r/AmITheA**Hole For Demanding My $4000 Back? (w/Updates)

g'day there guys it's marky back again with another episode of r slash am i the a-hole now today i want you to sit back relax enjoy the content chug up on the barbie and get ready for some bloody good stories posted by user roland road titled would i be the a-hole if i asked my ex to pay me back the money she owes me now that we've broken up so last month my ex who i've been dating for nearly a year broke up with me it was a complete blind side i thought everything was great and we were talking about getting an apartment together next year then we went to a party where she saw her most recent ex a few days later she told me that he talked to her that night and he said he realized how bad he screwed up when he saw her with another guy me he's now ready to give up his vices for her and she's sorry but she still loves him enough to want to give their relationship another try i was shocked and hurt as hell but what can i do i can't force her to stay i was miserable for weeks but now i just want to settle things and move on and one of the things that just need to be settled is the four thousand dollars that she owes me we never talked about how or when she would pay me back then all i thought of was that she was my girlfriend she needed the money for a valid reason and i had money to spare i wanted to take care of her problem because i wanted to take care of her i told her to pay me when she had the money and she had been paying me a couple hundred dollars every now and then i was fine with that because she was my girlfriend but it's not something i would do for everyone now that we're no longer together i've been thinking about asking her to pay me the foreground by the end of the year i know it sounds petty but honestly now that she's no longer with me and given the circumstances of our breakup i don't feel as inclined to be lenient to her with my money as i did before i also want a clean break so i can totally move on from all of this i don't like the idea that i'll still have some sort of communication or connection to her for the next few years if it takes that long for her to pay me i'm willing to listen and ready for your judgments i'm gonna come straight out of the gates and say he's not the a-hole for this one he deserves the money back she's an a-hole for doing that to him info it depends on how you plan to ask if you reach out in a calm and professional manner like hey i want to set up a repayment plan for the remaining xxx dollars borrowed can we talk about how to do this on a consistent basis i think you know she can't pay the whole amount back by the end of the month that's an unreasonable ask that is petty and not about getting your money back it's about getting back at her to actually accomplish getting your money back you will have to divorce your feelings from the breakup from the money and not be too personal nor to kurt otherwise it will become retaliation and legally you don't have a lot of options for recouping your loss your best bet is to be both kind and professional when asking for a plan for a payment make sure you have calculated exactly what she still owes as for continued contacts you can still do this impersonally through venmo or whatever there are apps that will allow you to send and receive money on a recurring basis without any real interaction thanks for the advice i appreciate all of it i was always going to approach her in a calm but firm manner because i don't plan to waste any of my time or effort on hating her or getting back at her i just want to be done with this and move on i know she can send me money online or through an app but i'd still get a notification and i'd still remember all of this that's the main reason why i want her to pay me by month end and not draw it out for years please try to get her to agree to the amount of the debt in writing somehow in case you end up in small claims courts texting is fine you could write something like hey i just want to figure out a repayment plan for the 4x dollars that you still owe me that way you have a dated confirmation of the debt if you have any other written communication about it hang on to it this is extremely important if she's smart and you go i want it back right now and she ignores you and you have no proof you're done tell her the amount and maybe working out a payment plan as long as she says anything but deny it it'll be favorable for you when you take this to courts let's be real you're going to court gee i i've never thought about any of this in my life it's never been a thought is anyone else learning anything from this today because i feel like i'm learning a lot not the a-hole but dude say goodbye to that money i hate myself for this but i know her and she's a good person who will pay back that debt the thing is you can never know when it comes to money i had a friendship end over money my best friend ended up in between a rock and a hard place and the decision she made ended up costing me hundreds of dollars she promised to pay me back she paid me part of it but now it's been almost two years since i have received anything or even heard from her i have no clue where she is or even if she's doing okay and i'm still out hundreds of dollars the point is you can think you know someone really well but when money is involved things change if it was just a couple hundred bucks