Questions That Will Blow Your Mind - Deon Cole

I'm a deep thinker you know I like to do think real deep smoke some playback let my mind take off I'd be thinking about stuff people don't know about people ain't even thinking about like for example why isn't it any be batteries while they know be matters but they tripled up on the A's both the beast man for black battery and no black batteries around nah if there was black batteries I wouldn't use them it probably a work sometimes [ __ ] y'all a Silurian tryin to be our pro blackness we don't talk that way in DC bi you can go back to Chicago with all your [ __ ] lling ways we don't do that here I get deep I'm a deep dude here's another example how deep I get Adam and Eve they do very first people on the planet Earth right right so I'm looking at a picture their mother day both of them naked and I noticed they both had navels belly buttons Wow who cut the umbilical cord you ever be with a woman you have to drop off at home you pull up to her house you gotta wait until she get out the car walk up the gangway get to the door and put the key in the door turn it then she leans back and does this and then you supposed to pull off right stupidest [ __ ] over every time I pull off I can't help but to think I wonders the murderer inside the house it's just not a lot of porch killings I would think he would be in a house like the rest of the murderer's do my son asked me to buy him some beats by dre headphones I'm gonna price them boys a [ __ ] $400 my guy got no beats by soldier boy [Applause] there should be about $20 tonight I know MC Hammer beats they're not like that that treat yourself better y'all you got one life treat yourself better you know got to start doing things better than he's got treat you just one life you gotta gotta treat a good you know some of y'all dealing with obesity your whole life you ain't got to deal with that with your whole life your whole life no ok small once in your lifetime just see how I feel before you die just see I fit go shopping get you some new clothes just man don't be big your whole entire life get small ones ok stop eating that [ __ ] stop eating that [ __ ] you know how it tastes you know how it takes it's delicious and it's gonna be delicious now you stop eating that [ __ ] keep eating it I let me see if you're still delicious yes it is this white dude I know ask me ask me if I have a duh free-range chicken house like what the hell is that oh you're gonna love it it's these comfortable carefree chickens and they roam around freely wherever they want to roam they from wherever they eat healthy and they die in a humane way you're gonna love them I want in price time well [ __ ] some [ __ ] with expensive is hair like now imma keep eating these overwhelmed chickens these stressed out anxiety choke I like these claustrophobic chickens [Applause] I learned black Eva don't know a lot of white actresses actors at all like we know all the old-school ones but we don't know none of the new white celebrities actors and stuff if you want black people to know like a new white celebrity you got to tell us what movie they was in and what they did in the movie we all know the names like like back in the day you know everybody night John Travolta Harris before we all know nobody named now you know I just write for Conan I remember when a lot of people used to think like me writing for Conan all my friends used to love to come to the show but they would never know who none of the white guests was my friend to be like yo D I want to come to the show today man you got some tickets I'm like yeah who you got on the show oh we got a good show Davey got a Christian Bale who's that my Christian Bale Batman what are you doing Batman [ __ ] she was Batman oh okay alright oh yeah that's my man that's my man that's my man that's my man yeah yeah he cracks me up he's hilarious no he's not [ __ ] you

Channel: Comedy Central Stand-Up

Views: 5,845,877

Keywords: Deon Cole, Cole Blooded Seminar, Deon Cole comedian, Deon Cole stand up, stand up comedy, comedy central stand up, comedy, comedians, comedian, deep thinker, batteries, B batteries, black people, racism, Adam and Eve, belly button, murder, dating, murderer, headphones, Dr. Dre, Beats by Dre, Soulja Boy, food, eating, free- range chicken, white people, obesity, healthy, celebrities, Conan, Christian Bale, Batman, funny, comedy videos

Id: BWnwBX_fxMk

Length: 7min 2sec (422 seconds)

Published: Sat Aug 03 2019

Reddit Comments

[u/zk3033]

I remember Conan and Deon going to that soul food place, and Conan getting extra extra gravy.

Good times. Great to see comedic talent coming from that show. I wonder if we’ll see the lineage of Conan talent in the future (arguably, we already are) like Colbert talks about Robert Smigol days.

[u/Justin6512]

The Conan part is at 5:58 in the video.

[u/TJ_McWeaksauce]

Deon makes a joke about obesity, and the camera immediately finds a couple of obese people in the audience. As if I need a reminder of what a fat person looks like.

Even Deon's cameramen are vicious.

[u/NanoPope]

I love Deon Cole! I’m so happy for his success.