Police, What's the Stupidest Criminal You've Faced?

police officers of reddit what's the stupidest unluckiest criminal you faced kid gets arrested for shoplifting and the first thing he says to the cop is i didn't steal that freaking car this morning the cops originally had zero reason to suspect this kid stole and crashed a car until he said that it went from misdemeanor to felony in about two minutes the kid distracted the cop from the sharp lifting his strategy worked instead of sharp lifting on his record he only has grand theft auto i was working as a mechanic about 15 years ago i worked on a ford explorer that reeked off weed looked in the center console and found a couple of glass pipes and an empty baggie fixed the issue it came in for and the kid that owned it came to pick it up first thing he does is check the center console he gets out and says i stole all his weed my boss comes down and asks if i took it nope tell him they can check my locker my toolbox my pockets and i'll take a drug test not good enough for the kid he calls the cops to report the theft of his weed a couple officers actually show up and start investigating kid shows them his center console where the weed was and since i was the only one to work on it i must have taken it i told them the same i told my boss they did a cursor research went back to the kid and cited him for possession of paraphernalia i got a random two days later i worked there for about six more years haha officers this guy stole my weed look here's my pipes and stuff but no weed so obviously he stole it jesus christ man a 9-1-1 call from some little kids playing on the phone the father was asleep and they kept trying to wake him up when the 911 operator asked to speak to an adult he kept yelling no leave me alone now we have to send someone since we can't verify there's no emergency upon arrival officers ask for it and the mother has a warrant one of my co-workers was a passenger in a car the car got pulled over for some reason the driver had a suspended license the cop asked my co-worker if he had a license to drive the car shaw did handed the cop his license oops he had a warrant for failure to appear not a cop heard a great story from one though officer pulled a girl going 15 plus over the speed limit on the highway after she got her ticket and was free to go the girl tore off speeding again and got pulled by another officer a few miles later somehow she still didn't learn her lesson the third officer to pull her that day arrived at her window nearly crying with laughter saying you do know we have radios right that is amazing i kinda want to know what they were thinking working in a prison i met a complete idiot who was in for arsene and attempted murder this guy was gay and had been living with his new boyfriend he also had some mental issues and smoked a lot of weed which would make him paranoid he became convinced that his boyfriend was having an affair with a guy who lived in the apartment across the hall and one day he was home alone and thought he could hear them having a conversation in there he broke in and found that the guy had just left the tv on but because he was already and he thought he'd trash the guy's apartment anyway he made a mess of the place then turned the gas on lined up a bunch of gas canisters and lit a small fire in the dining room the fire alarms went off the building was evacuated and the guy went outside with everyone else to wait for the firefighters to turn up he tried to light a cigarette but realized that he had left his lighter back upstairs so he went back inside to get it he made it to his floor just as the apartment exploded and one of the gas canisters he'd left in there flew through the door and hit him in the head luckily he'd done a crappy job of trying to cause an explosion most of the damage was to his own apartment through a shared wall and the only person he'd managed to injure was himself his boyfriend was at work and the guy across the hall wasn't even gay that sounds like a lifetime movie villain jesus or like home alone i'm not a cop but i recently went to a sheriff training center to take the test to become one one of the other candidates thought it was a good idea to bring nunchucks he decided to whip them out and show them off to some deputies who were posted outside the center he was arrested one cop walked in and said if you think it's a good idea to bring illegal weapons to the cop test then you may as well not even be here today thailand nunchucks are illegal in car the day guns legal nunchucks illegal america is a strange place military police here i was on patrol by myself working a night shift i get a call on the radio to head to my squad and to pick up a person that would be riding along with me as i arrive i noticed that it was the base commander he wanted to ride along on patrol and get first hand look at what his enlisted cops had to deal with on a saturday night in base housing this sort of thing never happens you'll have better odds winning the lottery without playing but for the dang base commander to come out and do this sort of thing so i pulled up to one of the more famous intersections in the housing area for people running the stop sign we're sitting in the car and making small talk when he spot a car that didn't make a complete stop he tells me to stop him and find out what their deal is he approaches the car with me and we begin to talk to the driver instantly i smell alcohol emitting from his breath i begin to say to myself that this guy is the unluckiest man in the military right now to get pulled over by the base commander while driving drunk after conducting the standardized field sobriety tests on him and seeing how bad he did on them he begins to break down emotionally the