Putin: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (HBO)

Russia the country that gave the world's tetris merkins you wear on your heads and potentially the 45th President of the United States now Russia was at the center of a major development in the u.s. this week Michael Flynn resigning as the u.s. national security advisor this coming after reports that the Justice Department warned he could be vulnerable to blackmail over communications he had with the Russian ambassador okay that's it everyone check you office pools because if you had communication with Russia as the reason the first member of Trump in a circle resigned you win that's a shame because no money was on never set foot in a public school or president can't stop see melissa mccarthy whenever you speak but interestingly the plata debacle is just the tip of the iceberg regarding the trump administration and russia there were accusations swirling around two people involved in his campaign Paul Manafort and Carter page there's this strong evidence that Russia hacks the DNC's emails to influence the election and then there's of course the infamous leaked dossier alleging serious connections between Trump and his associates and Russia or as you undoubtedly remember it the thing about the urine fetish Moscow sex party and look there is no hard proof yet of direct links between Trump himself and Russia but he does have a weird noticeably soft spot for both the country and its leader I was in Moscow recently and I spoke indirectly and directly with President Putin who could not have been nicer Hooten even sent me a present beautiful president with a beautiful note by the way it would be great if we could get along with Russia just so you understand that that tomorrow you'll say Donald Trump wants to get along with Russia this is terrible it's not terrible it's good yeah I'm not saying it's terrible I'm also not saying it's good though I'm saying it's a bit weird you've been objectively nicer to Vladimir Putin when you have to Meryl Streep who I'm pretty sure is not an infamous autocrat although you know what now I say it if you try to achieve nail it the woman is a sport the poison Sun is fixated on getting along better with Russia so tonight we thought we'd ask what does that actually mean what other chances of it happening and what might we give up in the process and I know that over here we think of Putin as a cartoon character who staged his photo ops where he's shirtless on a horse or swimming like a dolphin when emerging from the sea like a Bond villain or wearing a old winning a staring contest with a baby chick or quite possibly breaking a child's arm but but in Russia he's not some comic book villain too many he's a comic book hero he is genuinely popular there for years he's even had his own pop song [Music] Ransome have been stuck in my head always and I don't even sleep Russian it it's called a man like Putin and it's all about how women want someone like him or don't just think about that for a second because that means they want a man in his 60s who have thinning hair and it was probably about five foot five so the manliest thing they want is essentially Richard Dreyfuss but mean and you'll ask for all those photo ops what you'd really be surprised how many Russians look at those and take them at face value earlier this year Beauty miraculously recovered two ancient values from the bottom of the ocean fortunately cameras were on hand to capture this historic moment never was fighting Naga religious prescribed sea Moloch from ahoy to the dirt en authorities glass made interesting the poisonous by Denali at the ocean version it does marketer useful China so you system over discovered oh come on not only is that clearly but control see size photo ops it's the same publicity strategy as Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddleston American Idol Swift Russia got pootle judge have sad total judge lose his popularity so is all the more surprising given that from the beginning his presidency has been shrouded in accusations of corruption we've seen him enriching his friends his close allies and marginalizing those who he doesn't view as friends using state assets whether that Russia's energy wealth whether it's other state contracts he directed those to whom he believes will serve Him and excludes those who don't I see so pooting Springs depend on him for their wealth that actually explains how he wound up once going out dressed like this because any real friends would tell him that Vladimir no I love you but you cannot pull off white denim you look like you're attending the wedding of a yacht and the year 1991 get changed as a friend get changed but it's not just Putin's friends and become rich some estimates put Putin's personal wealth anywhere from 40 to 85 billion dollars which would make him one of the richest men in the world and although he strenuously denied it nothing about his finances adds up president Putin's official income is around a hundred thousand dollars a year and yet he lived like the super-rich he has a collection of expensive watches even his designer track suit cost $3,000 whoa whoa whoa whoa what monster works out in a $3,000 Traxxas the only acceptable reason for owning a track suit that expensive is if you recorded the 2002 hit work it's your name is Missy Elliott and you are not fully aware that other clothes exist that's it that is it I draw a line there but for example of really surprising wealth consider Putin's own daughter she and her husband have holdings worth around two billion dollars which is a lot of money for someone who and this is true is an academic / acrobatic rock-and-roll dancer and if you think we don't have footage of her in action you are sorely mistaken first pour and second you know a lot of people think that the most dangerous job in the world is prison guard or fighter pilot but I'd like now now to put a strong word in for guy whose job is to throw pooping Sauter way up in the air and then a hopefully capture you know what know what maybe Vladimir Putin has just been extraordinarily lucky in his life and if so it contrasts with the extreme misfortune that many of his critics and political opponents have suffered opposition leader Boris Nemtsov was shot dead alexander litvinenko a former KGB agent who turned on Putin died of radiation poisoning a journalist Anna Politkovskaya was murdered on Putin's birthday and the activist Vladimir Karen Mirza was allegedly poisoned managed to survive only to be allegedly poisoned again earlier this year and I know that all this looks bad but again maybe Putin had nothing to do with any of that and just got lucky maybe the guy has a rabbit's foot yes a freshly severed one but still he's got one and meanwhile other Putin adversary's ever have a ended up disgraced when sex tapes of them was shown on national TV or leaked on the Internet and a sex tape doesn't even need to be real as this man Karl Hatcher who works for the US State Department in Russia discovered a few years ago last month this undercover video of Hatcher was posted on a Russian internet site complete with background music Hatcher is seen in a Moscow hotel room in his underwear with the lights on then the lights are out in the room and a man and a woman appeared to be having sexual relations on the bed Hatcher told us officials this is a fabrication okay now that is obviously ridiculous but I do actually have some questions here one if someone releases a fake sex tape of you do you watch it and - what if the fake you is better at sex than the real you and the only reason I ask this is I'm currently talking about putting on television so I'm expecting my fake sex tape to come out any moment now and I'm just I'm just interested I'm just interested that's all through him has carefully created an atmosphere in Russia but he's extremely hostile to any opposition standing up to him can mean being targeted by trolls and not just on the internet when garry kasparov spoke at a political opposition event he was interrupted and this is true by radio controlled flying dildo and no uh I have to say I kind of respect that visa that takes real imaginations initiative and planning now what electing president is what liberal politician Ilya Yashin claims happened to him according as adult going eggs colors of the blood models of the girl from my property was no vehicle no honey it'll today [Music] put a meerkat a liitle oh look I do understand being mad at someone who is on your car but for the record