r/AmITheA**hole For Trying To Take My Daughter's Money?

welcome to r slash am i the butthole where op shuts down an entitled family am i the butthole for shouting at my ex in front of my daughters i'm a 37 year old male and i have three girls 8 10 and 12. their mother walked out on us for another man when our youngest was around four my ex still stays in contact though and pays child support a few weeks ago while doing laundry i saw red spots on my oldest underwear i asked her if she knew about it and she cried and told me she tried to call her mom but my ex didn't call back she'd been stuffing toilet paper in her underwear hoping that would work i explained to her that periods are nothing to be ashamed of and found some great resources online for us to review together i took her to the store to pick out brands of feminine products she wanted to use after we were done i decided i should do the same thing with my other two my 12 year old volunteered to be a part of preparing them and we made a whole night of it it was wonderful and i learned a lot i even learned what a minstrel cup is and how they benefit the environment the other day my ex called back i'll usually arrange a video chat and leave the room so they can have some alone time and when they're done chatting i'll come back in to talk boring co-parenting stuff like school bills etc this last time my ex was furious with me for talking about periods with the girls she shouted at me that i was sick and perverted why didn't i call her myself if i knew it was so urgent i could have called one of their grandmas our aunts but my mom has dementia while her mom and sisters call me a loser because i teach kindergarten so i'm not fond of them my ex told me i was being immature and should have toughed it out for the girls this really pissed me off so i shouted back that maybe if she wasn't such a deadbeat and answered her freaking phone once in a while she could have handled this i brought up everything she does to hurt them she hasn't been to a single soccer game piano recital or gymnastics meet in two years every other weekend when they come home from her house they go straight to their rooms only to emerge hours later asking me why she loves her new husband more than them and what they did to make her leave my ex responded by saying i should tell them it's not their fault i couldn't satisfy her and i screamed f you and she just smirked and pointed behind me saying look what you did when i turned around my eight-year-old and 10 year old were standing in the doorway crying it broke my heart i never shout so i know i scared them my 12 year old stormed in and started screaming at her mom and while i appreciate her sticking up for me this is not a battle i want her fighting my ex hung up before i could fully de-escalate the situation and let's just say the girls have been given free reign of the ice cream and limitless hours of video games because i feel so bad i even watched all the twilight movies with them so don't say i don't love them but in this instance am i the butthole for shouting no op you are not the butthole here you get zero out of five buttholes you weren't being a butthole you were just being a normal human who had a weak moment in front of let's be honest a really terrible ex based on everything i read in this post you sound like a great father and have you considered the fact that maybe your girls were crying not because you were yelling but because they saw their mom insulting someone that they care about am i the butthole for asking my daughter to contribute to her siblings college funds i'm a 50 year old woman and i have three children a 30 year old woman a 17 year old boy and a 16 year old girl my oldest has a different father from the other two and was obviously fairly grown once her siblings were born i'll admit that during her teen years my oldest took on a lot of babysitting duties in the house i worked during the afternoons and evenings so she would pick up the babies from the daycare and watch them until i got home at night this unfortunately has led to my daughter and i having somewhat of a strained relationship as she's become an adult she told me that i used her as a second parent and it caused a lot of stress and stunted her social life during adolescence i know that i made mistakes as a mother during that time we were struggling financially and she always seemed eager to help with the babies but i shouldn't have taken advantage of her like that we've discussed it a lot in the years since and though we still have problems between us i like to think our relationship has made progress since graduating college my daughter has become a financial consultant with an excellent salary i'm incredibly proud of her and everything she's achieved as someone who myself never attended college and who's lived near the poverty line my entire life it's so rewarding to see my daughter move up in the world as my younger two children have been approaching college however i've been beginning to question how i'm possibly going to pay to put them through school in all likelihood they'll have to take out heavy student loans i'd like to avoid this if at all possible we all know how damaging student debt can be to young people i approached my oldest and asked her whether she might be willing to contribute somewhat to her siblings tuition i emphasized that she could absolutely say no or we could discuss the possibility of us paying her back over a period of years i said multiple times that i was only asking because i wanted to consider all options but if she wasn't comfortable with it i would drop it and look for alternatives