Rudy Giuliani: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (HBO)

[Music] we thought we'd check in on the latest developments in the ongoing Trump scandals that we've been calling stupid Watergate a story with all the gravity of Watergate if during it there was a gas leak in the White House and Nixon had been really into huffing glue well well this week stupid Watergate had another plot twist thanks to Rudy Giuliani who only joined Trump's legal team two weeks ago but on Wednesday made big news during an appearance on Fox basically Trump is on record denying knowing about a $130,000 payment to stormy Daniels to keep quiet about their alleged affair but despite that for some reason Giuliani Trump's lawyer now remember offered a whole new story about where the money came from that even startled Sean Hannity I'm giving you a fact now that you don't know it's not campaign money no campaign finance violation so they funneled it through the law firm funnel throw of him and the president repaid it oh I didn't know that he did yeah there's no campaign finance law zero zero he not only contradicting what his client said he topped it off with the drunk sounding zero of a man saying my girlfriend left me but guess how many this guy gives zero now now in saying that Giuliani may have just exposed Trump to multiple new legal and political problems but he wasn't done because during his media blitz he also undercut the White House's official line on why James Comey was fired prematurely announced the release of American hostages from North Korea something that as of this taping has still not happened and made this creepy comment about what would happen if prosecutors targeted Trump's daughter I think I would get on get on my charger and go right into the writers their offices with a lance if they go after Ivanka thought about her son-in-law they've talked about him I guess I Gerald is a fine man you know that but men are you know disposable but a fine woman like Ivanka come on okay setting aside the sleaziness of calling Ivanka a fine woman let's not forget that he also just called a living human being disposable which is pretty harsh but also it is Jared you know it's Jared he is basically a six foot three inch stack of packing peanuts it's Jared he's useless now no Giuliani's interview was so ill-advised and chaotic it left many people on TV wondering what exactly had become of him it's a long way from America's mayor after 9/11 there's something awful Giuliani yeah this is not the time absolutely I mean this is shocking coming from somebody who was the post 9/11 mayor of New York City after 9/11 I think Giuliani had a ton of credibility with the American people over this past week it seems like that's kind of all worn off exactly people seem to be as shocked at finding out who Giuliani really is as a child at Disney World who accidentally saw Mickey Mouse pull off his head to reveal that he was actually tilda swinton not only are you not what I thought you are a moment ago you are terrifying and if any part of you is also wondering what on earth happened to Rudy Giuliani tonight we're going to try and answer that for you because the short answer is nothing he's always been this way and I know that that might be a little jarring to hear because the thing that he's most famous for is being mayor of New York City on 9/11 after which he was rightly celebrated for being a calm steady presence he was TIME's Person of the Year he received an honorary knighthood from Great Britain and its closest American equivalent being played in a made-for-tv movie by mr. James Woods Democrats always talked about things getting better Republicans did whatever they could to make them better that's what we're here for [Music] hot right right I mean come on who wouldn't want to watch James Woods and the lady from Kindergarten Cop trade Republican themes pillow talk on a green screen beach before exchanging the most sexless kiss in the history of film how did that not win all of the awards but to truly understand Giuliani you have to go back before 9/11 now he first made a name for himself as a federal prosecutor where he had quite a deep and lasting taste for the limelight performing stunts like going undercover to buy crack while dressed in a Hells Angels vest and a white dress shirt which made him look less like a street junkie and more like the third best member of an all dad blues band called dad to the bone now he eventually decided to run for mayor which was somewhat risky at the time due to some substantial baggage an internal document produced by his own campaign flagged a weirdness factor around him because and this is true his first marriage was to his second cousin that's right America's mayor was a cosna slur but-but-but don't worry don't worry because he had an excuse for that Giuliani says they only discovered their family relation after many years of marriage Oh didn't think it was just a little bit weird at