r/Facepalm · OMG NO

cardi B said I do feel like if I go back to school and focus up I can be part of Congress I dead but have so much ideas that make sense I just need a couple of years of school and I can shake the table I wonder how P takes yeah yes I draw I pray she's a congresswoman one day hey everyone how's it going welcome back to easy peasy I'm Cougar the curly haired two different-colored I'd freak whose parents wanted him to be an old lady apparently and today we're gonna be diving into our slash facepalm that wasn't me slap myself crossface get it facepalm alright let's get to it why the buck is there zero candle it's not like you could turn zero years old dumb bunny laughing emoji laughing emoji well real quick you can turn ten but I guess you didn't learn how to count that high cuz he went to public school oh my god she's about to hit 1 billion followers what the buck my question is why isn't she following anybody I mean come on man I put out some solid content but up buh-buh-buh order three ways personally I'd order a three way from Wendy's before McDonald's because they have the fresh meat son brought a 5g phone into my house how can I get a court order that forces him not to use it or you know just kick him out like my parents did to me Google rewards you've made the five billion search congratulations you were today's lucky user just give me your social security and your credit card number and you can claim your prize yep totally gonna do it in 1847 Robert Lynn steam performed an amputation in 25 seconds operating so quickly that he accidentally amputated his assistants finger as well both patient and assistant later died of sepsis and a spectator reportedly died of shock resulting in the only known surgical procedure with a 300% mortality rate congratulations mr. Robert Lynn's then you own a record own a record I can't speak today was Abe Lincoln real as someone who went to public school I can tell you for sure no he's not real and my question is how many photos of Lincoln exist why do you need to know that interesting that act blue raised an average donation of $38 and thirty-eight cents this would imply people are donating in uneven numbers including pennies which would be odd why why would that be odd or it would indicate untraceable foreign donations and an exchange rate translation which would be illegal I don't know if this is legal or not but why can't people donate pennies I do it all the time Adam and Eve were straight white males not Chinese eighty it's you've was a straight male huh yes oh okay looks like I've been reading that book wrong my whole life why office air conditioning is sexist all right then a strange creature that tastes like almonds has been dug up in Russia why the [ __ ] would you taste it because you're in Mother Russia you'll dig something up you'll taste it but they told tastes old grenade taste bones they give them a good licking when I say Asia what country comes in mind girl Europe anybody no econo octopus this is founded in cayenne Australia I don't know mate but that thing looks really poisonous and based on the upvotes you're probably gonna die cough cough sniffle sniffle library books rearranged in size order by cleaner dude I hope this guy doesn't get fired he was just trying to do a good job and probably thought this was a good idea don't fire him library well this marathon runner ran boston stroke in her fitness app if I have to read stroke one more time I'm probably gonna have a stroke myself random woman makes song in Portuguese Freddie dread hippity hoppity the song is my property this is Brazilian you do realize that Brazilian isn't a language right they speak Portuguese in Brazil all right then that right there is perfect placement of that bridge don't want to get it wet near the water at all what weighs more a gallon of water or a gallon of butane the water butane is lighter fluid but I'm sure hey buddy there's a there's a little tab there that's meant for opening the can you don't need this yeah this is inaccurate some of us learn plants breathe in co2 you go carbon neutral and you kill plant life LOL i'd know that ello is is an ironic but i god I hope it is should cardi be face consequences for drugging and robbing men yes yes she should just like a man should don't [ __ ] with me buddy it's sad that I can do this voice how can I help tell me a joke what do cats eat for breakfast I don't know me neither woah but where are you from though Oh chilly I mean where do you live Chile it's not even funny what's your problem I'm from Chile that's my problem I'm always told a Chinese thief snatched a woman's phone and ran into a nearby building to escape the building turned out to be a police station move it buddy if I want banana bread I don't really want a chocolate taste with it too bad I didn't realize that before I spent the time too make this bread we know what maybe you should've read it before you made the banana bread colorblind quiz are you apparently no and yes at the same time ah yes good at color and in those lines aren't you buddy my favorite pastime staring at his black screen and then this guy's just staring at the one girl what are you doing with your life buddy get out of here the truth is not conspiracy there's literally a curve in this pic yep this picture explains itself I'm eating this Russian chocolate and it made a rallying noise when I shook it and there's a horse magnet aside Russian kinder surprise that looks like it's made of coal it tastes like coal you ate a vase honestly at this point meeting a small vase is the least of my problems in Russia sometimes when their horse dies they cremate it and make a vase out of the ashes thus the cold taste in picture inside he ate a dead horses ashes and mistook it for chocolate I guess you could say he was so hungry he could eat a horse yep cuz he did toilet only for disabled elderly pregnant children finally what does this dude look like Oliver tree okay here's my question did the plane hit the van or the van hit the plane I was born in the wrong century take me back please the century doesn't dictate what you wear dude ding-dong yes Disney is truly taking over the world now woman who lost limbs after dog licked still loves her and