Raise your Personal Standards - Dr. K. N. Jacob

[Music] raising the standard we live in a world governed by standards countries are standards standards by which the citizen I live and treat each other we have various measures of standards of living like per capita which is real income standards like access to and quality of health care income inequalities educational standards sanitation standards 7 o'clock in the evening I was attended or at airport on my way back home after some corporate engagement I couldn't believe how unusable that toilets were and I couldn't help remember at the Singapore Malaysian Buddha I went to the washrooms and I found something posted on the walls if unclean call and had given three numbers public toilets on the Singaporean side spot clean clean you see organizations of different standards performance standards human resource data started by Wheatley treat the employees customer focused on the service delivery standards and guess what customers never check your standards in your service chatter in your strategic plans or in your websites I took the Buddha to check the vision statement of Kenya Airport Authority a powerful vision statement globally competitive airport facilities and services but I felt like it's only in the website I went further than murder and check the core value six of them let me just pull out two of them for you customer focus and professionalism this these are the core values they are the heart the core of the organization I had the privilege of seen thousands of customers cleared by their respective Airport authorities in just a few moments and I've also stuck a Jomo Kenyatta International Airport for in excess of one and a half hours when we are just about two to three hundred passages coming back home and that has visiting us and I'm saying this because her door at airport is one of our four international airports airports at the first contact point the very first impression of our visitors have about our standards as a nation I knew Kenya possibility is not an isolated case where a stroke day is true for many public entities and I believe one primary reason we are here tonight is to challenge some of us who are here who in the public service and those who never listen to us through this video record it families of standards the people who have resolved and in our midst or they may have a listen to me someday that they have to dine together as a family we have to spend quality time together and switch other gadgets no interruptions no interferences we have to do some weekly dinner out together it's not about the cost is a standard they go for visiting days of their children if they have school going children it's non-negotiable church is non-negotiable their words that are not tolerable in this home there's a code of ethics I could have standards and decorum their husbands who go home late drunk daddy and jump into the bed without bathing their wives whose fourth day in day out is discussing about her husband with women who don't love them in the first place families have started wherever you go you are confronted by various classes and standard if you come from the countryside like me perhaps the first time you travel to the coast you went by bus or by train then you drove yourself in us in a private car then one day you flew then you realize that we have classes of planes and classes in planes and if you a frequent traveler and you've been doing business class or first class by now you're conscious of the father there is something else private jets and then classes of jets the first time you bought a phone if you have lived long enough like me when I bought a phone with all humility and to God glory or the only one in my class I was a third-year student who had a phone it had a long air you now the guy who leads our meetings he Accord arrest us used to fake phone calls cause we had no one to call and no one could call us nobody nobody we knew had a phone so he used to put Reena tone and people would think someone is calling us rosters can be quite interesting but but here's the thing we didn't care the kind of our food we had if you got a cow one day you're trusting God for a car now you're both at what type of a car when someone else is trusting God for a car there's a time you trusted God to get out of rentals you trust they go for a house now you're concerned with the neighborhood it's another puzzle we call either apart with concern with the house I mean we keep thinking about classes and standards hospitals have standards universities have standard roads and highways are standards taxis have stared at restaurants have standards you know you can get into a restaurant and even before you sit down you realize you don't belong there and there's no such a thing as a funny joint it is somebody else's standard you can get in a church admati they're true worshipers you realize you don't belong to the stud that of worship service and they all worship in God and I believe even God has talents he gave very specific standards of how his house should be built interesting that even priests have classes they are very high Rocco we have vicars and cannons and bishops Archbishop's Kadena's Pope well studied is not synonymous to class often than not their treatment you're given is commensurate to your class in other words you are treated according to your class you are classified according to your standard if you in private practice like myself and if I'd yourself invited to do assignments by blue chip organizations that could imply your study at a blue chip if you never get this invitation to blue chip companies you always get the low ed companies the leftovers then this meeting is critical it's important for us for you it's critical if you've been deliberate 20 years in an NGO in a commercial corporation in a government body during the lower hierarchy the lower cadiz the lower echelons of management that could employ your managerial skills are still in low standards industries are different studies by which business is operating you're willing to pay more for coffee at Java coffee house same milk same sugar same water same coffee beans but different standard of coffee ambience and service and even in your professional life how much you earn the command in your field and how much you earn your income depends on your personal and professional standard so this earlier this at this early stage of this presentation may I add you in your professional life learn to say no to some assignments learn to select some assignments carefree because some of them could literally be lower in your standard do not respond to every invitation you don't belong to every stage you see much as it is important to enhance your visibility and presence some of them could literally be loyal in your standards and I like to define personal started at this point from my definition of a personal Studdard it is a measure of the quality of your personal and professional life your personal standards are refracted by the way you treat yourself they really treat others and the way you expect others to treat you when you have a high personal standard you expect others to hold you in high regard when you have low self third you expect others not to treat you in high regard you take things as given you accept and allow others to walk all over you when you have a low pass on a standard you have a weak belief system and you can easily be influenced by anyone and any doctrine that comes along your way when you have a low substandard it's an indication you're suffering from low self-esteem and you see your personal studied is directly correlated with your level of self-esteem intricately intertwined with your level of self-esteem that means to raise your self-esteem raise your personal standards your personal studies are reflected whenever you talk and dress and manage your attitudes and relationships your work your health and your finances whenever you speak and talk everything you say and do provide people with insight into your personal standards within the first 60 seconds of someone meeting you they will already make a judgment about the status by which you live whether you're conscious about it or not you're always said in subliminal messages and you are being judged based on those messages by anyone you meet so I add you tonight never pre week take the center stage of your life if you sittin next to man look at him in his eye and tell him boy raise the standard if you see connector woman look at her and say go raise your bar I'll take you through some exciting lessons tonight there is no doubt in my mind I will sell the idea why you need to