Best of Dini Petty: Red Skelton

for almost two decades millions of people across North America gathered around the TV set so on Tuesday evening for an hour of the best comedy going the Red Skelton Show and out at the age of 78 the world's funniest clown is still going strong he has suffered incredible tragedy in his life but he has made millions of us at least temporarily forget our own problems through his tremendous talent we're very privileged honored and absolutely thrilled to pieces to have this comedy legend with us today ladies and gentlemen mr. Red Skelton [Applause] [Music] [Applause] everybody loves a clown today we bring you one of the world's finest Red Skelton has held a soft spot in the hearts of millions of people for over 40 years his enduring comedy is loved by all for its artistry and its emotion who will ever forget the Red Skelton Show the longest-running variety show in television history with its famous characters like good old Klemke diddle hopper sherry Deadeye and Freddie the freeloader even today these characters sell out the house and red tours around the world I want you to know that we've had a lot of people come to the show we've had movie stars and rock and roll singers we have never had the response we've had to this man the crew had to go have their picture taken with him we had trouble getting him in here for an interview because the people lined up ladies and gentlemen a living legend mr. Red Skelton [Applause] this is a yeah thank you well I'm all relatives yup it's with my family and then some hmm we uh we met in a while ago I flew out to Banff to see you perform in a show and you made a promise to me this is the first one-on-one television interview you've done in about 20 ever done yeah and you made me a promise you said yes I'll come to your show when I come to Toronto and a promise is a promise yeah the reason I I did that they had Margaret Thatcher there and I figured that well it was her time to perform and stuff so I had one thing I said to her Banff I ate this beautiful he says she says not I ain't isn't she says she says don't you know the Queen's English I said I heard she was yeah [Applause] then we had that vanna vanna vanna truck Ivana Trump yeah yeah she was just here a while ago what she was yeah she's written a book and everything yeah I heard about that yeah I visited him down in Atlantic City Donald yes he's buying up the town again you know again yeah and he don't know Japanese to me did you uh did you write your letter this morning yes yes yeah yeah they know about that I don't know did you know that every morning this man gets up at what time well my day star I'll give it to you real quick my day starts around 5:30 in the morning after I shower and shave I write a love letter to mrs. Skelton whether I'm at home or away and I do a pencil sketch to illustrate something in the letter she counted her books the other day 1,600 pages in each one she has 310 books just of letter a leather-bound and then after I write the letter I write five musical selections each they have over 8,000 18,000 copyrighted musical selections I've written 64 symphonies London Philharmonic recorded four of them and they're going to do more in an October September October one of the two days then I do an outline for a short story each day on Sunday I take the best of the seven stories and write a complete story that way I have 365 ideas a year to work from and 52 short stories see and then then I can do whatever I want to during the day it's about 9:30 yes spare time yeah yeah then I go out I do my concerts and after the concerts over at night I go back to the hotel I shower I lay down and for one hour and boom without a clock or anything I wake right up again and I paint about 2:30 in the morning see something much sleep do you live on about three hours and I you've always yeah it doesn't bother me no people there's a couple of times a day I lay down in the gutter and go I didn't I see I don't think a lot of people know that you have this incredible musical town you've written all these pieces you've written books at poetry and if you look around the studio there are some incredibly fine paintings that this mint is wonderful oil paintings and they're all of clowns a lot of our characters are recognized yes from the show but I do still lifes landscapes and stuff but I don't paint like van Gogh or Leonardo da Vinci but what have they painted lately you know so if you figured out what you're gonna be when you grow up yet no reason there was never any publicity about that when I was on television all the agents and everybody that around you they want to you know push what the money's coming in on so and I found out a long time ago that people are all we're all Christopher Columbus we like to discover things now when people says I didn't know he did that yeah so then when they tell somebody else it's more important and I interviewed Carol Burnett a little while ago now what does she know if she's seen this one yeah this is so this is so beautiful this is one of my favorites well do you know people walk up and this is that Carol Burnett and I said oh yeah that's Carol Burnett there or they say is that Mary Tyler Moore yeah that's very good did you realize he'd pay the picture of me yeah that's me yeah but you know when you paint now people say you wish you could paint anybody can draw if you can write your name you can draw because writing is drawing you know and the one one artist I always felt sorry for was Michael Oh Michael Michelangelo Michelangelo he felt sorry for Michael yeah he lay on his back