People Share Their WORST Dates EVER (r/AskReddit)

our slashes credit what's the worst date you've ever been on one time I went on on a Cupid date and everything was normal until the end she was a cute blonde girl that liked some of the things I liked we seemed to make each other laugh thyra cupid chat so I asked her if she wanted to meet she said sure we met up at the Elephant and Castle in San Francisco it's a popular bar and has enough room to have private conversations I was kind of nervous and didn't want to drink because I was on medication but she called me out so I ordered what she ordered a Pasi idea we go upstairs and nervously talked at first it was awkward but we both seemed to loosen up quickly she has a dark a sense of humor than I expected bringing up topics like burned borders discovered on the side of the road and making jokes I'm into it and play along too everything seems completely fine and normal and I start maybe to even like her and she touches me playfully and that just seems completely normal and easy then suddenly without anything weird being said or anything happening no phone call or emotional reaction she gets up and just walks away rapidly I was so confused by the suddenness I thought maybe I had missed something she said and followed her through the crowded bar as she increased her speed she never looked back at me or anything she just kept going for the door I thought maybe she was having a panic attack or something like that but when we got outside she was completely fine she kept walking away at top speed when I finally said hey wait a moment she turned around with this look on her face like she didn't know who I was and said yes I was like oh that was so sudden I mean I just wanted to say goodbye maybe we can shake hands or something I didn't really know what to say and I tried to make a joke thinking about the least intimidating she said why as she stuck out her hand and put it in mine awkwardly then she turned around and hightailed it out there I took a minute and looked at her walk away and I tried retrace my steps of what we said and didn't trying to think of why she reacted like that I really felt like I must be the shittiest person ever what I didn't notice while thinking was that there was this huge crowd of people smoking outside the bar I mean it must have been fifty people just all around the bar and we had been standing right in the center of them I didn't notice at first but after she left they all started cracking jokes about me like tons and tons of jokes and it was like suddenly I could hear them so I kind of looked around me realizing what was happening until I recognized the jokes were about me finally one very tall black dude smoking a clove shouted loudly a [ __ ] Rumia you [ __ ] that [ __ ] up look how fast that [ __ ] is walking everyone just erupted in laughter I was so double stunned that I just kind of walked away slowly back toward the BART station as I walked I heard that same voice yell or [ __ ] did I hurt that guy's feelings sorry brother that's not the worst date I have been on but it was one that I think of a lot in the shower when I feel depressed happened to my cousin no not me my cousin and I will tell this story till I die her and I live together at the time she worked at a tanning salon she mentions this guy born that started coming in and he's really hot and always flirts with her so I guess two weeks after back-and-forth flirting Vaughan asks her out on a date she comes home gets all prettied up I wish her luck tell her to please call me if she decides to stay over so I know she's okay she's a few years younger than me and I have no idea who this guy is anyways she ends up calling me about five hours later hysterical bawling her eyes out can't understand a word all I can make out his I'm at the hospital my car is AG lab lab lab dress please go get it Ben come pick me up so my boyfriend and I go get her car we drop it off at our house then my boyfriend decides to pick up a couple buddies of his along the way because it sounds like someone needed an ass-kicking we had no idea what was going on we get to the hospital and she's outside shivering a man is standing near her but not beside her he looks worried and she looks like hell she jumps in the car and screams just drive me being mad as [ __ ] say to the guy are you Vaughan he looks like he's going to cry at any second he says yes please don't be mad I brought her here I had to she didn't want me to please let me explain my cousin is in absolute hysterics at this point punching the back of my seat PRSA gooo I said I don't have time to listen to you she wants to go home I need to take care of her we drive home I keep asking what the [ __ ] happened please tell me now did he hurt you do we need to call the cops her response is no please nothing like that I'll tell you at home not in front of other people so I left it at that dying inside to know we get home I tuck her in bed give her some tea try and calm her down every time she tries to start explaining she buries her face and cries finally I get it out