on Indians.ll Funny desi jokes.

[Music] I feel bad you know why because people always say stuff about you and it irritates me it's just always the same crap tall Jews are so cheap I hate that you know why because I'm East Indian we get out cheap you any day of the week man I saw an Indian guy trying to bargain his way into the theater tonight man he was at the box office how much to get in how much Wow that's a lot of money I tell you what I've got this goat we can't help being cheap man it's in our blood when my dad first moved to Canada he couldn't get his head around the idea that he had to pay the price whatever he saw he's trying to bargain everywhere he goes he'd pull up for gas in the early 70s man it was like 30 cents a liter my dad would pull up hello my friend listen I exist as 30 cents a liter I'll give you 28 come on I'm in the back I'm like that please just pay whatever it says shut your mouth you learn how to bargain I'm sorry my son is an idiot my friend the guy down the road said he'd give it to me for 28 cents but I like you I want to give you the business I mean back please dad just pay whatever it says shut up or I'll beat you somebody gonna get a hurt real bad you got to go out there man get around the world see stuff I went to South Africa you know what freaked me out there's Indian people there not one or two millions of us millions of vinya and they've been there for like seven eight generations how you know the messed up part is for my people over there they were taken to South Africa as slaves who the hell uses an Indian as a slave we don't make good slaves do I look ready to do hard labor right now no we don't do hard give a calculator will do your taxes you know what I mean I will you magic it's horrible you imagine how upset the first slave owners were all right Raj here's what you're gonna do get in that field and pick that cotton no I can't do that this is not good no let me tell you what we'll do you pick the cotton and I will get the t-shirts made and together we can wholesale it any people all over the world may travel around the world that's what you'll find you'll find any people anywhere in the world man I think in the 1800's that was our biggest export indeed it's like we were doing inventory like oh my god we have way too many people we'll give it on that boat you go to Guyana you go to Trinidad you go to East Africa we'll all meet in North America does it affect me I got bigger things to worry about I got to worry about arranged marriages it's gonna be out of control when they got same-sex arranged marriages that's what's gonna be out of control you know the Patel family figures out their sons gay had a young age we must find him a nice boy someone who dresses well my parents tried that on me man it's a big problem in our community my parents tried to get me an arranged marriage my mom came to me last year she goes to Russell they're getting older and you're not married what if I bring some nice girls home for you and you see what they're like I go my bring nice girls home all the time is nothing they just leave in the morning you know that's a that's a nice girl you know my mom wanted to pick my wife I wouldn't let my mom pick my clothes you see my mom walking in with this girl I know she's a little big now but you'll grow into her and just for the record folks I need to let you guys in on a secret Indian people we know what we sound like you know I mean we know what the accent sounds like we don't actually need you to remind us we know it's not a cool accent that mean you're never gonna see two Indian guys in a club Ling hey man don't we sound cool we know what it sounds like but we know the Indian accents limitations you know we know what it's good for what it's not good for you know it's not good for meeting women we know that and it's not gonna help you in a cup hello baby you're not gonna get any action but you know what the Indian accent is good for cutting tension you got a tense situation pop in the Indian accent tensions go on picture a serious courtroom drama Your Honor my client [Music]

Channel: India Trendz

Views: 2,396,810

Rating: 4.6620126 out of 5

Keywords: funnyindianjokes, funnyindianjokesinenglish, #indianjokesoftheday, desijokes

Id: uE09NKl2VJ4

Length: 6min 49sec (409 seconds)

Published: Fri Feb 22 2019