r/AmITheA**hole For Not Giving Sperm to My Parents?

welcome to r slash am i the butthole where two parents want their son's sperm am i the butthole for not wanting to give my late husband sperm to his parents i'm sorry i really tried to think of a less silly title when my husband was diagnosed with cancer we froze his sperm so we could have children by insemination even after chemotherapy his parents were very involved in his treatment and were aware that we were doing this his treatment was unfortunately unsuccessful and he passed away on july 19th his parents asked me if i was considering being inseminated with this sperm and i said no they then asked me if i would consider transferring ownership of the sperm to them so they could use it to have grandkids i assume they're planning on hiring a surrogate for this but i'll admit that i was so surprised and confused that i didn't actually ask my gut reaction was that this was wrong and exploitative and not what my husband would have wanted we froze his sperm because we wanted to raise a family together and freezing his sperm seemed like a better option than adopting or using a sperm donor not because he wanted to give his parents grandkids or just to put his dna out into the world for the sake of it i am also confused about who they expect to raise the kids because they're both in their 60s and the surrogate one of their nieces or nephews my husband had no siblings and i certainly wouldn't feel comfortable doing it it feels like they just want their bloodline to continue without any thought to the practicality of it okay op so legally and morally i think you're totally justified here you guys were married so any sort of joint property that you had including his sperm is now yours to do with as you please if you don't want to give it to his parents then that's your right and i'll definitely say that your in-laws are weird the fact that they're trying to get their son's sperm just like one month after he died is certainly unusual but to be honest i don't really know if it's like butthole behavior maybe it's a little insensitive because they could have waited more but if that's something that they really care about then yeah it's reasonable for them to care about that and i can understand why they would want to talk to you earlier rather than later because they're concerned that that you might like dispose of the sperm which again is you know reasonable so i'm not trying to like defend them necessarily it's just yeah some people really do care about continuing their blood into future generations and there's nothing wrong with having that desire so if that's something they care about then that's something they care about i do wish that your in-laws had waited longer to be a bit more tactful and to giving you space to mourn and i also wish that they hadn't put you in this awkward situation but really i see no buttholes here i have to give everyone zero out of five buttholes across the board okay so down in the comments people are saying that it's extremely insensitive for the in-laws to pressure op like this and i mean you gotta keep in mind that these people lost their one and only child and that's devastating so if they want to carry on their son's legacy by using his sperm to produce a grandkid then i mean yeah it's a little bit weird but it's not butt holy behavior it's not evil or cruel it's not really hurting anyone and again you got to keep in mind that maybe they're concerned that op would destroy the sperm and that would ruin their one and only chance of ever having a grandkid so it sucks that they pressured op so soon after her husband's death but what other choice did they have am i the butthole for expecting my daughter to pay me and my wife back for her uber my daughter who's 16 went out with her friends last week and some people who my daughter doesn't like showed up my daughter called my wife and said that she was uncomfortable and asked my wife to pick her up my wife was in an appointment and i was at work so my wife called her an uber every time me or my wife call my daughter an uber she has to pay us back so when my daughter got home i asked her for the money she asked what i was talking about and said that my wife said that she didn't have to pay us back i asked my wife why she told our daughter that she didn't have to pay us back and she was surprised that i asked she said that she wasn't going to charge our daughter for getting out of a situation where she was uncomfortable we got into an argument about it because uber is not cheap and i don't think my daughter not wanting to be around certain people justifies us having to pay for her uber my wife took our daughter out to eat and won't talk to me so i want to know if i'm the butthole here oh my god op yes like yes emphatically yes a lot of the times when i read these posts and opie's the butthole i try to like tread lightly because i don't want to piss off op because if i piss off op then he won't take my advice but oh my god op are you really this stupid are you this dumb your daughter a 16 year old girl is one of the most vulnerable age groups in on planet earth basically she's old enough to go out on her own and be put in these really awkward dangerous situations but she's still very much a minor so if you're going to make a big deal out of this and make it so that she has to pay you back then what happens if she goes to a party and then she gets drunk or she's not feeling like safe or she's surrounded by all these people who are really giving her bad vibes and she knows that if she calls you and you're like well you gotta do you have money for an uber because otherwise you're on your own sweetheart i mean is she gonna call you asking for help or is she just gonna stay in that awkward situation because she doesn't have money for an uber would you rather save your daughter from a potentially dangerous situation or save uber money because for me personally op i will pay for the uber money every single time to get my daughter out of a dangerous situation because that's what decent people do so yes op i'm getting a little fired up here because geez i don't even know how you can't see that you're not the butthole here like come on it's it's it's a 16 year old girl and she reached out to you and you're basically punishing her for being responsible safe and making the right decision so in the future she's much less likely to make those safe decisions and that's just it's extremely dangerous it's extremely bad parenting opm giving you four out of five buttholes am i the butthole for no