of her after she left our house she met him at his house they talked and had a coffee and he asks what she would like to do she suggests a movie he said okay let's go to Blockbuster they go to Blockbuster this is where it all starts they pick their movie and head to the cashier she says she doesn't feel so good and remembers waking up on the floor Vaughn told her she passed out and hit her head pretty hard on the counter she said he was begging her to go to the hospital right then and there she said no I'll be fine let's just go watch the movie he agrees they get back to his place he keeps asking if she's alright if she would please change her mind and go to the hospital she says no over and over she said she doesn't remember falling asleep that she guessed that's what happened because suddenly wakes up urgently needing to [ __ ] and vomit she has no idea the layout of this guy's house so she scrambles to the floor feeling dizzy starts crawling literally asking where the washroom is he tries picking her up to take her but she said she couldn't hold back throws up all over his floor all over him shits in her pants she starts crying she said he was so concerned he didn't even care he just took her to the bathroom to finish while they make it to the bathroom she said she pulls her pants down before she makes it to the toilet and shits like a parrot all over the walls he gently closes the door and says pass me your clothes and he has something for her to wear she agrees into so she said she stopped vomiting and [ __ ] and finally agreed to go to the hospital he takes her and then shortly after I got that phone call while she's telling me this I'm laughing so hard crying rubbing her head and wondering if this is all a joke no because they ended up getting married and we bring this up at least once a year edit my apologies to everyone reading my giant wall of text with no paragraphs I honestly was not expecting this reaction I was at work and so excited when I saw this question pop-up I wrote it too fast I am a pro it's telling it I roll typing not so much I'm also relatively new to Reddit and I'm on the bar and I'll stop making excuses again I'm sorry I will edit as properly as I can also thank you everyone for the kind words it was a surprisingly happy ending and I truly do love telling this story because of that fact I'll be honest I was kind of hesitant to tell the Internet hoping it would just get buried my cousin and born do not read it but I think I may ask them too now one more thing I know this is a lot of reddit users pet peeve but thank you stranger for the gold [ __ ] what everyone says reddit is awesome you're not all a bunch of trolls I'm glad this made people laugh and hopefully not curl in embarrassment at their own shitty first date story cuz this one really does take the cake long I was at a good-sized house party in college and the host introduced me to his lab nerd shortly after I got there we got to talking while things were warming up no one was tanks yet and people were still arriving eventually the lab mate asked me for my number he was ok looking seemed a little delbert harmless and I agreed we barely knew each other but why not it's College you meet people and have a series of terrible and meaningless relationships he disappeared shortly after I didn't think much of it because the house was decent-sized and figured he wandered off the party ended around 3 when we were out of booze the next morning around 8:30 a.m. I got a call barely conscious maybe still a bit drunk I answered like an idiot it was him he asked me out for a nice steak dinner in church that evening to get him off of the phone as quickly as possible so I could go back to sleep I agreed to whatever he was asking without really understanding the question and awoke around noon with no real memory of the conversation he called me a few hours later asking me for my address so he could pick me up memories came flooding back I gave it to him hastily showered put on Mac hoop and a nice outfit regretting agreeing to this but looking forward to the stake and went down to my apartments garage to meet him he was dressed short of slubby but I figured that's a grad student for you I didn't think a nice place would really turn us away as he drove he proceeded to flip through dozens of songs mostly Elvis never letting one finish sometimes starting from the beginning of the same song several times in a row I heard the first minute of you ain't nothing but a hound dog more time than I care to admit that night he then revealed to me he didn't like music and everything on his iPod was from his dad borrowing it for a road trip it was a 64gb big for the time and expensive with around 100 songs on it utterly bizarre and distracting it also turned out he didn't really like anything couldn't name a book he'd read since high school or even one he enjoyed didn't watch TV but was lurking while his roommates were watching 40 towers but didn't understand the humor didn't have a favorite movie his reply was I like everything when I asked and said he liked Titanic didn't