r/Cursedcomments | rug

if you imagine his traps as shoulders he looks like a skinny guy piloting a muscle [Music] how's it going ladies and gentlemen welcome back to mk i'm your host robin the tall one with the blonde hair and the blue eyes and the sadness and today we're going to be taking a look at our slash cursed comments hmm one of my personal favorites you know what they all kind of are my personal favorites i guess let's get right into it shall we his name is the last thing you ate grandpa's ashes i was gonna say kitty i know a drug deal when i see one oh wait it'd be an innocent meeting between friends if they were polar bears wouldn't if jeez grow up i'm 12 weeks pregnant and i feel like i'm way too big already my husband and i experimented with my horse one drunken night is it possible i'm actually carrying a full i'm so scared to go to ultrasound and then make me aborted if so i'm pro-life 100 even if it's a horse no judging especially if you live in arkansas what the mother of bojack horseman that's where it all began ladies and germs do not shove your card violently deep into the chip reader show some compassion it has sensitive components that need tender love not crazy wild animal strength please do not hate cheese the card reader you may have won the battle but you've lost the war now that don't make sense here anyway should cheese glow in the dark i mean that certainly would be interesting it is glow in the dark as long as you've got a black light name one character who went through more pain than them i'll wait simba can't claim pain he was literally singing i just can't wait to be king before his father's yeah that's true that is true being sad about my friend's death turning him into a meme so his memory can live forever pretty sure meme formats on reddit die in under three days unfortunately uh-huh mofo died twice they may die on reddit but on imager they live forever if harry potter was set in the united states how would the story change master has given dobby a glock dobby freeman show your dp my what dick pic huh an elephant foot as compared to a human foot in a high heel shoe so that's why elephants are so sexy oh the last thing you ate is what you have to name this little girl emily wait a minute hold up hold up how do you compliment someone's body slash appearance without being creepy the shape and luster of the meat and skin bag which covers your skeleton is enticing to me yeah then they just have to assume that you're special what's something we should never have for breakfast uranium-235 i would eat today uranium give your skin that special glow ugly men have read it how did you manage to land a hot chick my marvelous personality and chloroform don't ask me how i couldn't use chloroform my girlfriend lives in finland if your ex was a street sign what would it read dangerous curves ahead not gonna lie i met my son's mother in a strip club and when i do see that sign i instantly think of her what a coincidence that's where i met her too my dad spent a week in the hospital for a heart attack and this is what we owe see my dad was smart he had a heart attack and instead of going to the hospital he just died the funeral was just six grand i do miss my dad though really it was only six grand what did you bury him in a u-haul box his mom is really down to earth oh oh oh come on ah blurst wi-fi go see hot mummies in your area definitely i'm not a fan of bugs either but found a badly injured bumblebee on a patio last year wings were broken so i knew he wouldn't be able to fly away i put some honey out for him then did the sad deed but first time i shed a tear for killing a bug a swift death was likely preferable to the eventual starvation i saw a video on reddit about someone who found a wingless bumblebee nursed it on flowers and sugar water and that eventually learned to climb flowers and feed from them like normal what i'm trying to say is you're a murderer guess the country with just a hairstyle it's nordvpn ah yay nordoff [Music] jesus guys come on i'm pretty sure there are hundreds of people actively at any given moment hundreds that's ridiculous do you know how many people there are in the world let's do the math eight billion people a conservative one orgasm per day oh oh oh god that is that is a lot of orgasms per minute folks girls pockets guys pockets girls handbags guys cargo pants i always keep my wallet up my ass it keeps it smelling nice and it's perfectly safe from thieves yeah my butt cheeks prevent nfc readers if born while underwater a baby can live the rest of its life without any oxygen he lives in a pineapple covered in pee wow that's a that's cool describe your penis with minecraft enchantments fire aspect too please send help oh my god forever stuck between wanting to look fit and wanting to fit five whole pizzas in my mouth hey oh my god he saw a chance and he grabbed it by the balls pokeballs i want to dig up bodies like edgar allan poe and picasso just to see how they look and what they were buried