r/Idontworkherelady "I'LL HAVE YOU FIRED AND ARRESTED!"

welcome to our sloshed I don't work here lady where the customer is always wrong I've been author on a book tour I meant a big chain bookstore sitting at a table with a stack of my books in front of me and beside a seven-foot-tall reproduction of my book cover I'm chatting with someone while signing their book and there are three people in line behind them it's my first book so three people in line is huge for me I'm enjoying the heck out of it and I'm working my hardest to make sure everyone is having a great time and they mostly are mostly I start to pick up an impatient vibe from the main at the end of the line he's kinda huffy looking around a lot and keeps trying to make eye contact with me as I'm writing a somewhat lengthy dedication for the person at the front the front person asked if we can take a photo together I say of course because I am so not used to anyone wanting to take a picture with me and I'm totally an attention hog this really sets grumpy man off really he barks I'm trying my best to not be mad at grumpy man because he's in line to buy my book maybe he's had an awful day maybe he's late for dinner maybe his parking meter ran out five minutes ago and he has so many parking tickets at the tOA's car who knows so I asked the other people in line if it's okay for this gentleman to jump ahead since he seems to be pressed for time and everyone is cool with it I motioned for him to come on up he plops a bag down on the signing table pulls out three copies of Geddy Lee's big book of bass and says I need to return these oh oh no I put on my best apologetic smile I'm so sorry for the confusion I say gesturing at my sack of books and the giant sign beside me I'm the author of this book and I'm here to sign copies of it today do I look like I care I need to return these he shouts for sure I get that I say I just don't know how I can help you I don't work here I'm just visiting the store to sign my book I point towards the cash desk about 20 feet away and say I'm sure that the awesome people who work at this store will be happy to help you I stood in this line I need you to help me he snaps I am pretty convinced that he's not listening to me I'm so sorry about that confusion it makes sense there was a line of people you figured it was a line for the cash and you stood in it but it turns out it was a line to get my autograph the good news is that there's no line at the cash I point again towards the actual cash the other people in line are having a great time watching this show and a few people have come creeping over from the coffee shop attached to the bookstore to get a better view cut out this author be s shouts grumpy man and get me your manager I stand up very slowly I pick up a copy of my book from the stack and flip to the about the author page I hold it up beside my face and make the same smirking grin that I'm wearing and the headshot printed in the book this visual-aids seems to have worked because grumpy man grabbed his three copies of Geddy Lee's big book of bass and toddler stomped his way over to the actual cache PS I wrote cut out this author BS and give me your manager below my signature for the people who witnessed this absurd event haha what kind of idiot sees someone take a selfie with a cashier and be like oh man why are these people taking pictures of cashiers and wasting my time how did this not figure this out our next reddit post is from Linux so me and my girlfriend were hanging out in this store that had a bit of everything when she decided to look for some covers for her phone I stayed in a corridor near there looking at the tech stuff when suddenly a lady comes in I was wearing jeans and a red polo I guess she confuse me for an employee even if they had a blue uniform hey you can you tell me where I can get this certain item I look around for a second before looking back at her I don't know I don't know what she interrupts me before I could say the magic word I don't work here and says you brown people are all the same don't know how to treat customers disgusting I couldn't help but make a face as she left I'm about to go find my girlfriend and tell her the story about this crazy lady but before I could reach her this lady comes back and I kid you not she starts spraying those house deodorants in my face blind me serve you right for being lazy and a racial slur I scream help my girlfriend heard me yelling and came and before I could say anything I could hear the lady realized that I didn't in fact work there as my girlfriend calls the police and I guess staff didn't let her leave because when I could see her again after watching my eyes she was crying getting arrested police asked if I'd like to press charges I said yes even if I was an employee there that's no way to treat people treat others as you wish to be treated man what's even her defense for something like this no your honor you see I thought he was an employee so of course that was perfectly justifiable behavior our next reddit post is from manta ray bill guys holy flip I am so excited to share this post because I've been lurking on this sub forever and I never in a million years thought I'd get to write my own post but here we go sorry it's so long paraphrasing slightly because I can't remember the exact words everyone said but my friend who was there helped me write this so it's reasonably accurate so I've been off work for a couple of weeks I've been sick and injured and I'm getting super bored cooped up at home all the time so I decided to go visit my friend let's call him