play video games didn't know Harry Potter was a book series before a movie favorite food was Taco Bell what had I gotten into we were heading to a nice part of town past a couple of nice restaurants and I eagerly asked him where we are gonna render he replies with a vague oh you'll see to keep the conversation going I asked where he disappeared to last night he said he left because his bedtime is at 10:30 p.m. sharp every night I asked if that's why he'd called me so early he seemed surprised and thought he'd given me time for sleeping him holy [ __ ] my apprehension grew event turned suddenly into a Denny's parking lot we go in [ __ ] I'm way overdressed we are seated I figured I was promised steak I'm getting one even if it's nastiest most gristle a slab of beef in the city he turns to me and eagerly asks if I'm ok with splitting I was tempted to buy us each our own damn steak but to be polite and to not embarrass him I agreed resolving to eat a proper dinner at home the steak came we split I tried to not feel the judgmental eyes of the staff on me and proceeded to church it was a Saturday night young adult service with contemporary music and was supposed to be some sort of place for the non secular devout to hang out on Saturday nights instead of sex drugs and rock n roll I guess whatever the heathens do free coffee and stale doughnuts during the singing large group of people would jump up onto the pews and furiously bounce along to the music belting out the lyrics he was smiling clapping his hands along to the music and interjected with him waving his arms in the air I was dying a little and couldn't wait to leave they had a thankfully short service on keeping yourself pure in my horror grew to the point I think I could power a small city with it he was nodding along vigorously with the pastor with the occasional la holland other grunts of agreement did he bring me here to convert me from my sinful ways damn the evening cold got so much worse but thankfully he didn't ask me what I thought of the service or maybe he was astute enough to detect my ayah he took me home without incident my roommates piled on me asking how it was and well I told them the same thing I'm telling here I went on an online date with this guy when I first moved back home from college we met up and I have a habit of telling my parents I'm going out I'll be back later w / show specifics etc anyway this time she says just be careful and if he can't drive get out the car we were and rude to our first destination and it was closed so he asked me where I wanted to go and I said who doesn't bowling I know keep it classy right here his driving was so reckless I mean really bad anyway we ended up going across town because he wanted to take me to this one place by this time I've determined I'm not into him and I want out so I just go along with it maybe we can be friends right his brakes give out and we end up having an accident we ran into the back of a truck pretty hard and I jerk forward glasses flying off after the smoke settles when I'm nervous I start laughing he asks if I'm okay I said sure and I'm looking for my glasses and he goes oh this is bad really bad so I said why no insurance he says no I have a warrant for my arrest he gets out the car and runs as he's running into the sunset he's yelling back at me I'm really sorry I can't afford to go to jail again the person we hit leaves so I'm the only one there and police show up I had to call my parent to come pick me up because I have no friends in the area and of course I gave the cops his info I knew I wasn't going to talk to him again the police gave me a ride to a gas station across the as I was waiting for someone to pick me up I leaned back took a picture in the cop car posted it on Facebook and tagged him in the picture somewhere in between the running he found time to get on FAFSA book and block me bad part about not just the accident I didn't even get her chance to enjoy Hooters and wings I'm walking down the street just finishing a conversation on my oldest craptastic flip phone just as I'm hanging up well I know into someone and drop my phone I apologize grab my phone and head back to work 10 minutes later I get a phone call hey I think we switched phones by accident turns out the girl I bumped into had the same phone as me anyways we plan to meet at a local coffee place after work the data trade back I woke up and see this very cute ginger wearing a suit dress we chat for a bit turns out she works at a bank likes what I like and is totally up for getting dinner this weekend great Saturday evening rolls around and I swing by her place to pick her up outer door walks a girl who looks remarkably like that date only instead of professional office clothes she is wearing 4 inch platform hoe boots fishnet stockings some sort of course it like top and and spiky hair now normally I don't really care about a person's style but I was bid taken aback who cares I think and jump out to open the door cue witty banter everything is going great she's laughing at my jokes and her humor seems to match mine