register that tonight so I'm gonna teach you some five lessons and the first lesson tonight reflect on your standards reflect on your standards lesson number two surround yourself with mentors lesson number three set your standards lesson number four develop a winning routine lesson number five and the last one go the extra mile go the extra mile lesson number one reflect on your personal standards another derek capita wanted to retire from his house building profession so he went to his employer the contractor and ted at his resignation then player looked at him and said i want to make a request could you just build one last house as a personal favor the carpenter didn't like it he resorted to poor workmanship adduced inferior materials at the end he invited his employer to inspect the project the housing project after inspecting the project the employer had at him over the front door keys and said this is my gift for you for the many years of service that you've worked so hard for me the carpenter couldn't believe it had he known for a moment that he was building his own house he would have given it some artistry finesse a new superior materials but this revealed his personal standards this reviewed who he really was under no supervision this revealed his attitude towards work and his employer isn't is true for many employees that provide our identity from our employers we define our standard from supervision in supervision was eliminating the true colors would literally come out we resigned long before we resign we get out of that job long the we get onto the door of that organization and we still wonder why we are not growing you see men and women of Greece traders who are they are dispensable they are not replaceable once they leave that organization it will be very difficult for anyone to squarely fit in their shoes I asked you tonight what is your standard as an employee what is your standard as an employer what is your standard as a husband as a wife as afraid as a mentor as a business partner to someone what is your standard is another seed if we gave you our mentorship certificate what did you studied as a mentor by hosted that do you live one media reason why a lot of people literally never achieved their goals in life is because there is a mismatch between their goals and their personal standards do you know you can look at a fellow like this and know you can let him even 10k there is a mismatch between what is borrowing and his personal Studdard and another guy can borrow you a million over the phone ad why are the money before you laugh at that guy could this be you that you are looking for a job and there is a mismatch between the job you are applying for and your personal standard this is a mismatch between the salary you're looking for and your personal standard there is a mismatch between the girl you want to date and your personal standard you come to me looking for my daughter Ivy and I immediately work very hard to get you another girl to distract you is it possible and therefore I urge you to begin to reflect deeply about your personal standards from this evening because refraction helps us to identify the missing link John Maxwell put it better than me he says experience is not the best teacher evaluated experience is to paraphrase him you can have a long wrong experience you can be married for that years but you don't qualify to invest in one on marriage because you've done it all wrong you can be in business for 20 years but you don't qualify to maintain on in business because at the end of the 20-year 40 are still a pauper you can have a long wrong experience refraction turns experience into insight I like to thin it this way unless you identify the missing link the passing of time will never alter your outcomes you'll be going round and round in circles is one of the most tragic things in this life is to reach the end of the road just to realize you are not enlisted for that race you ran the wrong race you cried and picked the wrong mountain you pursued the wrong career life is an uphill assignment why add friction even those of us who are free in our own purpose we have a lot of charities myriad of obstacles and barriers that we have got to overcome how much was is for you if you are flowing against your own gifts and talents again its own purpose that's what I'm asking life is an uphill assignment I repeat why swim again it's your own current if you followed me long enough you know I believe with every fiber of my being the beginning of the conversation is finding your purpose this is the very reason we started the cruises to take people through moments and days of connecting the purpose when area rates and people may never make it for the cruces we said we can do a crash program here locally called the 12 hours of transformation when we began we were doing men and women separatory we had a purpose-driven men and 70 women then we call them to one program not allowed those who are mingling and coupling to attend together and I had you you may want to pose to reflect and rethink whether you are flowing along your purpose in life let me ask you precisely what do you want out of this life what is your bottom line what legacy we really behind when you look at your future self what will have given you the fulfillment you are looking for if you find it very difficult to answer some of these questions imagine for once there were no limits and barriers there was no single barrier between you and your dream and your goals what would become of you what would you achieve it there are no barriers and no limits why because you are born knowing about someone began during Parramatta wars in your mind especially parents siblings elementary school teachers neighbors they began telling what you can or cannot do and eventually you believed it and you impose those limitations on yourself now you have already believed what you cannot can do and one of the challenges I'm doing tonight is tear down those fences and ask yourself for today achieve if for sure there were no limits there were no barriers why you will never get what you don't expect life doesn't give you what you want like gives you what you expect if you expect nothing out of life you will never be disappointed if you expect to be broke you'll never be disappointed if you expect to lose your job you'll never be disappointed if you expect to divorce you'll never be disappointed if you expect your business to fail you'll never be disappointed there's always a correlation or direct correlation between your expectations and your eventual reality so if you're not getting the results that you so desire I invite you to risk respect I invite you to solve such only expectations because believe me your current reality is a reflection of the expectations you may be a strong face but if we really want to know what you expect in life we just need to check the results in your life so let me suggest don't worry your expectations to meet your standards rather raise your personal standards to exceed your expectations don't lower your expectations to get a job or to get promoted don't compromise your moral standards for the sake of a job far too many people there were homey majority of people who cleared up the Capri trunk did so by raising their personal standards don't compromise your ethical standards to salvage your business from collapse a rope is as strong as its weakest point if I may paraphrase Martin Luther King jr. the arc of history bends towards justice if you and your business partners live long enough the man of integrity will be vindicated the woman of integrity will be vindicated don't compromise your moral study today are you tonight event to save a marriage you know we live in interesting times don't compromise your moral standards don't involve yourself in unnatural acts or couple swings or any other behavior that contravenes God's standards to save your marriage believe you me you'll be happier alone than with a morally rotten partner don't worry your moral standard because someone else has done so you know there are some couples that cheat on their partners because they are partners cheated on them that's chipping in yourself will you take poison because someone else has taken poison will you take poison and expect someone else to die don't lower your moral standards to attract a life partner I charge if you're single - single woman mitten it to me develop yourself professionally by that guy if you have to buy that home if you have to climb up the corporate rungs if you have to they will always be bootstrappers who are attracted by high fliers there'll always be go-getters who are