parents walking by are not actually going to be offended because if you have a child your visceral response to see someone other than your own kids taking a dump in public is not my problem not my problem so to recap 13 may or may not have stolen billions of dollars and may or may not have been involved in the intimidation or assassination of his opponents there is so much that people suspect but can't quite prove in the same way that I suspect Putin's genitals are just a fist covered in thorns but I can't entirely say for sure I'm 98% I'm just not quite there but here is what we can say about Putin without a doubt he among other things annex Crimea imposed severe fines and long prison terms on protesters propped up the brutal Assad regime and signed a harsh anti-gay propaganda law which many Russians supported which might actually not be that surprising when you consider they see like this on state-sponsored TV so soon Reba the Sodom and Gomorrah were burnt with the rain of sulfurous fire from the heavens since that time the real name of homosexuals just so you know our dear TV audience is not gays but sodomites God does not tolerate the filth and sin that may consume the entire world we need to resist what to stay alive Wow now to give you just a sense of how anti-gay Russian TV is their most popular makeover show features five straight guys and is called vest jacket looks fine so in a nutshell that is Russia under Vladimir Putin and our president wants to get along better with him and I'm not saying that America hasn't regularly cozied up to regimes with hideous human rights records I will not mention names but let's just say that Saudi Arabia knows who they are but but there is something truly alarming about how easy chums makes this all sound if our country got along with Russia that would be a great thing wouldn't it be a wonderful thing frankly if we actually got along with Russia wouldn't it be great if we actually got along with Russia wouldn't it be nice if we actually got along with Russia wouldn't it be good wouldn't it actually be wonderful would it be nice would it be nice wouldn't it be nice if we actually got along as an example with Russia I'm all for it sure yeah and it would also be nice if you could walk right up to a bear and hug it that would be really really nice but unfortunately it's not that easy negotiating anything with Putin is going to be way more difficult than Trump Trump seems to think who to spend his early life as a spy for Russia in East Germany where he mastered manipulating foreigners and I'm not saying that Trump isn't at his level I'm just saying what's what happened last year when Bill O'Reilly tried to game out how Trump would respond to Russian planes buffing US warships I would say do not do that that's provocation that's something that you're not supposed to be doing but if he did it if you divisor you to do on many you'd have to shoot one of those planes down I I may have to do something which you would hate to do but this is something I wouldn't want to do but I would say Vladimir don't do it let's go come on we're going to have a good relationship don't do it but is just embarrassing he is using the tone of a dog owner failing to stop a spaniel peeing on the rug Ruggles don't do it let's go come on waggles we're going to have a good relationship don't do it one don't do it don't know undefended the thing is hump have already given Putin something absolutely massive and he may not even realize it yet let me explain Putin is actually a little bit weaker than you think at the moment his economy is struggling which is not great news for an autocrat who may have stolen billions from his own people but he is still very popular in task because he routinely deflects criticism on to the US and not just to dodge blame but to D legitimize our ability to claim the moral high ground Russians love it when America points the finger at him and he just points it right back for instance when he was asked a few years ago about suppressing dissent in Russia he immediately changed the subject to problems in America but I blame until you believe that everything is perfect now look we know you're demanding if your number is really funny there would be no problem Ferguson right no there would be no other problems of a similar nature v there would be no abuse by the police warning this is the same case in Russia a lot of problems yeah but not all problems are the same it's not comparing la-la-land and Academy award-nominated movie with glaring flaws to the Human Centipede a thing that barely counts as a film yes one movie is people sewn mouth to anus but you know Ryan Gosling looks at his feet when he dances so it all evens out in the end this message that you know if things are bad here just know that they are just as bad in America that is a key Putin technique Russian state media spends a good part of last year insisting that the u.s. election was rigged and they did this for a clear reason what does the Kremlin want to put in Russians heads there is no real democracy in the world doesn't work this will be the opportunity to show that hey they have been to the same thing there is no difference and we're no worse than they are yes exactly so that is the official line your wish it everything never try for a better world's because it doesn't exist that is not only bleak I think it's also the working title of every Russian novel ever written you know what you would expect America's elections are rigged to be a standard Putin line what changed last year though was that he had a major American candidate saying the exact same thing and if you think that that played into Putin's hand imagine how happy he was to then see the President of the United States take his moral equivalence argument and just run with it Putin's a killer a lot of killers get a lot of killers where you think our country's so innocent do you think our country's so innocent I don't know of any government leaders that are killers and then take a look at what we've done to holy the only way he could found any more like radomir Putin is if he said all that in a $3,000 Traxxas Trump is basically the propagandist of Putin's dreams and who knows why he is acting this way maybe he's compromised maybe he's an idiot but since the President of the United States won't stick up for this country I will America and Russia are not the same and don't get me wrong America has had and continues to have endemic problems that need fixing that might as well be the title of this show but hold on though hold on did our elections have some flaws but they are not rigged our human rights record is far from perfect but it does not compare to Putin's Russia and our press is at least currently free enough that I can routinely do this Donald Trump America's wealthiest hemorrhoid America's walking talking brushfire wrong burning in manful and ill-fitting suit full of chickens coming home to roost Twitter's is made manifest this Fengtian circus peanuts a racist voodoo doll made of discarded cat hair a clown made of mummified foreskin and cotton can't upload our piece of candy corn in a wig made of you medical jaws of a clear plastic bag filled with cheeseburgers and Confederate flag belt buckles an old piece of luggage covered in cheese with a kidney drop on the Florida super car he is basically what happened if the secret gets into the wrong hands I've talked a lot of has not had me murdered yes yes there is still time the problem is though Trump has already given Putin a lot without realizing it but Putin wants more experts say that he likely wants an end to US sanctions for us to endorse his pro-assad position in Syria at eleven a m-- weaken NATO and to recognize his annexation of Crimea all of which will be against American interests and values but there seems to be a genuine danger that is unchecked Trump may trade any or all of that away in exchange for getting along better whatever the that really means so someone needs quickly to get into Trump's ear and educate him in how realistic getting along better with Putin actually is and unfortunately our capital cowboy cannot do it in 30 seconds so we've put together a quick explanation guaranteed to stick in trumps mind in the catchiest possible form shitty techno music [Applause] no no no do not on my car that is weird it's so weird if anything it might be the weirdest part of this whole story please don't on my car stop please don't do it I'm sorry you would mean you were telling the president about Putin go