i'd probably just suck it up and walk away dollars is quite a bit more i'd probably nicely ask then if she declined i'd go to small claims alone is alone even if it was all verbal but since it likely is verbal the statute of limitations is typically only two years so you'll want to try the nice approach first and then go down to the courthouse and file a claim if that fails your ex obviously doesn't have 4k and you're going to demand she pay you off in less than a month in december merry christmas i guess your plan sounds petty because it is setting up a formal payment plan is reasonable you're owed the money and you have a right to repayment and your ex no longer gets a family friends benefits but you would be the a-hole if you demanded payment in full asap for emotional reasons and especially when op said himself that he had no intention of making her pay it back until they broke up it just seems like he's trying to get revenge it's four thousand dollars though not some chump change it seems like opie wasn't expecting the breakup and figured there would be more than enough time to get paid in full revenge is one thing but opius literally owed this money they aren't baselessly demanding it i think casual potato 96 is stupid and they deserve the down votes they say that doesn't justify him demanding she pay him back in less than a month that's absolutely absurd and opie never explained why he thinks she owes him that much in the first place well when you lend someone money usually that's how much they owe you he keeps arguing this point too that makes me mad updates would i be the a-hole if i asked my ex to pay me back the money she owes me now that we've broken up hey reddit it's been a while here's an update to my post from a few months ago the general consensus was that i wouldn't be an a-hole to ask my ex to pay me back as long as i asked nicely but i was an idiot for lending her money and expecting that she would pay me back four grand at three weeks notice so i went ahead and called her and nicely asked if she could pay me back at the end of december because i just want a clean break so we can all move on she said she understood and she'll see what she can do i later learned that she had sold her car to her boyfriend who let her continue using the car in short i got paid and she kept the car she sold to pay me great ending for everyone but then a few weeks later she called me saying she wanted to talk she and her boyfriend went to my apartment and told me the craziest thing she's pregnant and with that i have accepted the fact that i will never get the clean break i wanted it's been three months since then we did the paternity test and confirmed that i'm the father she and her boyfriend is still together and he is in counselling as a sign of his commitment to her the main reason she left him before was that he had an alcohol problem that he couldn't control so i was concerned that she was staying with him while pregnant he assured me that he's turned over a new leaf for her and he will stay with her through this she says that things are great between them and he is completely sober now we all try to get along as best as we can for the baby when i made that post i never imagined that this would be the update i would be writing i never even thought that this would be how i have my first kid but what's done is done and at least we're on the same page about prioritizing the baby thanks for all the replies to my original post and wish me luck oh my god good on you op here's hoping that your ex's boyfriend doesn't relapse into alcoholism now that he has so much more pressure on him than he did before to be fair he seems totally dedicated to her and he's been nothing but nice to me so far even offered to help pay with the baby's bills if we need anything he said that losing her made him realize a lot of things and he's never going to let that happen again i'm glad that so far everything seems to be going well my advice to you however is to make the child support and custody official while it may seem like this would be poking a hornet's nest this is a way to protect both you and her it's easier to show paid child support when it goes through official channels and honestly if things do go very very badly this can provide an avenue for either of you to seek help through the court system i've known more than one person who wished that they would set this up ahead of time particularly when one parent moves out of state thanks we will we've talked about it with our lawyers when i lent her money before i didn't have anything in place and that could have gone bad i've learned from that what a rollercoaster it was i was happy i got my money back and even planned to book a vacation and then they told me about it and i don't know if i felt like pooping or throwing up i called my brother after they left because i felt lightheaded and was afraid i'd pass out it's a lot to take in best of luck with your co-parenting adventures i know some people who make it work with some very happy kids it's absolutely possible i don't know whether to congratulate you or feel bad for you on one hand you're a father you just created a new life and it might be a good thing on the long term creating a bond with your child and becoming hopefully a good and proud father on the other hand however it means that you won't be able to move on from her and you'll have