r/Idontworkherelady They Thought I Worked Here... I Accidentally Murdered Them

welcome to our slash i don't work here lady where o.p accidentally murders someone our next reddit post is from l'oreal carey about 14 years ago i was working at my local walmart i was put in charge of watching the self checkout on a slow day i will admit that back then i was inexperienced with people and lazy but my few months there had taught me a lot about how nasty people can get this nice mom comes rushing to the self checkout with a sick kid in her cart the kid doesn't look well and i hear i'm saying as they come up i don't feel good mom i want to go home the nice mom clearly understands that her kid has become sicker since they came in and is trying to rush to get him home she's trying to soothe him while simultaneously fumbling with groceries and bare essentials like soup and boxes of tissues i know sweetie i'm sorry mommy's going as fast as she can well along comes this rich guy he has on what has to be the most expensive jacket i've ever seen full business gold watch thai pricey shoes perfect haircut fit carrying a lot of coffee everything about him makes me glad this is a self-checkout because my track record with rich folk treating me bad here is almost a hundred percent he begins checking out directly across from the nice mom and the sick kid with his back facing them suddenly the sick kid starts to squirm and look around wildly mom mom mom i need the restroom the nice mom looks up from the checkout and sees that the sick kid is not going to make it through her checkouts she practically flies around the card picks him up and he projectile vomits across the self checkout all over the rich guy's expensive jackets my jaw drops this can't be real as i begin to react i'm watching the rich guy he drops his coffee and is stunned for a moment when something that i wasn't ready for happens he turns around quickly removing his jacket dumps it on the floor and walks quickly over to nice mom and sick kid kneeling because they're now on the ground nice mom is comforting her child with her eyes practically begging for mercy at this point the rich guy says is he okay i woke up with towels already on the radio for clean up and hand him one the rich guy uses the towel to help clean up the nice mom he might have the stomach flu i just needed to pick up some things to take care of him i'm so sorry it's okay let's get him cleaned up the nice mom seems to finally see the man and how he's dressed for the first time and what happened to him oh my god do you work here the rich guy while wiping vomit off of her back while i start cleaning the floor says no ma'am just a dad myself i hate to see a kid not feeling well the nice mom was so embarrassed that she didn't really speak again other than a meager thank you as we finished cleaning up and the rich guy helped her finish checking out personally i helped him put his clearly ruined jacket in a garbage bag to take home and he checked out as well i asked if there was anything else i could do for him and the rich guy politely declined and left the store i'll never forget how that man reacted that day for all of his obvious wealth he was his last priority at that moment even as a victim himself he didn't complain about the mess or that he might get the kid's flu or his ruined jacket nothing and he certainly did more to help than me the actual employee i took this lesson to heart for all future interactions with people and it's made a tremendous difference when i became a father myself thanks for reading our next reddit post is from usual grape i'm neither sure if this is the place to post this nor if i should do so in general but i just can't keep this in anymore i truly hope that i won't get recognized in any way but at this point i find it unlikely enough to be willing to share this story here and if it does come back to bite me then well maybe it should this happened in the early 1990s the relevant historical background to this is that poland hasn't really left the communist block just yet the first free elections happened in 1989 but the process of escaping russian influence took a while and at the time of the story the police weren't necessarily used to doing their job properly one such poorly handled case was the abuse of my next-door neighbor's daughter i'll spare you the details just know that the worst thing that you can imagine happening to a young girl in such a scenario did in fact happened many many times they were horrible horrible people and i hated them with all of my being i can't stress that enough onto the story a couple years later after i'd moved away i was visiting my family and since it was a little early i stopped at a gas station i once worked at to chat with my old pals and wait for the sun to get a little higher we were sitting in a little nook behind the counter and lo and behold who would come in if not the aforementioned neighbors the husband pointed at something and went back to fuel their car the wife approached the counter noticed me and snarked you're back here i guess your studies didn't go that well i said well actually yeah sure whatever how much did he go for and when my colleague begins to answer the wife says i'm asking him i didn't come here to work i'm just visiting stop lying to me you're just ashamed that you failed in life now come and inflate our tires now unlike you we don't have all day to sit and chat i was so pissed i legitimately hated them already but this encounter after so much time of being away from them just completely took me off balance i told my friend it's okay i'll just do it so i went with her i inflated one side correctly i over inflated the other side so much that i thought the tire was going to explode to my face then and there they weren't even paying attention to me the second i was done and before i could even realize what i'd just done they took off they crashed a few kilometers down the road they both died i've never heard of