<font color="#FFFF00">You like 'em?</font> <font color="#00FFFF">Do I like 'em?</font> <font color="#00FFFF">Why, just the other
day I was asking myself,</font> <font color="#00FFFF">"How can I display my package in a way
that's both alluring and professional?"</font> <font color="#FFFF00">Well, there's your answer!</font> Just taking care of your gutters for free. And that's when I leave a card. I leave a card on
the fuckin' front step. Pfft! What the hell is this? Why did they—why did they—?
They added a VR mode. Every time I ever see anybody power wash,
they always do it so wrong. [clears throat] They always do this thing
where they're, like, 'Oh did I do it?' No, what you have to do is you
have to act like a—like a copy machine. You have to do—it's kind of
like robotic movements. "Jerma thinks he knows everything"? No, but I—I've—
I've power washed before. I've—I've done it before. Not professionally,
but I've—I've done it before. Trust me, I know the technique. The, 'Look, it's clean.' And then, you know, Dad comes out, and goes, 'No, it isn't.' And you're like,
'Fuck!' [slams table] And then Dad's gonna take it anyways at the end, and just do it all again. He goes, 'No, no, no, son, son, let me see
that for a second. Let me—let me see that.' 'All right, that's good.' It's like, 'Dad, you just… You just did the whole thing again.' And then—and then you go, 'No, no, no,
Dad, let—give—give me that thing,' because it's fun to do. There we go. Let's see it ding. <i>[quiet beep]</i> [laughs] Going like this! I'm doing this so wrong. All right, that's good enough. That's actually good enough. It is! No human can come out here and tell you— You're going to come out here and swab it,
and send it to a lab and test it for dirt? There's nothing else here. I'm sorry, if I see out the window
this guy lying on his back, aiming up at the same place,
I'm gonna go out, I'm gonna open the door and be like…
[snaps] 'That's good! That's good! You don't have
to do—that's all right man, don't worry.' [taps keys] Oh wait, there…
there are three stances! Okay, I—one of them's crouch,
the other one <i>is</i> lie down. I'm proning-crawling right now. [laughs]
Just like crawling around! [laughing]
Imagine looking out the window! You see, like, a guy, like, 'Let's go!' Just proning, and like… [shoots water] 'Got him!' [laughs]
This is going into their house! I'm sorry, if you're
this meticulous about this, there's water going into the house. Nobody has weather
stripping that's that good. This is going—like,
this is going in the house. In their living room. "This is like one of
those ads for mobile games where the person in the ad
is like insanely incompetent, so you want to download the game just to show that you can actually do it
unlike the dumbass in the ad." Well, then go get it! [voice cracks]
Then go get it! It's on—it's on Xbox, it's on Steam right
now, it's on fuckin' Game Pass, go get it! Why don't you do it? That's so unfair though. You know why that's unfair? Because in those mobile game ads—
And, trust me I've seen millions of them. I've seen millions of those ads. I play—All—all I do is play iPad games. You understand that they— It's usually like, 'Oh no, there's a fire!
What do we do to put the fire out?' And there's two options pop up on screen.
Here, and here. And one of them is a fire extinguisher,
and the other one is, like, a golf club. And, it' s—they try to drag
the golf club up on the fire. I'm not doing that here. I'm—I'm not doing that. It legally touched my truck,
therefore it's mine! It touched my truck,
therefore it's legally mine. "You do it in the mobile ad." No. E—Even if I were to sit here
and do this, [nozzle clicks] 'Okay… nozzle four.' 'Oh, what? It worked!' I would still be doing more than the
mobile ads always do. You understand?