Tim at a hardware slash gardening store that some Australians might know because it's the only frickin hardware store in the country anymore they have pretty distinctive uniforms consisting of blue jeans steel toed boots and a company issued red polo shirt it's just hitting into spring in Australia so I'm pretty happy just wearing chinos and a shirt out now the shirt I wore is technically red but it's like a deep burgundy nothing like the bright red shirt staff wear so I head into the store and wonder around for a bit trying to find Tim I see him with the customer he sees me and says hi sir I'll just finish with this customer and then I'll come help you which is obviously sneaky code for give me a minute and then we can hang out so I hit down the back of the store and start fiddling with some socket sets debating if I should buy one since I've lost my old set and just generally killing time until my friend comes to find me then I hear a sharp ahem from behind me I turn and see this woman maybe mid 50s in a t-shirt shorts and flip-flops looking suspiciously like every Australians favorite mining Gina Rinehart and she's staring right at me thinking she wants something from the rack I'm standing in front of I say oh sorry and step out of the way she just looks at me for a second and then says I need three bags of mulch and I want them taken to my car instinctively I just say I'm sorry and she heaves this enormous sighing goes hey are you deaf or something I said I need three bags of mulch and I want them taken to my car and this is where I realize holy cow she thinks I work here and I swear I must have lit up like an effing Christmas tree because I've always always wanted something like this to happen especially if they're being a rude grunt about it and I can have a chance to give them a taste of their own medicine so I say okay well first of all miss the gardening section is right down the other end of the warehouse so I don't know what help you're expecting to get here her mouth flaps like an angry fish for a second and she comes back with I want you to do your epic job and give me three bags of mulch my mind is racing trying to think of all the sick burns I've seen people using this up until I had a good combination look you can tell a lot about a person by the way they treat this staff when they go shopping for example it's clear from this interaction that you're a raging thunder grunt who thinks she can treat people like slaves furthermore it's company policy not to tolerate who abuse staff members so I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave Gina makes us sound like a horde of angry wasps in a blender and practically hisses at me who the F do you think you are you cannot talk to a customer like that take me to your manager right now you are gone I'm a little busy here so why don't you go find the manager and bring them here Gina stares daggers at me for a few seconds and I honestly think she's gonna try and hit me or something and then she swings around and storms out of the aisle I go back to trying to decide which socket set to get like a minute later my friend finds me in the aisle and is like hey man what's up and I explained what just happened word-for-word and say she's gone to get the manager so you should probably bail so you don't get caught up Tim just goes F know I need to see this I'm staying right here pretty sure Dave's the manager today and he's an effing legend she's gonna get absolutely destroyed a couple minutes later Geena swings around the corner with who I assume is Dave in tow and as she's stalking down the aisle she points at me and says that one that's the one who was rude to me so Dave turns to my friend and is like this customer says you abused her and called her a rude name no not him I don't give a flip about him this one and points to me and Dave just stops and looks at me for like a solid five seconds visible confusion on his face and just says he doesn't work here be s he's wearing the uniform and me Dave and Tim just look at each other them in their blue jeans and bright red shirts me and my tan chinos and dark burgundy top and Gina glowers at us I assure you he doesn't work here then why is he in uniform I say there's a very simple test you can do for colorblindness your optometrist should have you I can see fine are you going to let him talk to me like that I mean he's not staff I can't really tell him what to do this is ridiculous you're just trying to cover for him so you don't have to do any paperwork ma'am really I'm sorry that he was rude to you but he's not staff meanwhile Tim has backed off because he's getting a hernia trying not to laugh Gina goes ballistic and lumbers over to him shoving and screeching AB you don't laugh at me I'll get you all fired I'm going to call your head office and tell them about the disgraceful treatment I've received go ahead mate be sure to tell them how you physically assaulted one of my staff members but please do it from outside the store my buddy Tim says yeah it's company policy not to tolerate to abuse staff so we're gonna have to ask you to leave and Gina if possible goes even redder literally stamps her foot and screams turns around and stomps away silence then then Dave just goes what the f was that pretty sure Tim genuinely pissed himself laughing I explained to Dave about my previous interactions with Jeana and that I absolutely did not provoke her but she was being a total grunt so she deserved it anyway Dave is a little worried that she might actually call hit office but then again he was nothing but civil to her and Tim didn't