>>Russell Peters: I see some Asian people, that's good. Are you Chinese? >>Audience member: Yes >>Russell: Woo! [Laughter] I'm saying, that could be your last name, "Woo!" [Laughter] Just messin' with you. [Laughter continues] That's who can't do business together! Chinese people and Indian people cannot do business together. 'Cause Indians cannot live without a bargain, and Chinese people cannot give you a bargain. [Laughter] Their objective is to get every penny from you, and ours is to keep every penny. [Laughter] There' a really bad power struggle, there. I went to this Chinese mall, some of you may know it, "Pacific Mall." [Laughter] That's the wrong place for an Indian guy to go. [Laughter] I saw this bag - I wanted to buy this bag there, and I go, to the Chinese man behind the counter, "How much?" He goes, [Chinese accent] "35 dollars." [Laughter] "Uhm, how about $30?" And Chinese people will never tell you, "no." They'll tell you "no" - the longest "no" you've ever heard in your life. Like you just said the most ridiculous thing they've ever heard in their life. "I'll give you $30." [Chinese accent] "Noooo!" [Laughter] [Chinese accent] "Noooo." [Chinese accent] "I can't do $30. I sell you $30, today, you come tomorrow, I close down!" [Laughter and Applause] I'm like, "Alright, well then, give me a deal on the purse, man, I don't wanna 35 bucks." [Chinese accent] "Okay, one sec-- I talk to my wife, one second. Thank you." [Imitating Cantonese] [Laughter] [Chinese accent] "Okay, you seem like nice guy. I give you best price - $34.50" [Laughter] I'm like, "That's 50 cents, man!" [Chinese accent] "50 cents a lot of money!" [Chinese accent] "You save 50 cent here, then maybe you go somewhere else, you save another 50 cent - then you have one dollar!" [Laughter] [Chinese accent] "Then you take your dollar, you go to the dollar store, you buy something else!" [Laughter and Applause] He starts turning into my money manager, or something, you know? [Chinese accent] "We make financial plan for you!" [Laughter] I'm like, "You know what dude, forget it. I don't want it. It's not a deal." He starts telling me stuff, that has nothing to do with anything. I go, "I'm leaving!" He goes, [Chinese accent] "Hey! Be a man!" [Laughter] [Chinese accent] "Be a man! Do the right thing!" [Laughter] What are you talking about, "do the right thing?" [Laughter] [Chinese accent] "Maybe you don't buy the purse right now, you walk around the mall - you see something else, you don't buy, you come back you say, 'Hey! I want the purse for $34.50' - I say, 'Noo!' You don't get for $34.50, now price gone up, maybe $40!" [Laughter] [Chinese accent] "Be a man." [Laughter and Applause] ♪♪
