Puerto Rico: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (HBO)

Puerto Rico the island that for decades has been marketed to us as a beautiful vacation spot this is the Commonwealth of Puerto Rico a land of song and laughter coconut milk that delicious Puerto Rican rum this is really living its the revival of an old coconut mask festival at Luisa just 45 minutes from San Juan and how'd you like to see this the morning after wait wait where were we did that 1950s narrator just make a sex joke why if you've got the moxie you can every crazy masked stranger on the island ha ha ha but what oh Rico is an island of three and a half million people and they are currently facing a horror even greater than a demonic Slipknot coconut Mars Porto Rico is in desperate financial trouble Puerto Rico is facing a 70 billion dollar public debt amid a tenure economic crisis and they thought it was real considering the state of our economy the name okay so the debt is not payable Gaetano say this is not politics this is math that is bad because this is math is one of the most dread inducing sentences in the English language even when it's uttered at the start of an actual math class as for voting statements go it's right up there with it'll never grow back and mommy whiskers has been napping for a really really long time Warren Rico is currently around seventy billion dollars in debt and it is wreaking havoc on the island the poverty rate is a staggering 45% last year alone over 80,000 people left for the mainland u.s. worker Rico has already shut down more than 150 schools in the last few years the cash-strapped government has dramatically hiked sales taxes from 7 percent to 11 and a half percent far higher than any in the United States yes right now Puerto Rico is like the last Tower Records everything's overpriced everyone's being laid off and they're still weirdly large number of Ricky Martin CDs and remember Americans have a personal stake here Puerto Ricans are American citizens and they and their descendants include some of our finest judges both of our laws and our idols they're some of our top athletes and our top Guzman's and just this week does this week lin-manuel Miranda the son of Puerto Rican parents won the Pulitzer Prize for Hamilton the Broadway smash he created and stars in and last month he made a heartfelt plea to Congress on Puerto Rico's behalf if I can leave you with anything today our island is in crisis and if I can help in any way if I can get more eyeballs to this crisis it's a fixable problem I'm urging Congress if Hamilton tickets will help I'm happy to do that too Wow that that is incredible because I'm amazed even he can get tickets it is it is easier for a meerkat to get into Harvard Law School than it is to get into that show and and quick sidenote here Congress should take him up on that the show is amazing have you seen that clip from when he performed a work-in-progress version of the opening song at the White House but word got around this said this kid is insane man took up a collection just to send into the main lab get your education don't forget from whence you came and the world is gonna know Alexander Hamilton it's so good it's so good we all want a Rico for that man so how did we get to the point when members of Congress are being offered Broadway tickets to save Puerto Rico well much of it has to do with the fact that as we have talked about before here Puerto Rico is not a state but rather as a 1901 Supreme Court case stated it is a territory that is foreign to the United States in a domestic sense which sounds like what a liquor store clerk says to try and sell surplus cases of Miller High Life oh you're looking for a quality foreign beer I'd call this foreign in a domestic sense and look we don't need to settle tonight the question of Puerto Rican statehood that is a complicated issue on which many Puerto Ricans themselves disagree but one thing is for sure because it's a territory many laws that apply to the states have loopholes concerning Puerto Rico and as you will see time and time again in this piece those little legal quirks have had massive consequences some good but many utterly devastating and let's start with a quirk many Puerto Ricans like something called section 936 it gave tax breaks to encourage businesses that would otherwise have moved overseas to move to Puerto Rico and it worked in the 1970s the US government helped attract business to Puerto Rico by granting generous tax breaks that led to a booming manufacturing sector particularly pharmaceutical companies at its peak the island was home to 89 drug manufacturing plants all of a sudden Puerto Rico was a pharmaceutical paradise at its peak the small city of barceloneta even housed 14 pharmaceutical and other plants including one that produced viagra and that viagra plant was such a source of pride that the town's mayor has said we're responsible for a lot of good moments I'm one step away from outright changing the town's motto to barceloneta you're welcome for that boner now unfortunately for Puerto Rico Congress got rid of those tax breaks to offset a tax cut on the mainland phasing them out completely by 2006 and between that and the u.s. recession Puerto Rico lost over half its manufacturing jobs putting its economy into a flaccid state that no amount of Viagra could fix and to pay its bills the government started issuing tons of municipal bonds and a municipal bond is basically an IOU puerto rico borrows money from someone promising to pay it back later with interest and for years people lined up to buy those bonds because thanks to some other quirks in the law they were very attractive Congress decided bonds from Puerto Rico would be triple tax exempt those who buy them don't have to pay federal state or local taxes on the bonds the money you earned on them was triple tax-exempt anywhere in the US and triple is the best you can have like triple fudge brownies because double fudge is and quadruple fudge doesn't even exist because what would the fourth fudge spin now now Wall Street loves those tax breaks as well as the fact that thanks to yet another legal quirk that they themselves lobby for they could stash tons