for 17 years he's for seven years painting that Sistine Chapel and the Pope came in and it was finishes that's nice but we're gonna need a second coat ha ha and Van Gogh you know when he cut his ear off a lot of people don't know that he went blind and he cut his ear off you went boy yeah you had kept coming down over his eye you cannot resist where I would ever I've seen you when we were in Banff and there's a little small gathering of people with Yvonne and those other people and out there when the crew came around you just automatically entertain and tell jokes you just love it don't you well I see I feel that I was put here for a purpose and then so I try to fulfill it people will walk up to me they say how you do 75 concerts a year I says yeah listen why I said well I got a government to support now I saw one of your concerts in benefit we went to this big dinner and then someone said red Skelton's gonna tank for two hours and I went two hours yeah not many people go to a dinner in for two hours that's really long when it was over I thought that was about 25 minutes it felt like yeah you're um don't you realise you're getting older you're supposed to slow down oh you should I was 78 yeah I'm 80 [Music] July dat dat I would have been 90 but I spent a year in Hamilton I was reading that you started one sort of your big break one of your big breaks was in Canadian nightclubs is where you really started no it would chase the either but for the Chase theater here wellokay wasn't sure yeah yeah I was master of ceremonies there for a year I didn't know that while new Canadians was yes so that's why I'm so attached to Canada I have a very deep feeling about it you know and I was a year in I was a year in Toronto and a year in Montreal I would go one week I'd been in Toronto and then go to Montreal and I would pick up the new show and they only had five acts on the bill but I did an act in between each act T so it was at an act for evil bill oh so you were the act in between the acts and E and a lot of funny things happen in in Toronto there was one time there was a fella the-- i laughed myself akedan people say to me why do you laugh at your own jokes well I figured why a 5,000 people sitting in an audience why should I be the only guy not getting a joke but they had on the bill this Swiss bellringer right B and he was the meanest guy I have ever met in my life you know he's the type of guy that would go into the library and press down the letters and Braille books you know mean really really mean yeah so um on the the last two shows further we therefore a wicked four shows that they the last last two shows on the supper show the crowds were rather small you know I switched these bells around B he went on he start playing the most horrible music you ever heard in your life so the he who's mad but he was gonna kill whoever did it so nobody said anything so he says hey they ruined my love my life for me you know it real angry so the next show he check all the bells the sheath they were in the right places goes out to play and the orchestra stopped and I'd taken all the clappers out here fixed his little wagon good huh but then he started he started laughing on this thing and he came off the deer man and he wasn't really mean or angry at all he had received a letter a telegram on the first day that the show opened that his wife had died and he worked out the week because he needed the money so badly you know and then I always felt bad about it but he says that sure snap me out of it you know so yeah I know you have been on television for a while but you want to use well you won't forget this part we'll be back right after this commercial break oh you're gonna do that don't do that right now we're back with your amazing mister Red Skelton right after this [Applause] I don't both times that I've met you I've noticed you have this large chain what is it your dad boy that's a little trinket you got there those are my baby teeth what is it a spectacular well III do I make jewelry I did these things I did all this dose of mountings and stuff look at this little tiny diamond he's got here yeah yeah all right I'll get you hitting the head or not you know let's see this right yeah yeah you put it on isn't it yeah in that night you made this yes not that stone but anything yeah then I did all I did this the little wedding ring and I don't have him a watch I had watch that I painted a clown on and I was with Michael Jackson and he said okay what a lovely watch I said you want it he's fuller said it's yours that's no you can have it so I gave it to him so you just I know I understand I was always reading was for somebody admired one of your Rolls Royces and you gave it to you yeah I think you're wrong choices are beautiful yeah I have I have another one I give you I gave you one of those little Japanese cars you know you know that was so funny the Japanese says that the American we're lazy and kind of stupid and I was riding one of those little Japanese cars the other day there's a horrible pounding and we raised up the hood here's this little guy still working on the motor there's another side to your life you know there's a fascination with clowns that you have obviously so many of these paintings are clowns well I do still lives landscape portraits everything and you see me this was often said that you were quoted as saying you did paintings because they sold real well people know the clowns they sell better than anything how much do they sell for now well um I remember 40 to 50 to $100,000 yeah uh-huh I get embarrassed you know do you