with archaeologists here can i interest you in our lord and savior lara croft sorry lara croft question when does archaeology turn into grave robbing asking for a friend grave robbing turns into archaeology when you aren't sure who's buried there anymore to give a compliment at the gym acceptable non-sexual compliments to give at the gym great towel what's the thread count you do lift bro that's a hell of a grunt you got there i bet there's a lot of open jars in your house that duffel bag holds a lot of towels nice socks wow you're dry if someone walked up to me in a gym and said a body like yours would take forever to decompose i would have security escort me to my car strongest water enjoyer weakest milk enjoyer yeah my sister has the best milk my penis was once in the guinness book of world records but the librarian made me take it out are they taking you to small claims court you have a zoom class the teacher accidentally leaves and you become the new host remove everyone from the room except your crush and watch her awkwardly scientists successfully teach gorilla it will die someday it's all fun and games until quagley realizes he can take down everyone else with him my son left his computer open he has taste name a less toxic community i'll wait it's hard to type toxic sheep with only one hand that is true here's 50 to give me a lap dance sis son where are you i'm at a strip club mom what did you see anything you shouldn't have besides all the naked women yeah one thing my oh god yeah my taste there good at least you didn't see me she yikes with that one you can choose a superpower but the first reply gets to choose a side effect no cancer is not a side effect you can grow the size of your penis the people you're dating have twice the size of yours i see this as an absolute win i live in iraq but none of the letters are silent the women are oh what's something you did once and never again carolina reaper infused gummy bear i almost called an ambulance legitimately thought i was going to die covered in sweat and vomit take us through the timeline here was the mass exodus of bodily fluids instantaneous or delayed over time the moment it hit my tongue i knew i was in deep it was extremely hot and nothing relieved it i was sweating from every skin cell my ears were sweating my soul was sweating i had to chew it very quickly but once i swallowed it the real fear set in as soon as it was down i realized there was only one of two ways it was coming back out and i chose poorly if you've never felt your body digest something in real time it's a little unnerving i could physically feel it travel to my stomach once there everything was a blur side note do not pound water to relieve the heat because you'll turn into a geyser of carolina reaper water coming straight from your mouth and nose i staggered to the restroom on the verge of tears not because it was so hot but because i knew i made a big mistake my body temperature was so high i was stripping clothes off of me as i made it to the stall mind you i was at work so there was this pile of clothes like someone struck down a jedi outside of the stall and i have to wear boots with my work clothes so there i am sweating like a warthog weeping cheese and moaning on the toilet in nothing but socks and boots i was delirious time lost all meaning i was hearing colors seeing sounds i was leaning on all the walls soaking them with sweat and fear i was so sweaty i slid around the seat smearing cheese [ __ ] all over my ass cheeks then the seat making it even more slippery at the peak of vomiting through my legs and crapping and sliding around in a mixture of sweatshirts and shame i was preparing to scream for someone to call 9-1-1 and it just stopped like my body was just shutting down nerve endings because it knew my time has come i started to cool down eventually all my body fluids stopped coming out i composed myself washed my ass out in the sink like an animal and went to lay down sometimes really helped me recover but holy sh was that an experience it was almost cathartic like a near-death experience but if i'm ever in that position again i would make myself puke to keep it from being digested edit words good lord keep the spice away from me come to the end of another video folks but you know the rule we gotta check out that fan art some fan art i made of mk if he was an fnf mod oh that gives me an interesting idea yeah don't worry about it always remember if you even somewhat enjoyed today's video consider dropping a like down below and if you really enjoyed it well make sure to get yourself subscribed and click that bell icon and hey if you want to hear or see more from yours truly make sure to check out my links in the description down below and until next time we'll catch you later bye

Channel: EmKay

Views: 470,776

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit stories, ask reddit, funny reddit, emkay, memes

Id: T-784yh9Dnk

Length: 9min 53sec (593 seconds)

Published: Fri Oct 15 2021