Like, I'm actually still doing it. I'm still actually pressing the button,
and washing the side of the house. You know what's actually really
funny about—about mobile ads now? I think we've talked
about this a little bit, but there's a—there's a game, that I see ads for all the time now,
and it's like, [Hits hand]
'Aren't you getting sick and tired of those ads that show the slide—
the puzzle game, and it's never in the game? We have that in our fucking game! We actually have that. All these, like, posers—All—' It—It's so funny. And you know what? I— They must be pissed! Because they actually have the 'Slide the puzzle, watch out for the fire,
and get the gold game', right? And everybody else caught—is—just—is
doing that in their ads, and they just have to sit there and go 'That's our game. We actually
have that in the video game.' "They don't, it's been debunked." No, I know, but my point is that
there are companies <i>right now,</i> I'm getting ads right now of—
of somebody literally saying, 'Hey, those ads are bullshit, aren't they? I know, we have that game! It's not fair!' I swear, I promise you! "But they don't have it either." [laughs] What? Hold on a minute. But, uh, you—How—You can't— How—You—I don't know about that. I feel like that's inaccurate. You can't make an ad stating, 'Hey guys aren't you
sick and tired of those ads that show that game,
and it's not in the game? Download ours. Ours is in there,' And it's not in there—
What, that—No, no way. 'Fuck all those other games, man.
We got that in our game.' And it's not in the game? No! I—I—I cannot speak to that—
I don't know how true that is. Dude, why doesn't somebody
just make one of those? Just make a slide the puzzle game, and then you can be the savior—
the hero of the mobile game ad world. All right, now somebody has to edit— edit me in… To just, like, interior of
just, like, a living room, and you know, [muffled] just, like, uh, you know family
just kind of—like whatever sitting around— like a stock image or something. And have muffled audio of that—
what I was just doing [footsteps] and have loud kind of footsteps
[footsteps] on the top of the roof. Think that would be pretty funny. Okay, so it's—it's just the entire wall. How do I get from here to there? All right! So, should I—okay, for all you
power washers out there. It's big nozzle straight down
into sections, right? So I start here and walk backwards. "This is poop from an airplane." [laughs] Oh my god, dude. "There should be a grenade." [laughs] Why are you seriously making me
contemplate if that would work? If you had a device that
was a water grenade— but what would you use it for? It was a pressurized water system
in the thing and it was just like— [explosion sound]
Shot out. It—that—that wouldn't—it would work.
No it wouldn't. It would clean. Soap and water in the grenade. [chuckles] 'Well, hire the cleaning service.' 'Yeah!' You think the guy just
shows up he's got like [beeps] just fucking grenades on him. He's just like 'Yeah, I'm ready!' 'Everybody, if we could get out,
out of the house, that'd be great!' Everybody leaves. 'Okay, so what's the dirtiest room
in the house? Bedroom, okay.' It's just like [imitates
detonating grenade] And it's just soap. And just—the bedroom's destroyed. If—[laughs] if you—you walk out, Phil—Phil's like
in his car, doing like some paperwork and it's like 'Oh,
thanks for coming, Phil.' and he's like 'Yeah, yeah it's all good.' 'Oh, hold on a second, I just gotta—
I gotta clean my car'. You're looking—you're like 'Yeah, your
car's looking a little dirty, Phil.' 'Ah, don't worry about it, I got it.' And then just—just steps out—he just
throws the grenade in the car and it's just—cartoon, just
the car just goes like [plop sound] "That's <i>Splatoon</i>." Yeah, but nobody's going—I can't
do this on camera cause I look weird. Do you know the exact
thing I was gonna do? Everybody knows the <i>exact</i>
sound effects I was just gonna do. All of you. You saw my neck go like this, tilted. You knew exactly what was gonna happen. "We don't care, we want it." All right, mods run a poll, please. If it gets to at least 80% with
at least 5 000 votes I'll do the noise. I'll do the thing that
everyone wants me to do. Remember everybody, you saw my neck tilt. You know what could have happened. Will you play <i>Splatoon</i>
when it—I don't—I don't— I couldn't play <i>Splatoon</i>,
I don't know why. Something about it just—I just—
I kind of just didn't—I didn't get it. I know—I completely understand, but— it kind of—you know I—it kind of just triggered old memories of
playing Tony Hawk with friends and it was that mode where
if you did a trick on something it would change to their color. I—I just remember just doing
really well and just like Ba-boom orange! Ba-boom orange!