that's why I sent him the guy have 36 galleries in the states and 21 in Canada yeah there's that you have so many different talents you're an extraordinarily dear let a gifted man not really no oh no I don't do any things you can do or they couldn't do you put your mind to things and you can do it you know do you believe that oh yes but you were such a determined person I remember meeting that you started painting by I mean you were poor by cutting your own hair I made my brushes I wrote I would take me I used to stay in after school and clean all the paint pots and stuff and put it in little jars for myself you know and then I would go home and I cut big hunks of hair mine and I'd put it on and then take us a pencil or a twig and wrap around and make brush had hairy paintings but they were but then I started big I must have oh I would say 3000 brushes that have never been used 3000 yes and I said to my wife why is it when I go buy an art store I have to buy brushes she says because when you were little you couldn't afford them sure that would make sense yes maybe you figure if you buy brushes you'll keep more hair yeah yeah yeah I'm getting to the point now like I'm with him with us it's no more head and shoulders it's now mop and gold Greg's gal is in town and one of the 75 shows he does a year you're here doing three shows at the O'Keefe centre and you couldn't get a ticket if you wanted they are sold out there no scalping tickets as they did not aware they were scalping them under 400 dollars to see yeah well they did the last time I was here now if they weren't sold out I wouldn't have come on I know you told me that in bed if you did you won't you won't come unless your soul don't know why is that well because it looks like I'm trying to promote something the other way I like you and I'm here to visit with you that's except you're so not promoting anything but at this point when you are you are a living legend you're one of the most famous some people are famous and some people become part of history of the world and you were part of history well nobody would ever think you were promoting anymore no I'm not I know but I could be so sensitive about it that you're very sensitive today people shouldn't come on and visit with someone just to be nice and say but you were nice to me and you gave me attention although there was somebody there was far more important than I was you know the young comedians today what they do after the show is over they live with that applause and that stuff that they did all day when I finished my performance no like last night I did it everybody was wondering why I came out when the show is over I walk into this empty auditorium and there's no applause there's no echos of laughter and I say to myself an hour ago I was important tomorrow I must start again Hey dear and yes because um the most actors suffer with eye trouble I did this I did that but you're very gentle very lovely lady you're like my wife but we've been married a good many years I'll tell you an interesting thing we've only had one serious argument and I but I learned a great lesson from it we were first married I got angry and I took a swing at her and I didn't see her for about five days and then finally my eyes started to open you know the Milan I you met your wife assume yeah other extraordinary stories my my wife and I I've known her all of her life I used to go visit her father Greg Tolin who did Citizen Kane best years of our life with reais if I have Academy Awards this gentleman is a little she was a tiny little thing I used to go over and visit I push her around her stroller now my wife and I was married to for 28 years knew that she was dying and she said to Lothian if you see your way clear you take good care of him and don't let anyone hurt him because you know him better than anyone they then she waited until the day our son had died with leukemia ten years later and she couldn't stand the pain anymore the medications was it worth helping and so she took her own life and she left a note the reason I chose this day is so that you won't feel bad twice in one year I know you told me that your man who's had such incredible success in your life and such and have given so much happiness to people and yet the start you've had so much tragedy in your own life you lost your own really we all have it but you've had your fair share and maybe a bit more you lost your only son to leukemia yes yeah and they said that you couldn't entertain any more Children's Hospital's after that no it's just too dark for you I I I'm a Shriner a 33rd degree Mason and I give the Masonic Lodge two hundred fifty thousand dollars a year to let me alone yeah they come into town they say will you come out and visit the children at the hospital they don't know me you know and I've got legs worse than some of the kids you know and so I just say that but I help them raise monies and stuff you know you know I do wear steel braces on your legs and that's the price over clown pays over 48 years I've worn these things that's what all those Falls yeah yeah but I don't pay any attention to it I hurt in a day time you know but then when I get ready to go on the stage of some like a magic that comes and I don't feel anything until after the show's over then they have to carry I remember the day of your showing BAMF and you do this and every time you have a show you stay in your room for a couple of hours no I stay in my room all day you have a whole process you go through s and I play the tapes unlike the show I did last night before I do my show here I will supply