The World According To Andy Dwyer | Parks and Recreation

Diane is awesome and she likes you and you like her I can tell hey I don't recall inviting you in here and B I did not like her she's not my type her life is messy Ron messy is fun okay my whole life is a giant mess and I love it I mean look at my I have gum in my hair let me explain something you tweet when you're in a situation you don't have time to think so I thought to myself don't think Andy act so you weren't thinking not at all I cannot emphasize enough how little I was thinking were you scared no no I wasn't well I I lived in the pit for the better part of last year and made some vermin friends you know what friends sounds stupid colleagues they are bad at sharing but they are good at tag can I cut in line again I feel right at home as a shoeshine I have no idea what I'm doing but I know I'm doing it really really well Margaret's pecan squares they are like crack I brought you one are you so happy working here I don't know Matt it's not that bad year ago I lived in a pit now I got a job and a kick-ass wife and my band is so good and are you gonna eat that pecan square when life gives you lemons make lemonade I read that one so I can't eliminate I like to think that it applies to life I don't want you to go back to London just remember every time you look up at the moon I too will be looking at a moon not the same moon obviously that's impossible see one stupid Skype hey captain status update my new suspect the dude who runs carpet Emporium way I figures criminals love to wrap things up in rugs plus he yelled at me when I try to unroll them all so any well I appreciate your dedication to finding this criminal I think you might want to take into account where the policeman said I mean gosh I can't even investigate bad guys why become a cop at all what are you doing when I get boned out I take my shirt off because the bad feelings make me feel sweaty huh looks like Andy's wearing him down I'm gonna go finish him off he's a jerk he has been such a jerk crying okay lerczak two jerks I just got this super sweet-ass rad crotch rocket I've always wanted one of these but due to you know never having a job I couldn't afford it until now got a really good deal on my lease paying like 12% interest it's like one of the highest you can get hey so I've been trying like crazy to get a hold of April if you see her we tell her I really need to talk to her you got it all right thanks Ron nailed it whoa check out the new digs this place is insane thanks for coming guys I'm super swamped and I need your help Pass you came down here to pass on helping me yeah I wanted to see what your face look like when I said no it was totally worth it Andy you okay I'm fine it's just that life is pointless and nothing matters and I'm always tired also I can't sleep I'm overeating none of my hobbies interests me ever since Andy failed the police academy exam his self-esteem has hit rock-bottom he's always sad and sweaty he's usually happy and sweaty look if you're not gonna pay rent at least clean up your dishes is that all no also the bag of smells was a fun experiment but it has to stop come on no no finally starting to get serious results Andi dude I love you but shape up or move out going on now guitarist for my band is driving me crazy such a control freak that's not a working for your place Andi stop writing phone messages on the wall and eat dude seriously I love you but stop digging that weird hole in the backyard it's mouse rat gonna break up well we're not monster anymore we change it to tackle shaft oh I should just get my own place you should I'll help you you can help me yeah that'd be fun April you're like an angel with no wings so like a person you have two broken bones in your right arm and four in your hand that's the side that hurts how soon until he's better we'll set the fractures I'd like to keep him overnight for observation is there any chance you can fix me in the next 10 minutes sure I'll just advance medical science 30 years great can mouse rat play without you they tried once they're called rat and mouse and they're awful but you have got to find somebody there's an old saying show business the show must go wrong everything always goes wrong and you just have to deal with it Hey Baby it's me will you come down here please and keep me company I'm so bored I need you if I come down there can i least break something of course behave anything you know that Chris gave me this great job as a weekend security guard at City Hall only one problem it's a terrible job I did everything I'm supposed to do and I walked around the building four times only 20 minutes has gone by huh thought maybe ten minutes and gone by since I started talking so I'm in 15 seconds Oh baby playing gone you're here I got so bored I started thinking about existence do i matter to any of us is there a master plan and it works a grand design just dumb stuff like that yeah who cares ah I thought being a security guard would be exciting nope [Music] beeping was sure annoying but this is even more annoying I'll handle this monitor is not a toy Andy anything is a toy if you play with it chalk that up to your concussion well the good news is your cat scans clear whoa Andy I'm really happy you're okay Leslie was worried too we should have checked before to see if you were home oh no I told you I moved out of the pit I just had to go back because I forgot my headphones and I laid down on this really comfy tarp before so you know I'm lying in a cloud serious ways come on yes oh my god I'm going to die I'm so tired everything hurts running is impossible whoa what are you doing Tom now is not the time for criticism how did he do he finishes two mile run in 29 minutes and 43 seconds oh I'm never gonna be a cop I'm gonna have to be a robber oh come on the receptionist so she'll fit you in as soon as there's an opening if you're alright I'm gonna head back to the park quickly do you know my social security numbers or if I'm allergic to anything I don't like corn except for that down or will that be confusing because I do like candy corn oh what a mess here let me help you all I wanted was two hours where I got to forget that I was a parent look I found all three differences those are two completely different pictures oh the hell is for I don't know I couldn't really hear him it sounded like his name is form get his number no good girl Ron Swanson April Ludgate hey I'm just gonna pop over to grain and simple to get the very best ingredients for my burger do you wanna come what is grain and simple it's health food store honey doesn't have a health food store no but snarling does and it's only a 40-minute drive what are you doing Andy I'm getting healthier snacks for the shoeshine stand chris is a food genius did you know that the food you eat becomes energy you know boom that's spaghetti nachos the cookie that's my husband I get why you don't want anyone to know about Duke silver and you don't have to worry your secret is safe with me to even it out I'm gonna tell you all of my secrets oh no that's not necessary I once forgot to brush my teeth for five weeks I didn't actually sell my last card as forgot where I parked it I don't know who Al Gore is and at this point I'm too afraid to ask when they say 2% milk I don't know what the other 98% is when I was a baby my head was so big scientist experiments on me I once threw beer at a swan and then it attacked my niece Rebecca that'll do Andrew [Music]

Channel: Parks and Recreation

Views: 989,014

Keywords: Parks And Rec, Parks and Recreation, Pawnee, NBC, Leslie Knope, Amy Poehler, Rashida Jones, Ann Perkins, Aziz Ansari, Tom Haverford, Nick Offerman, Ron Swanson, Aubrey Plaza, April Ludgate, Chris Pratt, Andy Dwyer, Ben Wyatt, Retta, Jerry Gergich, Donna Meagle, Official Channel, adam scott, jim o'heir, compilation, best moments, funniest moments

Id: L5ti1zfWpog

Length: 10min 8sec (608 seconds)

Published: Wed Jun 24 2020