even really interact with her besides calling her a ticket which Dave decided to let slide because she was in fact a so really her only complaint is that someone she thought was staff was rude to her I apologized to Dave for any inconvenience this might cause him he asked me not to wear a shirt that's even remotely red to the store anymore and the one in a million chances happened again I agreed Tim used to stab discount card to give me a discount when I bought my socket said everyone went home happy except Jeana at that grunt our next reddit post is from Bo Godwin I was cleaning some kiln shelves off in a ceramic studio during open lab hours a student and her mother came into the kiln yard and I overheard the students say oh my pieces didn't get fired not my business I'm just a student and I'm wrapping up my last personal firing of the semester a few seconds later there's an aggressive almost painful tapping on my shoulder why didn't her work get fired it was supposed to be ready to take home today the student says mom that's not my teacher this goes unheard or ignored by the mother sorry I'm just a student here I don't fire others work we need her work done by Friday she's graduating and relieving this state you're so selfish for not putting her stuff in that kiln I saw how much room you have in there the student looks absolutely mortified behind her mom I explained that I was firing porcelain and that her daughter's work was low fire clay and wood have melted in the kiln I also state that I'm not allowed to fire other students pieces unless given the go-ahead by the professor that is unacceptable get off your fat butt and fire her work I paid $1,500 which is BS by the way through this class Angie's going to take home everything she I go back into the studio the mom following me into the upper division area which is off-limits to most people kid back here I ignore her just trying to wrap up a couple bowls so I can put them in my bag she then notices all the work in the advanced space and starts touching it why aren't the intro classes given projects like this for how much the course is the content should be better the student says mom we need to learn the basics first I'm now blocked from exiting the space by a very angry woman who's got her hand on a sculpture my classmate has been working on all semester she keeps telling me I am lazy and that firing takes no effort because the kilns are self-regulating our kilns are gas and need constant monitoring over several hours finally my saving grace arrives our shop manager who's kind of a butthole with a short fuse but who I appreciate deeply for all he does appears behind her I can see the student pale a little bit knowing what's coming what the f are you doing in the advanced space the mom starts going off again my lab manager looks calmly at me and tells me I can go he clears the way and I take my chance and just as I'm leaving the studio I hear him start yelling justice at last but my god I think this story has shown us why the lab manager has become a bit of a Buttle with a short fuse I mean can you blame them our next reddit post is from ablest mage I am a DST vendor slash pull up which is a person who stalks something in the store for a specific brand but isn't employed by the store and typically has multiple stores to visit and typically a distinctly different uniform if any uniform at all I get easily 5 to 10 I don't work here lady incidents per day and have easily a dozen stories of this nature that are real special so I'll pick possibly my favorite what am i route stops is a Walmart which I also shop at so I know where things are generally this already irate lady storms over to me clearly not noticing that my clothes do not match an employee's and only seeing that I'm putting things on the shelf she demands I tell her where the pretzels are because no one else will help her well I don't work here but I do shop here and I know there are several places for them what kind are you looking for just tell me where the pretzels are is that not clear enough do you want plain ones do you want chocolate-covered ones do you want a flavored the McDonald's upfront sells the big doughy pretzels just tell me where the pretzels are well the chocolate-covered ones are over by the candy on the other side of the store that way over that way the customer service here is hideous except I don't work here so your experience with me doesn't count she storms off some time later she comes back with a manager pointing at me for not helping her the manager looks at me looks at the lady looks at me looks at the lady the manager says he doesn't work for us ma'am people who work here wear a blue vest what is it you're wanting to find just tell me where the pretzels are well we have multiple places do you want the hot and fluffy kinda chocolate-covered the plain salted kinds she finally just leaves a store manager and I book just shrug and resume regular tasks honestly this story sounds like something you'd see out of a sitcom that was our / I don't work here lady and if you liked this video then please let me know by hitting that like button because it really helps my channel grow

Channel: rSlash

Views: 1,238,034

Keywords: reddit, r/, rslash, r\, sub, subreddit, best of reddit, reddit top posts, top posts, top posts of all times, funniest posts, funny, comedy, funniest reddit posts, funny reddit posts, funny reddit, fails, cringe, idontworkherelady, i dont work here lady, r/idontworkherelady, idontworkhere, i dont work here

Id: yrjWjlYkfLc

Length: 16min 44sec (1004 seconds)

Published: Mon Dec 30 2019