my daughter became very upset with me she said that it was entirely inappropriate for me to ask and that the only reason i would ever consider asking is because i've always considered her a second parent rather than a child she said that my asking her for this has shown her that i've never learned from my parenting mistakes when she was a teenager but i really don't think it's the same thing like honestly she's rich she has the money i don't think it's absurd that i might ask her if she's willing to do me a favor for the sake of her siblings especially since i made it very clear i wouldn't be angry or upset if she said no thoughts op yes definitely you are the butthole when you said like honestly she's rich she's had the money that's basically the exact same attitude you had when she was a teenager like honestly she's a teenager she has the time personally i feel that one of the most important roles of a parent is to make sure that all of their kids feel equally loved and to be honest with the op this is an area where you've definitely failed so i'll give you three out of five buttholes because you definitely didn't learn from your previous mistake and your daughter has every right to be upset am i the butthole for walling off my backyard because i dislike two kids and depriving everyone else as a result i sure feel like the butthole but i don't think i am so help me out here i live in a non-english speaking european country and because of history that means land borders between properties are sometimes very weird well that's the case with my house and the neighbors all of our houses are about the same size yet out of all the land behind our houses my area is huge i own like 90 of all the land there reaching all the way back to the woods far behind our houses meanwhile each of my neighbors essentially has a tiny strip right behind their houses now the part right behind my house is fenced off yet the rest is pretty much open and my wife and daughters like to use it for gardening the field is used by most of the neighborhood boys to play soccer on as it's the only flat piece of grassland around they always ask for permission to use it beforehand and i always allow it on the condition that i get no complaints if i tell them to leave and they don't let her i also recently had a pool installed to the far back of my property and vince it off this is important later well this is where the issue starts recently a new family moved in and they seem to think it's public land i kept catching their kids running around through the flowers and vegetable garden and they even moved their grill onto the field and held a picnic on my land i keep telling them off and informing them that it's my land but they just ignore me and the kids sometimes won't leave when i tell them to a month ago the kids even climbed over the fence around the pool and when i got them out and went to their parents they just said oh we figured it was a public pool i had hoped that was the end of it yet these people built a fire pit in the three days that i was away from the house and when i got back i found it with a bunch of empty beer cans around that was the last draw for me and i hired a company owned by a buddy of mine from when i used to do construction work bought all the supplies and seven days later and a lot of money lighter my entire property was walled off and whenever anyone asked i told them why i was doing that and who they could thank for it well now the new family is treated as if they're a pest and all the neighborhood kids are gutted that they lost their football field which has resulted on them picking on the new neighbor's kids i honestly feel pretty terrible but i also feel like i gave them plenty of warnings before taking drastic actions nope op you get zero out of five buttholes they were being disrespectful and trespassing and when you set clear boundaries they violated those so i'd say your actions are 100 justified your property your rules am i the butthole for telling a social worker the real reason my sister wants a foster kid i'm a 28 year old female and i have a 36 year old sister for the sake of the story i'll just call her jane jane is married to bob and they have two kids a boy and a girl my niece and nephew are wonderful kids and no trouble at all they fight as siblings do but nothing big i love them now for about two years i did live with my sister it was a miserable time that really affected our relationship she saw me as free labor money and babysitting even when i managed to get a small part-time job she demanded i hand over nearly half of my pay or get out it was torture and she took complete advantage of me i moved out as soon as i could and we have little contact outside of family gatherings now after i moved out she started complaining how she has no help with the kids and never gets a break i babysit sometimes but i've made it clear just because i'm off work that doesn't mean i won an eight hour day with my niece and nephew anyway she started talking about how she wanted to foster a kid not a kid but a teenager i pressed her for more info on this she wants to adopt a teenager so she has a live-in babysitter for her kids this is her logic i want a kid around 16 or 17 you know someone who may have been in the system for a while they can share a room with your nephew or sleep in the garage they can help me with housework chores cook and help me with my business she bakes and sells cookies also babysit the kids so me and bob can go out sometimes or have some time alone they'll be so grateful for a home and won't complain i won't have to pay them at all and when they turn 18 i can