Ricky Gervais opening monologue + Johnny Depp golden globes 2012

oh so where was I [Applause] um nervous don't be this isn't about you right hello I'm Ricky ja and welcome to the 69th annual Golden Globe Awards live from The Beverly Hilton Hotel in Los Angeles voted for by the Hollywood Foreign Press Association tonight you get Britain's biggest comedian hosting the world's second biggest award show on America's third biggest network soorry is it it's Fourth it's Fourth for any of you who don't know the Golden Globes are just like the Oscars but without all that esteem the Golden Globes are to the Oscars what Kim Kardashian is to Kate Middleton basically what bit louder bit trashier bit drunker and more easily bought um allegedly nothing's been proved but who needs the Oscars not me and not Eddie Murphy he walked out on them he said no no and good for him but when the man who said yes to Norbit says no to you you know you're in trouble I love Eddie Mur he loves dressing up doesn't he um versatile he's versatile no he is bit of trivia for you actually Eddie Murphy and Adam Sandler between them played all the parts in the movie The Help isn't that brilliant they were brilliant I can't believe they're not here or maybe they are they're Masters of Disguise they could be now the Hollywood Foreign Press have warned me that if I inso any of you or any of them or offend any viewers or cause any controversy whatsoever they'll definitely invite me back next year as well they actually gave me a list of rules I'm going to ignore them but I thought it'd be good to read them out okay this is real okay no profanity that's fine I've got a huge vocabulary no nudity see that's a shame cuz I've got a huge vocabulary um but a tiny penis no it's true doesn't matter I don't care it works don't worry about it it's fine it's fine I don't I don't no smut or innuendo and I'm not to liable anyone and I mustn't mention Mal Gibson this year uh not his private life his politics is recent films and especially not jod Foster's Beaver um I haven't seen it myself um I've spoken to a lot of guys here they haven't seen it either but that doesn't mean it's not any good sorry um I don't care um it's been an amazing year in Show Business it's not all been good news what's with all the divorces what's going on I mean Arnold and Maria JLo and Mark Anthony ashon and Demi Kim Kardashian and some guy know one I never remember he wasn't he wasn't around Long 72 days a marriage that lasted 72 days I've sat through longer James Cameron acceptance speeches than that other celebrity scandal Justin Bieber nearly had to take a paternity test what a waste of a test that would have been no he's not the father the only way that he could have impregnated a girl was if he'd borrowed one of Martha Stewart's old turkey basters open wide um it's been a a big year for women in film bridesmaid one of my favorite comedies of the year yeah the girls finally proed that they can be as runchy as the men farting burping cursing performing wild sex acts even pooping in the sink I I actually heard for a search the car spent the weekend with Dame Helen mirin she's Dreadful honestly you don't you don't see a lot of it cuz she's got good PR but she's off the rails uh but the Golden Gloves aren't just about movies it also celebrates the best in TV as well new shows like the amazing Homeland which is just it's amazing and and returning shows like Boardwalk Empire um I love that show it's great um it's for those who don't know it's about a load of immigrants who came to America about 100 years ago and they got involved in bribery and Corruption and they worked their way up into High Society but enough about the Hollywood Foreign Press I'm joking I love them and they're good sports from inviting me back and what I didn't know they do an awful lot for charity and they nonprofit organization just like NBC so thank should we get on with it this time last year our first presenter was the biggest movie star on the planet but I insulted his film The Tourist causing his career to plummet so far that he was forced to work with me on my new show life too short which Premier is an HBO on on February the 19th please welcome the man who will wear literally anything Timberon tells him to Johnny Depp just uh you go just for I want to ask you a question it's real you can have some just checking yeah um and be honest what are you on right drugs I'm joking no that's not the question and we all know the answer um have you ready I guess so have you seen the tourist yet uh uh no oh boy he's fun all right a young orphan named

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Views: 3,306,393

Keywords: RickyGervais, Ricky, Gervais, Golden, Globe, 69, johnny, depp

Id: 4pasrmkbYwY

Length: 7min 3sec (423 seconds)

Published: Tue Jan 17 2012