Police, How Did a Suspect Incriminate Themself? (r/AskReddit)

police officers what's the dumbest thing you've ever seen a criminal do or say sir my personal favorite was when a bloke on a motorbike swerved in front of our squad car and crashed we hopped out pick the bike up off him it was penning his leg and asked you alright mate to which he replied of course I'm all right what do you mean well you just fell off your bike mate no I didn't he just kept insisting that there was no way he could have crashed and it must have been someone else I am NOT a police officer that I called the cops on my roommate in college because she tried to attack me and she wouldn't cooperate with the cops so she got cuffed and was screaming about how she was gonna beat my butt they were like yeah you were gonna beat a butt and she was agreeing on Mayo in court later the judge asked her so you think it's okay to beat someone's but if they turn your TV off when you're not there and she nodded and said yes I do and the judge just deep side friend who is an officer told me this one a little bit ago he was driving near where unknown car thief lived so he stops by SUV in the driveway with no tags walks up runs the VIN stolen now the property had a house on it and then out back a small mother-in-law suite where said thief lived officer walks out back knocks and then hears a car door officer starts running engine starts and yup thief is driving away in the stolen SUV officer knows where he ditches stolen cars at so has an officer stake out that area sure enough two hours later the SUV rolls up with a Jeep following it SUV driver wipes down the - wipes down the outside door handle and gets in the Jeep officer pulls them over and arrests them both why both the Jeep is stolen officer runs her license send another officer to her address and guess what she had a stolen car at her place - three stolen cars were covered - people in jail all because one officer decided to stop by a thief's last address all because one officer decided to stop by a thief's last address imagine how many changes in how many people's lives that set off butterfly effect and all that I was waiting to report an incident at a local police station when a clearly distraught man came in wheezing and sweating I wasn't in a rush so I'll let him go ahead of me I've been robbed they took everything he exclaimed when he reached the counter the officer working the desk asked him the usual what where why and how sort of questions the gentleman proceeds to explain that he was a local em dealer and he just got robbed off his entire stash while selling to some teams at the local train station the officer just said that there's not anything they can do about that and it's in his best interest to just leave before more questions are raised and he incriminates himself further he was fuming and stormed out of the place slamming the door behind him I reached the counter and made an offhand comment towards the office that must be a first for you apparently not apparently drug dealers often come in to report theft of their illicit substances I'm confused as to why they don't arrest them when they confess like that not my story but my police officer friends he had gone in to arrest someone for dealing drugs he was in full uniform whilst someone else had already been in there undercover the drug dealer looks at the undercover police officer and says you undercover yes well done he looks at my uniformed friend and says you undercover - he was not then he looks at someone else not a police officer and says in view guy responds with how am i an undercover police officer I just bought drugs off of you and that's how they made an unexpected arrest at that raid what a twist two idiots for the price of one not a police officer but my father was a nine one one dispatcher operator my dad was working one night and he gets a call from a man who is obviously drunk dad 9-1-1 what is your emergency drunk yeah you HH I think I just heard a red car crash dad you heard a red car crash drunk yet dad okay but police are on their way click my dad finds out later that this dude was driving drunk and crashed his car not far from his house guy decides to get out of his car tumblehome and our 9-1-1 to report the fact that he heard a car crash in his drunken mind he figured he'd report the crash as someone who heard it in he'd get off somehow but he had to specify the color because apparently a red car crashing sounds different than a blue car crashing not a cop student paramedic here once went to a family with a two year old with difficulty breathing walked into the house to find four people in the parents smoking weed with the baby in the room baby was crying and coughing spluttering couldn't believe my eyes my mentor swiftly rang for police backup and we filled out some safeguarding paperwork concerns pretty sure they arrested them on scene for neglect dad's a detective had a murder case where a dog walker found a severed head in a park over the rest of the morning they found a full set of chopped up body parts around that Park a trail of blood led from each part and they followed them all the way back to a nearby house in through the door and up the stairs to a room covered in blood with a guy asleep in a bed it turns out this guy had got drunk with a friend had an argument killed him chopped him up and hid his body parts in the park before passing out back at the house police caught him literally red-handed apparently he was really confused how they got him so quickly I read a theft suspect a Miranda rights to which she stated in a recorded interview I'm invoking my right to silence and a lawyer because I stole a lot of crap and I don't want to incriminate myself suspect was caught for drug possession on the streets and we were talking to the prosecutor to get a warrant for his house somehow he managed to call his wife without our notice and as we realized what happened we heard