perfectly she asks what the plan is for the night and I tell her I'm going to take her to my absolute favorite high quality dining establishment and get her a Big Mac hell if she plays her cards right I might even supersize it she runs with the joke and even 1ups me my spirits are high she might have wild fashion but this chick is cool we arrive at this nice pub in town and I turn off the car what about McDonald's leged confused look on her face I laugh and upon seeing her face stop in fusion we head inside and order dinner I have a scotch and she orders the biggest boot this restaurant has glass boots of that light I've ever seen the waiter comes over and takes our order as he's leaving my date whispers rather loudly I can't believe they let his people in such a classy place we should probably check our food for spit before we eat it our waiter is black and has ears so I'm beginning to panic she continues her whispered commentary on the supremacy of whites all the while putting away an obscene but impressive quantity of beer dinner arrives and she makes a point of checking her plate for saliva waiter and I make eye contact and I like to think that he understood that I agreed with him that this girl was nuts so three more boots of big later she excuses herself for a bathroom break while I take care of the check I apologize profusely to the waiter for my dates conduct dude is a true gentleman don't worry about it man there are all sorts of people in this world my date returns and we head out in my car she pulls out a cigarette and lights up doesn't even bother putting the window down we should go shooting out at my dad's farm what's your favorite fun I vaguely excused myself from such activities in point out that it is rather later and time to go home I drop her off at her house and she says this was great except for that asterisk asterisk asterisk waiter we should totally go get that Big Mac next time see you soon I flee posted this on self a while ago but this is the gist I had met this guy this summer and we hit it off really well he made me crab cakes I'm from Maryland so that is always great in my book and we watched the fireflies in the forest behind his house under the stars we both agreed we had really enjoyed ourselves we hooked up that was great too we decide to go get mix liras from McDonald's and I thought hey I don't need any shoes now keep in mind I'm 5 foot 6 inches 120 pounds blonde hair 19 so we hop in the car his car is low and has tinted windows so it looked Sketch we got ice-cream and we were driving back and he gets pulled over for not turning on his left turn signal at a left green arrow the cop asks me my name and he goes back to his car 15 minutes pass and were both freaking out then another cop car pulls up rewind I lost my wallet during the school year and it was given to a cop unfortunately there was a faucet in there so I was called and had to go get it but they didn't say I was being charged so they took my ID and I left I get a call about a month later and the cop says you need to come into the station to sign papers and I asks can you explain to me what's happening he said you just need to fill out some paperwork those who listen are better off than those who don't and hung up so I was thinking was that a threat or no I called my dad and he talked to my uncle who is a cop and they told me not to go in apparently it was a summons I had to sign and since I didn't go in it turned into a warrant for my arrest unfortunately I had no idea because they were sending all the papers to my mailbox at my dorm at school which is not where I live in the summer so fast forward the cop comes back to the car and says ma'am did you know there is a warrant out for your arrest I had no idea fortunately the kid I was with knew about everything previously we waited for the cop to call the police which was three hours away and he told me he wasn't sure if they were going to have to come get me or if I could be detained in the county I was in so we waited and waited and waited finally he comes around and says I have to be detained there a female cop comes to my side and asks me to get out ironically I'm in a black and white striped dress also with no shoes they handcuffed me and put me in the cop car I wanted to cry that I couldn't wipe the tears off my face I got to the jail with no idea of what was going to happen they searched me asked me questions and put shackles on my ankles I had no shoes on and my toes kept getting caught in the chains then they put me in a Cell i sat they took my picture my prints and all they also laughed because it was a first date 3:30 a.m. rolls around and finally they let me go out and sign papers they take those [ __ ] shackles off my ankles and I call her kid thankfully I wrote his number on my hand before they took me away he was right in the front with my shoes my mom and my sister his dad bought me coffee in the morning and a muffin then have me a high-five riposte from another thread I joined website for dating to try and get more dates that was my only intent I have been working too