Ba-boom orange! Orange, orange and I had the whole—and then I
would turn around for five seconds and my—my <i>dickhead</i> friend has got
like a two million point combo going and he runs over every single thing I did, and I just turn around and it's all blue. And it's like, why am I
even playing the game? It's time to do it. What the fuck? 95%? Are you kidding me? [singing "Splattack!" from <i>Splatoon</i>] There you go. That's why I don't do that with
the camera on. [laughs] Oh my god. Um… "Hello, is this the Grime Bandits? I
need some help with my poor little play school." "Oh, another thing—
carefully go around the volca—" Wait, am I getting a—a bunch of work
requests? [laughs] Oh no, it's Tony Hawk. "Go careful around the volcano."
What volcano? "We went down there to enjoy a
smoky sunset, and Jenny saw a UFO p—" Why am I a part of this group text? Don't fucking group text me.
I'm so sick of this shit happening. Stop group texting people. Don't pull me—you know what the dumbest
fucking thing? I can't even understand how this
was ever a thing. You cannot leave a group text if there's
people with iPhone and Android. Why can't you just leave? Why can't you just leave? Just leave! I don't wanna keep getting pulled in! Why did I give this guy my number?
[laughs] 'Hey dude, I'm going to come do a job
for you.' 'Yeah, that sounds good.' 'I'll come do the job for you.
Here's my rate.' 'Hey man, isn't this kind of an old
building? Isn't that interesting?' 'Yes, it is very interesting.' 'Yeah. What kinda stone do you think they
made this out of?' 'I—I don't know.' I'm gonna get—look, I'm gonna get a text. I'm gonna be like,
what's your favorite pasta? And you d—you know—you like, uh, rigatoni.
Whatever. And then—and then it goes in the pocket. Rigatoni in the pocket. And then [imitating text message beeps] This guy's gonna start sending me Morse
code with the amount of times I'm gonna
get a—a message. Oh man, there's different levels
of—of—of strength you need. Okay. Did they saw a UFO here? [laughs] Dude, you came back after
a year and didn't finish. I stomped around their house,
blew up one of their windows, and just shoved the nozzle into the
chimney and ruined their furniture in their living room, and then left. I'll be back in another year. And, uh—but the group text thing,
I don't hate text people. Like, I don't hate—whatever. I just hate telephones.
I just hate phones. You know what is—you know, let me
tell you something. Some—some of you kids— You know, back—back in the day—like,
you know that everybody has a phone now. Everybody will see everything they ever
say. You know what I mean? Even if you don't have read receipts on. At—at least once or twice, at least
three or four potential times a day. People know that people all look at
their phones at least a few times a day. So there's no way you didn't see
my text, right? There's no way you didn't get my
phone call. See, back in the day, everyone had a
landline. And it would be as simple as
[imitates phone ringing]. I don't care.
I'm not answering that phone. And then it was implied that you just—
you just weren't home. Or, sometimes you'd pick the phone up. 'Hello?' 'Hi is—is—is Jeremy there?' and 'Uh no—no it's not here.'
'Oh, okay thanks.' [imitates hanging up a phone] Easy. I know you can set up like DND, right,
like do not disturb and I don't know. Shouldn't we all collectively have
this message that we all agree on, right? Everyone has a—a
message that's like a—it's a separate DND box that
you check and it's just like, 'Look, I'm just kind of don't
fucking give a shit right now like—like I don't really like
want to answer phone calls or—' I guess that's what you know like—like
a separate, like less not like serious DND. Like I just kind of
don't care like right now. I'm maybe like—I'll get
back to you in a few days. Right? So if I get that we all
agree on that text, right? Like it's signed into—like a
congress gets it and they sign a bill. And she's like,
'All right like we all know that that's like—all right whatever I'll
talk to you in a few days.' Oh no, it could be just like a single word,
like a code word. I don't like but—but—peanuts. If you get a DND back that's just peanuts. 'All right, yep. Got it.' But it sucks because somebody—people
would abuse the peanuts system, right? It'd be like, 'Hey.
