Ranking Scary Mascots w Danny Gonzalez

yes hey how's it going what's up dude how are you good how about you i'm good man hey you guys just got a puppy like a year ago or something right two years ago now yeah we just adopted a puppy a couple weeks ago so like my whole life has been revolving around this dog what happened to your having a peanut uh she got like she got pancreatitis out of nowhere and ended up like we had to take her to like an er vet for like a week and she just like stopped eating and then she died oh i'm sorry yeah thank you that's okay damn um yeah so that was like a couple months ago all right starting off on a positive foot hell yeah i'm kidding i'm sorry man um all right thank you for joining me today of course i thought you know it'd be a fun collaborative tier list video to do this with you how familiar are you with minor league baseball team mascots there's like one minor league team near where i live okay and that is the only minor league team i know uh and what's which one is that they're called the kane county cougars okay okay that's probably that's like more normal than the ones that we're going to review all right minor league baseball teams what i've learned are uh their mascots are oftentimes very very bizarre so we're gonna rank them today we're gonna do a collaborative tier list uh and we're gonna start out with the albuquerque isotopes this is the mascot his name's orbit okay so an isotope has something to do with chemistry right i believe it does yes okay so it's like it's i think it's a type of atom that has like a different amount of electrons than protons which this totally represents yeah so this must be what scientists see when they look in like a microscope at an isotope it's just like a fuzzy little bottom heavy guy and they've never told any of us except for the albuquerque isotopes that this is what an izotope actually looks like wait what is orbit is that the name of the team that's the name of this guy oh is it about space or is it about like electrons i don't get it i have no idea what does orbit have to do with it um here's a little meme though orbit need we say more i mean that pretty much sums it up honestly they do i think they do need to say more i would love to know more actually yeah what do you what do you think what tier are we putting orbit in he seems like a friendly guy i just don't really understand what the [ __ ] his whole vibe has to do with the name of the team he does he does seem kind of friendly he's definitely less scary than some of the ones we're going to review today there's okay so also what like the rings around his arms look like it's like related to like the rings of saturn saturn yeah that's what i was gonna say so like it has even less to do with isotopes it feels like they just kind of threw a bunch of science yeah they cobbled together a bunch of different sciences kind of nerdy the nerdy [ __ ] you know um you know what i think that it's kind of hard for me to say without seeing a bunch of other you know mascots for reference right so i think we just put let's put him in c he seems like a little bit of a middle of the road type of guy i like that i like that give us kind of like um like a uh you know what are they what do you call it in an ex in a chemistry experiment a control uh an isotope that's what it is right okay next up we have the aberdeen ironbirds and these are the mascot's name is ripcord and ferris here they are is one of them always a jedi no it doesn't look like it unfortunately maybe that was just like star wars day or something like that or maybe this was halloween it's kind of funny to dress up like something dressed up like something else yeah that's really interesting i kind of want to for halloween dress up as a uh what is it ripcord i want to dress up as ripcord as a jedi for halloween this year no i want to dress up as the guy dressed up like ripcord dresses so you have to find out what he was wearing underneath the mascot costume and put that on underneath these are the guys that are usually under the costumes oh i thought you were gonna say those are the mascots and the one in the middle is actually a player on the team that's ripcord and ferris okay what do we think you know what yeah i was gonna say it's it's a little bland they're just birds yeah like at least isotope has like a lot he's got a lot going on he's got like the whole rings of saturn thing these are just two birds and honestly nerdy birds yeah like if if you have to dress like something else in order to like convey a little bit of personality that means you're not really doing your job as a mascot so yeah i'm gonna go e probably you cool that yeah that's good next up we have the missoula paddle heads and it's a moose i mean i'm a fan of this because is uh is a paddle head a common like word for a moose never heard this i'm not wearing life never heard that i've never heard most of these team names it's like they just made something up so when you googled paddlehead the first thing that came up was the the baseball team so it's like this isn't a thing no no other than missoula yeah anything other than on the baseball diamond maybe they were hoping it would catch on and people would start calling moose's paddle heads and it just never happened i mean it just looks like a moose it looks like a baseball player became a moose because he's not like that goatee that a lot of baseball players have okay okay and he's wearing the the baseball uniform i mean look at that look at that do they let him play on the team that'd be really cool i think they probably do i honestly i don't like him i got to be honest you don't