base commander gets on the phone with this guy's squad and commander to include everyone in his chain of command and have them meet with him in his office in about 30 minutes i'm putting the cuffs on this guy with another patrol as my backup when the suspect turns to this and tells us that he was set to retire the following month after 24 years of service now i don't know the outcome of this guy's situation but i can definitely say it wasn't good not trying to sound mean but after 24 years of service he should have known better than to frick around right before he retires not an officer but my ex-boss's son got arrested he didn't have a license because of a prior driving under the influence of drugs conviction and was on his way to college in colorado he was still in kansas and his mother who had sworn to boss she would not let him drive got tired and let him drive so he goes too fast and gets pulled over no license well that's trouble the cop asks permission to search the vehicle and they find pot he was in an area where simple possession was still a misdemeanor so still not too bad then the cop asks him about his partners and brain-dead kid says oh officer i don't smoke it i just have it so i can sell it when i get to school if i need money instant felony oh no that sounds just like my cousin he told the cop no that's not mine i'm just taking it to my friends that made it attempt to distribute there's this guy that was speeding and got pulled over he had no idea and money on him so he called his wife told her he got caught for speeding and asked her to get him his items in the meantime he started to chat with the cops he got all interested in how their equipment works and does he seem to be a nice guy the cops let him point the laser gun at a car that was speeding into their direction long story short he caught his own wife who was in a rush to bring him his id and money and if she forgot to read and money then the vicious cycle continues my dad was a police officer and one of my favorite stories of his is when he was chasing a guy who ditched his car and took off during a traffic stop the guy ran about one block jumped over a concrete barrier and dropped it was a good 20-foot fall down to the freeway and the guy broke his leg my dad ran over and looked down as the guy crawled to the middle climbed rolled over between the concrete barriers blocking the two directions he called down that's a good spot just hang out there and then radioed for his partner to bring the car around overall the guy was fine but my dad said he lived in the area and either panicked and forgot where he was or knew he was jumping that far and thought he would make it blindly jumping into oblivion like that happens more often than one would think i'm one of two civilian employees at a pd we get our regulars and this guy is one of them recently he got out of jail and decided he was going to go visit his girlfriend that same day the only problem is she had a no contact order out against him she calls the police and they come to pick him up he also had some other illegal things on him so he got taken straight back to jail he'd only been out for a few hours but wait there's more so his girlfriend has a no contact order against him which isn't like a restraining order where you can't go within a certain distaste of them it's literally no contacting them well this smart guy decides he really wants to talk to his girlfriend so he called her from jail three times she called the police again and they went back to the jail and added more charges violation of a protective order x4 he was smart enough to violate a protective order while he was in jail group of friends mug a couple of tourists one of the muggers is for some reason carrying his own passport which he drops as they run off not quite the same but i'm continually amazed at the number of drug users who expect to get their stash returned the first time you're caught with a small quantity of cannabis in the uk you normally get given a caution there and then on the street you don't get arrested or anything i've dealt with more than a couple of people who genuinely expected that interaction will end with me handing back their drugs you seem to have some crappy friends my family is good friends with the local sheriff he's told me a story where an officer pulled over a man who was quite obviously under the influence when he went to the car to talk to the man he noticed him making a stabbing motion towards his leg the man had stabbed himself with a screwdriver and tried to say he'd been stabbed at a bar and was heading to the air he was heading out of town in the direction where the next hospital or clinic was about 45 minutes away and that's why his driving was wonky if he'd been caught with another dui he'd have lost his license he ended up losing his license anyways and had a lot of hospital bills to pay we've had several over the years who have broken into a house or car and then left on foot following a snowstorm no need for a canine to track them down also had a guy who had sharp-lifted and he knew we were looking for him in the mall we found him hiding in a store and also found the weed he had tried to hide in the pocket of a jacket near where he was hiding he denied the weed being his until i open up the paper it was crumpled up in it was his bond paperwork from the day before where he had been arrested for shoplifting i took him back in front of the same judge who had released him so he could be arraigned on his new charges she was not happy with him and revoked his prior bond also had a guy dine in dash but left his wallet with it on the table not a cop but knows several because of a convenience store job i held where cops came frequently for free coffee and soda it's related