any investigation reaching the police station wow that story took a dark turn fast oh my god what is the story op that's an insane story and i don't think it fits in i don't work here lady it's more like a cross between malicious compliance and nuclear revenge and based on the type of people they were maybe throw in a dash of r slash justice served our next reddit post is from carol smith so i'm a youth worker and i care for young people between 13 and 18 years old who are in out of home care for various reasons but most of the time they've been removed from abusive parents i have a specific client i work with a lot who's verbally aggressive and has a lot of anxiety around school this particular day was our third or fourth day at a new school and she asked me if i could walk her to her classroom because she was feeling anxious this is something i do for a lot of clients to also make sure they're actually going to class it's never been an issue i'd been to this particular school many times with another client so i'm walking her to her class and she's walking really fast ahead of me with her head down when a teacher stops me now i'm a 30 year old woman and i was wearing jeans a black shirt with a biggie smalls face on it and a pair of vans so i can understand that my outfits use younger but i find that if i dress cool i have better success building relationships with the clients as they see me as more of an older sister rather than dressing in my normal clothes and coming across maternal so the teacher says in an incredibly loud condescending voice why aren't you in uniform i tried to quietly say i don't go to this school so that the other students don't hear me because obviously my client doesn't want to broadcast that she's in care and had a carer walker to class but the teacher isn't having any of it she didn't listen to what i was saying at all she starts lecturing me in the most horrible voice literally wagging her finger and saying this school has standards and you're making us look sloppy i'm giving you an out of uniform slip and you'll be getting detention too i'm really annoyed by this point but also in shock because i'm 30. how the hell can she be mistaking me for a school kid i have a forehead wrinkle in the beginnings of crow's feet how is this possible i very firmly say there's no need to speak to me that way i don't go to the school and of course she doesn't let it go she gets louder and says if you don't go to this school you need to leave we don't allow other school children on our property my client who's been standing there getting more and more agitated decides to set her straight and at the top of her lung screams she doesn't go here you don't be grunt she's my carer the teacher turns bright red and every student is looking at us now the teacher mumbles something about visitors needing to sign in i told her i had and we kept walking my client was so embarrassed but her little outburst instantly made her popular with the other students because as she told me later that teacher is absolutely horrible to everyone my client was spoken to by her teacher about appropriate language at school but wasn't punished so not exactly i don't work here lady but more of a i don't go here lady if i know anything about high schoolers then that teacher has permanently earned the new nickname of dopey grunt and down in the comments we have a similar story from i'm a little french press this reminds me of the time i went to my daughter's school to speak to the principal and he told me i needed to stand when he spoke to me because he had mistaken me for a student i was already pissed about why i was there and f you i'm a parent came spewing out of my brooklyn mouth he told me i looked really young to justify his postulating i told him he should make sure he knows who he's talking to effing butthole and then beneath that cloth diaper addict says that's up there with the time my mother made the assistant principal of my high school cry and then when someone asked cloth diaper addicts for their story they wrote this she called me a liar in front of my mom i'm honest to a fault and will carefully parse answers to exactly the question as asked rather than intended my high school had a closed campus for lunch and sucky food i had a car that i drove i left went out and got lunch and came back for no other reason than i wanted to eat something not available on campus as i walked in with my food the assistant principal asked if i was just getting in obviously i was because she had just seen me park so i told her i was she went and checked my attendance then saw that i had been to classes she called me and my mother to the office i guess she thought she had the smoking gun i'd left without school permission and came back she told me i lied to her i told her i most certainly didn't lie to her she literally saw me just arrive as soon as she snapped that's not what i meant and you know it the assistant principal took a breath to let out some vitriol and my mother cut her off and demanded to know exactly what that woman had asked me that was when my mother lit her up the assistant principal's inability to ask the right questions in a direct manner was her own stupidity not my dishonesty the assistant principal just kept harping about the rules my mother shrugged said i had her permission to leave and that was that the angrier the assistant principal got the less f's my mother gave when the assistant principal said that i unequivocally could not leave regardless of my mother's views my mother flew into a rage of her own who did that woman think she was my mother turned to me and said explicitly that i'm forbidden to stay on campus during lunch she was writing me a note to leave every single day and i had better take advantage of it she then turned to the assistant principal and told her that her feelings on the matter are irrelevant her inability to communicate showed that she was stupid and should feel bad etc not a single four