but he's a i mean i'm a canadian so i like moose i like nice okay so i'm a fan so we should we like land somewhere in the middle and maybe go c um yeah i'm willing to i'm willing to go see two okay a compromise c for company yes actually let's just go ahead and put every mascot and see here except for rip corded ferris no there's there's one that i really really hate okay i'm coming up uh montgomery biscuits oh this is the one big mo his name is this thing oh this thing abducts children for sure i mean look at this picture oh my god holy [ __ ] look at this piece of [ __ ] dude [ __ ] this guy i know right what is he supposed to be i like a an elephant i have no idea is he a biscuit he's like the he's like the dough of a biscuit before you cook it he's just kind of like this melty blob all right look at how just horrifying this thing is it's definitely going to eat that child oh my god snorts up children through that little [ __ ] trunk and it's yeah he just stores them in here he is kind of thick though like if you i i mean like from the front he's kind of a horrific sight but if he turned around i might i might put him a little higher up on the tier damn biscuits got that wagon dude if i was at one of these games i might like spill my popcorn to see if he'd bend over to to clean it up oh never mind what is that is that a tail does he have like a beaver tail i don't know dude i love that the the the player is not even looking at him he's like get the [ __ ] yeah get the [ __ ] away from me dude what is his name big mo is that big mo yeah big moe's like hey i'm here to entertain you here we're in the middle of a [ __ ] game this is getting all over the place bro i don't suppose you could point me towards the nearest child could you there's like hundreds in the stand dude i don't know i mean i think it's safe to say this lumpy idiot is going in f yeah can we agree on that yeah maybe bt or if he turned around yeah but uh pensacola blue wahoos i was kind of wondering what a um oahu is and this does not answer my question what is this thing is this a dinosaur it's either a dinosaur or like some kind of fish like he's got little like fins or something on his head i think it's supposed to be this fish right here oh yeah okay that makes sense yeah okay he kind of looks like a seahorse can you imagine if the mascot actually was a fish that didn't have like arms or legs so it's just like this guy laying in a costume and he just like flops around on the field and just constantly dying yeah putting that in the water the there's like staff that have to drag him on and off the field because he can't actually walk what do we think of this guy honestly he's kind of cool well he reminds me of the cookie monster a little bit yeah yeah mixed with like a mermaid or like the loch ness monster i don't know i'm i'm liking like the kind of aquaman vibes yeah he definitely has like a different feel to him he's he's fun he's not he doesn't look like a child molester yes i agree he's got some personality smiling here i think this guy would actually pump me up for a game yeah i think he pumped me up real good yeah oh look with a water gun how fun is that oh okay yeah he's definitely some sort of water creature yeah okay maybe he sprays that on himself so he doesn't die when he's like not in the water uh should we go what do you think yeah i think beach here okay b let's do b alright quad city river bandits where's quad city never heard of that in my whole life and this that's [ __ ] that's where i go to do my squats quad city so i call the gym [ __ ] he's like laying on his tummy i don't like that that's creepy that's super creepy he looks like he's gonna go rob a bank yeah that's what i was about to say i guess his name is bandit his costume kind of just looks like pants on the bottom like it doesn't actually look like a costume it just looks like furry [Laughter] and like leather shoes i mean that as you said the name implies that he's a criminal he's a [ __ ] criminal yeah you know that doesn't exude positivity is he holding a gun at some baseball games they have those t-shirt guns that they shoot into the crowd this dude actually just shoots people he just has a gun gun yeah so what do we think um i honestly kind of respect him a lot i i i like him i will say he's like he looks so [ __ ] cool except right in the eyes he looks really sad yeah but i'm willing to put him in a tier eight here okay eight's here i like that yeah cool on the outside maybe a little bit of uh you know turmoil on the inside yeah i'm getting kind of like drake vibes exactly certified river boy [Laughter] next up we have the fort wayne tin caps if this if there were me i would have called them potheads that would have been way better oh that's good but this guy freaks me out actually so i definitely have a problem with them making the mascot a human and like making the human wear a human costume it is like it's like what must the person under the costume look like where they had to dress them up in a human costume to make them look like a human he looks exactly like this he's just a russian doll he's like he looks all like like lumpy and stuff does he look like that underneath too yeah he does i'm also this picture freaks me out because he actually looks like he's holding this like a gun like he's miming like you know yeah you know and it was cool when the raccoon did it but not when it's just human not when a white man does it no i'm comfortable going pretty low with this guy what do you think i i would say eater he's not quite as disturbing as uh what's his face sigmo yeah big mo is a big no nice i'm gonna put him right above that