that tape because there'll be things in there that I've never said before and I added a brand one on the stage you know and I go out and no matter what I put in the show or take out the show still runs two hours and I can't find if we found a new joke he I say he says it been out here for an hour and a half my conductor nice I haven't been out here an hour and a half Abbott the only gel no no so I then I say yeah I got one more thing I want to do would you bring me a chair and so instead of bringing out they throw it out on the stage and I look at it now look offstage and look at the chair again and look at the audience yeah hour and a half like they want to go home we're going to take a break where we can back a wonderful story about how Red Skelton starred in the visit has to do with a wonderful man called Edwin will tell you that story right after this [Applause] oh yeah that great I was just told the folks a nice story and greed set in I wish I was telling the audience I only got half way through it a little little cat died and went to heaven and so they said now if there's anything that you would like to have you just let us know because we want you to be happy he's well all my life I wanted a big white satin pillow to sleep on there's no problem no problem so they go to their office in comes a delegation of little mice and they said you have a problem this is yeah that commissary is so far away from where were stationed that we're hungry time we get back where we are we thought maybe me you could usually get us little roller skates or something there's no problem no problem so they go back to see the cat a couple of days later and this is how you're doing it oh now I know what they mean by heaven is that pillow is just wonderful and that meal on wheels is great [Applause] no one figure I and I remember reading this you uh you did I don't know how many shows the Red Skelton Show was on how many 20 consecutive years now you have you own the rights to all of those tapes and you've made the statement that you you may ask for them to be burned upon your demise no good no I'll tell you I'll tell you what that was all I play a lot of colleges and the college students they ask all the time when we're gonna see your reruns oh yeah so this one day I go in and they were talking about art I go into colleges I go in residence for three days first day I give each day I give talks with questions and answers first days political science propaganda communications second days religions third days theatrical arts so these students ask this is uh did you read about that Indian out in Arizona that burned all of his paintings because they were going to charge whatever he char sold the last painting for in case he died that would be paid to the government so he burned all of those paintings so then someone says what are you going to do when you don't release your paintings I said I'll do what the Indian did hey that's how this started oh nothing was said about a year later someone says I understand that you're going to burn your paintings I said oh oh I mean your reference so I said oh I've created an interest now they're interested I got their attention okay I've got their attention I says oh yeah yeah that's what I'll do if they don't release them before I die they say how you know when you're gonna die I said I'll put it in my will so that's how that all got started so so when are we gonna see the reruns of the red Scott would it be great to see oh well I'll tell you why I'll tell you why I haven't released them I don't think anybody should have to pay money at a box office or invite into their home to hear things that they can read on public bathroom walls hey now I did a special Christmas special for home box office my contract read that show in front of me the show behind me cannot have violence or vulgarities because you can watch three shows in a row and you can't remember who said what so they presented this Christmas show and some people came up on the street and they said I thought she didn't do a little risque jokes and stuff I said well I try not to this is how did you get away with this and I said I didn't say that they says yeah oh no no no no it was an Eddie Murphy he was on before you so when they came to me says when you want to do the next movie I says you have enough money does it upset you when you see these comedians today it's a shortcut for thinking deers know what it is Eddie Murphy's a funny man he is rich I Pryor is a funny man but they do these things I think because they're frightened T is that why they do it insecurity we know these things you know they talk about such sex education and stuff Christ what the population way it is can you imagine what it'd be if we knew what we were doing [Applause] yeah tell them it was Edwin that that actually and I don't know he bought a newspaper for nosiness I was selling newspapers I was I was nine years old at the time on the corner of Fifth and main at Vincennes Indiana and this gentleman came up and he said what are they doing this town for excitement and I said well there's a big New York Road show in town tonight with a comedian it wind is his name this is his name up there was right across from the theater and I said that's what I'm gonna do when I get older I'm gonna try to make people laugh you know so he says you're gonna see the show tonight I said no I don't have that kind of money he's I know the manager the theater you come down I'll see that you get in I said well I got some of my papers so I had three papers left and he gave me a dollar and papers were only