Reviewing Terrible Minecraft Servers

there are two good minecraft servers only two hypixel and mineplex that mineplex part's a joke they [ __ ] suck the remaining minecraft servers fall somewhere on the scale of dog [ __ ] to dog [ __ ] and today i'm going to be playing on some of them and just relentlessly bullying every single aspect of them it's gonna be great now the holy grail so to speak of [ __ ] minecraft servers is this website right here minecraft server list browse between thousands of servers they're all so great alright you start with these these are decent but no we don't want the decent ones we want the real bottom of the barrel servers much like when you're searching on google you never want to go past the first page so that's exactly what we're gonna do yes let's install an extension i like this server's description purple prison has been around since 2014. we have been awarded best prison server in minecraft for several years in a row and youtubers such as pewdiepie and it just stops what does that mean and youtubers such as pew okay cool okay here we go land of gods this looks promising you know what actually i'm gonna have to take that back mojing is giving me a warning that i might be exposed to unmoderated chat messages i couldn't expose myself to that i'm a christian you see this game i've really always admired the way the fish die i'm a good man i want a bunch of those fish dying all at once i can't be associated with this i kind of wish i could see them better the ash from the dead fish is stopping me from watching the living fish die okay anyways a whopping total of three players online there's not much to make fun of here other than the fact that literally no one is here let's get a job slash jobs browse oh wow i'll be a fisherman if only were that easy to get a job in real life i wouldn't know i'm a youtuber okay i'm a fisherman now i don't know what that does am i stuck here how do i leave hello there's just a skeleton with a question mark over it none of this makes sense guys please let me out of the pit i know i've been bad but come on i need to make content here am i really just stuck here okay i escaped telling me to do slash wild to begin my journey but when i type slash wild it just teleports me back here is this is this my journey and it's giving me a command timeout maybe this portal nope funny thing about this portal is that it's not a portal and it's literally just water oh okay no now i'm here i am trying to find something to hate on but i can't it's just survival minecraft but slightly worse and you have to worry about the world just being deleted i took damage by falling and apparently my dodge rank has been unlocked this makes me sad let's see if they have some ridiculously overpowered kits all right we have claim wait a minute the classic slave kit uh i don't know about this okay the rest of them aren't as bad i'm gonna go for slave okay i'm leaving this server good bye we are off to a great start kitty craft sure just judging by the name alone this is not gonna be a good experience hub under construction please follow these signs for now okay pretty ratchet it's just me and v blaze oh hey there you're in a hurry okay there's so much stuff on my screen the scoreboard takes up like a third of it there's text everywhere the amount of server chat is absurd this guy said hi to me next up is crowprison.net the concept of a prison server has always been a little bit foreign to me it's like manual labor but no one's forcing you to do it everyone's saying welcome again okay the amount of obnoxious ranks that these people have three squiggly lines snowflake z helper logic senpai why this guy's elder hacker joe are hacks aloud we'll see i'm getting mixed answers here give me mod now just speed running getting banned i work for mojang first of all who in the [ __ ] do you think you are i like this guy i don't want your book take it back and never speak to me or my son ever again joe sent me ten dollars this is an interesting spawn the owner of the server is so pretentious that they've just laid their skin out on the floor right where you spawn amazing they have a store i shouldn't be surprised by crow prison.net 70 for the highest rank you get 40 billion of their useless in-game currency a tag by your name this is quite the deal you guys ready for the exciting gameplay that is prison servers look watch this you mine i wish i were joking this is it you just sit here and you [ __ ] mine it's like being a corporate slave in real life but again no one's forcing you to do this why would you spend your time like this i actually used to play on these servers i don't know why what's the point here i do not fully understand coffee yt what you up to nice none of the blocks are going into my inventory and my money isn't going up so all right i'm leaving soon i might as well take this opportunity and get some free promo guys guys guys please subscribe to me i'm new to youtube it would really help part part balls guys please i'll give you sexual favors subscribe to bobby drop a like they're telling me to calm down last chance i love it when people with the helper roll just have a total power trip last chance please calm down man want to address this guy directly but i really don't know what his name is here is it logic is it senpai is it p11 who knows i'm gonna keep going until they ban me i don't care how long it takes youtube.com okay next server grand theft minecraft worth a shot how is this even gonna work you know i'm struggling to see the appeal here is this server's demographic just children whose parents won't let them play actual gta are