-Our first guest tonight hosts the Emmy-
and Peabody Award-winning show "Last Week Tonight,"
which airs Sunday nights on HBO and streams on HBO Max. Please welcome back to the show
our good friend John Oliver, everybody! [ Cheers and applause ] ♪♪ ♪♪ How are you?
-Good, thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. [ Cheers and applause ]
Thanks. No, no.
-You love this stuff. -I d--
-You love applause and attention.
-I don't like it. I don't like it.
[ Cheering ] I was this close to leaving.
Half is a bit. -Yeah.
[ Laughter ] -I feel very lucky
to see you here. I saw you last week
at the Emmys. Congratulations on your victory.
-Thanks very much. -Also, congratulations --
[ Cheers and applause ] I feel like you had -- The award was presented to you
by Selena Gomez, Martin Short, and Steve Martin.
-Yes. -That's a very nice trio
to get it from. -Definitely, yeah.
I kind of -- when they came out, they'd said,
"Our award is next," and it did seem like
this must be a mistake. They're not gonna slum it in
"Best Variety Show," are they? And then they did.
Yeah, it was amazing. My wife's favorite movie
is "Clifford." -Yeah.
-So to get an award from Clifford is about as happy as she's been with me
for five years. -Based on the reaction
to you saying that, I think it might only
be her favorite movie. -Yeah.
-Yeah. [ Laughter ] 'Cause I --
that's a Martin Short film where Martin Short
plays a child named Clifford. -Yeah, it's really good.
It's really good. -It's really good.
-And even though we're both selling it really hard,
you can feel an innate sense of, "I don't think --"
[ Laughter ] There's no curiosity of,
"I'll watch that tonight." It's just, "Nope, this is
another thing that I will miss." -Just do us a favor.
It's not a giant commitment. Watch the trailer
on YouTube of "Clifford"... -Yeah.
-...starring Martin Short. -And then, when you get to
the end of it and think, "Not for me," remember,
it is really good. -Yep.
-To be honest, I've just come here to sell
"Clifford." [ Laughter ] I just don't think --
-This is a new thing. You're plugging old films.
-Yes, that's right. I just don't think enough people
have seen "Clifford." So, do we have a clip?
[ Laughter ] -You got to tell us ahead
of time if you want a clip. I'm so sorry.
-Oh, that's how it works? I thought you could just say,
"Do you have a clip?", and they'd google it quick.
[ Laughter ] -Give them time.
Maybe by the end. -Yeah, sure.
-So what about -- Do you enjoy being at the Emmys?
-No. -Yeah.
-Not at all, no. [ Laughter ] No, it would've been nicer
to see you literally anywhere else
on Earth. But, you know, it's what
America does best, in a way. It's pageantry.
-Yeah. -It's like a royal funeral
without a dead queen. -Okay. Well...
[ Laughter ] You know what I like about you?
[ Laughter ] You know what I like
the most about you? You bring your own segues.
Now, John... [ Laughter ] The last time you were here
was a couple days after Prince Philip
had passed away. -That's right, yes.
-And now, obviously you're here on the day
of the Queen's funeral. -I am, yeah.
-And you're sort of our royal correspondent by fate
more than anything else. -That's right, that's right.
[ Laughter ] -How are you taking it all in?
-Thanks, thanks. [ Laughter ] Yeah, it's a difficult day. Craig, you're from
the U.K., right? -I am, yeah.
-Sorry for our loss. [ Laughter ] -You know what?
I didn't know her. [ Laughter ] -Wait. You guys promised me
Craig knew her. -Yeah, you know, basically,
whenever a senior royal dies, I will come here.
[ Laughter ] Just click your heels
three times, and I will be here to give it
the disrespect it deserves. -Yeah.
[ Laughter ] Well, thank you very much. -It's been a very weird time
in Britain. This 10 days in forced mourning, apparently,
has been very, very strange. -Yes.
And one of the -- We were talking about this
at the Emmys, 'cause we're both football fans.
-Yes. -I should clarify --
we're talking about soccer. Which was --
they did not play any of those games for about a week.
-They didn't. They kept -- rugby and cricket
was allowed to go ahead. [ Laughter ]
And football had to stop in an act of, I think,
tangible class warfare. [ Laughter ] -Because of the fan bases
of those three sports? -I mean, it's hard to -- They will say
it was for other reasons, but I think
it was probably that. -Yeah.
-I think they were concerned about how football fans
would respond to a minute's silence
and maybe they would not be able to go the whole minute. [ Laughter ] But it's the interesting thing. It's always -- the question
in their mind is always, "Well, will they behave?",
not "Why might they not?" [ Laughter ] There's no introspection
or follow-up for, "Why might they decide
to editorialize that?" -Yeah, and then,
there's also the likelihood of maybe a chant or two.
Or a song that could happen. -That's right.