three cents apiece in those days and if you tore the headline and the name of the paper off at the top you take it back you had to buy the paper for a cent and a half a right and then you have to buy two or three papers at a time so I'd buy them and sell them but if you turn the headline back in they give you a money back they give you money back so I went home I told my mother and I gave her the dollar and she gave me a dime she's now you come right straight at home so I went down to the theater and I didn't know what he'd be they're not she gave me a dime a nickel for popcorn and nickels for carfare on the way home so I go down and here's this man standing in front of the theater and I said wait a nice fella see so I'm sitting in the balcony and all of a sudden a body comes through the curtain and I look real close I said to the people around me that's my friend down there he got me this a Shh let's know that he can't be my seat here isn't that there was - fished me down so at the intermission I ran from the balcony down backstage and all the stagehands knew I was stage struck anyhow cause I hung around this is get out of here and he was standing he says no no we said let him in let him in remember Edwin the dogs not only talk yeah if it here come in he had he had great jokes like he says though hello he always carried a telephone with hello I'm over at kabhi kabhi CBS Capiz he said you want to come over and see me you know how to get here you come down sunset you turn on Fairfax Fairfax is the Jewish neighborhood in Los Angeles did you come down Fairfax you can buy all the stores and when you come to one that doesn't have a salami hanging in the window that is to be so he says to me he says how do you like the show I said fine so either did you ever seen an audience before I said no so he held me up to the asbestos curtain they had an curtain used to come down for firing a Sylar relation so I held me up and I saw the audience coming back in and I fell in love with them was that your first press my family that's been my family all these years so he thinks could be he says to me those are called border lights up there those the border lights just in front of the curtain there's life they call footlight footlights so you want to be a comedian that will remember yes do comedy always say funny things not only say funny things but when you say things I am funny they now the scene changes we kept in correspondence with each other all these years I go down and for a wardrobe fitting to the studio and he's doing his first serious role in the rec room for a heavyweight I look over and I see a car parked and I looked in real close I said well looks like Edwin I go over and he's drunk and he didn't drink and I Isis red what's the matter he says I can't go on and do this he says the day that show is gonna go on it's not not going on I'm not going on I just come on I stayed with him all day we fill him with coffee and stuff I found out one thing never give a drunk coffee hey why well because then you got a loudmouth drunken full of coffee be better they go to sleep better they go left Lee so anyhow he did the show now they showed it to the East Coast then they have a kinescope in those days that they ran later on the west coast and I sent him a telegram I says Edie you were wonderful but remember just do comedy yeah great story yeah we need to take a break we're back after this with the amazing mr. Red Skelton [Applause] whose have is that this is mine this is that's the famous brown hat that says it all those different things with different characters did I you know and the crooked politicians San Fernando red always liked him he says that she's my friends and y'all are my friends don't say you're not my friends because nobody is gonna tell me who my friends are I want you to know this is gonna be a clean campaign I'm not gonna throw mud at my opponent because he's a fine man fine man he's wife mighty fine woman mighty fine what he seasoned that Dame he's running around with he'll never hit you when I turn it upside down it's Junior you know junior the mean little kid he said Sam is it junior you pulling that cat's tail no I'm not pulling a cat ki holding on he doing the pouring where did you develop these characters from were these people you knew or think did you ever see a mean little kid that you based it on well see my father died before I was born and I went into show business when I was ten years old the people and a guitar at a Medicine Show yeah the Medicine Show now for the benefit of those that don't know what a Medicine Show was it was a platform out an open field and we used to give a free show and they would sell their product see right they call a television now hiii-yah Medicine Show and I never had a childhood hey hey so I think basically what I did was create jr. and I live my childhood I think that's why my little boy only lived ten years I saw my childhood through his eyes you know yeah and so then the my on my television show they bring political jokes in I say Clem can't do political Joe Lincoln did a lot so I made up San Fernando red and with the Freddie the freeloader you know he stayed Doug he stayed down I didn't i stager I didn't do so well this morning it was raining when I got up you know it says you're nowadays when you find a good cigar you can't find a place to smoke it you know I gotta tell you too much my favorites were your uniqueness Gertrude Heathcliff now where did they come from with that idea I went I was down it to be Santa Monica and I saw these birds Danny they were looking at [Applause] so