trusted by high standards we call them coo hens that's a new tummy since 101 so don't compromise because you want to attract a life partner let them come where you are you see when you lawyer stir that you don't reach the other person standards you both Gulu apart in listening to my voice tonight don't worry your display standards to accommodate an errant child or a younger brother and younger sister sometimes you've got to allow someone to hit rock bottom for them to come back to their senses let me tell you this it took the prodigal son to dine with a sewing for him to come back to his senses go back home to his original stud at the standards of his father if you have wrestled with a child at in child or a young adult for too long in drug abuse alcohol and other moral aspect you struggle with your young brother you're a young sister for too long I dare you tonight cut loose your support systems let them hit rock bottom you can quote me study them from a distance observe them from a distance sometimes that they require someone to hit the ground is nowhere else they can go below for them to begin to raise their personal standards much about others by who stutters do you live who standard will you trust is it as a lab who keeps shifting their standards and their compass can I therefore invite you to live by a study that does not change I mean move above standard if you page mark with divine standards you'll never perform God you will never outgrow God's standards I add you tonight don't make God just your source of provision and protection but not the source of your standard if he is the source of your provision and security and support and protection it's also befitting it to be the source of your standards you know we live in times where people want to adjust God's values to fit their selfish preferences and fashions and a fallen nature of man so race you standard this takes me to our second lesson tonight surround yourself with mentors sometimes we never realize this an unsung hero in every celibacy not that I was born 29th or sceptre by the year two or seven with a heart problem four years later she was admitted at KGB Mission Hospital there are some cardiologists a couple married couple from the UK not operated on this girl's heart she was four years of age and they realized that this girl is missing a lot on school so they went the extra mile maybe just do like what doctors do the Dean just do what was expected of them they decided to take upon themselves to teach her what she's supposed to learn at that age so they began to teach her how to read and write and even told her you're not going to ask us for anything by speaking you've got to put it in writing so if you feel hungry write it down if you want medicine write it down that's how you're going to communicate and that's what brought out the writing talent out of this girl because someone saw the talent and decided to nurture it but then the mother took it a level higher she picked her books and went walking street by street one day she met a shoeshine guy cannot cobble Lovington this guy say look mama I don't have money to buy your books but I can give you something higher than that I shine the shoes of JFK Jeff Cohen anger and I'm going to give him your contact on these books and that's how they found themselves in JKL life and the rest as they say is history what touched me a lot on was talk to the mother is to realize there are some mentors we only celebrate in a ten-year-old girl and sometimes we never remember the unsung heroes the UK couple who did not desire me to disclose the names and the mother why Derek Irabu have the Liberator mentor this girl and every single day she journals of feelings she déjenos experiences now I wanna challenge you one of the reasons we struggle so much this part of the world is because we like someone to hold our hand and to show the way the average person in this hall who is about 35 years of age by that time they did not even know although I meant to do was steal second guessing the cosmetic it is still relatively new this part of the world element is like a rearguard they are not roadblocks they don't block you from flowing along the traffic but they ensure whenever the corners are too sharp you don't tip over the actors real gas to ensure whenever the corners are to shop you meet them there when you're able to move on your own the road is clear when it's a bit hard to negotiate then they are there for you so I suggest some 10 reasons why you need a mentor number one I meant I will show you the way they don't point you to places they have never been they first take the walk they take the journey and then they make the invitation they tell you how this is how things are being done why I mentor and mentor will share valuable experience experience cannot be purchased it can only be earned all shared I meant I will save you from yourself they will rescue you from self-destruction just like seeing a dentist in good time in save you from tooth decay Cinna maintained good time is save you from driving in the wrong direction for too long when I mentioned before a mentor can help Network you they can give you necessary connections you might take too long to get the right connections and sometimes we just need a mentor to ask them what do we do when we reach here you need to keep rowing questions to them where I mentor a life coach number five I meant I will help you connected your purpose in life so mentor will help you connect the dots between your deepest passions and interests and link them with your god-given talents and gifts the skills you have acquired body in a marketplace and in school just the ability to connect the dots with the resources at your disposal then you're able to harmonize your purpose in life to begin walk in a life of meaning a life of significance when I mentor a life coach number six a mentor is a trusted advisor so you can entrust them with proprietary information and intellectual property in a city like narrow B it is very hard to know who to trust the information because sometimes when you have a business idea and you share it someone even before you finish that cup of tea they have already implemented correct and they go explaining as though it is the original idea they say lady by the name Sylvia here there's junior Club she's there right there Sylvie one day came and shared with me an idea of doing a junior Club and when Wayne Egypt the kids had already suggested they want a junior club I didn't where to start and I regret to tell you so I listened with one here and the other a trusted God that information can get out because I'm not gifted in speaking to kids I found the solution when this lady came if you find Sylvia in my absence she can tell you I've never asked her for a single coin I'm supposed to ask her by the way it's my right you know when you go for a franchise you know what I'm saying because she's regional my Brad he says one more life club and the very first meeting she had over 170 kids that's not how I started do you know I'm saying I think that like that she was started writing on my a name she's supposed to pay me but I've never even told her what I'm say she theory now from the floor I've never even told her that whether they're supposed to be said entitled to me now honest VVC not a light note when I see this note when she shared with me the idea the next moment I thought how can this idea be implemented that I made it clear to her develop a special purpose vehicle which in other words is a company to run nothing because I'd like you to have the leeway to do so so you can entrust if I meant as a true mentor you can entrust them with property information and intellectual property because unless you discuss that idea you're not sure what is lacking in that idea and the minute ideas here somebody may not want to disclose for good reasons they are still incubation and the hyenas could be no middest now they're ones how should have already been implemented so yes you can entrust them with property information and intellectual property where a mental number seven a mentor is a trusted disciplinarian a sincere disprin area they will set boundaries for you that you may not be positioned to set for yourself and that's what I'm calling tonight standards they'll push you to a standard you not do it willingly I don't know how that Julie Julia check is in our midst is she here Oh Julie you here please would you stand this is sensitive but one day Julia gave me her financial goals were going through purpose and you don't have you don't have to be scared by her goals there's no competition that okay but after discuss with