We do love a song, yeah. [ Laughter ] Yeah, it's been
a very weird 10 days. I think -- they had in
Morrison's, the supermarket -- #Ad.
Sorry. [ Laughter ] I'm here -- I'm here to promote
"Clifford" the movie and a low-grade
British supermarket. [ Laughter ]
Apparently, they lowered the sound of the beeps
at the checkout out of respect
for the queen dying. [ Laughter ]
-Well, she did -- She hated beeps.
-She hated beeps. [ Laughter ] As if someone would've gone in,
heard the regular beep, and said,
"Have some [bleep] respect!" [ Laughter ] "She's lying in state!"
[ Laughter ] "As is tradition,
a quieter beep is appropriate!" [ Laughter ] -I can't believe there was a way to have the beep be quieter
this whole time. -Well, at first,
I thought that cannot be true. They can mute the beeps.
They choose not to. -Yeah.
-Yeah. -Again, that's the crime here.
-That's right. And after Charles becomes king,
the beeps will return. [ Laughter ] -Double, twice as loud. -Unnecessarily loud volume,
yeah. It's been a stupid time.
-You were offered the order of the British Empire,
the O.B.E., I guess. -I was, yes. -And that must be a very
interesting call to receive. -It is.
It is a call. They called up, and they -- This is before I got
my citizenship here in America. And so, you know,
as an immigrant on a visa or green card,
your immigration status is a perpetual anxiety for you. They left a message saying
that you need to call the British consulate
immediately, which doesn't sound like -- Unless you're Jason Bourne,
and... [ Laughter ] ...physically and emotionally,
I just am not. [ Laughter ] I thought it was something
really bad. And then, this guy picks up
the phone and says, "I'm here with a letter
from the Queen in front of me." It was so offensively English,
his accent. [ Laughter ] I don't think you're allowed
to do this accent. Yeah, and he said,
"I'm here to say that you're on the New Year's
honors list," and I knew what was coming.
"I don't think I want this." He went, "Don't answer now."
And I said, "I just did." [ Laughter ]
I said -- I said, "I don't want it." And so he said,
"I'll call back tomorrow." And he did. I said, "Yeah,
my answer hasn't changed. I really don't want this."
[ Laughter ] It's a loaded --
O.B.E.... -Yeah.
-...is a loa-- The "B.E." part of that
is a hell of a thing to want after your surname.
Yeah, so I didn't. And he said,
"Please don't tell anyone," and I said,
"I am telling everybody I know." [ Laughter and applause ] That is --
Let's just be clear. I have made no pr-- If I'm making a promise,
I'm breaking it instantly. The moment this phone goes down,
I'm calling people. -I bet -- obviously,
based on his reaction, it probably doesn't happen often
that people turn him down. -I think -- I think it probably
happens all the time. I just think it's not then
people that just say, "I have to tell people that this
was a very funny conversation." -You had --
-My wife was mad, though, 'cause she wanted to go
to Buckingham Palace. I had to kind of explain to her, "Listen, there's a class system
in England. This is stuff -- it's not
important for you to know this, but I really can't go there
and behave." [ Laughter ] -You did have a joke
censored by -- -Yes!
-I guess your show airs on Sky over there.
-Yes. Yeah, they, uh --
-Not really a censorable joke. -It was -- I don't --
It wasn't really -- It barely had the properties
of a -- All we said was
that Britain is still mourning the shocking loss -- right? --
of a 96-year-old woman from natural causes.
[ Laughter ] It's not -- it's not --
literally not a joke. Scientifically,
that's not a joke. That's just a fact with a kind
of dickish inflection. That's all it is.
[ Laughter ] And yet, they cut it out.
-Wow. -Which is pretty [bleep]
because apparently all we've heard all week
is the Queen had an incredible
sense of humor. [ Laughter ] Just non-stop,
"Oh, she was so funny." Seth, she was so funny. The Queen, she was razor sharp.
[ Laughter ] She dreamt of going
to the Del Close Marathon. Big comedy fan.
-I will say, I've watched a lot of anecdotes
of people saying, "She was so funny,"
and then they tell a story, and when it ends, you go,
"I don't know." -Yeah, or that clip.
Or that clip. It's like -- And there she was
with Paddington. I'm watching a bear carry her
comedically in that scene. [ Laughter ] She's giving that bear
nothing back. There is one set of footprints
in the sand, and it's a paw. [ Laughter ] But she was a huge comedy fan.
-Huge comedy fan. And liked the good --
yeah, "The State." She loved "The State."
[ Laughter ] -She just wanted to live to see
Mulaney's tour. That was the thing
that she didn't -- [ Laughter ] Why is that the thing?! Ask yourself
why that was your line. -Yeah, and then let us know.
[ Laughter ] John Oliver, everybody! [ Cheers and applause ] "Last Week Tonight"
airs Sunday nights on HBO and streams on HBO Max. We'll be right back
with Quinta Brunson.