and eat here i think that's fair okay let's stick with e there okay we got the amarillo you know what i'm kind of getting male stripper vibes a little bit from this that's it's funny you say that because i was gonna ship yeah i mean yeah i was gonna say he looks like chip and dale yeah like so yeah i'm getting you know a little bit like maybe like a promiscuous type of energy from this it's funny because like he does i agree he does give off stripper vibes but if he was a stripper like he he is kind of already naked can you imagine if a stripper showed up to like your bachelorette party just wearing a belt and boots all right i'm gonna take off my little vest okay i can already see your [ __ ] you can't see my collarbones yet or my hip bones yeah we ca we got what we came here for already i think b okay i'm doing that because also like just as a mascot he's really friendly you know what i will say really friendly he looks friendly and the character design is a lot better than some we've seen like this looks like it could be like a disney character mascot yep i agree next up is the rocket city trash pandas okay is this gonna be another raccoon character because he's got a lot to live up to yeah but he's in a trash can he is a trash can he is a trash can yeah who the [ __ ] came up with trash pandas what in god's name what what horrible place do you do you live that it's just overrun with raccoons and trash cans everywhere like what do we need what should we name our team um well there's always raccoons eating out of the garbage that's littered in the streets so we could go with that why is the trash can also a rocket his name yeah oh yeah it is wait what's his name wait wait sprocket i will say again on this one this looks like a very clean design yes whoever they paid to make this is definitely like you know higher budget tier yeah i mean i i kind of [ __ ] with him honestly yeah he's cool i think he could be a character in like an animated show or something like that i know it kind of i don't for some reason it reminds me of paw patrol which i've only watched one or two times with my nephews okay but he does kind of have a paw patrol vibe about him i'm thinking he could go b or higher okay okay all right let's go a and i swear i've only watched paw patrol a few times with my nephews i swear and it's always been with my nephews i wouldn't watch it without them no never individually and and they always are the ones that want to turn it on yeah wait for them to come over and say can we watch paw patrol now yeah okay next up asheville oh this is the worst asheville tourists they actually made their mascot a [ __ ] tourist so is that a person it's a base it's a giant baseball i guess this is like what a tourist you know it's like oh we're visiting asheville for the day let's go to a baseball game this is what they look like you know yeah what is all over his face is it like he just has like blue [ __ ] on his face is that supposed to be like sunscreen or something like you know i don't that's a great point what is that or uh did a big moe leave something all over his face that little like stuffed figurine it's awful that would make children cry if you gave this to a child yeah yeah i really hate his face i hate it i really hate it i think i'm comfortable going pretty low i mean e we could even go f i could even go so i would say that e is just for like bad mascots and f are for ones that i hate and i think that i hate him okay i think that i agree actually next up is the hartford yard goats of course the i mean this is [ __ ] up get these things off my screen what the [ __ ] is this oh my god why would they do this this is horrifying every child in this stadium which i guess is like there's like two is crying they look like pinatas and i don't know if that's because of like the way they're colored or if it's because i want to beat the [ __ ] out of them with a bat horrifying this looks like a bad acid trip doesn't it yeah they're like so bright and colorful and i i really don't [ __ ] with that hey kids you like baseball that [ __ ] eating grin too and they probably do eat [ __ ] because they're goats hartford yard goats i mean i'm comfortable going bottom with this yeah yeah i hate them horrifying we still haven't had a nest here which is kind of interesting no i'm kind of surprised um i mean my heart is open i'm ready for a nest here to come into my life gonna be anything i think it's gonna be the uh lancing lug nuts i love this guy what's his name big lug his name's big lug does he have lug nuts for nostrils yep or is he just inhaling the lug nuts now they're stuck to his nose he kind of looks like a rapper a little bit like you know deciding he's actually kind of got a little swag you know he is actually so [ __ ] cool my one concession about him is uh there's a picture that shows him from the side and his huge [ __ ] lumpy tail that's horrible it looks like he's got like a big purple poop coming out of his butt or something all the time what does he have a sidekick i think he's got a sidekick kick big lug and ratchet dude okay i'm sold yeah i think we got to go ask for that next up we have the modesto nuts their names are shelly the pistachio wally the walnut and alva almond there's three of them oh yeah i thought that was bacon what if it was like the pistachio the walnut and then just the like the balls [Laughter] all your nuts right here there's just a scrotum okay so i guess this is like the new version he looks pretty cool there hmm he definitely looks more like an almond yeah uh you know i think there's you know the thing about three people being the mascot is that there