Julia she wanted to hit twenty million last year we were discussing at the beginning of a year and I told her that's a very good goal very big for many of us but that's not your goal Julia I refuse I'm not taking it and believe me she listened to me and she exceeded that goal I think Africa's miss good places for clapping thank you so much that is true I've met a number of year I tell you this is not your goal sometimes I win sometimes I lose sometimes when I push people they run away from me for good unless amended ship is a part but most times I mean why mentis number eight are you there mentis keep us on our toes lest you rest on the laurels they keep us on our toes lest we rest on the laurels they keep checking how are you doing and they do it out of love number nine mentis basta the confidence in us they help us see the hope on our inside the rock of a mentor is not to show you how big a goal it is the lack of a mentor is not to show you how much he has achieved the work of a mentor is to show you you what you can achieve what you're capable of doing if you see to the mentor whom for one hour is just discussing about his own achievements swap him up for a mentor who sees the hope on your inside can imagine going to a doctor the only thing is discussing is how healthy he is [Laughter] that time you're bedridden mister you know me I'm its kumamiki while you are still taking whiskey now that's not a message you need to listen on this particular point even if the person is giving you the hope on you inside doesn't make sense now button on the last one who I meant meant as a priceless they don't do it follow up a recharge when you come for training and some trainees are technical we never charge for our mentorship program and that's why I encourage you in your mosques in your tempest in your churches in your schools in your estates you know as a gated community we can launch my life journey program wherever you stay you can invite us mentorship is not for a pay coaches are paid and as they are right because in mentorship you don't tell people what to do you lead them in what to do so the only way you can pay a mentor is by you succeeding and you respecting their time and the structures they are put in place now some of you definitely have benefited by the father they have been enabled to reach me the whole of this year so far one name I need to meet to people one-on-one one of them is here and is I think it's good at disclose this here this is the reason we started my life journey program what you may not realize is that we get hundreds of inquiries so I beseech you I plead with you to honor the structures we have put in place for mentorship and that's my life journey program that time we interact closely because we also showed you that time for that purpose and when you're meeting a mentor I doesn't have to be me we have a couple of mentors in our midst when you're meeting a mentor please go ahead of time respect their time if they tell you to me the maternal clock be there by 9:30 let them know you respect that time if it was supposed to be one hour don't wait for them to send you away they are too shy for that begin to excuse yourself ten minutes to time so now they knew you respect their time don't go to parade how much you No why are you looking for them if you know that much go with a set of questions ask difficult questions not college questions not academic questions my real question that can help you in your life I always like telling you never be mentored by a loser make sure whoever meant as you embody what they tell you they should not be speaking one thing if you go to a health club and you realize that a guy who is good to training as an excess public opinion please leave it he doesn't believe what is doing you see you can only effectively teach her to consistently model the most effective way of inspiring others is bringing out the best out of your own life so make sure they model what you're looking for granted sometimes is difficult to get all these things of described in one individual you might be forced to have two or three mentors for example you might have a career mentor a financial mentor a relationship mentor what is critical is to be sure that the embody for the our mental renew to become if you able to get all these things in one person then you're very fortunate and that's the primary reason why I pushed myself in area that are not naturally my strengths like physical conditioning that the reason we are going to more Kenya to encourage you people this was the first time since on one life club weren't there to encourage the rest of you to go I did not know why we are doing this readiness for simple reason the moment to ignore for Monty nearing you will deliberately go for exercise you not be remember immediate allows you not come back home alive by the time we were reaching Shipton come 4200 breathing was a serious problem but because I don't want to relax next year I have no end road for motor Kilimanjaro in February so I teach on five areas the mental the relational the career the financial and the health and I try the best I can by God's grace to model all these five and that's what I challenge you if you able to get a mentor who epitomizes all these items go for that person warning never mentor someone who does subscribe to your authority jesus said my ship no my voice not everyone belongs to your ship ford guide someone to the extent they submit to your authority lesson number three set your standards there could be many standards we can discuss our de limit myself to for them the first one career standards you know what I do definitely I sit down to think critically what could touch and affect most of you every time I'm preparing a message so I mean not this list may not be exhaustive though I'll try to touch three areas I think a critical for us one of them is Korea it's in the interest of many of you to climb up along your career life and many of us Stillwater Hawaii some people climb up while majority do not and sometimes you feel like your victim the other young girl by the name Ruth after phone for a mother got a job in a restaurant huge 180 shoeless and then P BuzzFeed since the Schilling so much or she's saving twenty Bob true story what used to do in that place is just doing dishes and then the gods was able to graduate to a waitress in another hotel in the same neighborhood and has fairly dramatically increased to three thousand shillings per month they are still bus fare but that made had to be recognized by a corporate organization and they hired her and they give her to do the job she knew and thus fixing coffee so she was hired by Equity Bank as a t-girl stroke messenger but what many people are complaining about their salaries she found an opportunity she saw an opportunity and she began to work she became deliberate and for six years she began to read she began to enhance our personal brand working at a branch level seven years later as I speak with you right now Ruth Mooney is a regional manager with Equity Bank with many branch managers reporting to her at the age of 23 another Kenyan by the name Jim score a job every other person James unlike youth will had to get a degrees later James looked when he got this job he had a Bachelor of law degree and had done all the way to CPK when he was doing his bachelor's degree on the side he was pursuing CPAs people at his level were all looking for managerial job in fact all the guys who ain't in that company nobody had as much academic qualifications but here and there and bit everyone in interview by asking for something phenomenon I'm looking for a job to be failing I would just want to go to the store and be filing your documents you're looking at a lawyer come accountant and all he was to do here is to file and since no graduate wanted that job because of inhibitions I am a graduate there was an opening for someone to file little did they know that this young man wanted to study in details what was going on in this company he studied document after document one day there was a vacancy for a finance manager and he thought the craziest thing was for this guy who was failing things to go for that interview when James attended that interview he knew the answers mother the interviewers themselves finance manager shortly and thereafter he became the CEO of centum group he is that James Maria and Jim says this when he's been asked what the secret of your success two things humility and personal development I've been deliberate on my personal growth and development promotion is not a factor of how many years you afford some we're never complain up in here for that