the wedding ceremony when one side of the church was both families and the other was just one very nervous photographer who didn't take a single picture now nevertheless Giuliani was elected and and as mayor he continued his love of the cameras showing up everywhere from the Whoopi Goldberg movie Eddy to an episode of Law & Order to Bill Cosby CBS sitcom which has not dated badly in any shape or form but what many New Yorkers remember most about the Giuliani is was his unrelentingly abrasive personal style he had a weekly local radio show where he would take calls from constituents which should be easy to do you just listen to their concerns and you politely disagree whenever necessary but just listen to this exchange with a ferret owner annoyed by the city's ban on owning them as pets there's something deranged about you you excessive concern that you have for ferrets is something you should examine with a therapist this conversation is over David thank you this excessive concern with little weasels is the sickness that's right that is the mayor of New York actively choosing to insult a New Yorker whose only crime was being a fan of ferrets and I am sure that when that ferret fan was given the chance to present his side without interruption he was completely reasonable David thanks for coming on thank you very much you have in your hands my notes here say one ferret is named master Linus Van Pelt and the other Princess Katie mini mitts and that's it I hate to say it but I think I'm on Giuliani side I'm on Team Giuliani it turns out that ferret advocates are a lot like ferrets I thought I'd like them then I saw one and now I'm not so sure but it went well beyond picking fights with ferrets enthusiasts because Giuliani adopted a famously tough-on-crime stance with a severely increased police presence and an aggressive crackdown on so-called quality of life crimes like panhandling and jaywalking now this approach antagonized a lot of people especially people of color many remember it as a time when the police were licensed to do whatever they wanted a criticism even shared by some former cops we will get a lot of flack oh you're just doing this because Giuliani is letting you do this and in my heart I knew it was true if police officers were just every single person I want to stop you I'm gonna question you I'm gonna frisk you then the civil rights are gone and that is pretty chilling because it's not like it's easy to navigate New York streets anyway at worst you're trying to get around 14 Belgian tourists so don't know how to walk in a city and at best you might be ambushed by Billy Eichner and if you are not up on your Meryl Streep trivia you deserve everything he's about to give you now now by the end of Giuliani second term many New Yorkers were sick of his at one point he even had to move out of the mayor's residence and made accusations of an extramarital affair which he handled in the worst possible way Giuliani told the media in an extraordinary news conference that he intended to separate from the first lady we've grown grown to live independent and separate lives he'd given no heads-up to his wife Wow Wow that is just about the most humiliating way possible to end a marriage other than announcing publicly whoopsie i boned my cousin but but then of course 9/11 happened and all was forgotten because as America's mayor his reputation was suddenly solid-gold and upon leaving office he immediately cashed in he wrote a book he gave speeches making as much as $200,000 a pop and he launched a consulting firm called Giuliani Partners a name that sounds a lot like a euphemism for cousins who oh oh then there Giuliani partners it was it was love at first sight at that great grandmother's funeral naina always was a matchmaker now he also became a partner in a law firm and over the years his firm's represented clients such as a tobacco company a private prison company Bank of America News Corp on Fox News and Purdue Pharma the company that got in trouble for supercharging the opioid crisis basically the condom companies whose logos you'd expect to see on an as car driven by a homicidal grizzly bear and then in 2007 Giuliani lost what was supposed to be his destiny a campaign for president which was catastrophic ly bad he talked non-stop about 9/11 with some supporters even holding 8 $9 and 11 cents per person fundraiser all of which triggered this memorable line from been candidate Joe Biden during a debate Rudy Giuliani there's three there's only three things he mentioned in a sentence and now in a verb in 911 I mean there's nothing else now he's right Giuliani could not stop leveraging 911 for his own ends as evidenced by his classic children's book one fish two fish red fish 911 now in the end his campaign flamed out spectacularly he did not win a single state and he went from the front-runner for the presidency to being out of the race by January having spent around fifty million dollars or to