r/Relationships - ABANDONED After Confrontation Sends Me To The Hospital...

g'day there guys marky here back at it again with another episode of r slash relationship advice now if you love this content i want you to sit back relax chuck a prawn on the barbie a like on the video and enjoy the bloody good stuff that's gonna happen today i don't know what but tell me what you would do in these situations posted by user throw ra 556 fb titled my 26 male girlfriend 25 female has grown distant after i got beat up for defending a group of girls being harassed mandatory i've been with my girlfriend sarah for three years and been living together for one and a half she's honestly everything i've ever wanted and i'm planning on proposing somewhere next year so three weeks ago i was out with sarah at a local bar drinking and having a great time with her as it was just after quarantine had ended where i live at around 3am we decided to head home as we headed to the parking lot where we had parked we noticed a group of two girls and a guy who was clearly drunk trying to hit on them and get them to go to his house the girls were clearly very uncomfortable and trying to find a way out sarah told me that we had to do something and i told her to go call the cops and get someone as well because the very least i wanted was her to get hurt during this so i approached the group and tried to pretend i was the boyfriend of the one of the two girls and long story short i got my ass kicked the guy was at least six foot four and 220 pounds whereas i'm 5'11 and 167 pounds i'm fairly muscular myself but there was no way i could have taken someone that big i knew it from the start at least from all the noise we had made a lot of people rushed to the scene and the girls got away safe i was rushed to the er because the had broken my ribs which had punctured my right lung yay after that incident sarah has grown distant from me even though she visited and stayed with me at the hospital she hasn't been the same since and i thought she just needed more time to move past this however five days ago she told me that she's not the same person after what happened and she doesn't know if she feels safe with me after i got beat up like that honestly hearing that hurt me more than when i got my ribs broke she has moved to her parents for the time being and told me she needs time meanwhile i had no one here to help me so my brother left his two boys and wife to move in with me i know i'm just venting at this point but i don't want this to be over like that reddits is there anything i can do to salvage the situation i don't have advice honestly i just need to say that what you did was absolutely amazing and that any person who doesn't appreciate and respect that isn't worth it i suppose it's fine if that's something important for her but i know i'd rather have someone who's willing to fight even if they lose than just someone physically tough who might not morally care enough you defended not only those girls but your girlfriend and yourself i think you should just give her time and if she decides to move on to just focus on knowing who you are and that you did the right thing hell yes i so agree i find it more respectable when someone who might lose tries to stand up to bullies anyway it's a risk and that's far braver than someone huge and strong standing up to a wimpy little bully rp did the right thing even though he had to push through fear to do it i'm flawed that his girlfriend disrespects that frankly opie got a get out of jail free card and i think he should use it on this crappy fair weather girlfriend can't agree with this enough op you're my hero for doing this sir you're more man than most men will ever be you did something where others would have done nothing i'm so sorry you were going through this opie replies what hurts me most is that she's not here with me right now i get that what i did might not have been the wisest thing to do and that for some reason her attraction or whatever for me has changed but we can't even talk about it in the three years we've been together not once have i been absent when she needed me i can't even imagine being less attracted to someone after that event you saved those girls from a dude that obviously would have harmed them if he was willing to beat you into a hospital stay i'm sitting in a puddle just thinking about it it's toxic masculinity to think you have to win every fight and to abandon you in a time of need after she pushed you to do something christ what a toddler just because she can't see what big dick energy this is doesn't mean everyone else doesn't if she lost attraction over you having balls of steel she can f off what you did is truly honorable and your girlfriend should commend you for that and not feel unsafe around you i'm sure if she were in the same situation as those girls she would be silently hoping a guy would show up and confront the guy wouldn't she she should feel lucky to have you and know that you would risk getting your ass whooped to defend her the fact you got hurt doesn't matter your intentions is the most important thing if she leaves you she leaves you i'm sure you can find someone else who would be happy to have a great man like you if my significant other had the guts to stand up to someone bigger than them to protect someone else i'd feel safer with them than with anyone else updates my girlfriend is growing distant after i got beat up defending a group of girls being harassed first of all i want to say thank you to every single one of you who commented on my last post the love and support i received was immense and it actually made me feel a little better in the mess of it all thank you from the bottom of my heart all of the following happened yesterday so excuse me if i ramble a bit it's all fresh in my mind until yesterday it had been 14 days since my last contact with sarah my brother had left four days prior because i felt bad keeping him away from his family for so long plus i could take care