Channel: LastWeekTonight

Views: 20,209,629

Keywords: john oliver putin, last week tonight with john oliver

Id: 0utzB6oDan0

Length: 20min 6sec (1206 seconds)

Published: Sun Feb 19 2017

Reddit Comments

[u/theJdaw69]

I just saw the thumbnail and my head suddenly went “🎶 a man like Putin… 🎶”

[u/lurkandpounce]

I missed this the first time around. With hindsight this is more than a little horrifying.

[u/standardtrickyness1]

The most important takeaway is that Russians think Putin is a hero.

People often think their leaders are the heroes there to save them from <insert threat here> this was true in the civil war, WWII, Korean war vietnam, Iraq ... etc

Until you change the Russian people's mind about that nothing is going to change.
And just remember they've been taught all their lives that we are the bad guys so we got our work cut out for us.

[u/billpurray]

This was fantastic and I wish more people understood this. I think the only thing missing from this was highlighting that he has been in power for over 20 years through changing their own laws without any checks and balances(because he kills checks and balances)

[u/Nate_Myself]

I think this mightve been the first John Oliver vid I ever saw. This or it could've been about a prison warden and like pink prisoner outfits idk

[u/Raffix]

ROFLMAO! @8:42

"Last Cock Tonight"

Didn't catch this one 5 years ago

[u/jedberg]

Interesting that at the end he lists things that experts are afraid Putin wants (end of sanctions, weaken NATO, recognize Crimea as part of Russia) and Trump ended up doing all of those things.

[u/Biggu5Dicku5]

So I guess we aren't getting a Ukraine episode? Strange...