Where the fuck is Jeremy? Where is he?' "No one actually cares this much
if you don't respond." [Jerma laughs] You know what
that's—that's pretty accurate. But still though. I—I never want people
to think I don't care. I do care. But like sometimes I'll get a text,
and then I'll have like Cathy Mitchell on
the iPad and it's just like 'I… fuck. But I don't even know… I uh.' Because in my brain—in my—I don't know,
maybe—maybe I'm—maybe I'm weird. But to me putting on like
DND to me and like sending a DND automatic response back
to somebody is almost like a 'Huh. Okay. Automatic response.
Not gonna even text me back? I get like an auto
responder generated message.' Like 'Hey, what are you up to?'
'I'm sorry that person is not available to speak right now
maybe he'll talk to you later.' "You missed a spot." This one's going to take a
while—it's—this is [Jerma laughs] Okay, so, right here, I could Take a picture right here just of this,
me standing in front of it being like It's like, 'Yeah, just cleaning it up
but—uh at uh—Dave's skate park. Really showing them how to do a clean job,'
Right, arms folded, like this. And the power washer
is leaning behind me and there's an ad for my business right there. And what they don't know is
that—I just—this is all this Let you know—let me—let
me talk in my real voice. I'm going to talk just in my real voice. No messing around,
no like [in a higher voice] putting on a <i>projection</i> to talk into
a <i>microphone </i>or talk or— [in normal voice] So this is what I—just—
this is what I normally talk like. This is how I just normally
speak to somebody. If I'm talking to somebody this is
how I just normally will talk. I'll be like, 'What's up man? What are you up to?' [Animal
Crossing speaking sound effect plays] "Nothing.
Are you—are you doing that thing on—on Friday?' [Animal Crossing
speaking sound effect plays] 'I was thinking about going,
but I'm not sure, yeah. Are you uh—I can pick
you up and pick up for like—at like eight' [Jerma
makes a Goofy sound] [Animal Crossing speaking
sound effect plays] 'Yeah.' [Animal Crossing speaking
sound effect plays] 'Sure, sure yeah. I mean we can get
uh—we can get a breakfast if you want?' You thought dirt and
grime could hide from me? This is where it shows a bunch of
animated dirt and they're all hiding under the railing 'He'll never get us
here! We're caked on algae!' 'Our nozzles are so strong,
we can turn steel back to its original
element: iron and copper. It splits the atoms or whatever it does.' What—wait—what is it—what is steel? Carbon, fuck. I fucked that whole joke up.
You know what I mean though. [Jerma laughs] Iron and copper—
I've played too many mobile games guys. It's one bar of copper,
one bar of iron, and you put them together
and it turns into steel. All right. Wait, this from a year ago. This is
literally from a year ago, the front part. That's—it saved for a year. Why—hold on, but why did I exist later? How come I was walking around?
Who's this walking around? They grow up so fast. [remix of<i>
'The Flintstones'</i> theme begins to play] Holy shit, this is—fucking awesome. What the hell? Who
made this? This is great. Why am I doing this—no, let's go over
here. I need soap. [Music sounds like it skips a beat]<font color="#FFFF00">
♫Wilma!♫</font> What just happened? [Singing] Wil-ma How long are they gonna
hold—I can hold a Wilma for? [Takes a deep breath]
Wilmaaaaaaaaaaaaa [Voice starts to wobble]
[Takes a deep breath in and laughs] That was fucking long, dude. Okay, do not cross this line. If I cross that line—before
doing the rest of it—right I'm gonna do it right
here—let's make—let's drop See? In here. If I start
going over that line and I like 'Oh let me tell you your story so I—' Um, I'm in trouble. Don't steal that joke,
there's a bunch—hold on there's a shitload of people here
that don't know me really. Hey, do you guys know? Don't steal that joke, I'm gonna do it. Did you guys know that every day,
you eat over an inch of dirt every meal? Every single day. Isn't that insane? Did you know that? You eat over an inch
of dirt every single day. It's crazy. Isn't that like kind of gross? It's—that's a weird statistic,
don't you think? "Speak for yourself."