much for two years at my new job I just wanted to have more fun I got an email and set up a date with this girl it's my fifth date from the site it's been fun but this one girl was like one of those love at first sight moments when we met at a restaurant I saw HH and she was perfect I tried to play it cool but I felt like I could just cut size with all the girls I've dated and just commit to her physically she was everything I could ever ask for and exactly my type her personality seemed about a 10 tenths about 30 minutes into sitting down we didn't even order cause we were just talking the chemistry was as good as it was with my first love when I was 13 it was perfect sparks were flying I thought I was done and ready to commit here but then she tells me to forget about ordering food let's go somewhere else and she has this idea she won't say much and I like surprises so I didn't ask much we jumped in my car and drove to this restaurant about 20 minutes away kind of out of town it was halfway up a mountain near a ski resort I'm familiar with the area so no big deal we walk in and her family is celebrating her aunt's birthday there was only family and a lot of it of forty people she introduces me and everybody was happy to meet me and real nice everybody also knew that she was out on a first date they were asking her stuff like is this the guy is this your date is this the one all of the sudden I wasn't so cool and relaxed I felt heavy pressure to be on my best behavior it was high pressure to the third degree but everybody was nice so that helped we sat down and I started being questioned by her older sister her aunt and another lady that I forget her relation to my date the mom started kind of defending me and telling them to back off and let me eat but the interrogating continued after I don't know how long they turned to my date and jokingly said we approve then I was able to kind of get my bearings about me for a minute I was totally off-balance all night just tense I was afraid the back of my shirt would get that a big wet spot cause I felt sweat on my back so the sister brings her cute little girl and lets me hold her and she and my date started taking pictures of me holding her and somebody else's baby boy as well I started to feel like the tone of it all was that we were a couple I kind of felt like I was married to her and these nice people were my in-laws after a couple of hours probably closer to 3 hours everybody was kind of tiring out and everything began to wind down keep in mind her car is still at the other restaurant down the hill then her dad suddenly asks me jokingly what my intentions are with his daughter though I can't remember how he phrased the question everybody looked at the table looked at me which is about half the people there I guess I was exhausted from all the questioning I was questioned by multiple people multiple times and the pressure of it all cause I kind of lost it he asked the question I looked across the table at her and she told her dad to stop it her dad smiles and jokingly says that he'd really like to hear my response and her uncle I think also said he'd like to know jokingly I looked at my date and said can I talk to you alone for a minute to which her dad laughs loudly and and says I made him nervous so everybody is laughing now and I guess it was a big joke then I said to my date hey can I talk to you alone for a minute I stood up in place kind of it was one of those long bench seats and I couldn't push it back cause other people were sitting on it then her sister I think says oh there are no secrets in this family speak your mind people then laugh again and everybody starts making jokes about not having secrets and this man who married into the family somehow tells me that he remembers being in my place and he says let me give you some advice the best thing to do right now is speak your mind and be honest then others join in and echo his sentiment all jokingly I think so I looked at my date and she says something like you can tell me anything here we are all family she also I think was joking but I had started to lose my ability to tell when people were joking and when they were serious so the dad says wait I haven't gotten an answer to my question so finally I speak directly to the dad and say I'd like to discuss that with her first but I regretfully laughed as I said it so her dad says I asked you first I want to know I turned to my date and she says something like go ahead you can tell me I'm a big girl I can handle it so I said okay and sat down then took a couple of breaths while her dad kind of quieted everybody down I started with I think I made a huge mistake it all spiraled down from there I said harsh things like that I felt like I was having a bad dream where I was suddenly married I questioned our intentions in bringing me there I said stuff like what were you thinking yes I liked you but I just met you and right now I know your arms I pointed at her sitting next to me better than I know you I think she was humiliated that I couldn't stop the more I spoke the more