r/murderedbywords | "why don't you spend money?"

linguistic question from a non-native speaker why is it man in virginia here but florida man in other news uh oh that's because virginia is a place and florida is a derogatory adjective and someone just replied with as someone from florida this chicks out a hundred percent hey everyone my name is jake and welcome to murdered by words where we're gonna be looking at the best insults comebacks and roasts on the internet and we get to sit here and read them and laugh at the people that get roasted like really really roasted there's no coming back it's funny enjoy masks literally block your mouth and nose from oxygen to claim otherwise is to continue cognitive dissonance and refrain from common sense uh covered 19 particles are 0.125 microns o2 is 0.0005 microns if you're mathematically challenged covert 19 is 250 times larger than oxygen using big words like cognitive dissonance doesn't actually make you smarter no they're right it doesn't make you smarter but you know what it does make you it makes you sound like a complete douchebag you sound like a complete douchebag red person you going so hard against nick cannon but when you fall no black person will have your back watch at terry crews when i was young i was never afraid of the kkk it was people like you the threats the intimidation discouraging free thought and the insult of acting white my heart breaks because your behavior only reveals you don't know how powerful you are starbucks barista allegedly wrote isis on muslim woman's drink the manager told aisha that he didn't understand the issue because names get spelt wrong all the time this is what is wrong with kids today no respect for anything anyone this is the future of our great country whoa please your generation couldn't even handle black and white students in the same school i think i mentioned in another video that the name isis used to be like you know the name for the goddess of egypt of something but i don't know and then it just turned into the isis so uh yeah the name kind of changed meaning this was in response to walmart requiring masks for all the temperature in those stores is atrocious there is no air circulation whatsoever no way in hell can anybody be in there with a mask on ah funny i'm an old lady with asthma and i can wear one in stores with no problem yeah it gets a little hot sometimes but i would rather be a little uncomfortable than end up with a tube shoved down my throat or make another sick funny how a short old woman can wear a mask and leave her home without a gun but big strong men cry about having to wear one and need a gun to go to subway oh gram gram's got no chill she's just going in on these guys grown men who play video games are losers not how i was raised and not how men in my family were raised wasted life uh people who attack others their hobbies are losers not how i was raised and not how decent people in my family were raised wasted life what does this guy want people to do like oh you're a fully grown man you should be playing video games you should be out there drinking beer and collecting beer bottles because that that's what men do right yeah i think this guy has a lot of insecurities poor guy poor guy my son hangs out with an autistic kid sometimes and i don't want him to start taking after him and becoming autistic how can i nip this problem in the bud i suggest you have a strong discussion with your child's other parent and suggest that they do the parenting from now on as you sound like a [ __ ] autism is not contagious but i'm afraid stupidity is so please stop spreading yours that's the dumbest one i've read so far like that is just so dumb what how can a disease with one percent mortality shut down the united states ha there are two problems with this question number one it neglects the lore of large numbers and number two it assumes that one of two things happened you die or you're a hundred percent fine the us has a population of 328 million two hundred thousand if one percent of the population dies that's 3.282 million people dead three million people dead would monkey wrench the economy no matter what that more than doubles the number of annual deaths all at once the second bit is people keep talking about deaths deaths deaths only one percent die just one percent one is a small number no big deal right what about the people who survive for every one person who dies 19 more require hospitalization 18 of those will have permanent heart damage for the rest of their lives 10 will have permanent lung damage three will have strokes two will have neurological damage that leads to chronic weakness and the loss of coordination two will have neurological damage that leads to loss of cognitive function so now all of a sudden that but it's only one percent fatal becomes 3.2 million people dead 62 million hospitalized 60 million people with permanent heart damage 32.8 million people with permanent lung damage 9.8 million people with strokes 6.5 million people with muscle weakness and 6.5 million people with loss of cognitive function that's the thing the folks who keep going on about only one percent dead what's the big deal don't care the choice is not ruin the economy to save one percent if we reopen the economy it will be destroyed anyway the u.s economy cannot survive everyone getting coveted 19. i completely agree those are big numbers you should be like oh wow yeah we should just stay clear and stay inside and stuff but you should already do that from 3.2 million deaths like that's a lot that's like a lot of debts why are you not scared of that number huh if the mask worked then why we gotta stay inside if we gotta stay inside why are we gonna wear the mask huh if you have a right tackle why do you need a right guard it's because if the tackle doesn't do its job as per usual the right guard has to clean up feel free to block me bob it'd be the first time you blocked anyone this is the rt for the cincinnati bengals apparently as a woman who's given birth to children yeah i think it's pretty simple sex has consequences people these days bend over backwards refusing to accept they've traded instant gratification for things of real meaning and they want to be sanctimonious about it wait if you're against abortions because sex has consequences how come you didn't refuse treatment for the lung cancer you got from smoking two packs a day smoking has consequences or are when you dig into their past hello from wisconsin 826 deaths over 5.8 million people is in one three 0.00142.4137 death rate hmm or are we not talking