I said Aesop is right hey sups write these things the animals talking to each other you know like it like this this is the bear said to the skunk where do you get this stuff animals talk to Jerry - Kate Segal it's a um system is it you're always worrying about things he said I know I know I don't right now I'm worried about Willy the whale this is one that's the way they talk whoa if he fell in love with a submarine now every time they fire torpedo he hands out the guard [Applause] [Music] [Applause] you mutt you do I think it's 150 different characters in your repertoire no I guess over the years I've done that quite a bit not not quite that many who is the most popular who's well you know they still get fan mail no after 20 years at Christmastime Freddie the freeloader about a couple years ago received five Christmas cards one card had $2 in it one had $5 in it and they says we know that you're not on television anymore and we want you to have a nice Christmas so I answered back as Freddie I said the red takes good care of me I work on the ranch and he he takes good care of me and stuff and I you were very kind to send me the money and I would like you have one of Reds reproductions you know now don't send me letters this year I'll get 20,000 exactly good so I'd send them back a little thing and then Clem gets letters all the time Clem yeah this is a klimkin it'll offer she's do you do kiddie could it be to be you know that Johnny Carson one of the first divorces he got was because of Klemke little hopper know he used to write for me did you know this yeah Johnny wrote for Johnny had a program that ran for five minutes in the morning in Los Angeles and I see this kid on television he's only on for five minutes so I go down to the station at he's on about 6:30 in the morning hey Finn so I go down I said I'll be your guest I was his first guest re ever head see so I'm sitting there and he's got five minutes he and he ignores me they all the time he's eight and does he's commercial for butternut coffee words coffee ever taken your legs so the next day I go down again and I said we'll keep this going all week long so the next day goes down he turns around he looks up and he says but he doesn't say anything see people know who I am because I'm already on television stuff so then the third day he says uh we got a guest star today what was your name I said red skelton he's a likely story and then he went into the commercial and that was it so this could went all week long and on Friday when it came on I was sitting there where he said I had him tied up in a finger so and then when he lost his sponsor because I did the commercial and I told him what I thought of the coffee he I said I said I went in this restaurant the other day and the butter was so strong and walked over and says hello to the coffee the coffee is too weak to answer well then he used to write for me so he'd write these Gertrude and Heathcliff stories and he said it he's testing you do do did he feel today and she'd come in and see me she thought he was losing his mind was a true story there's a true story I was on with Johnny a couple of times and he ran the first thing he had a kinescope of it see you handsome devil we're gonna take a commercial break and I'm not telling you who the sponsor is I won't be back right after this look at us don't no way they got a perfect [Applause] we're back with Red Skelton we were supposed to have another guest on this show but this man is so incredible we looked at the other guide said go home and come back tomorrow we have some Christ you come back no ha ha that's a promise yeah okay we have some questions from the audience here question one ask yes I know you've entertained a lot of US presidents yeah which one is the most enjoyable that you remember well there were two Nixon had the greatest sense of humor of any of them ah and from Roosevelt I was the official master of ceremonies for six and a half years at the White House under the Roosevelt administration and I did a horrible thing to him one time I went over and I says the people at the theater don't think I know you and he used to send for me send his car over not all the time about maybe once a month sometimes twice a month and I'd sit there and while he felt fed felo his little dog I sat there and telling jokes and stuff so I said they don't think I know you now I know that you and the Secret Service go over to this little restaurant on Tuesday nights if I'm in there and you come over we at least say hello he said I certainly read you know be happy to so I go I don't tell the the acts on the bill that I'm going to wear the president's going to be so I wait 10:30 nothing happened court at 11:00 nothing have 11 o'clock doesn't have a nice of gee I'm glad I didn't tell him all of a sudden the door opens in comes these Secret Service guys and he came in he was in his wheelchair so he comes by his red I said please Frank not when I'm with guests [Applause] but Nixon to give you an idea the guys sense of humor that Nixon had he gave a birthday party from Mamie Eisenhower and he sent out these invitations $1,000 a plate and down in the corner it said Roquefort cheese 50 Cent's extra funny yeah this is it true that you keep a daily record of things that have happened to you yes all day long I write down five of the most interesting things that happened five things I never knew before and five of the most humorous things that have happened through the day you do this every day every night before I go to sleep will you be writing your autobiographies I've got I've got over 