him saying honey go take the fish out of the fridge after we've got the warrant and searched his house there was his fridge full of speed and the plate with fish which his wife had prepared for his return thrown in the trash I stopped someone who was in the area of a load of theft from Motor Vehicles after a bit of questioning I carried out a search and found numerous wallets phones etc he claimed that all of the cards raised all thirteen different identities to be fair he stuck to his story he carried it all the way to court going not guilty okay then mr. Jones you are under arrest for 12 counts of theft mr. Fletcher you are also under arrest for 12 counts of theft mrs. Rodriguez you are under arrest for 12 counts of theft stopped a lady for speeding 15 miles per hour over the limit I asked what a reason could be for going so fast she said I live here you can't give me a speeding ticket I live just down the street I live here this is unbelievable I live here I was pulled over for doing 65 miles per hour in a 30 honestly didn't realize it I had just left my dad's new house new area and it was like 11 p.m. cop asked me why I was going so fast I said I honestly have no excuse I missed the speed limit signs I guess and I was let go with a warning and cop you can't arrest me I'm in a church I have sanctuary all right you have 40 days to either submit to the authorities and face trial or go into exile by the shortest route and never return without the King's permission if you should attempt to leave the church proper within this 40 days you will be broken upon the wheel all the people from to catch a predator NBC has online transcripts and they still come up with the stupidest excuses Chris Hansen sir what else could you mean by asking the girl if she was a virgin and then telling her you wanted to penetrate her anally predator I'm just here to watch football man she told me she was 18 Hansen in the transcripts you clearly say she's 13 you could get in trouble for this and asked her not to tell anyone we need an entire subreddit just for those transcripts I used to work in arraignments and a guy was entering his not guilty plea and confirming that he was true build that they have the right name on his charging instrument after that the court asks if you can afford an attorney and ask some quick questions before giving you paperwork to request a court-appointed attorney this guy was booked on unlawful use of a motor vehicle Class E basically stealing car stereos the judge asks him if he's employed he says no the judge asks him what he does for money oh I steal car stereos at rest stops and sell them motor vehicle stopped license and registration please proceeds to lean over to the passenger seat scoop up a handful of low mine and tries to put it in the officers hand he was locked up for we fourth offense to this day I still wonder if he thought he was passing his correct paperwork or if the Chinese food was some sort of peace offering not a police officer been a witness to a crime who had to give evidence in court basically witnessed a girl crashing her car and barrel rolling it into a tree she was clearly drunk the firemen arrived after ten minutes her car had leaked petrol everywhere then her husband shows up on foot and tries to calm her down followed by her mother in a car and the police she tried to claim that she wasn't the one driving even though no one else had been in the car in court a year later she said her mother had been driving the one who showed up in her own car ten minutes after the crash she also punched an officer in the face and was pepper sprayed but that's a whole other story needless to say she was found guilty what trash claiming her mother was the one driving dispatcher had a guy call in and tell us that he's currently violating the protective order by being with his ex who is pregnant by him wants us to call the judge and get it dismissed so they can go inside the restaurant and eat officer is standing next to my partner who answered the call and asks the guys where he is so we can send the judge to him guy hangs up responded to an apartment complex for a kid eating a corn dog and was stuck on the roof the FT arrives and gets the kid off the roof I all the kids whine he was eating a corn dog on the roof his answer was because I threw it up there his look of dad left me speechless can't argue with kids logic DUI trial defendant chooses to represent herself she tries to introduce evidence during the trial but is quickly blocked by the prosecution the judge may be taking pity on the flaming train wreck that was this woman's defense asks to see the evidence it was a receipt from the bar she left before I stopped her that showed that she purchased two large margaritas a whole defense was I couldn't have been drunk after only two margaritas she was found guilty my initial reason for stopping her was that she drove down an embankment on the side of the road to get to a McDonald's drive-through having work drive-through - unfortunately report that stone-cold sober people will drive over embankments to enter exit the drive-through my friend is sober driving and there's not enough seats so two people offer to go in the boot on the way she gets pulled over and the officer comes up to the window and asks if she knows why he pulled her over she says because of the two people in my boot the cop says no because you failed to indicate at the last intersection but tell me more about the people in your boat these are my parents but those are not my pockets can't make this crap up my ex - the cop who pulled him and his friends over I'm so freakin high right now so can I see your driver's license I don't have one then why were you driving I washed I was traveling mfw I'm in a self-driving car and it doesn't pull over for the cop resulting in a high-speed chase second head story as I was the victim of burglary it hurt us from the police officer I saw the guy breaking into my