Divorced MEN Share When They Knew They Wanted a DIVORCE (r/AskReddit)

our slashes credit divorce men of Reddit what moment with your former wife made me think II up I'm asking this girl to divorce me we met and spent the first seven years of our married life on the west coast then moved East five years later I took a job back on the west coast but it was the middle of the school year so I went out ahead and lived on my own until everyone could join me things hadn't been very good between us for a while but I hadn't articulated it to her or even myself beyond vague feelings of dissatisfaction one weekend out there on my own I decided to take a day and drive to one of my favorite towns a town in which I had lived long before I knew her a town we had visited often while married it was late afternoon was about to head back to my hotel when I realized that I could visit a particular Beach that had special meaning to me from my earlier life there I stopped at a convenience store grabbed a grouch like I used to drink on that Beach and drove out there hiked out to a specific spot I remembered sat down pop the beer and looked out over the ocean and it hit me that I hadn't done that in over 20 years whenever we'd visit the area I'd suggest stopping at the beach but she wasn't interested and would always veto the idea I am sure eating this it seems like the tiniest thing but it was the catalyst for me realizing just how completely dissatisfied I was with our relationship I think from the time I sat down I knew it was over within maybe 10 minutes just sitting there sipping my beer looking at the ocean edit our IP inbox and my first gold thanks redditors I seriously thought this would be one of those I'm late to the thread so no one will we did posts thank you for all the incredibly kind words growl she's indeed a Dutch beer it can be had in distinctive green bottles with hinged resonable ceramic caps I chose it because when I had lived in that place before and had headed out to that specific beach with friends I'd always bring growl fifteen years in and I'd find texts on her phone completely blindsided no clue she had it in her to cheat told me it was just texting beg for forgiveness I caved a month later checked the phone bill to find that it never stopped confronted her again cue more begging and more denial on my part that she would let the life we had built go down in flames this went on for a few months so many promises one night I caught her on the phone when she thought I had left suddenly it's not just texts sometimes it was phone calls to just a friend she could talk to that she let things go too far with promise to break all contact swore it was never physical then I found a nails she detailed things that made me sick to read but also included descriptions of his house she broke finally but swore it was all just in the line of duty that's how she met you see visiting nurse service and this guy was a client promised she was done loved me you see no chance she was going to let 15 years go like that I wasn't buying it anymore though she announced she was going out one night with a work friend promised they were only going to the bar then she'd be home maybe late but not too late she had taken over her own phone account by then but wasn't bright enough to understand that Google Latitude was still showing me where she was and I wasn't about to show my hand she kissed me goodbye and beelined write for his house and was there until the wee hours of the morning once I knew where she had headed I called her dad and my best friend to keep me from doing anything dumb I will love them both forever for keeping me calm while my world went [ __ ] insane all around me my father-in-law offered to stay with the kids and wait for her to get home around 3 a.m. while couchsurfing my buddy's place she sent me a nasty text asking where the [ __ ] I thought I was I texted her a screenshot of her little GPS dot at her boyfriends and let her know I'd be sending her have a work soon I'd found evidence of potential cheating despite this I still was willing to work on things I confronted her about her feelings towards me not the cheating when I point-blank asked her if she was interested in counseling or trying to work things out she said no that was the first time it would have been better to have stuck with it there was a tumult she was time after that where we flip-flopped and were trying to work things out sorter she complicated things I had broached the cheating with her and we made rules during a maintenance period one of which was that she was no longer to have contact with her friend she was cheating with I ended up finding out that she was still fast booked friends with him when I calmly explained why this would hurt me she turned it around that I was a bad guy I started living with a friend at this point during my drunken Hopf sobbing tirade where I explained everything to him I finally realized that I don't want to be with this woman anymore she doesn't love respect or care for me at all and I deserve those things moved out moved on and have since found a wonderful woman that I will marry in April even though I figured I would never get married again edit I got hurt it sucks it sucked really bad I never expected to get a divorce I took some time to work on myself and address the mistakes that I made in my marriage in past relationships I ended