letter word was used but my mother's feelings were clear the assistant principal's authority had no power over me period the assistant principal cried my mother stormed out vindicated all because the assistant principal questioned my integrity if she had focused on my rule breaking i would have been the one in trouble in the end that assistant principal would turn and walk away if she saw me in the hallways and literally never said another word beyond stink eye probably because the principal warned her about my mother and has run ins with her over a decade ago from one of my older sisters it really seems like some people become teachers because they want to help the next generation grow into beautiful and well-educated people and it really seems like some people become teachers just because they want to be able to boss around young people our next reddit post is from michelleosaur i wasn't sure where this karen's story belonged but i decided to post it here in honor of its hero who most definitely doesn't work here anymore so for context this story involves me a nice lady a karen a karen's husband and a guy who used to work there we'll call that guy adam but he's actually my hero also i'm obviously a trans guy which didn't help i work at a large hardware stores and appliance associate we wear orange aprons i'll let you figure out where that is now i don't usually work in flooring but the regular flooring guy was on break so after the nice lady asked me to get something down from the overhead 4 i headed over there to help seeing karen and adam standing at the carpet cutting machine but not together i tell them i'll come help them as soon as i'm done with the nice lady after about two minutes i returned to the carpet cutting machine to find karen gone leaving me to talk adam through what would be best for him to get for his project just as i'm getting ready to roll out the carpet that we decided on karen comes stomping back there you are adam says it's alright man take care of her first i'm not in any rush how can i help you ma'am i need 60 feet of astroturp how effing hard is that i start rolling out her carpet you should have just done that to begin with are you stupid or something all of you people are lazy good for nothing r words ma'am there's no reason to talk to him like that he's just doing his job not effing fast enough not like it's any of your business you need to stay out of our conversation look he's just trying to do his job and you're acting like a b word a verbal smackdown ensues until my manager will call her debbie walks over to intervene is there a problem i was just having a conversation with opie and then this guy started being rude you need to handle it ma'am he doesn't work here i don't know what you want me to tell you my manager proceeds to try to talk this woman down while i roll and cut her carpet by the time i had her carpet ready her husband had a ride for the cart to load it up then thinking everything was over my manager walks away and i turned to adam to get him his carpet that's when i realized that karen had been telling her husband what happened the husband storms over to adam and says did you call my wife a b-word i said she was acting like a b-word there's no reason to talk to associates the way she did you need to learn some effing respect you can't talk to customers like that i am a customer which means i can say the things that everyone else is thinking but can't say then the husband tried to fight adam before my manager came back and escorted the couple to the front i came to find out that adam used to work there and loved the opportunity to tell customers everything he'd never been able to when he worked there i've never been so satisfied our next reddit post is from pepperconchobar a few years ago our house phone number was very close to a local bank the only difference was that the last two digits were inverted ours ended with 45 and there's 54. so it was common for us to get wrong numbers for that branch one lazy weekday morning i'd slept in a bit too late then i chilled out scrolling through facebook in my robe and consumed one too many cups of coffee while i procrastinated the laundry the phone rang and i answered it as people do hello this is how you answer the phone hello usually may i ask who's calling this is such and such i'm returning a call from the chase bank and i think that you're very unprofessional and rude i chuckle i'm not a professional i'm a housewife i don't want to hear your excuses i want to speak to your supervisor as i said sir i'm not a professional i'm a housewife and you got the wrong number i think that we need to restart this conversation the old man starts cursing and i keep laughing once again i believe that you got the wrong number sir this isn't a bank this is a private residence i'm in my living room i'm a housewife and not a professional and i hope that you have a really fantastic day i am so sorry thank you for your kindness and your courtesy not a problem sir misunderstandings happen once again i hope that you have a pleasant day you too and thank you it really surprises me how hard it is for people to realize their error once they lock in they can't let it go it's nice that this guy owned up to his mistake but that's still no way to talk to a service worker this guy sounds like a douchebag that was our slash i don't work here lady and if you like this content then check out my podcast where i publish the exact same episodes also hit that subscribe button because i put out new reddit videos every single day

Channel: rSlash

Views: 597,456

Keywords: reddit, r/, rslash, r\, sub, subreddit, best of reddit, reddit top posts, top posts, top posts of all times, funniest posts, funny, comedy, funniest reddit posts, funny reddit posts, funny reddit, fails, cringe, idontworkherelady, i dont work here lady, r/idontworkherelady, idontworkhere, i dont work here

Id: qnun7hXPqWw

Length: 16min 46sec (1006 seconds)

Published: Sun Nov 01 2020