bad stuff came out total [ __ ] tailspin I said I want to find someone special but I don't want to the first 29 dates and skip to date 30 which is what I'd done that night then people started interrupting and chiming in and suggesting that she and I slow down and have a real first date I wasn't having it I was out of control I said no it's too late for that I feel robbed here I wanted to meet this girl get to know her data and maybe fall for her but now it's like we are engaged and the whole family is here and there are all these expectations we skip the getting to know each other and dating part so I feel robbed then I said yet another thing I regret I said it's a huge red flag with an emphatic gesture that I asked for minute alone with you to talk and this is what I got instead I added something like you're all great and a great family but the lack of certain boundaries is a huge red flag for me I would never let my relationship become family business my date interrupts me at this point and says okay so let's talk in private let's go outside and talk I'm sorry I didn't give him that minute let's go outside and talk privately I'll give you all night she was visibly shaken and I could tell tears were inevitable I stood up again and realizing that I had insulted all of them I just quietly walked out I felt really bad cause they were all nice and had nothing but the best intentions for me they loved her and they were literally telling me that I was good enough which showed vina compliments but I somehow took it the wrong way and spat in their face I didn't even drink finally my time to shine though this will get buried I suffered for these stories so I'm just happy to have an excuse when I was in my mid to late twenties I internet dated like it was my goddamn job it started off because I was newly back in town and pretty shy so I did it to get over my nervousness about dating by the time these two stories happened I was a veteran of the wars I had rules for instance don't spent two months talking get the in-person meet other quickly get there early and buy your own drink never meet for a meal etcetera and I duck balaam first guy we meet up and he doesn't talk like grunts and nods but no actual syllables it's like pulling teeth I asked him any question I can think of and I get nothing I should note that I went out with him because he was attractive enough but really because he was legit rocket scientist big brains are sexy I'm about to end it with the Imps I forgot I have a party to get to nice to have met you but out of no way he perks up hey my friends are over in blank a podunk town three hours away and are having and scare night arrows battle you want to go uh no no I do not want to be stuck in a car and go three hours away with a complete stranger to sleep in dirt no I don't I made gracious apologies and he silent for a moment and I get this so uh hey would you put your mouth on it cue my hysterical laughter and sudden exit I think he grunted the word [ __ ] as I made my merry way home save the best for last so this is my second date of the guy had been funny and we had good conversation on the first date at this point it's been a while and when he invited me to his place for a movie I'm fine with sleeping / making out with him becuase hey mama needs a ride we start making out and he burbs now I'm fine with weird happenings during 6 because let's face it sex is all naked sweaty time involving bodily fluids it's messy and fun so I am totally okay but this dude freaks the [ __ ] out he literally pulls away curls in the fetal position and start rocking back and forth repeating I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry over and over again I explained my sex theory and it falls on deaf ears still rocking and muttering I realized that this guy's gonna be a horrible lay if you can't brush off a tiny burp and start going all catatonic on it sex is not gonna be no-holds-barred fun so after about 15 minutes and he still hasn't calmed down I take my leave rule hash 47 always Drive yourself I go home and my friend and I go to the on pancake house for late-night grub and storytelling I accidentally leave my phone at home we get home later and I have 50 voicemails and missed calls all from Burpee I can't listen to all of them but they start out apologetic and end up getting angrier and angrier the best one has turned into an inside joke among my friends imagine this read in an angry porn voice if you had just stayed an hour longer we could have soon been there by now but you didn't you [ __ ] and now you vex the John it's not wise to vex the John later he turned his profile into a screed against me good times good times there was also the time I unknowingly went out with a still married transvestite whose wife was cheating on him with his own ex-girlfriend thank you so much for watching the whole video please leave a like and subscribe

Channel: Top Reddit

Views: 35,785

Rating: 4.7728705 out of 5

Keywords: high school, reddit stories, reddit

Id: ICb64fQVUW0

Length: 34min 18sec (2058 seconds)

Published: Wed Nov 27 2019