longer making toys and furniture for my former sister-in-law after her new husband called them an embarrassment and me cheap for not paying for stuff my brother died before his first born child was born because of this i've had an above average involvement in my nephew's life one thing that i've always done is build my nephew toys and furniture it was a way of providing for my nephew without the awkwardness of handing over cash also between the inheritance and the life insurance my nephew has a trust fund that has about 500 000 pounds in it i should also point out that my brother was never actually married to my sister-in-law now because of my work i've made my nephew a lot of wooden or 3d printed toys and also some simple handmade electronic toys my sister-in-law was always grateful for these toys and my nephew by all accounts loves his custom toys fast forward three years and my former sister-in-law got married i was attending my nephew's third birthday party and i turned up the night before to assemble his presence it was a small climbing and swing set the new husband was a little standoffish but come the day of the party he was telling anyone who listened that i didn't make or pay for the present i just had lackeys at work do it for free this culminated in him calling my presence an embarrassment and given my fancy job i could afford to splash some cash i confronted him and my former sister-in-law and she basically confirmed that while the presents were appreciated she honestly expected more direct support from me after my brother's death my mother stepped in and reminded her that my brother paid for her house and also they regularly take cash out of the trust approximately ten thousand pounds a year after that my mother and i just walked out since then i've continued to see my nephew without incident seven months go by and i learned that my former sister-in-law is pregnant with twins she was wondering if i could make some duplicates of items that i made for my nephew because they needed two sets i scoffed and said that she had balls asking me to make stuff after she was so ungrateful and also i don't owe her unborn kids anything she got upset and explained her prior statements about my handmade gifts and said that she felt they were kind of little things that someone did as a favor not what a family provides that's why she's asking me now as a friend to do her a favor and manufacture duplicates i said no again and her husband shouted that it didn't matter because they would just use the trust to provide for the kids like it's supposed to i said that money was for my nephew and good luck accessing it for that because the trust requires my signature for a payout i wasn't even home before he was calling me to apologize clearly he was unaware that i held the reins to my late brother's money his apology was insincere and i asked to speak to my former sister-in-law where i confirmed again that i would not be manufacturing her anything i said that i'll still be an uncle to my nephew and be impartial when it comes to her accessing my nephew's trust but her husband has burned a lot of goodwill with this am i the butthole for not doing her a favor after all that okay so down in the comments people are calling the sister-in-law extremely entitled and so i'm not exactly sure if i agree with this because based on the story for years and years op and the sister-in-law had a kind of decent relationship and it wasn't until the new husband came into the picture that suddenly there was a problem so i have to wonder how much is this her being upset and how much is like the husband speaking through her now obviously she deserves some butthole score but i kind of want to give her a little bit of like the benefit of the doubt here because she was kind to op for three years and really it wasn't a problem until recently when the husband entered the picture so i think i want to give the sister-in-law let's say 1.5 out of 5 buttholes yeah she's a bit hypocritical and entitled but it sounds like the real villain here is the husband based on your telling of this story op it sounds like he expects to use your dead brother's trust to pay for his kids um excuse me that trust was set up to care for his son so if this guy uses that trust fund to pay for his kids then he's literally stealing money from a three-year-old the fact that this guy wants to rob a three-year-old instead of providing for his own kids like a man is disgusting i'm giving him four out of five buttholes as for uop i think you're 100 completely justified in shutting your sister-in-law down like you're right opie you don't owe her unborn kids anything you are making these toys for your nephew like this is what she doesn't seem to understand you are making these toys for your nephew not for her benefits you know like you're trying to bond and connect with your nephew not make her life easier and i don't know if she really gets that that being said o.p if you want to have a relationship with your nephew that necessitates that you also have a relationship with your sister-in-law so i really hope that you can work things out and go back to your former relationship before the husband got involved i don't know so what do you guys think i have to wonder maybe i went a little bit too easy on the sister-in-law like i feel confident that the husband is a jerk he deserves a big butthole score and op's completely justified i think he deserves 0 out of 5 buttholes as well but does the sister-in-law deserve more than 1.5 out of 5 buttholes maybe maybe let me hear from you down in the comments i'm curious am i the butthole for telling my dad and his stepson to f off i'm a 35 year old guy and my wife nat who's 32 recently had a child when i was young my parents divorced when i was around 13 my dad remarried to his current wife lizzy lizzy had a son maddie who was about three at the time my dad also hires hookers a lot and this one time we were at my party i was a teenager at the time and my mom made him come and also buy me a present guess what he tried to make me do he got me a hooker obviously i didn't do it so he did instead i mostly lived with my mom before i got my own place but i say to my dads enough to have my own room when my dad got married he started to ignore me for his new family pretty much immediately including sometimes not even making me dinner when i was staying at his place his stepson maddie can't do anything wrong in my dad's eyes for example when i introduced my wife nat to my dad's family when we were still dating about five years ago maddie's first