of myself to some extent so around 2pm while i was making lunch i hear the doorbell ring i go to open the door and there she is sarah with tears in her eyes eye bags frizzy hair looking like a total mess during the time we've been together i've seen her in her ups and downs but i'd never seen her in such a horrible state before so i let her in she sits on the couch and we still haven't said a word as we were both dumbfounded i was so overwhelmed by emotions i wanted to hug her i wanted to full-on blaster i didn't even know what i wanted to do so i did nothing and waited for her to talk after five or ten minutes of silence she starts sobbing and saying she's sorry and then full-on crying at this point i can barely hold myself together so i hold her hand and try to calm her down so i can figure out what's going on after a while she finally somewhat calms down and starts talking and that's where it got bad something that i didn't include in the original post because it wouldn't make sense to anyone is that sarah's mother has been divorced and remarried once from what sarah has told me her biological father cheated on her mother while she was still a kid and that's why they broke up and that's also why she doesn't have any kind of relationship with her father it seems odd when i first learned about it but i didn't question it that's not the whole story though sarah's biological father didn't only cheat on her mother he was a drug addict piece of crap that also used to beat her up frequently without getting into a lot of graphic detail in one instance when sarah's brother tried to intervene and protect her mother he ended up getting beat up too so when she saw me intervening and getting my ass kicked in the bar incidents it triggered some kind of ptsd in her head that she could not control that's why she had grown distant and eventually left it all spiraled out of control and she could not handle it in those two weeks we'd been apart she'd barely eaten or slept and even made some really dark thoughts which i'd rather not go into she told me she's a horrible girlfriend for leaving me alone in my condition and that she doesn't expect us to be together again after that which i told her isn't the case so we have a very long road ahead of us my number one priority right now is getting her to see a therapist which i suggested we can do together if she's scared to do alone so yeah that's where we are at some of you were right that there was some deeper issue behind what happened but i could not have possibly known i also want to take this opportunity to say something that i got messaged about a lot i got a lot of comments and messages saying that i was a [ __ ] for what i did at that parking lot and saying that i should mind my own business next time and not play the hero etc first of all i did not initiate the fight with the dude as i said when i got there i tried to pretend i was the boyfriend of one of the girls in case when that didn't work i got between the girls and the dude trying to create some space between them and that's when he started to push me and eventually started throwing punches secondly no matter how hard i hit the gym i would never be able to take that guy one-on-one as i said i'm pretty fit and i've been working out for several years but the fella was a lot bigger than me unless i had a gun or something which isn't legal in my country i was doomed finally for the people telling me to mind my own business well let me tell you what exactly i was doing it is mine and everyone else's responsibility to look after the ones who can't protect themselves in this crappy world no i do not consider myself a hero nor did i do it for the show i did it because in some other instance one of those girls could have been my girlfriend sister mother needing help and these girls were somebody else's girlfriend sister or mother if i was in that situation a hundred more times i would act the same edits i also talked to her about the proposal i wanted to make this year i was planning on doing it as a surprise but in the way the things have turned out i figured it would be better if she knows it first we both agreed that it should be delayed for now thank you for the updates and the additional information to add context i wish you well in your relationship as a girl i want to thank you opie for standing up for the two girls not a lot of people would have done that especially if they knew that they weren't as strong as the other person and it takes a whole lot of courage i'm glad they had someone to protect them and we really need more people like you yes i was attacked after ignoring cat calls on my way home from a late night class in university and if it weren't for a couple of brave and selfless lads who heard me crying out and threw themselves in to help me and got a broken jaw and a nose respectively i can't imagine how horribly my life would have changed that night some men are golden and opie is one i was attacked after ignoring catcalls on my way home from a late night class in university this makes me frustrated and angry and scared i hate that we have to consider some guy's feelings when we're being harassed just in case he decides ignoring him is some affront to his fragile ego and decides to prove his masculinity by hurting someone i'm so sorry that happened to you and thank god for those guys who didn't mind their own business and got involved exactly why i carry pepper spray everywhere i go there's good and bad people in this world and if i'm in the wrong place at the wrong time and some guy decides known means yes i have some kind of defense especially if there's no guy like op around don't listen to the people saying mind your own business op you are the salt of the earth those girls will likely never forget what you did for them and as a fellow female i seriously thank you for looking out for them you did well dude you did really well both in what you did standing in for those girls and what you are doing now with your girlfriend not every