here so what the real question is the tangible difference you've made you grow up your copy trunk because of the value you add not how long you've worked not how old you are not your gender not your color artemiy tree is the value part this is someone they can't afford to lose the other cherries I said to you Razia stuttered deels Mario's deliberate for seven years today he's argued to be the highest-paid CEO well that's debatable the truth is the guys doing well I challenge you add value to yourself raise your standard you've decided to hide for six years adding value to herself right at the branch level James doesn't know everyone iniquity but be sure of this he knows youth by her name the second area you need to work on our core it your Brad standard your Brad stuttered this is one of the things that are very close to my heart because it is anything I've been very deliberate about is my Brad stuttered and this is all about managing your name I'll not see much here I'll invite you to go and check my videos on personal branding recruit yourself reinvent yourself this is a subjective spoken over and over again in different angles and and a close of this year I'll be hosting an open day at KCC around November December this will not be abyss a forum for entrepreneurs there will be a forum specifically for professionals in our OB just to go through this topic of personal branding there are charities you are paid according to the vajura tea here the deal when you deliver a table personal blood in you work less for more is it not true if we were to invite Churchill to be our emcee tonight on your bunny we will be willing to pay them an extra coin rather than your neighbor whom we don't know his name is it not true nobody is willing to experiment on his platform with the name that nobody knows except the grandmother nobody wants to do that people are willing to pay a higher price on an own blood the more you're not known the less you earn you've got to be deliberate about marketing your name managing your name never be proud that the only people who know you are your neighbors in Busia always in target always check the strength of your brand name but here is the deal as human beings we are wired to notice that which is different we are wired to notice someone dressed in red in a sea of black clothing if you look like everyone else in your field of operation your customers are likely to bypass you now I'm not discussing about how you're going to be superior than the others no personal bragging is not about superiority it's not how superior you are from the others it is how different you are you see what people are looking for is who is different because all the others look alike there is variance Cassity not so you pay more for diamonds and gold than for iron or rocks ordinary rocks whatever is real you pay for it more now a giraffe or a zebra they are far larger than a leopard or a cheetah but believe me if you go to kws they will tell you a cheat and a leopard have a higher value then a bigger animal like a zebra Hawaii they are rarer to see and when you go in the jungle if you like me I like hunting these animals I know the greatest really my life is looking for the cut I never ever go to the wildlife I know the people some of you who really like seeing the world with migration forgive me I'm a Kenyan but I'm never excited with the wildebeests it's okay I like seeing them but when I'm in Masai Mara all I'm looking for is a leopard or a cheetah why long voyage the Gator Masai Mara I've seen hundreds of wildebeests already loitering as President Kibaki would say cooler Girija let me maybe allow you to get into my life for a moment and give you one or two areas I chose to differentiate myself most of them you know them but maybe when I mentioned you will realize that's what attracts you to my life one I chose to have content and to have it in my fingertips to I chose not to repeat myself when I'm delivering in a talk and the reason you're not going to the washroom is because you don't know how to be safe next you realize if you go for five minutes you're going to miss a couple of items it is not a question of how superior you are from the others but how different and that's the question you need to answer you need to always intergate how am i different from the others in my particular field of operation thereby you begin to stop you begin anymore you stop pursuing success and success begins to pursue you that means your deliberate about how to post on social media don't play the same league with the others you deliberate at where you go in the public joints your deliberate in your public image wherever you go because blood is not about what you think about yourself is what others think about you it's about your reputation it's about people's perception about you and you can't demand people to like you you can't it's their prerogative so raise your blood standards Dudley just to look at the standards of our relationships I think the easiest thing to do is to start with a single ladies in our ministry the single ladies were listening to my voice tonight why beg follow for laughs why beg for what you entitled you see the average single woman always has another woman who she thinks is more beautiful than herself and I'm here to let you know if you're listening to my voice you're single woman listening to me tonight men are attracted by confident women when you're confident you are attractive your own self rejection turns people away your own self acceptance attracts people to you so stop him a Janine is someone who is better than you in their looks and begin to be confident in your body confident in your goals confident in your career birria don't be available for every meeting you invited refused to be anyone's after dots you know there's some men when they call the girlfriends and they are not available then they remember is a girl code layer refused to be somebody's after that if you are not a primary call let them go you begin to create some value on yourself refuse to get into low talks you know we live in interesting times we are feminists who try to persuade you that a woman needs a man just as much as a fish needs a bicycle now the feminist discussion and I challenge you if you start engage in that conversation note this some people speak out of their own failures out of their own bitterness and you always attract what you confess confession breeds position you always get what you expect don't get in that chip talk men are good isn't it yeah so stop doing that talk that I don't get married eventually becomes your reality instead go for gym don't do it alone go for Zumba go for aerobics go for yoga stretches it's important when you meet other people because you start spreading positive energy and you begin to activate endorphins they're feel-good hormones that begin attracting people to you you know whenever you are uptight you reject people if you always leave job and go for dates sometimes you exhibit very negative energy because of both our ask you and you take it to your date then this guy what does is this what I gonna live with for the rest of my life during that time you might want the initial dates you bring your best foot forward for the single men in our midst if you hear your single man you're not married I suggest tonight raise your standards if you attract a woman through your vulnerables you have to sustain do your valuables if your valuables get shaken your value gets shaken if you flush car keys among other valuables and expensive gadgets you have to sustain that relationship through finances when your job gets affected then your self-worth diminishes I suggest sell a higher value sell yourself sell a higher ideal and whenever you go out to date please remember this the woman is already suspicious you're looking her for sex they're already suspicious April woman was created by God suspect in every month including bishops they're already suspicious so if you're a young man don't play that leak don't play that law because they already expecting you to go that direction refuse to play the stutter decide you don't want just a body you own the entire package you do not have big things you want the whole package you want to convergence of your hopes and dreams and aspirations and purpose you want to discuss further things not just get involved emotionally because once you get hooked emotionally you quit emotionally you wanna go deeper than that and risa standard because the next thing if this day does not materialize she will look for a comic orgy of girls and tell them how you're looking for her and how she frustrated you why do you want to