No, everybody does it. We all do. Every single person eats
over an inch of dirt a day. I mean, you got to be sitting at a table. You got to be at least a few inches
off the ground eating that food, don't you? "What's the joke?" That is the joke.
Are you—were you not listening? "I don't get it." I'm not outside the line—this is
—look the line's right there, ya clown! [Jerma laughs] Somebody wrote in all caps, "What are you talking about?" What—I don't know how it—is—is
it really this hard to follow this
conversation? "I just made shrimp grits in your honor." I mean, hopefully it's good.
I don't really like shrimp that much and
I don't really like grits. But I hope it's good.
I know a lot of people like it. "Ungrateful, he made it for you." I—I'm not eating it. I have nothing to do with this. I just said I'm sure it's good.
You could be the—the most talented—
pizza crafter in the world. If somebody doesn't like pizza, they're
not gonna really want to eat pizza That doesn't mean that you—not gonna
have a very delicious dish in front of you. You really might. I'm sure it's good. What's that term like 'bad
pizza is still good pizza'? No it isn't. 'Yeah, hey man—bad pizza
doesn't matter—bad pizzas' What's that—what's the thing? 'Hey. Bad pizza's like sex. And it's still
sex, right?' [Jerma laughs in character] Then they take like the grease and they
put like a droplets of grease in their eyes I actually eat junky pizza all the time. [Jerma giggles] I actually love shitty pizza, so please.
Do not take this joke as a reality. But still though, sometimes
you get a pizza that sucks so bad And everyone's just like,
'Well [clears throat] who cares?' I mean it was still eighteen dollars. "Eighteen dollars for—" yeah,
what do you mean eighteen dollars is—is
that's pretty normal. "Chat, he's not eating it alone."
[Jerma laughs] I mean I've seen people crush a large
pizza before and I'm just like holy shit. Dude, I… let's be real? I'm telling you right now,
I have absolutely gotten really damn close to eating an entire
large cheese pizza by myself. And I could have done it,
but there's two more slices left in the box,
and you look at it and you just kind of go 'That would be bad. It already is bad,
right?' That's already bad If there's two or three slices left in the
box and you—you're the only one eating it Let's—let's box it up
and put it in the fridge Somebody said,
"he's talking about sex on a sponsored stream."
This is all—right let me—oh wait wait wait The sponsor was only for a little bit. I'm just still playing the
games—the games—I want—I want to support the game.
I think it's a great game. This is on there.
Ooh [sings] family [to the tune of The Flintstones]
From the town of Bedrock They're the modern stone age family.
When the—[starts humming] Hey Fred.
[continues humming] Barney!
[continues humming] This sound effect, the Super Nintendo
wind sound effect that was in everything. It—I this sound is so scary.
It's such a strange thing. It always gives me some kind
of—it makes me feel a certain way. "What's wrong with you, seriously?" Oh yeah I get that question a lot, but I
don't even know what that—what do you mean? I'm just sitting here and just
talking nonsense—just hanging out. Yeah, some of you guys act like
I eat—like bugs after the stream's over. Like for some reason I think a lot of you
guys think I did, 'Oh yeah, oh here it is! My dinner, the whole
plate of cockroaches!' Uh that doesn't happen I'm just—
I'm just a regular guy. No, I don't. In fact,
I'm one of those people that you know the 'Oh look,
it's the bug in the popsicle novelty item'. I would never eat that. I don't want that. I would never
eat one of those. People always point to
a tweet that I made in like 2013 where I made a
joke tweet about eating I— I mean I—I swallowed a bug and I was like, 'Okay, that was weird,
I should tweet about it.' And I'm like, 'Oh, it's the greatest thing I've ever tasted uh
what do I do about this?' That was clearly a joke
tweet from like 2012. And people point to that they're
like, 'Well he's fucking crazy.' "Those are not lollipops."