1600 books I see it's a little long yeah but I ever since I was 10 years old I've kept notes everyday of different things that happen so when these book I've had several books written about me and I've never met the people that wrote them Oh were you write one someday well I will maybe mrs. Skelton put this stuff together because not that I'm ashamed of anything I did but I wouldn't want to relive that stuff again you know like the people asked how's humor changed I'll give you an idea how humors changed in Wheeling West Virginia I got the show arrested I was in burlesque at the time now in Burleson those days they had children in the audience there were no vulgarities or anything but I did this one joke which satire is what we did burlesque in those days we did a satire of the gay 90's and we did a satire of Cleopatra in this road show that I was in so we're singing this song tell me pretty maiden are there any more at home like you and I all in those old gay 90 outfits see and I kneel in front of this girl I said I'll show you how humor has changed I said would you like to take a little walk and she lifts her skirt to her ankles and she says I think it's going to rain I says why she's I think it's going to rain I said I'd like to see it clear up and we gotta rest do you have a photographic memory your memory is jut you do yeah my wife I tell the people you got a photographic mind she has not developed yet yes I can now see you now I can tell you what where we met were you set in the you sat in front of the up in the room a special room that is set up with food you in the front of the table and and there was another lady sat next to you was married to the man who was putting on the big show and across the in a chair on this side was Margaret Thatcher and I was seated over on this side of her and and Vanna Havana was right there she was in the chair over itself you know that's a man my wife says to me if you look at her you'll go blind yeah so I sit there I'm gonna risk one eye okay we have to go to commercial we have to go to commercial we'll be back don't apologize we're back this is our last segment coming up with them amazing the talented the wonderful mr. red skelton boat is a racetrack and a pickpocket a guy a pickpocket I see on his hand going into my pocket I reach through and shook hands with [Applause] we only have a couple of minutes left we have a few more questions is it true that you don't like to talk on the telephone and that you have a fear of fires yeah no I don't I don't like to talk on the telephone I'll tell you why I am an and saw me in a theater and he says come into the office I think I can book here so the phone rang and he said oh hello Charlie I'll get rid of this bum in a couple of minutes how you doing charlie how's your wife what a she is you know so I thought if he talks like that is supposed to be his friend what are you going to say about me when you go inside never talked on the phone said so now I've worked out the habit of people that know me never say I kind of talk to red cuz they know I won't answer the phone you know yeah do you have a fear of fire fear of fire yeah well when I was a little boy after my father died he died before I was born he died mate I was born in July he couldn't face it hey but then his half-brother burned down the house and the store which was connected together that my mother had willed to her he burned down the store and I was about two years old and I remember even to this day the taking me through the fire I can close my eyes and see it you know and another thing too I can't get in a tub of water or I can't get into a swimming pool why because when I was little they tried to drown me in a swimming pool and I was gravel pit they threw me in this thing and I could see that mucky water and stuff and I was cold you know trying to drown you the kids I was playing with my brothers and all of them they were throwing me in there they were playing religion being young guys started off he'd say they dunk me now need Paul never says do you believe and before can say anything he took me down again do you believe now I got boobs whipped down and run again do you believe I said yeah I believe you trying to drown me head up the boom and he put threw me down and walked away and I stayed at the bottom and finally my other brother jumped in and rescued me brought me out so to this day whenever I get I carry a medal with me I'll show it to you later I usually wear it around my neck especially when I'm on the plane or anything in case i faint do not throw cold water on me because I think I go out further and further further I've been given up three times for dead you've been getting what really 300 3 times they say this guy's dead I say no I'm not but they couldn't hear me because I keep going out further and further and further when that cold water hits me I'm a weirdo yeah you go where you we've come to the end we only have about a minute left 30 seconds if I just wanted wanted to thank you for keeping your promise and tell you that I told you I could retire now you're one of the most wonderful people I've ever met this has been one of the best shows I've ever done and I want you to I [Applause] let me tell you mr. Red Skelton

Channel: Dini Petty

Views: 1,524,957

Rating: 4.8299646 out of 5

Keywords: Red Skelton (Film Actor), Dini Petty, Best of Dini, Interview (TV Genre), Talk Show (TV Genre), Toronto (City/Town/Village), Variety Show (TV Genre), CANPRO Award, IRIS Award, Best international show

Id: 6z2ojfveL-I

Length: 44min 30sec (2670 seconds)

Published: Thu Dec 03 2015