are going to be some that are holding the team up and some that are you know pulling them down that's an excellent point yeah i feel like like c or d is fine we have nobody in d right now so just just for balance sake that's true yeah i guess you could say d's nuts [Music] okay next up we have the el paso chihuahuas i kind of like this guy my first thought was like i was worried about the health of this chihuahua like he just looks like look at his ears they're all chewed up look at his eye he's got like a scar he looks a little malnourished yeah this dog's been on the street for a while i think the inside of his pupils are red i don't know how that happens he also to me looks batshit insane yeah i think he's been on the streets for a little too long yeah i mean he like um he gets into trouble you know like he does not give a single [ __ ] like he'll just punch a player in the face and then like do a 360. on his own team yeah [ __ ] you you know yeah that'd be insane i would like to see that type of energy in a mascot they're all to be honest a little bit too friendly and fun and happy-go-lucky and supportive too yeah i'd like to see one that's not afraid to like scrap with the players start some [ __ ] like not even a fan of the team [Laughter] he's like getting a blow job in the back of the stands he's not even watching the game that's what i'm saying he's an actual badass yeah that's why i think he should go higher than the raccoons actually because this yeah yeah we got three more uh the hillsborough hops is this so hop looks like i don't know what a hop looks like yeah i have no idea what a hop looks like i've drank plenty of them oh i've definitely drinking a hop before oh yeah i mean give me some some cold liquid with some suds and some hops in it yeah i'm down in that sucker i honestly you know i drink so many hops that the the bartender's like hey do you want some beer with that hops yeah i just drink so many so many of the time uh yeah so i do anyway this guy sucks i really don't like him yeah he's just kind of like i mean i just don't really get it and i don't really care about hops so they were trying to go for something here like you know something kind of clever and you know something that the city's known for maybe they got a lot a lot of craft breweries or something but it's like oh yeah miss the mark completely when i think about hillsboro i do think about hops though yeah you know yeah hopping the [ __ ] out of there yeah uh i mean i'm cool going d to or maybe e what do you think ye uh yeah i'm i'm gonna say e for sure uh next up we got everett aqua socks what the [ __ ] is this why would you show me this you know what i think is really turning me off of this guy is his red eyes yeah it looks they're so nice it looks like he's been up for three weeks straight on like a meth binge he probably just reeks like cigarettes that's why his eyes are so red he's been smoking yeah i almost want to say i hate him but not quite not quite okay he could he could go and eat here okay and last but not least the jacksonville jumbo shrimp well a scampi there he is right there yeah his name's scampi i'm that i mean that looks like so many things but a shrimp definitely isn't one of them okay i'm glad we're on the same page because shrimp are not shrimp do not have long fur right yeah like it'd be one thing to just give him a fuzzy costume but this fur is like golden retriever fur it's like hanging off of him it doesn't make any sense yeah a free shrimp that makes me feel really weird why didn't they just dress him up like my dick you know oh do you get it yeah i'm sorry bud oh that's a bummer yeah that's a bummer of a joke yeah man dude i gotta hand it to you that's one of the saddest jokes i've ever heard [Laughter] you know in this case this is probably one of the only times i'd want to eat shrimp cake if you know what i'm talking about holy [ __ ] you know what i think i have to i think i have to agree with you though if you showed me this mascot and asked me to tell you what kind of thing it was shrimp would be the last thing i would say yeah so i mean it's it's pretty hilarious actually i actually think it's like it's a good thing that it looks nothing like what it's supposed to i think that's kind of like rebellious and dope well i'm you know what you're right and i didn't consider what if he did actually look like a shrimp and that would be so scary if there was like a giant giant shrimp with like all the [ __ ] coming like you know walking around yeah what's the verdict last one here i respect the design choices um and he does have quite an ass i think i could i think i could put him in b tier i think b i'm comfortable with b as well all right that's it that's our list that's it that was the last one i'm sure there are more minor league baseball teams but i think these are like the weirdest mascots okay well you know what i think that i learned a lot and i think i i might uh be i might pick up some tickets to go see some of these guys in person here let us know in the comments if you agree you know kind of light up the comments light up these comments like the raccoon bandit would light up the crowd at one of their games press the like button subscribe [ __ ] all right dude thanks i appreciate it hell yeah thanks for having me thanks for watching everyone go subscribe to danny uh but you already do you know he's hilarious and that's the only reason you're here baby it's because you're subscribed to me [Music] [Music] [Music] you

Channel: Cody Ko

Views: 1,919,447

Keywords: cody, cody ko, codyko

Id: KsNogv5KKho

Length: 24min 23sec (1463 seconds)

Published: Fri Sep 10 2021