[Jerma laughs] I find like these ancient
stones in the ground. 'I don't understand why people eat these? I don't get it.' 'Uh, no dude, that's a million year
old fossil. Don't put that in your mouth. I gotta get on top of the railing. "Would you eat a bug for the haters?" No. I'm not eating any bugs. Then that's where that conversation ends. I'm not gonna eat bugs for the
haters, bugs for the fans. I'm not eating bugs—I wouldn't eat
bugs if my—if like my mother asked me to. "What about a doctor?" I would feel like I was getting pranked. The doctor comes into the office and he's
like, 'Oh, Jeremy okay you have a headache. And uh,
yeah it's time—I can cure that for you—you have to eat four
cockroaches in front of me' While I hold up a fucking
cell phone with TikTok open. Is it—what do you mean by that?
Like is—it like is there actual scientific
evidence that this works? "What if he ate them in
front of you first?" I don't care. That's all—that's the—that's
the—whatever weird shit he's doing.
I have nothing to do with that. So he comes in the
room and he's just like, 'Okay,
so we'll take a look at your blood work. And he's just crazy—he's just
eating out of his pocket? 'Yeah. Your—your HDL
cholesterol is a little high. Uh, your LDL is okay but you know—' And then he goes like this, after
talking about my blood results? I don't know what does
the doctor look like? Is he like six feet tall, like 200 lean
cut? Is—how—what does he look like? Does he have completely blemish free skin? Does he have flowing hair? And he comes up with his license
and he's like, 'Look. 60. 60. And it's—he and—he looks fucking amazing. I don't know—maybe—I'd
have to think about it. "Dude, why do you only
listen to handsome doctors?" No, I didn't say handsome.
When did I say handsome? I said he was like cut up, jacked,
healthy, blemish-free, flowing hair. He's—looks like he's—he's—and
he moves in a full stride. You know what I mean? I never said 'Wow, look at how
handsome this doctor is.' Okay so fine. So all right— So this wicked handsome doctor walks in, Okay, now what do you want me to say? And he's so fit, he just got done cycling. And he's got cycling
shorts on and a lab coat. "Stop sharing your fantasy."
[Jerma laughs] So—so my fantasy is this wicked
handsome doctor in bike shorts comes in and we eat bugs together
and have a romantic relationship? Of some kind? No-no—hold on, you're missing an
incredibly important detail. He rides his bike down the hall
of the doctor's office. You know? The door is open,
I can see out into the hallway And he's—he just slowly pulls
up on his bike—it's a huge mountain bike And he gets off—bang—kickstand goes up and
then he comes in, right? That's perfect. ["Map" theme from <i>Waterworld</i>
(SNES) plays seductively] This fucking music!
[Jerma laughs] What is playing right now? Why is this playing? ["Map" theme from <i>Waterworld</i>
seductively plays louder] Why are we getting this
fucking romance music? ["Map" theme continues
seductively] 'Ah just gotta—just got done
with a quick bike ride. Let's get a kickstand.' Comes in. Just like sweat just glistening
off his forehead. [Jerma groans] 'So, what brings you in today?' [in a higher, softer voice]
'Well, I have a little bit of a headache. Uh, it's kind of like a migraine-esque
kind of deal I got going on here.' [in a lower voice]
'One second.' Takes the bike helmet
off and just hair—just it's a fucking—it's—it's like at
least 16 to 20 inches of hair He pulls out the license. [in a lower voice]
'60, by the way.' and I'm like,
'Oh wow look at—that crazy—that's—wow you got—what a—what a head of hair!' 'Yeah. I haven't had a headache by the way,
in a long time.' ["Map" theme fades out] Different music. [tribal drums from "Mission Theme 01"
from <i>Waterworld</i> (SNES) plays] 'You want to eat some bugs?'