place on a security camera and called em they managed to arrest the guy while he was still inside packing up my stuff he was pretty cocky to the police as that he thought that as he hadn't actually left with his bag of swag my stuff that he hadn't committed a crime yet all he did was broke a window my grandpa was the cop he told me a story about how when he was still in uniform filling up his squad car someone tried to rob him with a knife needless to say that didn't work out for him edit some people were a bit confused my grandpa just pulled his gun and arrested the man sorry for the confusion apparently it went something like this robber give me your wallet grandpa what robber give me your wallet grandpa are you sure you want to do that robber yeah now hand it over grandpa okay pulls the gun out you're under arrest robber shocked face drugs are a heck of a drug my brother is a Detroit cop told me this one they get a call from someone reporting their car was stolen they show up and it turns out someone had already stolen the tires off the car then a different group stole the actual car they pushed it to blocks without tires and left perfect grooves in the street all the way to their garage their defense was but we didn't steal the tires Detroit when we robbed you we really robbed you not a cop but a corrections officer two inmates got into a fight in a hallway I was the closest to them and only saw the start of the fight out of the corner of my eye in my report I wrote that I saw the two inmates fall to the ground with named on top of other inmate later the hearing sergeant was reading the report to one of the inmates so they could dispute any facts in the report they felt were untrue or biased he asked the inmate if they wanted to dispute any facts in my report the inmate said yeah we didn't fall to the ground I grabbed the other inmate and slammed his bus on the floor what would have been a simple fighting charge turned into an assault charge woman is waiting for her DUI trial in the courtroom the lawyers and judge are milling around and getting their paperwork in order trial starts in 10-15 minutes the prosecuting attorney asks her if she wants to take the plea deal one last time she refuses and goes on about how this is unconstitutional and the police and courts are corrupt and how is she going to take her kid to school blah blah she is starting to cause a bit of scene yelling acting like a child just being generally annoying someone in the room gets a whiff of alcohol she is out on bond so she can basically be given a PBT at any time for any reason judge orders one on her she registers a zero point two to six in court this woman who is on trial for DUI had the audacity to drive to court drunk and then moan and groan about how she isn't being treated fairly and we're all corrupt and this is unconstitutional but not only that but it explicitly states in your bond conditions that you cannot consume alcohol so I cuff her and bring her to the jail she's still running her mouth during the walk over I had nothing to say I had absolutely zero sympathy for her I could barely hold in my laughter on the walk over to the jail my personal winner right here the confession is my own cop you are going 95 miles an hour do you know what the speed limit is me number cop it's 55 miles per hour me sorry sir I thought it was a 65 not a cop but I used to read a lot of police reports at my old job my favorite was a woman who refused to brief Elizab I telling the cop I won't blow on that but I'll blow on your dong in a city near to me a guy murdered a woman put her body in a large garment bag and left her in a vacant lot unfortunately for him he forgot to take the tags with his name and address off the bag from a recent flight I would be bank robber wrote his holdup note and put it into his wallet he got rattled at the bank and accidentally left his driver's license on the counter when he handed the note to a teller a third crook just took on more than he could handle and apparently didn't watch the time he had a long history of grand theft auto and was hospitalized after being badly beaten in the parking lot of a sports area after a lacrosse game the guy swore up and down that he had no idea why anyone would assault him there in court defendant called the judge Your Majesty instead of your honor honestly I imagine this happens a fair amount just out of brain blank in an uncomfortable atmosphere you stumble over word and a similar common phrase comes out instead my boyfriend is a police officer last week he pulled over a drunk driver who ended up speeding off car chase back to his house some drunk guy tells him I got home it's okay you can go now the drunk guy continues arguing and it's 3:00 a.m. so his family wakes up and his son steps out to the front porch of yells damn it dad you freaking idiot we told you to stop doing this how I can't arrest me houses base the serial killer BTK he used to send taunting letters to the media and to the police about his crimes he seemingly stopped all activity for around ten years when he started to communicate again he asked the police if he could be traced if he sent them a floppy disk and they told him no he sent them a floppy disk and they recovered data that included his name and his church he was quickly arrested armed robbery show up Clark tells the robbers if you come back at 7:30 p.m. I will have more money in the register guys robbers leave police is standing by at 7:30 p.m. armed robbers return to the store and get arrested edit very sorry for P a few people off by forgetting to mention than not me but this happened recently in Belgium and it was on the news as explained further by unite bringer MC I thought it was still fitting in this thread my bill is a cop in a small town pulled a car over one night recognized the kid smelled weed inside the car and said give me the weed and I won't search your car won't give you a ticket and you can be on your