be embarrassed by playing the same league that every animal is did you know you don't need any tutorials to sleep with a woman god acidity nature every male animal knows how to sleep with his female counterpart so what are you selling what monkeys and dogs and cats know so something higher do you know when you start discussing big dreams you become attractive even sexually you will never even know where she's giving you your even refusing I'm telling you but you go sell insects she runs away from you and thinks boy when you get brains look for me now for the Mary manin omitted statistics that aesthetics are showing that almost 50% of all marriages on the verge of collapse or they already collapsed and anyone listening to me here whether you might know single the profile of many people failed in marriage is overwhelming is that true it I ask you tonight why ain't you a voice of a marriage when you can enjoy the most fascinating relationship ever invented who I call over a strange woman why cheat on your hobby when on a field trip abroad or elsewhere under your marriage in word and deed in God what indeed live your life in such a manner your marriage doesn't need to be ridiculed purpose after this meeting never again shall we discuss that other man that other woman men and women of high standards are Promise Keepers sleeping in your house girl your secretary the boy who delivers grocery at home your gardener visiting the red districts is too low a standard three-pin of your colleague your neighbor and a family fred is foolish and intolerable pacify your animalistic instincts by focusing on human values tell me wild passions by focusing on highest standards admittedly many of us have done gross mistakes in our trust but we can change your past but we can change our present and our future you must not be guilty about what I've said if you make you bitter enough about today and tomorrow not about yesterday the fourth video I wanted to look at is very complex it's called life standard I don't know three standards because there are too many so I would like to restrict myself to the limit myself to to color of people employers and public servants for the employers in our media please remember it is God was given you that real privilege treat your employees the way you'd want them to treat your finest customers every time you mistreat an employee they pass it on to your customers good measure pressed down shaken together and running over you know if I meet your secretary and she is insulting and abusive it doesn't tell me necessarily her character but the character of avos you know a lot of people believe custom-made the most important to the business that's not true employees are the most important people in business every great entrepreneur knows a simple secret you don't build a business you build people and then people leave the business one major difference between the rich and the poor the poor work very hard with your hands they're each work hard with your hands the real secret of succeeding in your business is your ability to gather your team to build your team the moment you realize that in that place there is very high staff turnover reexamine yourself because you're heading nowhere for the public officials in this place and those who never listen to me through this video recording I believe with all my heart if we focused on raising the standard of our procurement in this country will always procure the best we have and thereby raise our national stutters we will never reach our national standard so long as we compromise our procurement system I don't like to request you to do something really never do I like to honor one Kenyan is not in a minute but you never know whether he may be listening to this video one day and that's dr. Patrick Goga Georgia the central bank of Kenya governor as at 2018 for refusing to be compromised for being an eyelid of righteousness in a sea of corruption for refusing to have a price tag at the expense of millions of taxpayers please one day governor Diaby will listen to us would you join me and we just give him a hand thank you we honor you we salute you and many of us perhaps give up and think everyone else is doing it no you just need to check what you're doing ladies and gentlemen your personal standards begin with your thought system and your working vocabulary now last year August someone gave me a ride from Coventry to London a senior military official in the Royal Army now a few miles after we joined m1 motorway he drew in the negative F word and I challenged the instantly to either drop the word or drop me you see I see this with a lot of humility I don't want to beg for what I can afford I didn't ask him for a ride what other reason also strict on him he was in my meeting and that's when Atlanta was heading for London so he knew my stutter that I mean if I don't challenge him I'll be lowering my standard to it my deteriorate I don't know what else you'd be speaking by the time I reach London and I'll be telling me it's alright to speak like that in my presence gracious tree he apologized profusely and when he did so I decided to extend an olive branch by suggesting to him a number of positive efforts in my work in vocabulary and I told him I can share with you some effort that I have like fun and fresh and faith and fabulous and fantastic and fascinating and family and fatherly and favor and I convinced him there are many positive efforts I repeat we can't exhaust the number of life standards but let me say this if you are motorists and you're listening to me don't harass the matter to guy don't go at your level if we all reserve Studdard they will if we are docked and you're listening to me you are serving God in that hospital life is in your hands read by a higher standard stop rushing after 20 patient for the sake of money if you are teacher schoolteacher a lecturer who never listened to us give you all power your life in the lives of these students if you've been entrusted with security for this country especially if you know our Buddha points every time you compromise your standards you risk the security of the whole nation and your own security and the security of your children's children just because you compromise your standard and nation bans if you have super you've been given one Street in Nairobi don't worry about with clean up easily and adora clean up the streets you've been given let them study here rather than the governor taking people to Kigali they can bring them to your street and study how it can be clean whatever your hand finds to do do it with all your might finish that college degree that you started finish that job assignment visit the distressed visit the prisoners visit the sick raise your standards of giving don't throw away sense and current economic and difference in someone else's life make the days of your life count raise your personal standard do you remember lesson number four what is it develop a winning routine now the word routine said shonda's and shivers down the spines of sanguines for some greens routines the Jeff a strict day with no fun no free time and no spontaneity boring life yet with those standards that would be messy and chaotic God is a God of order routine and standard he established the earth to rotate around its own axis every 24 hours and to revolve around the Sun every 365 days this it is six inner appear suppose you're not sure tomorrow we rise not suppose for a fact there are no routines there are no standards if there were no duties did you know who not be here tonight you're here simple because you can predict we meet the first Friday of every month six to eight if since on one life committee it was poor running and everybody came here in the suspected the Spirit is telling him dr. Kennedy you be in the hall would we be having this meeting suppose we cannot predict the gas station period of a mother so some others carry a child to completion for four months and others carried a pregnancy for 24 months how will us how we have paternity leave as far as life has to are some standards for the seguin see no Mideast let me suggest this now having a routine does not mean resistant to change it doesn't mean being progressive in an orderly manner that's not for the rest of us it's only for sanguines because they think routine is resistant to change life should be spontaneity and I suggest to you having rituals and routines and patterns and it has been progressive in an orderly manner so I like to request you to rethink about your rituals I'd like to suggest you develop some rituals you do it so repetitious free not it to be as effortless for you just as