end up with precisely zero delegates or as he would put it zero exactly exactly busy and after that completely humiliating presidential flop Giuliani ended up fading from view eventually washing up in d-list places like this [Music] ENC mark we posted by rudy guiliani holy that is a steep fall just ten years after being named time Person of the Year Giuliani was doing VJ work for a cable networks editing for television presentation of Scarface just think about how crazy that is that would be like if in ten years from now Bravo announced a fuckboys of the 90s marathon hosted by Malala yousafzai how the did that happen what did I miss clearly a significant amount of goodwill has somehow been squandered Wow Wow after that after that Giuliani fretted away years as I rent a quote pundit on cable news saying various awful things and he didn't truly join Trump's orbit until January 2017 when he was named Trump's cybersecurity advisor now why did Trump give him that job who knows and maybe it was because Giuliani had a security consulting business called Giuliani security and safety despite seemingly having no real background in cybersecurity and if he watched Giuliani for even 10 seconds you do really get the sense that he tries to check his email by opening a word doc and typing hi Google check email thanks Rudy although the truth is Trump's real affection for Giuliani probably came from his willingness during the campaign to lend his last shreds of credibility to various amounts of poisonous nonsense like this if I did one tenth of what Hillary Clinton did I'd be in jail she paid people to create violence at his rallies she sold 20% of our uranium to Russia I have eight times online since January in which she's had massive coughing fits so go online and put down Hillary Clinton illness take a look at the videos for yourself now obviously that is all horseshit but I do agree with him on one point there you should definitely go online and visit Hillary Clinton illness calm and take a look at the videos because they are i opening and the reason I know that is we bought the URL for automatically redirect to something that Rudy Rudy Guiliani would hate this animation of to fair it's awesome also it is worth noting stop it also it is worth noting that Giuliani security and despite Giuliani's cybersecurity expertise didn't seem to think to buy the URL Giuliani - security calm so we now own that as well the only thing that irritates more than two ferrets two ferrets or cousins not I mean the sexual tension there is unbearable you know each other so well and when you look at all of this in total you realize that Giuliani's role as Trump's lawyer isn't an aberration everything in his life has led to this point and while he may well be providing terrible legal representation for Trump he's actually the most honest representation of him in general because think about it they're basically two versions of the same person they're both New Yorkers coasting on their reputations they both had three marriages neither of them can shut up when in front of a camera and perhaps most importantly they both want to Ivanka which which is weird for Trump because Ivanka is in his family and is weird for Giuliani because she isn't so what happens what happened to Giuliani is really not the right question he's always been like this what's going to happen to him is more to the point because he is now the public face of Trump's legal team and who knows what he's gonna come up that maybe he Prem's Trump down through sheer incompetence maybe he gets fired in the next two weeks although to be honest at the rate we're going he is so fatally flawed as a human being that he's probably going to end up president although although to do that he'll need a campaign website which he might find difficult because for the record Rudy Giuliani 2020 for calm is no longer available because we bought it and it links to a dancing ferret giving you the thing you you

Channel: undefined

Views: 10,307,031

Rating: 4.8391061 out of 5

Keywords: last week tonight rudy giuliani, john oliver rudy giuliani, rudy giuliani, rudy, giuliani, giuliani trump

Id: mXQuto1fMp4

Length: 15min 37sec (937 seconds)

Published: Sun May 06 2018

Reddit Comments

[u/Jameson_Stoneheart]

Jonh Oliver is cheating, that man is r/MurderedByWords in human form. Remember that New Zealand public official who got hit by a dildo and said to send the video to Jonh Oliver to "get it over it"?

[u/assterisks]

"The uploader has not made this video available in your country"

I don't get it

[u/sleepythegreat]

That was incredible

[u/tylrbrock]

More like, here lies Rudy, due* to his own stupidity.

[u/nina_qj]

Link to full ep

[u/Well_thats_Rubbish]

That was awful - he just kept running him over and backing up and doing it again.

[u/bekiboobaa]

Why? 😥

[u/PragmatistAntithesis]

Cannot be viewed in the UK. Can someone link me to a non-region-locked version?

[u/decregan47]

Body. Bag.