way kid fights him says he doesn't know what that smell is there's no weed and how can I trust that you won't take me to the station if I give it to you bill promises again that if he hands him the weed he will let him go no questions asked kid keeps being a [ __ ] bill searches the car and finds many many many more drugs hidden all over as well as weed bill says all right let's go to the station kid gets upset and says you said you weren't going to do this see I couldn't trust you I groan and laugh every time I think of that what a dummy my bro arrested this girl for DUI she was so drunk he skipped the field sobriety test as he walked her to his patrol car the girl says wait you haven't read me my ABCs yes oh this one is my own the first time I got pulled over for a random breath test I was really excited new driver and was totally sober this hot cop comes up to my window and holds out the device and tells me to count to 10 I didn't know there were new brief thal eyes errs without a straw so I said oh now I thought I'd get to blow something he laughed and my brother who was in the passenger seat died off shame arrested a guy for shooting H in the parents room of a shopping center walked in while he had the needle in his arm we stare at each other for a bit then he comes out with I'm a diabetic I cut him leave my partner to do the search while I read caution and writes old mate is not diabetic and we know this because he's got 87 prior convictions for use possession trafficking drugs I go through the usual you do not have to say or do anything steal then say do you understand these rights he's totally cooked on H at this point and he just looks at me and goes you want to get dinner tonight it's not the worst response I've had to caution and rights though not a cop but my brother was he told me that this one time he took lunch at Popeye's while in uniform except for the Hat once inside the cashier started taking his order then stopped halfway and turned to a co-worker that just walked up I don't remember exactly what was said but basically the guy taking my brother's order asks the other guy if he took his weed they other guy says yes but he didn't smoke it all and proceeded to hand him over the weed the guy then says cool not to worry that he's got another stash in his car for emergencies like this my brother then said that he just wanted to eat some lunch the guys then realised he was the cop one guy said something like not again as my brother started arresting the cashier he said that he thought my brother was the security guard so my brother just trying to make a joke out of it says oh you smoked pot with your security guard to which the guy says no just my manager and his buddy but the real funny part was when he asked another employee there if the God was around and the employee said they didn't have one and didn't know what that cashier was talking about not an officer just security many moons ago when in questioning my cousin told police you don't have my fingerprints I wore gloves came in to be voluntarily arrested so he could be interviewed decided to bring his empire and em with him didn't get charged for what he came in for but did get charged with possessed drugs and possessed paraphernalia witnessed a hilarious one go down to kids I will call one and Kyle getting escorted out of him all near me apparently nothing too bad just suspect that they had stolen some shoes from a store while they're being escorted one tries to rip away from one of the security guards and starts screaming if you're gonna handle lemme you might as well detain any so the kids would have just been escorted off property and asked to leave no banned from the mall or anything until he then tried to assault the security guard by pushing her and almost throws a punch the third guard of the case who I will properly call Goliath proceeds to basically chokeslam this kid into the ground a cops were then called kids were arrested and had their crap searched the second best part they had proof they purchased for shoes and didn't show their receipt even though they had it the best part both the dumb purses had a ton of weed in their bags that the cops found in my country it is illegal to drive a bike motor whilst smoking a friend of mine got pulled over all the short ride from the bar to his apartment driving on a small moat basically a bicycle with a 50 CCM engine and cop asked him why is he not wearing a helmet and why's he smoking a cigarette officer I swear I never smoked while driving I only smoked when I had a couple of drinks copied mine from a previous similar thread in law enforcement but not a regular cop middle of search warrant looking for a bloke lots of drug convictions in the past found us still burning blunt in the ashtray in the living room but no sign of the guy in the house I am 99% sure he is in the roof cavity I announced to my partner I think he is up there should we look suddenly the ceiling starts talking here the softest number henley crab can they hear me nah it's all good sir my partner said nah man I didn't hear that guy say we shouldn't look up their ceiling replies with sweet I knew they wouldn't find me needless to say we looked and pulled a very very stoned guy out from under the insulation bass side note they make you a TAS so be careful choosing your hiding spots when you're stoned shower and cold water after messing around with insulation if you take a warm shower your pores open up and all that achieve stuff just get stuck in deeper it's a really crappy lesson to learn firsthand like this video and this good boy will play you a nice song if you are new to the channel you can subscribe I publish new videos every day until then check another video or don't either way have a great day you magnificent people [Music]

Channel: Updoot Studios

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Id: g65YRn7xw6M

Length: 24min 45sec (1485 seconds)

Published: Wed Jan 29 2020