we were really desperate for third shifters to the point where my boss hired a friend of my co-worker kid was a complete freaking [ __ ] had a face to two was small and he was told to keep it covered with makeup which to his credit he did had to have concepts explained to him multiple times could barely count change so we had to put him in the back doing stocking one day i get called and because he had apparently been arrested he had apparently offered to sell drugs to another customer in the store in full view of one of the four police officers that were in the store that day they searched his car and found a mess of pills and pot according to one of the cops he claimed that he didn't know that they were in there since it was his mother's car so they searched her house and found more both were arrested we responded to a bank robbery in progress caller surprisingly gives us a good description of both the suspect and the vehicle he got in luckily i was only a couple blocks away i pull on scene and holy crap matching car is still right out front i pull and draw down on the suspect backup gets there and we get him into custody no issues after speaking with the suspect he was still sitting there because his car wouldn't start and he was sitting there cranking the key trying to get it to start tldr when you rob a bank leave your car running then we could have a funny story about a bank robber getting his car stolen while doing the robbery not an officer but my roommate in college was trying to steal a street sign with a couple other guys a cop car rolled up with its lights on and they all fled in different directions roommate ran a block away through backyards and hid in an open garage he thought he was free but a cop on foot found him almost immediately it had snowed hard earlier that night and he just followed the tracks right to the garage guy tried to steal a frozen chicken by putting it under his hat cooled his head too much and he had a blackout before he could leave the store i heard a good story once that took place in my hometown from the halcyon days when light up sneakers were not just for kids a gentleman with such footwear decided it would be wise to flee on foot from a traffic stop into the pitch dark woods this happened last week we get a call to the projects at 620 hours for a domestic unknown drug apartment while we are responding our dispatcher is advising us that the caller complainant owns the apartment and that the couple that are staying with her are having the domestic as we are getting closer the dispatcher tells us that the couple is breaking everything in the apartment we get there everyone is calm but the apartment has some furniture broken we run everyone's licenses the caller complainant has an active warrant she gets arrested and proceeds to resist because she is high the boyfriend has an order of protection against him from his girlfriend who he is standing next to he gets arrested the girlfriend admits to breaking the furniture she gets arrested three for three hilarious my uncle is a beat cop he once had to intervene in a brawl between drunk chaps and a knight apparently two drunk louds decided to harass a street performer dressed in a genuine looking plate armor it quickly evolved into a hilarious fight where the chavs would wail at the impervious night and injure themselves by punching edges of steel plate before they were separated one of the chavs was badly messed up by being headbutted by a guy in a steel helmet wisely my uncle and his partner decided to let the night go since the guy would normally face charges for using a weapon of swords during a brawl your uncle is a very good man my dad was a cop in the housing projects in brooklyn once there was a report of trespassing and him and his partner had to clear every floor of this building they get to the roof and find a man shoving a full and peel banana up his butt my dad loved telling me this story and it never fails to make me giggle we never did find out why he was doing it though saw a guy pushing his car through an intersection when my light turned green i naturally went to investigate guy had the hood put up and flagged us down and asked for a jump ran the plates as a sop thing and tags are clean but they go to blue toyota and this is a gold suzuki run the vin on the car and it comes a stolen guy says his sister let him drive her car we say no problem we'll sort it all out if that's the case eventually he asks how he can get his stuff out of the trunk we say he can get it back after we sort it out since it's his sister's car right then he tells us now the car belonged to some white dudes i have a bunch of stories my dad is a rcmp officer and was stationed in alberta for most of his career on one occasion some guy was sitting in his attic with a gun waiting to kill police officers that were on their way to his residence the dog handler was one of the guys that arrived on scene and sent his massive german shepherd into the house this thing was apparently pitch black and absolutely ferocious the dog later died on duty and has a statue in bc anyways this dog got into the attic and chased the gunman down clamped onto his shoulder with his teeth and started tearing him apart the guy panicked fumbled with his gun and in the ensuing chaos blew his own head off dog was called off and my dad arrived in time to see the guy's body being pulled out of the attic group of girls hands me a set of keys they took from a sloppy drunk kid who'd been unsuccessfully hitting them in a popular college bar and tried to get into his car and drive off said one of them flirted with him on the driver's side while her friend snuck in on the passenger's side find the kid passed out behind the wheel of a car parked nearby passenger doors wide