ron swanson basically being andy's dad for ten minutes straight | Parks and Recreation

stop this no hello andrew what's new um a whole lot check this out i just invented it super straw so just sit here and do your thing do i have to tuck my shirt in because honestly that's kind of a deal breaker let her fly hey wait where's april is she all right yeah i just gave her the day off would it be weird if i asked for the day off yeah no it's okay i didn't think so hey ron can i ask you kind of an important question you know like when you go to the atm and you get money is there an actual guy standing behind the wall who slides dollar bills in there no yeah this is robots oh actually you know what i do have a serious question in a movie predator can you rub any kind of mud on yourself to prevent predator from seeing you with this thermal heat signature site or is it one ow that sucks are you hurt oh no all good all good oops except for my mouth oh whoa five second rule no ah come on we better get you to a dentist if you're gonna take a college course andrew you should explore a new subject broaden your horizons uh horizons are dumb never broaden your horizons yep just take something you're great at and get an easy a no offense ron but april's way sounds way easier guitar for beginners i value a good education so i don't want to see andy waste his time in college of all my co-workers he is one of a small number whom i do not actively root against uh there i go getting all sappy receptionist says she'll fit you in as soon as there's an opening if you're all right i'm going to head back to the park do you know what my social security number is or if i'm allergic to anything i don't like corn should i put that down or will that be confusing because i do like candy corn oh ron what a mess here let me help you all i wanted was two hours where i got to forget that i was a parent oh look i found all three differences those are two completely different pictures pierre garcon was a six-round pick kali was the fourth round indianapolis colts know how to draft so well they really do andy this was delicious it's awesome huh it's a whole new meat delivery system thank you son what do you say we go out to the parking lot run a few pass plays to burn off the calories you are an unstoppable good idea machine i like andy i'm surrounded by a lot of women in this department and that includes the men peyton manning reading the defense reggie wayne paul's corner andy wait up house ride thirty dollars candy bars fifty dollars fifty dollars god people here are so cheap april where have you been over two phone calls came in unimpeded we're raising money for my college education ron i took a second job back at my old job do you want a shoe shine it's a hundred dollars laugh all you want kyle i already took the money out your wallet oh good news son you have just won a ron swanson scholarship i don't think so i don't remember applying for anything andy ron swanson scholarship wait are you serious stop this no i stomp or you lose the money why not i like the kid and i have the money one thing i promised myself when i buried gold in my backyard was that i'd never be a hoarder or a miser about it oh dude you forgot to put a shirt on i do it all the time it's fine i schlepped here sweet so uh little birdie told me it's your birthday coming up how about a free birthday shoe shine what did this little birdie tell you is going to happen for my birthday nice try ron you're not getting anything out of me andrew please ron look i love you like a father who's not that much older than me like a young uncle or like uh you're my camp counselor but we're adults so we hang out and it's not weird you know or actually here's what it is you're my lacrosse coach i get it i get it what's the point well coach leslie swore me to secrecy so i can't say anything i owe her so much i can't ruin it for her well i respect that see you later okay not if i see you first uncle ron this came out yeah i am starving i haven't had lunch since yesterday so i'm gonna head over to callahan's oh no no don't go there they totally skimp on pickles let me go to bighead joes for you they have the most insane burritos i don't much go for ethnic food trust me they have one that's called the meat tornado literally killed a guy last year you had me at meat tornado well the numbers don't lie i'm a goofus not a gallant been here forever we go don't you want to get your tooth fixed i don't know i think my tooth looks fine just like this well my grandmother was missing that tooth and she was the most beautiful woman on her oil rig you are an adult i'm not your dad if you want to go we can go yay thanks ron that's why you know even though you're not my dad you're like a old brother to me like a cool uncle but old like a grandpa but cool like a son libertarianism is all about individual liberty and it should never be defined by the terms liberal or conservative and communism is no good that's right big swing and a miss yeah and what's the word for when a few clerics are in charge religious oligarchy holy i can remember things i guess [Music] hey keep mine rare a man after my own heart [Applause] this is fun easy girls we'll be careful miss lewis i'm sorry we just wanted to invite you to come trick-or-treating tonight i think i'm a little old can we go wrong please please oh you can come sure we have to go buy seven or else good can you'll be gone sounds perfect come on girls what the hell just happened first day you ready as ready as i'll ever be oh crap i forgot my books and my computer just pay attention to the lecture and enjoy my first day of college my father dropped me off at the steel mill he didn't think i should go to college but i hitched a ride and rolled and learned a lot hope andy does too hey ron can i ask you a question sure it's about april i don't like to get involved in people's personalities i hurt her feelings and now she's pissed at me i feel like if i could just explain myself she'd understand but she's avoiding me it's making me miserable april's in the hospital sick with the flu what i knew it i didn't know that is she okay yeah she's fine you can go visit her tomorrow morning but don't tell her i told her i won't no no no no come here i'll be out here if you need me thanks for doing this ron when it's all said and done there were a few mazes i cheated on also the inside of my mouth is black and hot so do i strip down my underwear or all the way naked hello diane i'm coming home soon to relieve you give you a little break it's no trouble at all i'm a parent i'm always on duty what flavor ice cream would you and the children like i'm getting some for a 30 year old who works for me so i can bring some home for you too you

Channel: Comedy Bites

Views: 1,259,781

Keywords: Comedy Bites, andy dwyer dentist, andy gets the ron swanson scholarship, andy goes to college parks and rec, andy is ron's assistant parks and rec, andy ron shoe shine, ron and andy parks and rec, ron and andy parks and recreation, ron and andy play football, ron andy football, ron andys teacher, ron swanson andy, ron swanson andy meat tornado, ron swanson scholarship episode

Id: I-2lMeHQ5TM

Length: 9min 39sec (579 seconds)

Published: Thu Dec 23 2021