to live with the fact that she's no longer with you and you won't be able to leave her behind because of that child it's complicated and tough i just wish the best of luck to you my man posted by chaotic ro456 titled would i be the a-hole for sowing my former friend five months ago roommate 120 female and myself 21 female moved into an apartment together after having been friends for roughly six years our third friend roommate 2 21 male signed the lease with us but was not able to move in right away roommate 1 had many issues and had never spent more than a few days away from home at a time i did not see this as a problem as i offered to take her to her parents place every weekend both our families live approximately five to ten minutes away this is where things rapidly began going downhill for that first month roommate one stopped talking to roommate too her reason being he isn't helping us with rent this cold shoulder left me to play the role of messenger when roommate 2 was able to move only the two of us made the 2-hour trip of getting his things roommate 1 stayed due to work and perhaps spites when we had gotten back roommate 2 and neighbor were in the middle of getting his mattress through the front door when roommate 1 told him point blank you need to get a job roommate 1 didn't even do anything to help move roommate 2's things she sat on a chair watching youtube on the front room tv so loudly it could clearly be heard from the hall we woke up one weekend to find a letter on the front door in short r1 had given us one week notice about her moving out she had left the note for us while she hid at her parents place for the weekend r1 had delegated her mother to sorting out the mess her daughter had caused with us and i expected her to behave like an adult and treat me with that same respect so we could all have closure over the event instead she would throw bile and half-assed insults at me on the day of the move i took the day off work just to make sure nothing bad happened i was met with glares but i sat and watched while they did the work i admit that small part would make me the a-hole but i felt justified doing it while the family moved everything r1 sat at the table with me and made calls to the utilities to pay the bills and cancel her accounts she didn't have much in her bank account since just after hanging out she lamented to her mother about how we can't go shoe shopping later like i wanted to i remember this clearly because of how angry it made me like you're crying over shoes while i'm trying to figure out how to pay the 687 dollars you've stuck with me then we chose this if she could walk in and sign the papers without her parents being in the building we wouldn't go to court if they did enter charges would be filed the day of office calls to let me know they are there before she is and asking about signing r1 off the lease in an odd way that had the poor staff confused once we had a moment i ask r1 what her parents were doing there she gets defensive and uses an excuse along the lines of they couldn't wait in the car that long besides it's not a big deal it's the middle of winter here and yes it was cold but 15 minutes in a car that should be warm from the drive not to mention idling not a problem would i be the a-hole here i'll say not the a-hole might sound odd but i'd say you and r2 would be on the safe side if you press charges so later if maybe some unforeseen stuff uncovers where you probably want to charge her the question won't come up why you didn't in the first place is she breaking a contract you had on the lease a one week notice seems really short to me and if all you have is i don't know a one year minimum lease and signed it together she can just leave without presenting you with a reasonable new tenant to cover her costs sorry for replying late we had signed a lease for one year and she left at the three month mark never even tried to find a third new roommate we had somewhat hoped that she would be more proactive as far as getting her name off the lease but that ended up being entirely something we had to do ourselves it took us so long mostly because we were so busy with our jobs as well as the fact that all our schedules only allow us to meet on mondays otherwise one or two of us would have to take a day off for a single five minute event i need to clarify you agreed that you would not charge her if she signed off the lease without the presence of her parents but then she showed up with her parents i think this is a very strange ultimatum and i don't understand how the involvement of her parents is relevant unless there's something i'm missing this part makes you an a-hole the fact she decided to move out so soon after signing elise with no reason and no notice makes her a big a-hole and you should charge her her share of the rent until you can find a replacement tenant so i think everyone sucks here info what do her parents being there have to do with anything it's still her signing the papers not her parents i had made that point to her mother during the harassment but i bet that went completely ignored i failed to make that apparent to roommate one i thought she'd at least have figured that out like i mentioned in a different reply i was not comfortable with the parents around as i was afraid they would do something far more drastic than just yelling insults to people half their age so