brushing your teeth you see ladies and gentlemen it takes 60 days to reprogram your mind in other words to install a new habit I know back in those days in them days we were taught about 21 days and I can tell you it takes about 66 days and once you take 66 days to develop a new habit this is the good news you don't have to keep the habit the habit keeps you see a habit of the cable every day you live a dread every day you weave a thread ultimately you can't break it the chains of a habit are too weak to be realized until they are too strong to be broken you will never change your life until you get something that you do daily change is a daily conversation so whether you are a morning person or a night owl whichever the case at some point you start your day and that's the place I want us to check how you start off your day this is my suggestion for you tonight when you raise up in the morning before doing anything else project into the evening when you'll be sleeping returning on your bed before you do anything else try to project into the evening and speak to yourself loudly if you can you're projecting only about 12 hours in advance and speak to yourself today has been a very successful day I'm tremendously fulfilled I'm excited about what I've been able to accomplish the day to day then get out of bed and do exactly that if you are there in January I taught you plan every day the night before you see the mystic most of you do the moment you wake up you switch on your phone without realising that sets you up to other people's priorities and set you on a reactive mode if I go to was up early in the morning the first thing I wake up in the morning and there are 20 guys who've drawn for me some hose ups some of them require me to respond others are just and funny things immediately you made is not orderly your mind is not organized seriously speaking that's not a thing to touch her in the morning unless you're looking for my daily articles here's the deal which still I suggest do something spelling on paper and book in his commencement address at Stanford University at two zero zero five the late Steve Jobs hits on the phenomenon when I wake up in the morning I look at myself straight in the mirror and I ask myself this question if today was my last day in life would I want to do what I'm about to do right now and for too many days in a row when the answer was no I knew there was something that I needed to change and of good would asking yourself such a similar such a question have a profound impact on your days perspective think about that there are many rituals you can do every day let me propose for each was that you need to think about just four reaches the first one perhaps the most important finish your day's agenda if I ask you what's imperative for you many of you tell me my health my children my family my profession my career my finances but as a mentor if I really want to know how it's important to you you don't need to tell me I just need to check your schedule what get schedule gets done if I really need to check what you value I only need to check you this program you know many of us don't think it's so serious just to skip a day's agenda a day's objective in this book to day matters John Maxwell says what you don't do today you spare tomorrow repairing how true that is as a rule in this club never ever ever go to sleep until you finish your agenda for today you like you to hear this no less than ten times this year our repeated our impress it in you if you must remember one thing for this year it is that one message you know one of my most favorite scriptures a Deuteronomy 6:4 through nine and when God was speaking to Moses he didn't tell him to talk to his children here though I am using right now impress repeated day-in day-out when they wake up by the roadside during dinner when they sleep in fact took these swats on their wrists on their forehead on the door frames repeat Catholics Corot catechism Muslims call it madalasa you must have a way of indoctrinating yourself into the values that will work for you if you don't have them your children will not be holding the same values you have so charge you they say I repeat this message over and over again you had already set you study what you're going to do today because you must not decide what you are doing today when the day has started because you're going to adjust your agenda conveniently if you're in insurance and your salesperson entity gets rainy you may decide I'm not going to destroy area there is so much traffic but if you had already decided and might before so I repeat plan every week the weekend before plan each day the night before then never ever ever sleep until you tick every item on your to-do list no we're exiting about this thing it is God's will what are you talking about it's God's will for you to finish our project don't ruin such a thing there if it's God's you know I'm going to see that client Shindo in the second ritual the second route we need to develop read daily you know most of us read I'll do we add a punishment the reading I'm talking about here is keeping yourself a lot that book that I launched last month you know a long to go to people knowing when I announced the book he have launched it I used to do serious launches a while ago when books begin to be more and more then you make the ceremony very and ceremonious typically position yourself I told you this last month take 30 days just read a chapter per day the whole idea is to keep yourself a lot the idea is not to finish the book the idea is to keep yourself a lot feed your mental we make a great roof for skipping just one lunch I'd you let the entire state know oh my god today I never had lunch you talk everywhere everybody knows you didn't have lunch but you never feel anything funny by not feeding you made the whole month you rushed to hospital that's latest too thick but you had to take care of your mental goals and I keep asking you would you go to a dog time the doctor says one medicine in the morning lunch hour even in for seven days and then you do a quick math three times seven equals 21 why all these seven days doc I'm sorry in the 21 eat a dessert does it what I got why eat the whole week I want to have all my sixth chapatis right now so that I can have some free time the rest of the day it doesn't work like that is a daily conversation feed you made daily now that which you need to be careful about is your spiritual three everyday the greatest achievers in this life are people connect with the divine and most Kenyans pray on their way to work in a Matata in a car because God is one of the items to do you know what are they called a obese and here's the deal if you do not exercise and you continue to feed you might you'll be physically weak and you're not going to carry your same into completion because your might body and spirit if you exercise and you don't feed your might you'll be physically strong but thoughtless mindless if you feed your might and exercise and take on the right diet you'll be physically strong mentally strong you will have knowledge but not wisdom because wisdom is God wisdom is God wisdom does not just come from God wisdom is God so 3 connect with the divine and the four ritual I want to suggest to you play ple why the object of all human life is play there's a child in every man in a plateau seed you learn someone in one hour of play more than an entire ear of conversation you didn't stop playing because you're old you got all because you stopped playing on average men are more playful than women so this is a message for women right now the average man who can play pool or cards or bicycle or at home children would be all over you on your shoulders telling you to be a horse to carry them the average lady becomes a mama overnight Otterbein married these are so serious suddenly then you walk with your husband and people wonder whether this is the mother why you stopped play if you sittin next to a woman please talk to her on my behalf and tell her gal lose it up live it up let me tell you what I found out when I play Monopoly with my two children Z and IV I get to know their actual Hobbiton character more than when you're just talking because that game of Monopoly is very interesting because they were balloons to have a lot of money a lot of worth a lot of property and at the time I knew who was to cheat and not test you exactly what they do elsewhere in my absence lesson number five and the last one go the extra mile I read of a story's not original with me but for the purposes of narrating the story to make it Drizzy Arlen personified to be the passenger that was