argument can be won by using fists and not every battle you fight you are going to win but doing the right thing is when you start actually winning for real and even though you may think you lost a fight you should understand and be happy with the fact that you won anyway you stood up for what was right and that's a win in my book if everyone did as the naysayers claim and minded your own business well it just makes the world a darker place unless people like yourself stand up even at risk of coming out the second best things just slowly turn to crap you and i and others here know that this is not the world we wish to live in so work through this with your girlfriend do the therapy and keep talking about things you'll both get to a much better place and live a long and happy life and never be afraid of doing what is right posted by user throw ra mixed babies titled my 29 male girlfriends 27 female dad discouraged me from proposing because their family isn't thrilled about us having dark babies me and my girlfriend naomi are an interracial couple with her being korean and me being black we've dated for just under five years now and for the past few months i've been planning on proposing i'm pretty traditional so i thought it would be a good idea to ask naomi's dad for his blessing before i proposed i asked earlier this month and when i arrived at their house i was greeted by naomi's mother and father who invited me in after a little talking i told them that i was going to propose and wanted their blessing her mother was ecstatic and her father didn't seem pleased and he told me it was okay for me to propose we talked more and the topic of babies was brought up by her mother i told her that i wanted to have kids with her and she got even happier we continued talking when i told them i needed to start heading home her mother said she would send me home with some food and left for the kitchen me and her dad have a small language barrier between us that usually is alleviated by either naomi or her mother so we kind of just sat there in silence he then told me this i'll clean it up but it was difficult to understand as he isn't great at english you are a very nice young man and we like you a lot we'd be happy to have you with our family but we are not too happy about you and her having dark babies i was stunned and kind of just awkwardly laughed we sat there for another two minutes before her mom came out with a wrapped plate when i got home i said nothing about this to naomi i know i needed to talk to her about what was said but i don't want to be the one that accuses her family of being racists and i know this is probably irrational but the way her father said it put the thought in my head that naomi might not want kids because of how dark i am how do i approach her about this in the least accusatory way possible she probably already knows you can ask her if she knows how they feel about you or if they've said anything about you two getting married and having kids she likely wants you but i suspect her parents racism is not news i guess she probably already has heard it before this is the first time i've ever felt anything akin to racism from them before her dad showed his true face he may have said we but don't immediately assume that includes his wife definitely this he's likely speaking for other people who don't share his opinion you're probably right that threw me off it seems like her mum wanted me to put a baby in her daughter he also waited for her to leave which is a good sign he knew that she wouldn't agree with it lots of old school asians are really racist it's a pretty known thing socially ingrained sounds like he still respects you and he may not mean it maliciously but in a way that says socially we will be looked down on by other asians yes this doesn't make it right but honestly don't take it to heart it's unfortunately a common belief among asians that dark is ugly he probably thought nothing of it when he said it and i don't think the wife was on the same boat with him you and your soon-to-be wife can break these ideologies you may be taking this the wrong way my grandmother is japanese well from a tropical island in okinawa which is claimed by japan anyway her english wasn't that great and my japanese is very bad my first fiance was mexican she tried to tell me something similar and i didn't understand my cousins who speak better english had to explain i don't think it's so much that your in-laws are racist that they're afraid your children may not be fully accepted outside their immediate family asian cultures as a whole don't like outsiders and mixed-race children while treated great inside their immediate family may not be fully accepted within the asian community as a whole my grandma was trying to tell me to be prepared and it's not even about individual races most asian communities don't even like other asians and basically everyone hates japanese people for being dicks during world war ii when i was in korea people told me all the time that i'd be so pretty if i lightened my skin i'm half asian half white they also told me i'd be so pretty if i would just dye my white hairs black laser my freckles off pluck my eyebrows wear better fashion the list goes on a lot of the people making these comments were strangers it's just a crazy image-oriented place i had friends there with good jobs who told me they spent 60 of their income on clothes and makeup a friend's mom casually offered to pay for freckle removal surgery for me while i was there it sounds less like the dad is racist then he's anticipating social hardship for them and for the baby and of course the people trying to avoid social hardship by living up to their social standards perpetuate the hardship if i were you the conversation i'd have with naomi would be about preparing both of you to navigate this aspect of korean culture together as a couple and as parents your kids are in fact going to get some crap from their korean relatives for being dark and for being too