up finding a person who 100% is in sync with me and communicates like a mature adult she is super smart and helps me through my emotions as I helped her through hers I did a complete 180 on marriage it wasn't a struggle it feels right I thought long and hard after I had decided to get married I wanted to make sure I was not making the same mistakes again I believe I found my true partner and each day gives me more reasons to believe there to be true wasn't married but about one month away from marrying we work together at the same job for about a year but she was first shift and I was second we both had weekends off so we could and did things on the weekend we had got everything paid for and were set one weekend actually on my birthday I went to get a haircut before we went out for the night i weirdly noticed this one car in the parking lot of our apartments didn't think too much as there was a [ __ ] ton of cars that would come and go she had gone up to a casino with him on the previous night and stayed overnight that wasn't uncommon as they were both huge gamblers I got back and did some cleaning and she walked in she looked at me and throw her in on the table and said we need to talk I think I like Joe more now and decided I want to be with him I don't need the ring and you can cancel a wedding it all clicked that car I seen with Joe's she didn't go up to the casino with her mom but with Joe instead even more [ __ ] up as I called her mom to see how close they were to home and she covered for her daughter I then come to find out her friend Joe was their ex lover who also broke up the last engagement he was always trying to befriend me too and act like we were best friends I have never felt less of a man more ashamed and hurt than when this happened I sacrificed a lot for her I was there doing anything and everything for her and her family when her dad very slowly passed away and she ends up treating me like a pet she could get rid of when she got bored I still can't remember a few months of time after that happened I was in a bad place edit I just realized I never finished this up it took a while to get my head straight my best friend of over 20 years to me a brother and family helped me out so much he made sure I was going to be okay and took me out to blow off steam we took her awesome trip to some fun ass spots with a few other people I owe him so much for the help my family really helped too I ended up meeting my fiance now about six months after I had that [ __ ] happen we have been together for over five years and we will be celebrating our first daughter's birthday on June 29th amazing what has and since then my one advices don't ever give up or think you are worthless you are worth everything to somebody out there no matter what I can say I'm almost embarrassed by how I reacted back then log edit again I never expected this to get this much attention thank you everybody for the kind words and yes my ex and I were together for about four years I will say after I met my new fiance now about a month into dating I got a new job and got to say good riddance to the last of my ex one of the greatest things ever the oddest thing too was my best friend who stuck with me actually had his dad pass away my last week at work my last day I had told them I needed to leave at 3 p.m. to go help my best and his family with last minute wake and funeral staff they told I can't leave and they won't let me after how my ex got everybody there to somehow feel really bad for her about leaving me and I got left with people telling me how they feel bad for her I just dropped my [ __ ] on the ground and left I remember the supervisor saying you are going to get into lots of trouble and I looked at her dead in the eyes and go what am I going to get fired and just started laughing on my way out my wife at the time told me that she had called a local radio station which often discusses hardships that military families go through and sometimes gives away $1,000 to a family in need of help she said that she informed the radio station of my deployment and how I didn't come back the same and she told them about our daughter two months premature and only eight months old at the time who had numerous health problems my wife explained to me that the radio station hadn't given away the $1,000 in quite a few weeks so they were going to give us $10,000 for her telling such a heartfelt story she called me while I was at work to tell me what had happened and I was really excited asked my SNC OIC to help me draw up a savings plan and figure out which debts should be paid off first etc things were looking up I get home that night and rather than being greeting with an enthusiastic hug she points to the loft and mouths not now I'm on the phone so I go upstairs and wait for her to finish while I was waiting I could hear her saying things like yeah I can get those papers to you and no problem I can have that ready by tomorrow hmm maybe they need identification and proof of my deployment or something whatever fast-forward to later that night and like usual I'm having trouble sleeping I decide to get on the computer and listen to the podcast from the radio show after a few searches I find it and start listening to it this is where my blood starts to boil she told the DJ's that she was a single lady living on her own and that her sister married a marine and they had