carried by that cab driver so imagine I'm the one that's not me I'm just in personified neither okay so I was in Dubai and I met this cab driver who was shop redressed freshly ironed slacks black slacks white shirt a black tie he came and greeted me and looked at me and said my name is Abdi I'm going to be your taxi driver as I put your box in a trunk I want to give you a cut that was laminated very neatly I looked at it it was written his mission statement the mission statement red my job is to deliver my customers in the safest quickest and cheapest manner in a further environment to their destination that call me back I never experienced that before and when Abdi got into the car he told me I have an air-conditioned room right here what is your preferred temperature you comfortable the temperature and then I said I'd like to discuss with you the best route to your destination before we drive off before doing that I have some coffee here regular and beaker which one do you want I said look I don't want anything hot I want a cold drink no problem I have regular coke after it cook I have what I have or reduce and 1/2 plus e so to tease him I wanted to I asked for lassi to see whether he really had it and the guy gave me the lassi there are two that he gave me another card and see they have an array of music stations here radio stations in case you like me to pray for you some songs pre-select meanwhile I have the stuff and there's sometimes whichever news people you like to read I'll be pleased to explain to you these wonderful destinations in Dubai if you so like but if you want me to leave you to have your own silence and quiet moments and your own thoughts I'm most okay to do so the guy borrowed his safety belt and we began to drive now that surprised me and I asked him Abdi have you always been like that the guy said no as a matter of art only the last two years my first five years a complain like any other cabbie I mean I had a bad day then one day someone fought it to me a YouTube from a Kenyan speaker that was talking about expectations you followed me and the guys say Dolores get what you expect you expect to have a bad customer you get a bad customer you expect to have a bad day you get a bad day and that hit me real hard I realized was talking about me and I chose I'll never complain again and I began working on my car and the more I did so bit by bit small bit customers started to appreciate then I would improve another area that's when I realized the other cars were dirty their drivers was sort of angry and the customers were unsatisfied so I asked him so has it paid off of course it has last year I doubled my income and in Oracle hood this particular year I'm going to quadruple my incomes Abdi realized by changing his standard his happiness headaches went up his attraction level went up his incomes went up I hear it's a true story and I want to tell you this go the extra mile and this is the reason very few people go the extra mile very few people enroll for the extra mile most people do what is expected of them what is required of them you can ever achieve greatness by doing what is required of you Society is the domain of the masses don't lower your standards to meet society's expectations and norms when you begin to read your studies you're going to rub some people showed out the wrong way they are going to say you want both to notice you they are going to say you're pretending but don't worry about that you'll attract others you repair others you actually attracting repairing new keynesian when they complain you're raising a standard please remember my words every revolutionary was first resented before they were celebrated when Martin Luther King jr. began his Crusades the very church that ordained him at the initial stage of the protests were about to excommunicate him before finally the revered him as a hero they didn't like the father he observed equilibrium the relative tranquility behead the Negroes had settled for us lowest standard second-class citizen Lee when you begin causing change you're going to rub showed us the wrong way but do it anyhow go that extra mile don't do what is expected of you that's what they are getting from everyone else they live a beautiful nice leave them wondering what it takes you to deliver half no much in your field in your lifetime have no replica let them never fade your clone let them never fight you wherever you go be peerless much less unequal and labored and purged the truth is were they getting a restaurant or a boutique or in a cab or in a hospital or in a school you always get what you expect or less than what you expect so you have a stunning opportunity to stand out by just going the extra mile now the real difference between satisfactory performance and absorption of performance is that extra mile where you reserved not maybe not perhaps now I went to a barbershop before coming here how's that they requested for a glass of water classic place by the time I left there was no glass of water and the lady who was washing me after the guy who worked on my beard though she has been a lot of good things by washing me that time wondering goodness you just didn't hear me three times ask for a glass of water very few people give you what you expect they go below standard then a few just what you expect what happens when you go build what they expect you stand out as you walk out this journey don't be the identity on what you do not want dude your identity on what you want you see a lot of people build identity on hold a doorman for example someone else to stop smoking and they say well I've always been a smoker does there it is in my life that's who I am no that's not who you are you're fighting your identity unforced identity and identity understand that you acquired the haricot you need to recapture your original standard where I'm always lose temper they lose my cool and as I've been losing my jobs that's not true that's not who you are that's a false identity and you always act consistent with a identity you build around yourself so begin to be the identity on what you want not what you do not want I like to leave you with some two dots comparing yourself with other people standards is a dangerous game often than not you'll be comparing yourself with people of lower standard and they're going to lower your standard compare yourself with your best self always compare yourself with a past or rather the previous version of yourself and I don't just like the previous version of yourself the best previous version of yourself this is a mathematical quantity that measures the extent to which an individual or members of a group deviate from the normal population to what extent they deviate from centrality we call it the standard deviation well I want to propose tonight if you've got to de'vide from the normal from the masses you see a lot of people are average and a lot has been written about the enemy called average and that's why they lead an ordinary life if you go to the veer from that do it significantly don't get by a standard measure be an outlier always set the new norms for people and before the crowds and the mass is gather on the new normal disrupt yourself and set another stuttered life is about recreating yourself by reaching your standard to a higher level finally sometimes you may be raising your standards this is sensitive then you realize you're not growing at a pace you desire you've done everything humanly possible if that describes you you're listening to me here tonight you've been deliberate about your personal stutter but you're not moving at a pace of you're like in a day are you tonight should other stars take a sabbatical leave and reach out for those lofty standards while building supportive rituals during your leave of work go for your entire dream full-scale if you play life to save you might die wondering see the reality is you will never admit you find out what you're capable of doing you'll never truly find out your worth until once in a while you risk it all when you take such risks if you win you'll be happy if you lose you be wiser so close with the words of Martin Luther King jr. the real measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience but where he stands in terms of challenge and controversy thank you very much and God bless you [Applause]

Channel: Dr. K. N. Jacob

Views: 235,057

Keywords: setting standards, setting goals, managing expectations, raising expectations, best motivational speaker in Africa, most inspiring speaker of all times, best conference speaker ever

Id: kpWpiVGetV0

Length: 83min 19sec (4999 seconds)

Published: Thu Sep 06 2018