red skelton 01

Red Skelton well you can't top that good night thank you very much ladies and gentlemen you know it's always quite flattering when you walk out and hear applause without doing anything you know that's probably the most applause I'm gonna hear all evenings I'm gonna be smart and say good night actors are like that they're always afraid that someone's not going to remember or recognize them you know like I was coming down the street this afternoon there's a group of people and I think anybody recognized me and boy Shields red Skelton's in the crowd and they all turn around looked at me I was so embarrassed I'm sorry I yelled but it's nice to be back in Canada again and I'm actually here by popular demand I was here 1934 but I have a lot of fun everywhere I go I make it sort of like a vacation as a matter of fact I said to my wife would you like to go on a vacation she says no our marriage is a vacation that Union Jack we say it that way since my marriage you you were my last resort now I'm not going to do jokes about wives because I will say one thing though that my wife is one of the most unusual women you'd ever want to meet the facilities of life don't seem to bother her you know I I walk down the street and ladies recognize and friend and they give me a kiss on the cheek and she never gets jealous you know and she raised his thoroughbreds and quarter horses one stepped on her foot she didn't even get mad so I think somebody like that you should always be nice and say nice thing wherever she spits grass never grows again my wife's nice though she's really nice she she called me sweetie pie honey bun and she can't remember my name no but I'm having a lot of fun here do I sound little husky huh do I sound I'll tell you what it is it's the hotel where we're staying where are we staying yeah world's largest basement I'll tell you know they gave me a lovely room with running water heat when you shut it off a foot but they got the greatest security system I've ever seen in my life the security officer knocked on my door and he says you got a girl in there and I says noni threw one in the reason I get a little a little husky little husky the the change of climate I came from the desert appear Z and last night it was so cold my room one twin bed got in with the other would look in I'm a 33rd degree Mason last night I went down for degrees didn't sleep all night long my teeth are chattering I finally got up and took them out of the glass but no it's a nice hotel it's a nice hotel they got a real bellhop over there this guy's got one leg but you know nutty things happen around hotels hey you know if you if you if you go to a hotel you know what you can do you can take a glass a drinking glass and you put it up against the wall yeah yeah yeah put up against the wall you can hear everything in the other room well last night I'm standing there what do you think I hear a guy on the other side with a glass I walked in when I go I said come here come here come here I grabbed it like an idiot I'm standing there for a half hour I don't hear nothing she says that's been going on all evening but she knows silly things do happen around hotels I was here a few years ago I was in Toronto and during a blackout the all the electricity went off and everybody had to walk up to the room so it was after my performance I was at the that the big excel what they call it the exhibition yes that it the CEA CEC nei whatever it is anyhow I go into the hotel now everybody has to walk up to the rooms I went upstairs the first guy on the first slide is stairs he was so lit up you could read by him no kidding me you brush against me getting out a whole rub so I said to him could I be in some assistance he says will you be so kind he says I live before the third floor but I don't think I will make it you know well I helped him up three flights stairs I open the door I throw him in walk downstairs here's another guy he looked worse than the first wooden thing so I said then where you live he says I live up on the third floor well I threw him over my shoulder and I pack him up three flights of stairs I open the door I throw him in walk downstairs here's another guy but just I got him on his feet he started hollering help please help the security officer came what's the matter the guy should what's the matter this darn fools been packing me up three flights of stairs and throwing me down the elevator shaft and one night there was a lady call downstairs and she says the room clerk there's a man up across the court he's taking a bath he has a shades up so the security officer goes up he's a well lady you can't see anything but the man's head she says is that so he's dad so get on that dresser and take a look would you will you bring me in a hat would you bring in my hat you know good help is hard to get these days okay we got a major it's been with us for nine years and I said to her the other day eyes is Maisie I can write my name in the dust on the piano she says education is a wonderful thing in it I got a joke free I got a joke for you to buy time to see go Gertrude Heathcliff you carry he said boy I'm tired I'm tired she's what are you tired about yeah I've been doing anything says do you realize that every day I do this about 45,000 times a day she said you're putting me on she's know 45,000 times a day I do this she said wouldn't it be easier to buy some do I got one for you one for you they're flying themed geez look down there is the ship of fools is how do you know it's the ship of fools either they're looking up I got a joke Megan do an elephant talking to a hippopotamus the elevat-- dead guy you know the eleventh did you know you know why I like to do this lousy Joker every time I wrinkle up my nose to talk like this I look down the front row during a game yet they said the hippopotamus he did you know there is nothing worse than a cold in the nose and the hippopotamus have you ever had chapped lips I started to say I may start to tell you joking and wander off somewhere but I get back to the joke eventually you see at my age your mind wanders not far see I found out a long time ago that I'm not see but I admit it I admit it be I found out another thing too I may be nut for as long as I make money they ain't going to lock me up I like to do a little little patch mine now for you above a little old man a little old man and a door little old man in the door you think I'm acting this is when I'm acting we got a nutter we got an under down here you know I know juries I tell a joke she explains to the him and he says yeah little old man in the door you

Channel: Clifford Hilliker

Views: 1,103,037

Rating: 4.8244514 out of 5

Keywords: red skelton

Id: QDQi6txKzag

Length: 12min 10sec (730 seconds)

Published: Wed Apr 03 2013