asking that they remain outside the building was not that much of an issue okay this one really confuses my brain so let's see what the update says update would i be the a-hole for suing a former friend so after reviewing the comments on the post roommate 2 and i still want to go forward with suing roommate 1 however we got so busy with life that we never got around to submitting the court papers not a single thing had been communicated to roommate one about our plans since we had completely dropped contact with them some good news which is important to the aftermath i promise one month after roommate one left i was able to adopt a kitten from the shelter he and my other cat get along wonderfully then in february roommate 2 and i were able to save up and move out of the apartment and into a smaller unit that suits us much better we were both happy and recovering from all the garbage that had gone down in september october then last month i got a text from roommate1 in a nutshell the text contained their sob story of all that had happened to them in the two weeks leading up to that moment as well as an acknowledgement slash apology about how they treated us the sob story contained the loss of their father and their now mother was in the hospital likely not getting much better i understood that r1 was scared and unsure of what would be happening from there on however there were a multitude of reasons why r2 and i couldn't have helped even if we wanted to one we were now in the smaller unit meaning there was no space in room to put r1 into other than the living room sofa and we're all over 20 years old 2 roommate 1 has an emotional support animal a cat if we did let them back into the unit to stay on the couch the cat would come too our lease only allows two cats and neither roommate two or i would be willing to give away the cats the emotional support animal and my first cat did not ever get along three in the days spent going over how i wanted to respond i noticed that the verbiage used in the text was eerily similar to the previous texts from roommate one specifically when they were about to ask for money when i noticed that the rest of the text went from oh you poor thing wish there was something i could do to help into wait a second is roommate one using that to goad me into giving her money in the end my reply was kept too while i am sincerely sorry for what's happening to you roommate 2 and i are not in a position to help we hope it gets better and we hope you can get the help you need soon when i didn't get a response i figured i was right that roommate 1 just wanted money admittedly i felt like the a-hole for not even giving them a chance but we didn't want a repeat of the previous post thank you to everyone who commented on the post i still think the views shared helped delay the court proceedings in a way that allowed us to stop ourselves from rubbing salt into a wound if there's anything unclear about the post please let me know i'd be happy to fill in the details posted by user girl with no name 99 titled am i the a-hole my black friends saw me laughing at racist jokes in high school i got picked on by these two girls at my bus stop they would unzip my backpack so my books would fall out it got to the point where i had to carry my books they were so heavy every morning i dreaded going to school because i didn't want to deal with the embarrassment this black kid who lived a couple of houses down from me james offered to carry my books i was shy so i said no the day after i overthought everything i didn't want to be embarrassed by the girls or by james noticing my books so i put them in my bag i walked down the street and kept looking over my shoulder to make sure the two girls weren't sneaking up behind me i was an anxious mess i looked over my shoulder and saw james we made eye contact and i decided to stop looking he walked behind me every day sometimes i saw him waiting on his stoop for me to pass so he could walk behind me eventually we became friends and we walked side by side one day he wasn't sitting on his stoop when i passed his house so i walked to the bus stop alone one of the girls did something mean to me james walked up the street he asked what happened because he could tell by my expression i started to cry he knew that they did something to me and he yelled at them and basically told them to leave me alone forever i'm paraphrasing here he told me i'd be fine and calmed me down from that day forward neither of those two girls even looked in my direction i actually forgot they used to bully me after a while i got my license and i gave james a ride to school i started to date guys and to worry about hanging out with the cool kids so me and james didn't hang out as much one day at a football game i was hanging out with my boyfriend and our friends james stayed to watch the game also i told him earlier i'd give him a ride home after the game me and my friends were hanging out by my car my boyfriend asked if i was ready to leave when i told him i couldn't leave because i had to wait for james my bf said that guy is gonna take forever they are always late the rest of my friends started to say racist things about james and make racist jokes honestly they always said racist things but they were just words and i never engaged in saying racist things myself so that's how i justified it in my mind i told my boyfriend