a child named Mary our daughter's middle name she goes on to say that Mary is now in her custody after the marine husband me sort of was killed in Afghanistan and the mother her iral single sister with no kids Jackie was killed in a car wreck and Mary was now my wife's responsibility hundreds of people called him and offered to help many of which owned business and wanted to offer things like baby supplies or completely furnishing a nursery for her literally thousands of people had heard this [ __ ] fabricated story including some of my co-workers it was the radio station she was on the phone with and they were asking her to provide death certificates and a birth certificate for Mary which is why I was heard away I worked she played she woke me up in the middle of the night to grab the extra blanket off the bed I expected to find her disgruntled on the couch alone the next morning I found her in the guest bed with another woman both naked no forewarning Zork luhan's just despondent betrayal I woke her for answers and got a whole lot of mumbles decided to split for space that weekend we both ended up at the same bar on the same dance floor I thought she'd followed me there to make amends she brought the same girl and completely ignored me when I called out to her when I walked up to her she pretended I was a stranger I told her I'm not going to play any games and didn't know what was going on she said she didn't want to be married I gave her the ring back and went to tell my friends goodbye that night I didn't want to tell them why I felt so embarrassed she saw me talking to my friends and decided to make out in front of us with a new woman directly on the dance floor eight feet away from where I stood while everyone stared looking back now I realized probably was scared to come out I can give her credit for that but she was an awful person for the way she did it and for never having the courage to say to my face whatever she was feeling I thought we were best friends I thought we were going to be together forever she asked me to marry her now I'm just grateful for not being with a liar and a coward I've made a fresh start sold everything traded my entire wardrobe and style to feel like I'm in a new life sure I've lost more money than I ever thought imaginable and the dog I just keep optimistic that I'll find someone who deserves my time I don't focus on the past and I have faith in God in the future whoever I marry next will be grateful for a man like me and loyal but until then I'm gonna enjoy the single life again and just play I'd been married for 14 years we split up the day before our anniversary I was [ __ ] tired when I had something happen to me it wasn't a problem when something happened to her it was the worst one example is a year-long cardiac issue on my end a heavier stress tests Holter monitors specialist appointments that sort of thing on her end one time she forgot to eat lunch and choked on some too hot food and hit her head when she passed out those were in her mind equivalent there are other examples when I lost my job and told her I was having trouble mentally she told me quote just try harder and that was the sum total of emotional support I got in 14 years of marriage by a surprise one day I found out I was seriously sensitive to a medication I passed out for a couple of days did a lot of vomiting my body kept throwing firm their errors when I tried to wake up not a username joke it's the best way to describe it and I was more than a little disappointed when I didn't wake up in the hospital I lost eight pounds in a couple of days and five of those pounds never really found their way back on she was mad that I'd lost weight she went on vacations every year with her teams and clubs she thought of my work trips as equivalent to vacation so I never got any time off we only had short Kid trips to the next city and before that was our honeymoon conversations were a nightmare if I phrased anything imperfectly she'd hold it against me for years I told her that sex was a way to feel an emotional bond or something like that and she kept bringing it up that dough that's how you feel love so it was nearly impossible to say anything important about anything at all I couldn't relax at home I couldn't feel like I couldn't say things or do things without it being recorded mentally and thrown back at me it was like being on camera all the time and it felt like she was just trying to trap me with any given conversation she still does this trying to get me to agree to oddly specific phrases or bringing up old issues over a male after they've been resolved like the time I caught her stealing money from the children in the last year she just kept asking me weekly daily if I was cheating she'd been refusing any kind of six told me to stop asking and when she initiated anything I'd have to guess exactly what she wanted no questioning from me and any mistake ended up with her crying it was dreadful so I kicked my own ass to get into better shape I went from pair to V and lost a bunch of weight and put on a bunch of muscle I hired a trainer from the gym and she had a party and I wrote it on the calendar in the kitchen who is Susan accusing me of flirting with the Clarkes in stores when I was there with my I still remember her saying in bed that I'd gained a lot of muscle and I was sad that she'd noticed because she really shouldn't