open but driver's door is closed and locked knocked on the window strobed my flashlight at him for several minutes notice he's got half a dollar bill sticking out of the cd player like his final act of consciousness was hoping for a snickers finally he wakes up looks at me thinks i'm telling him to move along and tries to start the car but fails because there's no keys then he can't figure out how to unlock the car from inside i figure i'll help him out and use the keys to unlock it only to find out i'm holding gps and he's sitting in a chrysler he blames the bar for letting him get so crappy still had no idea that wasn't his car shows me a military active duty marine corridor instead of his regular dl in hopes of getting out of trouble he's 19 has no friends to call and doesn't know where he's staying spends the rest of the trip to holding begging me not to tell his company military police here thing about getting into trouble in the service is that for some things like a dui you get into trouble both with us and the local law enforcement there was this real junior guy who was driving back to his barracks room drunk somehow he went completely off the road and crashed into a fire hydrant fricked up his new car and did the pretty considerable amount of property damage too anyways this guy decides that before we get there he is going to leave that's not so dumb the dumb parts when he walks back to the scene an hour later claiming he had his car stolen and this was the first he had seen it not only did he still have his keys on him and i guess there was a witness that put him at the scene but he is also very visibly drunk and injured he was also underage which on the civilian side might not count for much but in the military you can get in a lot of trouble just for that but when we bring him back to the station he refuses to tell us who gave alcohol to a minor which i guess means he's loyal but when he's in that much trouble already he really should have just told us anyways so in the end the guy not only has to pay hefty ticket gets knocked down in rank has to pay for his car in the property damage but i'm pretty sure he got a dishonorable discharge as well getting that kind of discharge takes away pretty much all your benefits and makes it ridiculously hard to find a job yep get a dishonorable and it's like having a felony on your record to potential employers not a cop but i have a few that stand out from friends cops i've interacted with first our bases mental health psychologist was married to a highway patrol man one time they were out of the local harbor with their kids about to enjoy a late lunch as they are walking up about 100 yards away they see a guy stumbling to his car he proceeds to get in and then instead of backing out he goes forward into a planter and tree her husband casually walks over reaches in and takes the keys cuffs the guy and calls the local police he learned as a rookie always carry his set of cuffs even off duty you never know next one i was performing honor guard duties for veterans day and they had us presenting the colors with a bunch of local officers before the event we are all hanging out in a room and we ask what's the funniest most freaked up story you have one local cop says i have this and no one will top it he told us how he had to arrest a 19 year old for having sex with a 12 year old in the 19 year olds van when they arrested the 19 year old he stated but i thought she was 14 in california the law is if there is a five year or less difference they won't prosecute unless the parent's victim wants to unfortunately that only applies to minors who are 16 and up so 14 still very illegal not a cop but it was a story in my town's newspaper so this genius gets the bright idea to shoplift some movies and video games from my local walmart he puts the items in his shopping cart picks up a box cutter from the tool isle and finds a blind spot in the toy section while trying to remove the box cutter from its package he slices his hand open in his ensuing panic he throws blood all over the place and runs to the restroom security is alerted of the open package and all they have to do is follow the blood trail and they find the culprit crying and licking his wounds in one of the restrooms stalls on top of the shoplifting charge he was also ordered to pay for all the items that got blood on them i think it was around 250 dollars tl dr shoplifter sucks at hide and seek i don't think they can charge him with shoplifting if he didn't technically steal anything yet he was still in the store with all the items would never hold up in court my sister is a cop she once turned on her lights to respond to a robbery and a nearby car took off dispatch told her to pursue the car as others were also responding to the robbery after a high-speed chase through a residential neighborhood he takes off on foot and escapes in the car he left a trunk full of ecstasy and his payoff girlfriend who tells where he lives guy is busted on all kinds of charges for the chase and one of the biggest ecstasy busts in the department's history all because he saw the lights on the squad car and panicked if you are new to the channel you can subscribe i publish new videos every day until then check another video [Music] bye for now

Channel: On Tap Studios

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Keywords: dumbest criminals, dumbest criminals caught on camera, dumbest criminals ever, dumbest criminals live pd, #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, sub, reddit cringe, memes, comment awards, dankify, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, chill, story, stories, reddit on tap, reddit stories 2021

Id: 2n2eIlAuKXU

Length: 23min 27sec (1407 seconds)

Published: Tue Apr 06 2021