there cars and stuff or is it just minecraft that says it's gta why is this text so big oh god something's happening giving me a tutorial that i am going to completely skip through okay hey you know what a for effort funny thing about this is that it's not actually letting me move whatsoever i am going to have to spend the entirety of my time playing in this one block is this the gta experience i paid good money for this i didn't but still oh uh oh i can move now oh it won't let me kill myself here hold on suicide speed run all right now i'll try for about five minutes to actually play the game and then i'm gonna get bored and go to the next server you know that that's how i operate the cars i can drive there aren't this isn't really gta i've got guns now i just need to find someone to kill i also have sushi for some reason don't question it baseball bat you know what i like these a lot more than the minecraft default weapons that just looks a lot more violent than a sword now why would i want to use a stun gun when i have a lethal weapon in what scenario am i ever going to oh i found someone this game sucks now that was fun i just discovered that you can sort by new servers this is going to be a little mean since these are all just going to be children making minecraft servers but you know anything's fair game that is probably just this kid's home ip address so i'm going to blur that out just because you know i have some level of respect not a lot but enough to not actually put anyone in serious danger sometimes all right let's see how this is let me guess the owner's just gonna have a power trip on me oh yep wow crazy crazy i'm having a splendid time this guy just hacking or is he the owner wow fun game i'm really glad i logged on for some minecraft yeah yes you are superior good job good job all right what what's the purpose of this server it's just a world that he's downloaded this is the whole thing what am i supposed to do here guess i can kill this guy murder always makes me feel a little better y'all want to see the least intelligent chat string of your life i'm going to report you for hacking wall k you hacker 2 but k no i told you i'm using ender pearls at least i usually only use mine for alts but hacker v hacker and that's not possible lmao i'm not dumb i doubt that there's nothing to do here what's the point do i just get killed over and over again top frag network one player online of all of the blocks they could have chosen as a portal frame they chose [ __ ] pumpkins why in what world it's giving me three world options i guess i'll just try them all until i find the one other player nope not here you can see here yes hello oh no too much caps lock guys can't have people yelling in the minecraft chat might scar them for life jesus christ he spelled hello wrong how are you i'm gonna play nice for now i'm all right you i am doing quite splendidly good sir [ __ ] sorry tarats that is not how you spell tourette's that's fine where you at holmes was good slime i'm very lonely i want to find this one other guy for a lot of these servers there's not much for me to hate on except for the obvious which is why would you play on the server what are the upsides here it's just normal survival minecraft but everything's probably already mined there's lag and the off chance that the server owner will log on and have a power trip on you alright he's far away so i'm not getting any content here on to the next server sleepy bird another kid just hosting with his home ip address fun fact i did that once i hosted a minecraft server from my pc and used my ip as the ip of course i got [ __ ] ddos but i was able to contact the internet provider of the guy who ddossed me and i got him completely banned from having access to the internet in his area so you know just the same [ __ ] it's a defiled minecraft survival world with like four people playing on it just gonna jump in this cobweb and [ __ ] cry who plays on these why why would you subject yourself to this you know okay yeah it's actually easier for me to just leave the server and find a new one than mine that cobweb now this server is advertised as being family friendly which should really just be a perfect fit for me i mean you all know me i like to keep my videos nice and positivity filled free of any curse words or violence i'm a family youtuber i like to teach good morals respect they're gonna be like a giant rules thing no stop so i don't need all this isn't this a children's server no kid is gonna want to read this much if they wanted to they would not be playing minecraft no swearing no griefing no stealing communist russia no hacks no advertising alright i'm on a mission to break as many of these rules as possible this is the mpc that lets me enter the rest of the world he says before i can let you pass i have to ask you a few questions to make sure you've read the tutorial [ __ ] you man this is the first server i've had to pass a test to get into please let me play the game i just want to break rules come on yes oh thank god okay i need to find something to steal grief i need to find a way to get past the chat filter and curse i need to advertise my channel and i need to install a hacked client shouldn't be too hard oh god they're on to me okay i gotta play it cool no i'm fake buffy i don't think he's buying it i just gotta laugh it off don't even worry about it man god [ __ ] damn it can i get a screenshot i love being rude to children it fills me with joy he tracked me down no i don't i don't want a screenshot with you stop leave me alone no this man is harassing me instead of using commands to get away from spawn