of bonds in funds without putting Puerto Rico in the name you might even own Puerto Rican bonds and not even know it Oppenheimer's Maryland municipal fund for instance is made up of 50.4% Puerto Rico bonds which is insane because if you are more than half something that is what you should be caught even Taco Bell makes sure their ground beef is less than 50% squirrel lips and that's because as we all know the rest is a combination of raccoon dicks and weasel knees and yet Puerto Rico even went a step further to entice Wall Street's writing into its constitution language suggesting that certain bondholders would be paid first ahead of anything else including funding basic government services which is pretty up the u.s. owes 1.2 trillion dollars to China but if you called 9-1-1 you would not expect them to say oh I'm sorry we chose to send our firetruck money to Beijing have you tried blowing on the fire really hard and his provisions like that that kept the money flowing in and as their former governor puts it Porto Rico got hooked they were extremely attractive in the marketplace and Puerto Rico actually got addicted I would say to it and and so it was a lot easier to just go out and Barrow as opposed to making tough decisions yeah and that is absolutely true but you were the governor for many of those years so hearing you complain about addiction is like hearing Keith Richards complain about the Rolling Stones drug problem it was you key you're the only rolling stone whose blood was a controlled substance it was you and there was wrong walk work here which made Puerto Rico at timebomb because unlike States Puerto Rico cannot authorize what's called chapter 9 bankruptcy which is huge because think about that if you are massively in debt and you can't declare bankruptcy you are stuck and this happened because of a tiny amendment to a law in 1984 and the crazy thing is no one can say why it was written it's interesting to note that chapter 9 applied to Puerto Rico from 1933 to 1984 and then mysteriously for some reason where Rico was exempt from Chapter 9 a provision was stuck into a larger bill with no explanation or debate there is no legislative history to explain why Puerto Rico was singled out he's right so the next time you're obnoxious friend tells you everything happens for a reason you can simply say no dan not the 1984 provision exempting Puerto Rico from bankruptcy protection so shut the up look we've even tried out we even tried you tried to find out ourselves why that amendment got attached we knew strong Thurmond had proposed it so we asked an archivist at the library where his papers are kept to go through the relevant papers and they came up with nothing which might actually be the best case scenario there because usually when it comes to Strom Thurmond the answer to the question where did this come from is either his testicles or fervent racism so so at this point with massive debt and that it's promised to pay a head of government services and no access to bankruptcy Puerto Rico was but wait because we're only getting started here because four years ago in an attempt to turn things around they embarked on a disastrous plan to lure in wealthy individuals and small businesses by among other things exempting them from capital gains taxes which you have to admit is pretty good rich people bait it's right up there with tiny dogs in bags and big dumb round ice cubes the colder when they're round you know the government even created a video to sell mainlanders on moving featuring a businessman talking in spectacularly condescending tones about how unexpectedly civilized life in Puerto Rico is what we found first of all was a thriving business community solid like the United States in terms of family I must say I was skeptical at first but in the end the island has everything you might need great possibilities I visited schools and Wow top level in English I saw living alternatives up to our standards I felt safe there's so many little treasures you want to explore complemented with all the comforts the necessities you and your family are accustomed to oh that level of colonial town makes me cringe and I'm King English yeah the buildings had roofs the cars had wheels on them but wait they also had indoor plumbing and the printed word but while those tax breaks were part of a plan to create 50,000 jobs in 18 months a study later found they only directly created fifty eight hundred that's 12 percent if an ER doctor told you congratulations we got 12 percent of the GI Joe out of your rectum you would not consider that a job well done and while those who relocated have gotten out of paying around 420 million dollars in taxes Puerto Ricans have been suffering the effects of savage government cuts including hospitals literally struggling to keep the lights on puto Rico sad problem has gotten so dire the Power Authority cut off the hospital that's behind on its bill the Electric Power Authority did at least wait until surgeries were done for the day today before pulling the plug oh that's nice they waited till surgeries were done I guess it's only the people on life support that have to worry about the switch to bicycle power generators pedal faster Luis we're losing him and with working conditions like those is it any wonder that apparently at least one doctor a day leaves Puerto Rico that is an attrition rate rivaling that of Grey's Anatomy how have so many of you died you work in a hospital and the truly tragic thing here is Federico may soon need those doctors more than ever health officials are worried as they expect the Zika virus to infect one in five people in Puerto Rico the island of Puerto Rico has already seen 450 confirmed cases of the virus that's been linked to severe birth defects so hold on on top of debt industrial collapse school closures and a sudden influx of tax dodging arseholes now Puerto Rico has to worry about deadly mosquitoes it's like the island is being hit with all the plagues that God felt were to Finke for the Bible and this is clearly a moment where Puerto Rico could rightly cry out to its creditors for mercy however a lot of its creditors and now hedge funds who traditionally thrive on