move was to tell her that he was available when she eventually got bored of me i was pissed at him but i didn't start a fight because i just wasn't in the mood nat just laughed it off and said that she was into older guys and we left straight after another example i didn't get my driver's license until i was 28 for personal reasons that i won't list here anyways i needed someone to mind my car for a few days because i was going to be off with friends mom wasn't available so i asked my dad i came back a few days later and my car was missing i asked why and my dad said that maddie crashed it so they were paying someone to fix it i freaked out and my dad told me that this was a good thing for maddie because this would make him a better driver when he got his license what he didn't even have his license when i didn't immediately agree with him i was told to get the f out anyway me and nat have a son now a few days ago my dad called me up and called me a bastard because i didn't ask maddie to be my son's godfather neither of them were invited to my wedding or my son's christening i told him that he wasn't even invited to my wedding so why was this the thing that he was pissed about he said he didn't care that he wasn't invited but that maddie was never anything but nice to me and i should apologize he said maddie was with him i told him to put it on speaker i told them both to f off and hung up am i the butthole okay no no no no no no you are not the butthole here this guy drove someone else's car when he didn't even have a license crashed it and then it's your fault for getting upset at that like of course you'd get upset at that who wouldn't get upset at that and also he made a pass at your girlfriend when he was right in front of you what a jerk op your father and your stepbrother sound like two peas in a pod i'm giving them both three out of five buttholes it's just so delusional like if maddie can't even be expected to watch your car safely then why should he be trusted with your child am i the butthole for walking out of my husband's birthday dinner when his sister was complaining about her fertility my husband's parents threw my husband at birthday dinner at their home last saturday during dinner his sister announced that she was pregnant with her sixth child everyone congratulated her and my husband grew quiet he and i have been trying to have a baby for seven years now and only just save the money for an ivf once the commotion about the new member of the family settled my sister-in-law started her usual commentary about how much it sucks to be so fertile and how she feels like she'll just never be able to stop having kids because the pill and contraceptive injection both failed and she's just not a good fit for an iud by the time that she pointed out that she'd been pregnant so often they don't even need to fully passionately hug anymore for her to get knocked up i just couldn't anymore and i walked out my husband followed me and i could see that he was holding back some tears too he apologized for not saying anything but i said that he didn't need to i could tell that he was obviously struggling too by the time we made it home his parents had called to say how sorry they were and how none of this was meant to happen his sister on the other hand called me a killjoy and a drama queen and she told me that it was rude to walk out after all of her parents hard work and for spoiling the celebration of a pregnancy i hung up on her and i wanted to cry because her word stuck in my head since then she and my husband got into a fight because she called me selfish and said that i made the dinner about me instead of them i wish i could feel like she's totally wrong but i worry that she's right am i the butthole okay so there's two scenarios here scenario one is that the sister knows about your fertility problems in which case she was a major butthole in that case i'm giving her three out of five buttholes in the other scenario she had no clue that you were having fertility issues in which case she's still the butthole so okay my wife and i just had a kid if we go to some party and we talk about you know oh we have a kid it was you know it's great being a parent blah blah blah and someone else at the party walks out suddenly and i find out later that the reason why they walked out is because they were having like infertility issues and listening to me talk about being a parent and having a baby was too much for them to bear i would feel so bad like obviously it's not my fault because i didn't know about the problem but i would still feel awful that i you know inadvertently made these people just feel sad about their own situation so i would probably like write them an email or call them up you know depending on how well i knew them and be like hey i'm really sorry about that i didn't mean to didn't mean to bring you down i'm sure there's you know still a chance for you blah blah just try to be encouraging and supportive but instead this sister is going to be like nasty and negative and ridicule for walking out why so even in that scenario she's a butthole she's less of a butthole but she's still a butthole i'm giving her 1.5 out of 5 buttholes in that scenario op you deserve 0 out of 5 buttholes because you handled that situation as best as you could like what would she have preferred that you stay and just openly weep in front of the entire family because that would have ruined the celebration even more no you could tell that you were getting emotional so you just left so you could deal with it privately it's the adult way to handle this problem also i have to add that it's a bit entitled of your sister-in-law to say that the party was about her and her pregnancy when really it should have been about your husband's birthday she's the one who's making the party not about your husband not you that was our slash in my the butthole and if you like this content check out my patreon where i publish extra episodes also hit that subscribe button because i put out new reddit videos every single day

Channel: rSlash

Views: 513,655

Keywords: reddit, r/, rslash, r\, sub, subreddit, best of reddit, reddit top posts, top posts, top posts of all times, funniest posts, funny, comedy, funniest reddit posts, funny reddit posts, funny reddit, fails, cringe, prorevenge, r/prorevenge, prorevenge posts, prorevenge funny, prorevenge fails, pro revenge, funny pro revenge, amitheasshole, r/amitheasshole, amithebutthole, r/amithebutthole, aita, r/aita

Id: Axl1LdHRRI8

Length: 17min 57sec (1077 seconds)

Published: Sun Aug 29 2021