[laughs] Why is this music perfect
for all this going on? What the fuck is happening? [heavy metal opening from <i>Spider-Man and
Venom</i> (SNES), AKA "Carnage Rules" plays] I feel like I'm weird right now.
I'm just sitting there going like, 'Yeah.' While I'm power washing a
wall listening to <i>Maximum Carnage</i>. 'Do you guys know that Venom is [voice gets louder]
a good guy in this game? Did you know that Venom
is a good [voice gets louder] character and he's a good
guy and he's an antihero? [voice gets louder] Don't
ever say that Venom's the bad guy—he's not bad,
he's an antihero.' [hums along to "Chasing Insanity" from<i>
Spider-Man and Venom: Maximum Carnage</i>] Right here… is… Bam, like Carnage always hit me
with the—the axe arm and it always just pissed me off right there,
right when the music stopped. [heavy metal "Heroic Assault"
from <i>Maximum Carnage</i> plays] You guys don't know this is a—this
is literally just "The Mob Rules". It's a Black Sabbath song. All right so hold on—ready?
[music continues playing] I know DMCA, but still—
[video sound cuts out] So now—
[Jerma skips through the song] It's literally the same exact song [heavy metal "Heroic Assault"
from <i>Maximum Carnage</i> plays] [Jerma laughs]
It's the exact same song. [heavy metal "Heroic Assault"
from <i>Maximum Carnage</i> plays] 'Hey, this one's DMCA safe!'
[song continues playing] 'Spider-Man wrote this one—this one—Black
Sabbath has nothing to do with this! Spider-Man wrote and directed this song.' [hums "Heroic Assault" / "The Mob Rules"] "This streamer is wicked goofy." [Jerma swallows loudly and
makes Goofy sounds] That person left, and they're not
coming back, ever. And they'll probably always remember that
time when it was like 'Hey, you should check out
this guy Jerma, he's funny. I like him.' and he's like, 'I'm—I mean I went to his
stream and I'm not—I'm not a fan.' 'This guy's so crazy he's
like—such a—wow that was so weird what he did—did you—he did
like a goofy laugh to this guy. [laughs and makes a weird sound] Based.' So, I have a funny
story about—water and soap. So my mother visited here at one time. This is—I don't know—I'll say it was I don't remember exactly,
but it was like last year at some point. And my mother watches
the channel sometimes, so, She came over and she—you
know—was making references to the streams and hey yeah so you
know like look at me and stuff And I'm like, 'Oh my god, you watched—
you actually watched the streams.' So she started— she started to like understand
Twitch lingo and started to use Andy. And the reason why I'm
saying this is because—um holly was—was washing her hands,
like very very lightly right? So she's washing her hands,
and my mother comes over to her and goes, 'Oh wow. Soap Andy.' She had never said
anything 'Andy' before this. She called Holly 'Soap Andy' because
Holly used like a—two pumps of soap. It was like—honest to god
it was probably one of the cutest—just most adorable
things I've ever heard. It was just so funny. Like she had just learned the lingo She's like, 'I gotta—I got an
opportunity to use it. I saw two or three pumps of soap there. Soap Andy.' "Has she been among us the whole time?" I—I don't—kind of. So sometimes I—I will stream,
and my mother will make a reference to the stream
that I did a day or two ago. And I'm just sitting there going,
'There's no way she would know that unless
she watched the whole thing.' But then other times, I—I think
she just kind of pops in randomly. I think like once every like few
months she will watch a stream. But I will have conversations and
she will say—you know she'll say something—like there's no way you
didn't watch a lot of the stream, right? So for instance, like today.