just sign up for another foster kid a teenager will be so much easier than a little kid they'll be grateful just to have a roof food and siblings if they've been separated from their real ones and clothes i was horrified i told her it was a horrible idea but she didn't listen to me she went on with it anyway about a month ago a social worker showed up at my apartment to ask me some questions about my sister she had put me down as a character witness or something like that i immediately told the social worker why my sister really wanted to foster a kid and how she treated me when i lived with her the lady thanked me my sister called crying saying that she wouldn't be considered for any adoptions or fosters the social worker told her that they felt her home and her weren't a good fit they asked if i said anything and i told the truth she went off on me hung up and we haven't spoken since she sent me some angry texts a couple family members are on her side they think foster kids are effing dogs or something and would be happy to just have a roof and would gladly do all the housework so am i the butthole here so you're asking if you're you're asking if you're the butthole for putting a stop to the exploitation of free child labor no op you are not the butthole your sister on the other hand gets a full five out of five buttholes she's treating abandoned children like essentially slave labor am i the butthole for telling this college guy's mom [Laughter] that her coming into his interview cost him the job i'm a hiring manager at a tech company and i was hiring for summer internships a little while ago we had a guy about 19 years old applying for a summer internship between his freshman and sophomore years of college it was a virtual interview over zoom because of kovid a minute or two in when i was introducing myself his mom came in and introduced herself and started talking about her son's work ethic i thought it was a little strange i said something polite about wanting to hear from him she didn't get the hint and kept coming into camera frame during the interview and interrupting her son to answer questions for him i asked a few technical questions which he seemed to answer well and then cut the interview fairly short i thought that was all over and done with until i'd gotten an email from a woman a month later asking about her son's application she seemed offended he hadn't gotten an acceptance or rejection it bothered me i felt bad for this kid honestly way back when i was a teenager my mom used to pull the same stunts but luckily she only did that when i was 15 and working for a day camp not when i was an adult applying for engineering jobs but i felt like this poor kid was getting his chances ruined because his mom wasn't giving him the chance to apply on his own i sent an email back saying i wasn't at liberty to send information about an application to anybody but the applicant i also asked hr to send an email to the kid saying sorry but we were not making him an offer it's something we usually do but his rejection email must have slipped through the cracks with all the copic craziness anyway after we sent that i got a phone call from his mom she had a forwarded copy of the email and she was demanding answers i said that i couldn't comment on the guy's performance in the interview to her as she was not the applicant if he wanted to reach out to me i was happy to give him some feedback however i could say that regardless of his performance her presence in the interview took him out of consideration for the position we were looking for an independent and self-driven person for the position and for that reason it's important to see the applicants speak for themselves follow up themselves etc i also said that as a piece of advice every hiring manager i've met in my career who sees someone other than the applicant answering questions during an interview following up on the applicant's behalf etc would also put their resume on the do not hire pile since while the applicant may be skilled and motivated they need the ability to demonstrate those traits themselves she effing blew up at me over that kinda cussing me out to the point where i hung up am i the butthole for how i handled this maybe i should have kept my mouth shut way earlier god no op you are not the butthole and this has nothing to do with the mom's behavior in my opinion any hiring manager who actually bothers to communicate with applicants is automatically not the butthole i would gladly hear a rejection email with something like we didn't hire you because we don't like your face i mean sure that would hurt my feelings but that's still 10 times better than spending hours filling out online forms only to have the company never bother to contact you again op please don't let this woman turn you into another ghosting hiring manager i'll take negative feedback over no feedback any day of the week that was our slash am i the butthole and if you like this video then check out my podcast where i publish the exact same content also hit that subscribe button because i put out new reddit videos every single day

Channel: rSlash

Views: 664,963

Keywords: reddit, r/, rslash, r\, sub, subreddit, best of reddit, reddit top posts, top posts, top posts of all times, funniest posts, funny, comedy, funniest reddit posts, funny reddit posts, funny reddit, fails, cringe, prorevenge, r/prorevenge, prorevenge posts, prorevenge funny, prorevenge fails, pro revenge, funny pro revenge, amitheasshole, r/amitheasshole, amithebutthole, r/amithebutthole, aita, r/aita

Id: 8571srJXJYM

Length: 16min 2sec (962 seconds)

Published: Wed Aug 12 2020