about that i love how people think there needs to be more death to take something seriously so how many bodies would satisfy you that's also not how you calculate death rate right it's 826 over how many people actually caught it would be right if only a thousand people caught it the death rate would be a lot higher the ar-15 is the modern-day musket an everyday gun for everyday citizens the ar-15 is not an assault rifle there is no such thing assault is an act not a kind of rifle oh yeah running shoes don't exist running is an act not a shoe we've got a few million years without masks i'm prepared to go for another million while masks may be productive for inhibiting viral transmission it leaves us partially inhuman for interaction as we are programmed to seek facial clues to a certain friend or foe nice job though wait our species has not existed for a million years and our species has in fact used face coverings to reduce disease transmission for many many years fun fact many cultures consider it basic non and douchebaggery to wear a mask if you have to go out when you're not feeling well well guys keith over here is willing to go another million years without wearing a mask so i think we're all saved right if keith can do it for a million years that's a long time keith's just gonna be oh yeah don't need to ask me million years old yeah this guy's dumb galen rub a decorated usa tf distance runner in 2011 won the us nationals 10k while wearing a mask to help with his asthma and the increased pollen count dude with asthma won a national race with a mask on i repeat this guy ran 10 000 meters which is six plus miles in just over 28 minutes with a mask on the same mask you and i are being asked to wear yet you cats can't put one on to go into the store for 10 minutes because it's really hard to breathe in those i have asthma anyone with asmo would tell you how hard it is to breathe in one of those yeah a mask specifically designed for him even if that was the case i'm pretty sure this story has been stretched as well doctors nurses and especially surgeons have worn masks for eight plus hour shifts or even 24 hour surgeries i promise you'll live also i think this is hilarious coming from the kid who unironically wore a black leather trench goat to high school every day for 4 years you of all people should not be complaining about wearing an extra piece of cloth over your face for a while again i just love these ones where they dig into people's past like it's just so funny just use your immune system i dropped food on the floor today and picked it up and ate it what's unacceptable to you is clearly your choice but apparently a lot of people think the immune system works fine damn if only those 137 000 dead folks had just known they could use their immune systems how silly of them i don't know if this will get claimed but i'm going to play this clip from john oliver it's it's pretty good homicides with guns went down suicide with guns also went down zero mass shootings what what did happen australia has still has murders rapes and robberies last i checked unless you can get rid of 100 of crime it's not worth doing at all well put it this way it's illegal to have crack cocaine anywhere in the united states do you think if somebody really wants it they can get their hands on crack cocaine in america so unless we can completely get rid of drugs there's no point in having drug laws at all let me think about that for a minute um i guess effectively it doesn't work you can't argue with philip even his logic is bulletproof well let me let me put you this way there are more drownings in backyards where they have pools they don't have a pool there are no drownings in backyards okay so the us has a very high number of guns therefore there is going to be more chances for somebody to be killed with a gun right right right that's my point guy he changed his mind right at the end it'll probably say that no he doesn't agree but they both agreed this is where americans can travel now just to these few countries huh is there like an imaginary line that thinks they can stop us oh so wait you support illegal immigration now you could go anywhere you want right so why aren't those people allowed to come to america kind of messed up that middle schools would host field trips that were like four thousand dollars to dc or whatever and all the poor kids just couldn't go literally stuff costs money flights are expensive hotels are expensive you really think all that should have just been handed out lol nothing is free i didn't get to do anything like that when i was a kid and now i'm 18 working 40 hours a week to have a good life oh wait this you would be very appreciated here's my kasha everybody's gangster until someone replies with this you question mark trust me your friends mask wearing sheeps and my friends yeah we're lions yeah and your friends kids uh-huh oh god that's that's gonna hit them if they watch disney that might hit them ugh i'm financially not the same as my boyfriend and it's beginning to bother me my family makes triple his family my mum is in a position six ranks higher at the same company as his dad i'm coming here to cal on os tuition he's at the state school getting financial aid we own seven properties his family has two and that's just our families i work and make quite a bit of money so i've been able to buy him upscale gifts but he only bought me a 30 present on valentine's day and i'm still upset about it and not even on time because he had to wait for it to go on sale i have an internship this summer that's pro-rated at his dad's yearly salary he has no internship he's a good guy he's of the right cast he's in an okay major computer science but i resent him for not being able to spoil me i want to have something to show off i don't want to be disappointed with a zales ring down the road yeah you should definitely break up with him so that he can find someone much much better than you i just really hope that's fake because that's just like oh wow you made it all the way to the end you must have liked it a tiny bit then i mean you can click another one or subscribe or like or do something like that i don't know just just do whatever you want thanks

Channel: FakeJake

Views: 786,868

Rating: 4.9164438 out of 5

Keywords: FakeJake, reddit, funny reddit, memes, best posts, top posts, business, stories, story, jobs, degree, pay, spending, shop online, shop near me, store online, online store, store near me, restaurant, restaurant near me

Id: vFbq4RYrMHQ

Length: 14min 59sec (899 seconds)

Published: Mon Jul 20 2020