you're about to lose your face sweetheart there's just so much wrong with this photo so much wrong spread anarchy don't tell me what to do you're not my real wall graffiti dad form a sentence in the past continuous by moving the puzzle this this one hurts my brain this one really hurts my brain woman takes photo of duck turns out it's actually a black dildo ah yes the majestic Mallard dildo hi good morning please don't drink bleach a disinfectant of any type currently have three and IDI that drank the Trump kool-aid overnight sevilla esophagus lung damage please say that you are joking sorry I'm not people a stupid gut doctor I beg Americans to throw out this vegetable now what like an avocado with a egg on it or something I don't know I want my first started to be a girl I want you to get off the internet ball doesn't hold water but a flat ball does that's why earth is flat the kids blame the footprints on the dog I mean there is one dog footprint in all fairness any time someone sees a four-night PFP people are like bro you still play for tonight you're Jay you're a virgin etc can I not enjoy playing game without getting all this hate imagine judging people by the game they play imagine I know so immature did you just comment on your own comment from an alternate account that has the same PFP mad lad for two is is still 10 it's actually only 8 but wait wait let's do the math here 42 4 times 2 is 8 so that's 8 and 42 plus 66 is a hundred and eight therefore it is doing it I don't know I'm conspiracy theorist when flowers and chocolate just won't fully convey how you feel about her [ __ ] bid you fine bring that monkey over here let me slap hey guess what sad face what my goldfish drowns a crying face oh I'm sorry I never even knew you had a goldfish sad face yeah it's sad wait goldfish can't drown I'm watching you pal how old were you when you found out goofy was actually a cow and not a dog snitch I was sad eight years old but childhood is ruined why is Gweneth Paltrow selling a candle that smells like her vagina I don't know do you think it smells like pepper or perhaps pots perhaps pepper pots Guinness Book of Records is racist for this behavior it's a fact you idiot Wow totally useless app as far as I'm concerned the main reason to have is to play the games not merely talk about him app really should be called steam community or steam friends oh and you can use you have to buy more games that you guessed it you can't play natively on your device better I'm just using a computer buck buck no buck I'm dead buck how do you delete crap on Gmail I said this to my teacher ah buck and hate kids I actually saw this movie it's called delgo in theaters as a kid and it's terrifying as terrifying as this situation rip buddy during his attempted heist this thief fell over a drinks display and then could not open the door to escape because he was pushing it instead of pulling it the lady had to come over and help him that's more embarrassing than getting arrested never understood how they got the ice in the bottle I know it's called freezing you yes by the white one don't buy the black one got it if your mind goes directly to race you're the problem so you're the problem then aunty lockdown protests leader tested positive for coronavirus blue that's the face she's making look goo yep yep that's a that's a decent excuse right there North Korean dictator Kim jong-un rumored to be dead brain dead or just fine can you please make up your mind don't call me Karen you've just added fuel to the flame oh no no no no this is not okay next next next I can't believe him dad WTF I feel so bad for kids and the other Kardashians apparently you're an idiot and I feel bad for your parents can't believe Leonardo DiCaprio yelled I'm on the top of the world from the Titanic a ship that was at sea at sea level the scientifically lowest attitude in the world he was nowhere near the top he was literally at the bottom what a stupid idiot the real R / facepalm is when you realize he actually said I'm the king of the world my girlfriend is currently crying because she thought the $70 she wanted to spend on adopting a koala bear from the Australian bushfires was actually going to physically get her a koala bear like they would just FedEx that crap to us and not just her become a sponsor I'd be sad too if I was this dumb lifeguard fired for saving a man's life yup fits these days we hate math say four and ten a majority of Americans such a massive facepalm a statue had to be made marijuana what will your mother say when she flies your corpse hey yo pass that bag dude I want some Meghan closes a car door my god she's the people's champion melodica nothing else matters apparently neither did the spelling the worst part about this entire one would have to be the Photoshop someone laughing at them it's literally Elon Musk you don't know who that is lol Trisha no one could take you serious but that's fine don't know who that is because I'm not a gamer nerd buck minecraft Trisha oh you're so rich you probably own at us and you don't even know who made them you just leave the Internet Mojang needs to add vampires moaning please add in vampires like vampire what I don't understand hello my brothers and sisters in Christ will you believe in NASA or the Holy Bible conspiracy theorists burned 5g towers in Europe claiming link the virus because that is how technology works does not work at all I tried shaving my fat ginger friend's neck beard and it didn't even work fix your app what app was he town loading ninja calls out for night and it's brain dead players it hurt itself in his confusion ninja Mon fainted a reporter went on-air we're shooting dude this guy's a legend I love this man do not use any of these products to make hand sanitizer girl goes viral as she gets attacked by an octopus while trying to eat it alive well I guess you could say mr. octopus tried to eat her alive back hey buddy real brave of you to insult our military real brave of your military to invade my country and given our unborn population a long history of birth defects and collateral damage that harmed our economy and a quality of life for decades source Vietnam War oh that I don't count that since we lost that one how do you spell