i was uncomfortable with his racist jokes one time and he told me to stop being a snowflake anyways my group of friends were making racist jokes i was laughing along when i noticed james was standing on the fence watching everything i looked at him and my heart felt like it stopped he had this look in his face of disappointment he left i hope i didn't hurt his feelings the next day i saw him in school and he didn't even look at me from that point on we didn't even speak to each other i just saw him at the grocery store i didn't say anything to him am i an a-hole how do i say sorry how do i make it up to him by the way i cut those racist friends out of my life i broke up with my ex-boyfriend and don't hang around with that group of people definitely you're the a-hole being complicit with racism is just as bad as being racist to yourself there's nothing you can do besides apologize but even then he probably won't forgive you also you're not a snowflake for speaking up you should get a new boyfriend and new friends i don't hang out with any of those people and i broke up with my ex after this situation you're the a-hole for tolerating racism for so long especially when the one black person you were close to was one of the best people in your life you owe james a letter of apology but you also have to understand he doesn't owe you forgiveness thanks you're the a-hole of course it hurt his feelings when you saw laughing at racist jokes i don't even know what the joke was supposed to be there it was looks like racist bs to me you'd rather participate in racism than be called a snowflake the consequence is that people are going to recognize you for the racist that you are someone who saw james as a person wouldn't think that sounded like a decent trade you're absolutely right although it was way more than just being called a snowflake there was so much peer pressure i don't know how to explain it i didn't like the things they said about me being a snowflake i can only imagine how james felt i get it people don't always do horrible things because they have an intrinsic desire to do them sometimes they do them because of peer pressure or because it feels easier or safer but at the end of the day those horrible things are just as done they still impact the world just as much the thing is as white people we get to pick and choose if we're going to get heat for being anti-racist if it feels uncomfortable or weird we can back down and go with the flow black people don't get to opt out like that i say this not to beat you up you seem genuinely upset about hurting james i say it to say that pressuring isn't a great excuse black people have been feeling the pressure of racism since we invented it it's not something that they can erase by going along as i'm sitting here reading all the comments i'm getting i'm understanding that more i have excuses as to why i didn't defend the one friend who defended me i kept justifying things because i didn't say racist things that made it okay i didn't want to be called silly words or looked at a certain way for how i acted when james got called names for just being a colour i have just been sitting here crying and feeling sorry for james and i wish i could fix it the way i feel now probably is how james felt a ton of times hearing the racist crap people would say to a black kid in a mostly white school i just am so sorry and wish i could take it all back updates am i the a-hole my black friend saw me laughing at racist jerks i went to james's house and asked if he could please talk to me he reluctantly did and i just apologized over and over and told him how sorry i was and how much of a bad friend i was i told him i had no excuse for not sticking up for the one friend that stuck up for me i promised him i've changed and will never be around those people like that again and will always call out racism no matter the situation i told him i would understand if he didn't accept me to be his friend anymore because he wasn't obligated to forgive me i told him i'd do anything to make it up to him and he said to just make sure i was loyal and never let racism around me ever again i offered to take him out to dinner tonight so i got my friend back thanks everyone for their advice g'day there guys outro marky here hope you enjoyed the episode as much as i enjoyed making it today uh if you did be sure to like comment and subscribe tell me what you thought about it down below also if you like memes be sure to head on over to my second channel marky2 it should be one of the sexy australian faces on screen the one without the flag it's my latest and greatest creation and i hope you like it also i'd like to give a huge shout out to my channel members and patreon subscribers you guys do so much good for me and the support goes without saying but i'm gonna say it anyway i love you guys and i appreciate all the help and support you provide me on this channel also if you want to join the family links are down in the description below or click that join button next to the subscribe button anyway guys i hope you enjoyed that one today i'll see you in the next one bye

Channel: Markee

Views: 25,132

Rating: 4.9090009 out of 5

Keywords: aita, amitheasshole, r/aita, r/amitheasshole, aita reddit, markee, markee reddit, markee aita, markee amitheasshole

Id: q69ggdoLjeg

Length: 26min 27sec (1587 seconds)

Published: Sat May 30 2020