If—if my mother were—were to get on the
phone with me and be like, 'Oh yeah, so Jeremy,
I found this new product it's called the uh, the water grenades.' I feel like you watched
a lot of the stream today. "She's a hate watcher." 'Really really bad stream today. Really not happy with
what you were saying. But it wasn't—it wasn't funny. You know I—minus two—the
most I've ever −2'd being your chat. I didn't raise you like that. I raised you to be—to
have—plus twos, Jeremy. ♪ Jerma and sexy doctor
sitting in a skate park ♪ ♪ E-A-T-I-N-G bugs ♪ [Jerma laughs] "I found that one adequately humorous."
Me too. "Why did you read that?" Because it was funny. Are you questioning me reading messages in
chat? I read a chat message that said I—said I was going to shove a baseball
up my ass. There's no—I'm—you know, that's gonna
get you banned, right. But—I'm—doesn't mean I'm not gonna read
it and be shocked by it. I keep—I—that lives rent-free
in my head, you have no idea. You guys have no idea—I've said it
yesterday, it's rent free. Every day I think about
somebody just typing out,
'Oh no yeah dude let me help you out here. Oh you're like a new viewer?
Yeah let me help you. He's gonna shove a whole baseball up his ass,
that's the baseball stream.' There's so much—there's so
many layers to why that's funny. It's one of the funniest things
I've ever heard, okay—probably in chat because there's
so much of it going on there. It's—this big stream event. I keep hyping it up, 'Man,
on the baseball stream man, be ready!' It's gonna be me putting
a baseball in my ass? And I'm hyping it up for months and
months and months and months in a prof— Like in a baseball field or even not—
am I just here? That's what makes me laugh so much is—
I'm— 'The baseball stream,
oh he's gonna play baseball.' No it's me in this chair
putting a baseball in my ass. You understand how much is going on here? And why—why would I hype that up so much? 'Hey guys—hey oh yeah
welcome to the baseball stream! It's time, get hype it's the baseball
stream! I've been talking about
this for a long time. You know, the stream where I
shove a baseball up my ass. It's like, what the fuck—why would— And that person's banned
from the channel, right? Mods, like,
please refresh my memory —that person has been permanently banned
from this—from Jerma985, right? They are permanently banned. They— they're—they're—they're
not allowed here ever again. Oh—wait—they weren't? Oh. They're all saying I don't know. [Jerma laughs]
Wait a minute. Hold on, this person has been unbanned,
and they asked if I was going to play <i>World
of Warcraft</i> the other day. "Jerma play <i>World of
Warcraft</i>" from ballfondler Yeah—they—yeah. "Average WOW player." [Jerma takes a deep
breath and starts laughing] [while laughing]
Wait.. Um—what are you implying with that? Average WOW player? But why—what do you mean—why are you saying
that because of the ball go—the baseball? What is that supp- Okay. Hey by the way, I was a huge <i>World of</i> <i>Warcraft</i> fan,
buddy so let's relax for a sec. No,
you're making it live rent-free in my brain again—I'm seeing the original messages.
[Jerma laughs] Dude, what the fuck—this guy
should be banned like permanently Okay, how many times have they said this? How many times have they said this —wait a minute [Jerma laughs
hysterically] What the fuck? [voice breaking]
I don't think I can show this on stream I don't know—I can't—I can't show that
on stream, that's gonna get <i>me</i> in trouble. Not—not just this guy. [takes a deep breath]
This is the original message. [Jerma starts laughing]
But it gets—like—uh This—this just kept going, I didn't
know this kept going. I can't show the rest of these,
but he goes on. He goes on—oh my god—he
goes—he goes on to say, "How many baseballs do you think you'll
be able to do," @Jerma985? What the fuck? How many do you think? It's hard to fit so many up there,
don't you think? His—it's pretty gruesome—okay,
you know what? "I bet he's going to do
vocal warm-ups, OMEGALUL."