this kind of chaos hedge funds often invest in debt ridden economies buying up bonds at low prices and looking to flip them for quick profits and Puerto Rico is their latest target the strategy has earned them a reputation among critics as so-called vulture funds it's true as much as 30 percent of Puerto Rican debt is now held by vulture funds and if you are alone in the desert and sea vultures perched above you your first thought is never all thank God the vultures are coming to help and these vulture funds have lived up to their name with a group of them producing a report last year titled for Puerto Rico there's a better way suggesting budget cuts like cutting excess Medicare Medicaid benefits and reducing the number of teachers on the island so shaving money out of medicine and education is your better way well at least have the intellectual honesty to then change the title of your report to hey Puerto Rico q pay me now the good news here is Congress is currently considering a bipartisan bill that would give Puerto Rico some breathing room to negotiate with creditors and the details are still being worked out but if this is done well it could be a real help to Puerto Rico unfortunately there is now a coordinated campaign to kill it who will bail out Puerto Rico Washington says you will retirement accounts crushed a bailout on the backs of savers and seniors tell Congress stop the Washington bailout of Puerto Rico okay everything you just saw was first it's not a bailout no one is suggesting a cash infusion second that ad wasn't paid for by savers and seniors but by the center for individual freedom who spent nearly 2 million dollars on ads like that they are a dark money group so it's impossible to say where that money came from hedge funds hedge funds go for the money it's it's impossible to say which funds impossible even even these sad old people featured in that ad of because they're all stock footage models and if you let the stock footage of the man with the moustache play out he's not even sad because he starts keep smiling that's amazing you can you can make him react to anything looker hey stock footage man you've been used in a manipulative attack ad oh don't be sad let's get some ice cream oh you know what bad news they're out of ice cream but they have cake pound cake though with strawberries Oh stock footage man you're America's greatest living actor and this is not to say that regular bondholders have not been hurt in fact some Puerto Rican bondholders may have got the worst of this thanks to one more quirk because some of the bonds were underwritten by the investment bank UBS which sold them to one of its own divisions essentially selling them to itself ups then offloaded those bonds on to Puerto Rican customers even though its own sales force felt they were so risky they came up with a list of 22 reasons not to sell them and 22 is a lot of reasons to ignore if a waiter at Bennigan's says she has 22 reasons she doesn't feel comfortable selling you the Cobb salad you listen to her and you go across the street to off King sizzler now now UBS says they did nothing wrong and technically they're right I mean sure UBS should never have been able to sell those bonds to themselves it's actually illegal to do that under the Investment Company Act of 1940 but and I think you know what's coming by now that doesn't apply in Puerto Rico because apparently no laws apply to businessmen down there I would not be surprised if in Puerto Rico hedge fund managers somehow have the ability to fly due to some exemption to the law of gravity Strom Thurmond wrote up in the 1980s look the point is 3.5 million Americans are facing a dire crisis right now and the clock is ticking their next debt payment is due on May 1st and in the short term they need relief from hedge fund lawsuits and an opportunity to try to restructure their debt and in the long term we need to stop treating Puerto Rico like it's just a tax haven or a place to have terrifying sex with a stranger in a coconut mask and instead we have to start treating it like an island of American citizens whose fate is interwoven with ours and look there are certainly better voices than mine to speak on behalf of Puerto Rico luckily there is someone with Puerto Rican parents and an amazing voice and he is here tonight please welcome yeah my family's from Puerto Rico the tropical destination where you can spend your Washington's the spot where you vacation a Commonwealth with not a lot of wealth and not quite nation 70 billion dollar topic of conversation hoping the god John Oliver's comical dissertation resonates with the Congress that got us in this situation along with suicidal tax incentive declarations yet will pay your bonds first close the hospital the patients this is an island a hundred miles across a hurricane has come in and we're running up a loss we got here through a million misguided loopholes that giveth and take away businesses and poop in our soup bowls they crapped in y'all's they crapped in mine and somewhere down the line Strom Thurmond's goes busted a cap and a chance to cap to nine the great debate over statehood has to wait that's Rose and Jack on the Titanic asking when's our next date the ship is sinking we have to stay in patient and matters then we'll figure out our facebook relationship status will they or won't they its friends is Rachel and Ross we have to help our island just a hundred miles across to recap 3.5 million American civilians are on the hook for billions pulcher funds are circling and lobbying for payout there's nothing left to tax or cut we're stuck we need a way out allow them to restructure there's no structure for what happens if you let this crisis play out renee is less than a day out it's nonpartisan the hard part is in convincing Congress but political matters so their heart is in the fight for relief not a bailout just relief a belief that you can pass legislation to ease our grief Paul Ryan who comes in Hamilton at your house how does he do with Pelosi how where my Hamilton blouse your citizens are suffering stop the bleeding stop the loss how Puerto Rico it's just a hundred miles across thank you it sounds like a boring keys