orange orange know that the fruit how do you spell the color o ra ng e that's the fruit they're the exact same no they're not look it up you idiot ah yes more wonderful articles about the cough cough sniffle sniffle moving on phone at a service give us a call Pacific Bell yep sure okay this dude this isn't a facepalm this is just like this guy's winning he's winning right now penicillin was discovered by true-false the worst crime was committed using planes so should we ban those two I'm not advocating for a ban on all guns I'm advocating for strict regulations and guess which mode of transportation is the most highly regulated planes iPhone topic how the Playstore out malware on I bet this is just Apple trying to sabotage Android why just why whose idea was this don't usually tweet right but I've just come home to my mom crying her eyes out asking if I do missile crest because she found prawn cracker crumbs in a bag on my bedside table I don't know what prawn side crack prawn crackers are but you know doesn't really look like a mess toll crest I would rather push my kids in front of a bus then allow them to video games feminists bake sale for equality 75 cents for women $1.00 for men yep that's equal pls surest mix of Enders imagine getting one chance to tell local paper how you met your partner and this happens I do not talk about my charity relief work in public it is between me and my Creator well you're either a liar or Twitter is your Creator pick one self-described mug dealer calls 911 one report stolen mugs this is why you steal from criminals they're the stupid and call the cops go to jail or they don't report it stolen because you know it's mugs richard has no idea his african-american looking son may have been fathered by another congratulations my brother is joining the Royal Navy thank you what state the Royal Navy is Britain's naval force yeah but still dawg what state Sabrina the Teenage Witch hired this balding man to play a high school student yo whoever the casting director is they belong in mad let's read it sacrifice the weak reopen day 20 of quarantine me and the boys still having fun this is not social distancing unless you all live together which I doubt well since they're all the same person photoshopped I guess you could say they do live together here's the schedule hey I think you got the wrong number then what is your number because I have blankety blank blank blank blank this is my number okay then why did you say I have the wrong number because I'm not the person you're trying to text how the hell did I lose so much hair lmao this forever III throw you missed it falls out well dangler Bron you did yourself dirty don't worry our users will notify us if there's a problem I'll gift the craps falling off yeah that's about right oh no no no no those poor eggs would you rather be smelly but rich or nice smelling but poor I personally would rather be nice smelling but poor because that's what I am right now and I only leave myself I took a pic of my son getting an award with his teacher that right there is a good picture of your son look at that reopen Pennsylvania give me liberty or give me death we are the peep oh my god all right real quick says someone who lives in Pennsylvania it's called pencil talkie first of all and second of all go back to our crappy public schools I'm fighting off cough coughs never simple by drinking sperm smoothies No I pay for strippers let the strippers go back to work you two legends saviors of the industry oh I've seen this and it hurts my brain every time so I'm not gonna comment on a tennis racket the dick is in New York Jets well good for you New York Jets I wish I could get some some time thick is a slur I know no it's not anybody can be thick heck I'm a white dude I'm thick my friend she's thick and she's Hispanic it doesn't work like that Steve mistakenly sucks ass too instead of the fuel tank sucks the sewage all right then tonight at eight twenty in twenty seconds in military time it will be 20 20 20 20 20 that only happens once in history ah yes this is super good for the environment what does it mean when reporters report on reportedly like is this real or no yes it's real unlike your ability to read and/or education we already do this no need to enforce it there is always that odd guy who stands next to you when all the others are empty how do i unblock a website without a VPN here are 12 useful methods one is a VPN video games are childish period anyone who wasted time why are you complaining on the internet about video games it's 2020 just stop Mary ten years and never had mechs yeah you know one of them is cheating on the other first thing he's using underwears mask second thing you know this dude about to start a soundcloud rap career called little nugs the direction of a story can be determined by watching which way the clouds are moving Wow who could have ever guessed learn something new every day wired.com you need to make up your mind it's not being bipolar get a 51 degrees fahrenheit negative 46 degrees celsius is a piece of cake in your skull a set of russia google says 46 degrees is 1 and 14 degrees Fahrenheit that would make negative I know no just stop just stop find the yellow object in the picture okay it's gray it's all grey you don't matter worry you worry don't matter you matter don't worry you don't worry matter also many ways to read this what if zelda was a girl I'm actually Zelda is the girl Linc is the guy with the thorn I'm the saying you're stupid everyone thank you so much for watching this video of easy peasy I've been cougar you're a freaking idiot narrator feel free to like comment subscribe and check the other videos on the channel trust me you'll have a good time because I'm not in him yet

Channel: EzPz

Views: 455,550

Rating: 4.911727 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, reddit top posts, reddit best posts, reddit top posts of all time, top posts of all time, top posts, best posts, posts, reddit posts, reddit funny, r/, subreddit, top all time, reddit true stories, r/facepalm, r/facepalm top posts, r/facepalm best posts, face palm, r/facepalm ezpz, emkay, ezpz, ez pz

Id: VH_Ho0Nu2s0

Length: 17min 48sec (1068 seconds)

Published: Sat Jun 06 2020