like smart people this server has adopted a minecart system which is cool and all except for the fact that i can run faster than this mine cart goes so it doesn't make any [ __ ] sense i'll play along with it though oh come back can you not get in a moving minecart what's happening slow down why are you doing this to me i haven't even wronged you yet why stop destroying your own vehicles to say why one good reason that would be disabled okay it stopped for me i keep getting recognized and just i keep denying deny deny deny that's my conflict strategy again we teach good life lessons on this channel i swear to god this game just doesn't want me entering vehicles what's happening is it something i did did i say something that offended it oh my god so i can't destroy it and i can't enter it i'm going through a lot of hassle here just to break five rules it's gonna be worth it though it'll be slightly funny holy i can't buy another one i'm going to kill myself in the game not real life maybe real life too who knows this is gonna be harder than i thought because they have build protection so i can't really grief oh i take that back you know while the server's lagging and spawn protection is broken i might as well take care of the steel one too okay yes let me just defile this farm okay that is two rules broken we're making fast progress just wanted to remind you that we have a no griefing policy oh uh that you see admin that that wasn't me that that that was someone else don't worry about it sorry exclamation point i assumed since there were melons i could eat them bulletproof argument can't ban me if i just pretend i'm a little kid he can't hurt me they're being so nice to me i feel bad we have free melons at the farmlands portal that's cool i don't care about you and i'm using you only for content yay good fun okay for this next bit i do kind of need a hacked client and yes i still have the tree background from my last video i pray for the day that you can download minecraft hacks or really anything else minecraft related at all without having these stupid [ __ ] ads does anyone fall for these you could have made the download button more convincing they're just big green text with continue and a slight drop shadow at least like make it round and clickable there's another one latest driver updates drivers for what are they targeting grandmas here i don't think grandmas are buying minecraft hacks okay boys the hacks have been acquired ooh this is nice why is it that right as i do that i get a message saying x-ray mods and x-ray texture packs are against the rules please don't use them they know they're stalking me oh my god there's so many options i could get banned in like 80 different ways here okay i'm just gonna start by very obviously x-raying and then work my way up this certainly makes things easier let me just get full diamond armor suspiciously fast god damn it you see normally i'd be happy with this but i didn't break the other two rules okay let's reconnect with an alt i'm gonna have to break out my girlfriend's old account you know i figured the name boffy wifey might be just a little suspicious so i changed it to this abomination let's just take a moment to go over all my previous minecraft names this was my main account before youtube we've got i don't like this josh lightyear that's an extremely clever play on words of buzz lightyear technocrits i guess that was technoblade but crits [ __ ] kill me crits for life but life spelled with a y and a four instead of four oh so cool buzz potato this one's actually not bad and white hat hacker i was an edgy kid okay enough of that we're not here to look at my old username we're here to ruin a child's day no specific child just you know children in general welcome oh my second time being welcome to the server in the span of 10 minutes you know just in case they catch on i'm gonna do some light cover-up here it's me hattie wampus wampus1987 everyone knows cattywampus1987 i am a child doing things a child does all right now that they'll never suspect a thing i can continue with my plan it's come to my attention that one of the hacks is just called dot taco i'm intrigued as to what this might be okay i'm entirely underwhelmed what the hell are half of these hacks miley cyrus all right yeah that's the dumbest [ __ ] i've ever seen okay i have to admit it's it's like three out of ten funny lsd i haven't done lsd but i don't think it looks like this you know what i'ma keep this on this is soothing i'm gonna have a headache after about two minutes of this why is my hot bar just blindingly white nothing makes sense please kill me whoa oh i turned on flight that was an accident don't ban me i mean you know not yet okay here's the plan i gotta advertise my channel curse and just ferociously hack on the span of five seconds before they can ban me slash y piss perfect bam bam they have a good anti-cheat so it's not making things easy but i'm trying someone's calling me i just fell everything's going to [ __ ] unnatural block placement what are you talking about you've been muted why would you do that server's going on about unnatural block placements yeah keep crying little do they know i'm jesus i don't [ __ ] know just banned me already i'm done with this video and me so i can make a funny joke and then end it i'm like very obviously hacking here fly everywhere yes bingo perfect okay bye

Channel: Boffy

Views: 3,725,176

Rating: 4.8788471 out of 5

Keywords: gaming, minecraft, server, Reviewing Terrible Minecraft Servers, review, terrible, speedrun

Id: 3Anhx0cwwh8

Length: 16min 39sec (999 seconds)

Published: Sun Jan 31 2021