fat or too skinny or not dressed well enough or etc etc etc if not from their grandparents from the extended family or just people they run into if they ever visit korea it might be pretty good natured crap in a bunch of cases but it'll still be crap and it'll be good for you guys to have a game plan update my girlfriend's father discouraged me from proposing because their family isn't thrilled about us having dark babies thank you for your input it really helped me and most of y'all were right on the target yesterday afternoon i sat my girlfriend naomi down and had a conversation with her about what her dad said to me i tried to leave out any mention of proposal and told her i was in the neighborhood and decided to pop by terrible lie i know but she bought it i told her what her dad said about us having dark babies and asked if she had any similar feelings about our kids popping out half black she looked at me like i was out of my mind she told me she didn't give a freak about the color of her kids as long as i was the dad which was reassuring she was not so happy with her dad she wanted us to take a drive over there and talk with her parents about it that evening we dropped by unannounced and when her mum opened the door to see us she immediately asked naomi to show her the ring naomi was confused and die about crap myself i like an idiot didn't call ahead to her parents that i hadn't proposed i guess her mum thought we were going to surprise her with the engagements and assumed i had already proposed i was speechless they began speaking in korean but from context i assume her mum was asking if i was too cheap to buy her an engagement ring and naomi looked me and started hugging and kissing me my secret was out and i told her i had already asked her parent for their blessing she was a few seconds from crying but sucked it up so we could speak to her dad like i said in my og post my future father-in-law isn't great at english so he and naomi spoke in korean according to naomi she asked him why he told me that and he said he was worried about their extended family not viewing our babies as korean and being rude to them or me for being black i guess this did not come across well in english because he was just concerned for me and our kids he didn't care that our babies would have dark skin this was a huge relief her father isn't the racist their extended families are but like screw them who cares what they think i am just so glad that our future kids are going to have grandparents that are going to love them only downside is now naomi is expecting my proposal so i really gotta knock her socks off thanks so much for all the help good news is you're pretty much guaranteed to get a yes let us know how the proposal goes do you have any idea how you'll surprise her not yet lol my original plans got scrapped thanks to the pandemic and now my second plan got shot down now that she's expecting it hopefully plan 3 will be ironclad here is a different idea my husband proposed early in the am we had already planned a day out we just went to a pretty golf course to admire the flowers many have concession places where golfers can buy snacks and we got chocolate muffins then he proposed buy some flowers then we had the whole day together i had the whole day to admire my ring and just be with him we went for a lovely dinner can't remember what all we did lol i think we went for a walk on the sea wall you know pretty places but having the whole day to enjoy our engagements just together was fun don't take a long time planning just do it since the cat is essentially out of the bag i agree with the whole having time to just be together and admire the ring my now husband proposed in philadelphia on our way walking to the museum i'm an art nerd he pulled me into a little park area and proposed by a fountain i then spent all day staring at the ring instead of any of the arts but i was happy to just be able to be with him it was a weekend getaway so i didn't even update my social media or my parents or anyone until we got home it was nice alright guys that's where i'm gonna end today's video i really do hope you enjoyed it and maybe even learned something that you didn't know before if you haven't already please do feel free to click that like button as it really does help me in the youtube algorithm and if you haven't already and you love today's video please feel free to subscribe i would love it a lot also big big big shout out to all my patreon members and channel subscribers you guys are all up in the screen right now i love you i love your faces also i love seeing you guys all chatting down below in the comments it brightens my day to see the stories that you guys share and just the kind words you guys always have for my videos as well as everyone else in the videos i love you too but honestly your ongoing support means the world to me and i just love it so much that you guys are able to support a career for myself that i invest so much time into and you guys honestly motivate me to work harder each and every day to put more love into the videos for you guys if you guys have watched this far in the video and you haven't already subscribed on patreon or become a channel member that's cool you don't have to but there are links down below you can donate any amount of money pledge that any month cancel whenever i'm completely cool with it it's just there for you to support me if you'd like to go the extra mile and i'll go the extra mile for you guys by putting out new amazing content every single day with that said guys i really hope you have a good day night sleep bath time at work whatever you're up to today this has been marky i'll see you in the next amazing video bye

Channel: Markee

Views: 21,065

Rating: 4.9436622 out of 5

Keywords: r/relationshipadvice, relationship, advice, relationshipadvice, r/relationship, reddit, Markee, Markee relationship, r/justnoMIL, r/amitheasshole

Id: yqSF9PZXxO8

Length: 25min 13sec (1513 seconds)

Published: Thu Jul 30 2020