Channel: LastWeekTonight

Views: 14,024,067

Keywords: last week tonight, last week tonight with john oliver, lin-manuel miranda, lin-manuel miranda puerto rico, puerto rico, john oliver puerto rico

Id: Tt-mpuR_QHQ

Length: 21min 22sec (1282 seconds)

Published: Sun Apr 24 2016

Reddit Comments

[u/nolanised]

I don't know who Lin-Manuel Miranda is but that was one powerful performance. Really feel bad for Puerto Rican's, hope they get through it.

[u/jbiresq]

This was great but there was something that bugged me. He mentioned how bondholders get paid first before anyone else and how terrible that is. That's true with a large amount of municipal bonds, it's why investors are so eager to buy them and why the interest rates are so low.

[u/boricua4sanders]

I understand, and I appreciate the response. But we aren't a country, and we aren't a state; the federal government has very tight ropes around what the local government can negotiate with other parties (i.e. We can barely do anything).

I'll add a bit more to other commenters:

It's similar to a parent-child relationship. As long as the parent doesn't give the child economic and social freedom in their decision making, then the responsibility lies with the parent when the child makes a bad decision with their limited options.

A better analogy would be a dysfunctional spouse relationship were one party takes away economic freedom from the other, yet takes no responsibility in their well being. We can't turn to anyone else for help. Add to that that our people never asked to be in the relationship. We're prizes of war and the only reason we have citizenship is because they wanted us in the front lines of US conflicts.

If you look up info on the laws regarding shipping and trade, it paints a very dull picture of what the Puerto Rican people have to work with. Sure it's arguably "our fault". But we have no tools to dig ourselves out of the whole either. Fewer rights than states, fewer rights than countries. What are we supposed to do?

[u/44problems]

I really wonder where Oliver is going to get footage now that Al Jazeera America is defunct. Pretty much every LWT uses footage from AJA, and they provided pretty much all video for this story. I think it shows that they covered stories no one else did, too bad about their management problems and troublesome funding.

[u/imthe1whonocks]

How the hell did Lin-Manuel Miranda find the time to write this song? He has to be one of the busiest humans on the planet right now.

[u/iofdastorm]

Mirror

[u/scag315]

Visited last summer during the drought. Their conditions were awful. Beautiful islands and great people.

[u/bizzyjay]

Puerto Rican here currently living through this....please upvote this video so this issue can get more exposure. Thanks.

EDIT: thanks to everyone for their well wishes. I'm sure this subject may or may not be of importance to many of you but like John and Lin said, we are americans and shouldn't be pushed to the side because of political affiliations or any other reason. I want a better Puerto Rico for my mom, dad, my brothers, sister and their children, I could easily leave and get a job in the states but doesn't neglect the fact they stay behind and knowing many other families have to stay to endure this nonsense breaks my heart. Whatever you can do to spread this message so congress can finally do something, would be kindly appreciate. thanks for everyone for their words of encouragement. I really do appreciate it.

[u/ItsBobDoleYo]

I need to listen to the Hamilton CD