have taken so long that she should have noticed in counseling she'd said that she never asked me to do any of the fitness stuff and my inside voice was screaming yes you did every time you said I wasn't sexy enough I ended up losing a total of 90 pounds from the time we met at the time we split so yes I looked at porn she was fine with it at the start then somewhere along the line she conflated porn and cheating and eventually even masturbation and cheating the damnable thing about this is that if anyone knew much about me you'd know how much I disliked germ cell oh no I wouldn't put my lips or junk on a stranger's face and/or tackler barks I tried to explain that look if I won't eat leftover desserts from the kids plates what makes you think I'd be comfortable with cheating I discovered later that there was a very high likelihood that she had cheated on me and more than once I suppose in retrospect the conversation that started with how chlamydia can stay in the body for a long time should have been more of a red flag we were each other's firsts and at some point I developed HPV but who knows where that came from I suspect some of her major health issues stemmed from complications from an abortion after I'd been sterilized in all honesty whatever I don't care about her anymore other than I hope she's healthy because we share custody of our kids and I don't want to go to her funeral until the kids are a lot older she looks like hell though easily up more than 300 pounds I hope she gets better so what was the final straw when I realized that she wanted all the time in the world to fix any problems she was facing and that I had to face all of mine alone and fix them overnight or sooner if possible in the morning after the last counseling session she asked me if I thought it was okay to lie to people that you're in a relationship with and of course yes there are lies that are acceptable I went to the anniversary day alone the waitress comped my meal sometime after the split I was talking to someone online about his ex he was beaten up on the regular with her flailing her forearms at him making her physical abuse looked like defensive wounds and likely grabbed her heart he was only able to escape once cheap cameras were available and easily hidden when he heard my story he said our men brother and it wasn't until then that I realized that my ex was an abusive cheater that kept gaslighting me on the upside when the divorce was finalized the papers were ready a day early so I went and got them and posed with the process server for a faster book photo it was a regular Thursday but my American friends wandered in amazement I got served on a holiday we celebrate our national holiday a few days earlier up here so I was given my divorce papers on Independence Day so before I write this I would just like to say I'm a 27 year old female and I'm telling the story of my father and when he knew it was time to divorce my biological mom akka the uterus as I commonly refer to her my father passed when I was 17 so this is his posthumous tale my biological mother was extremely abusive both physically and mentally hell spiritually even she cheated on my father shamelessly as a child I remember her throwing things at his head and leaving for days and coming back home when my father had his paycheck I remember watching my father cry in the kitchen sometimes when he thought I wasn't looking he tried to stay in the marriage for the sake of me not being part of a broken family he tried his best to make my childhood as normal as he could I also had a half-sister who shared the same mom but different dad my mother was so tasteless and she would often take my sister with her and have sex right in front of her needless to say my half-sister grew up with the preconceived notion that sex equals love she was pregnant at 15 and married at 17 anyway not to digress the breaking point for my dad was when my mom dropped me one night at 1:00 a.m. on a school night and went back out to a family party my father was getting me ready for bed and I asked him why did mommy have her tongue in someone's mouth threshold had been reached what I distinctly remember was how my dad handled such abuse with such dignity I woke up to his things gone and my mother back home cursing and threatening to make his life hell and waging war on him she told me I'd never see him again I went into hysterics my father came back and bought me a present and apologized and tried to explain to me he'd see me on weekends I wasn't having it I would cry non-stop my mother couldn't take it and told my father to pick me up she remarried a few months later and tried to go for full custody but my father fought tooth and nail he won after having a psychologist deem her mentally unstable and unsafe I guess the only reason I wanted to write this was I'm reading these stories and I see my childhood and as an adult I have an intense sense of gratitude for my father for going through what he did and raising me the way he did with what he had I sincerely also wanted to say thanks to the men who have children or who do not have going through such torment and malice the way you guys have you never know who else is impacted and I can say the truest since my dad is a hero for going through what he did and also showing me what unconditional love is and I wake up every day appreciative for it I also thank the uterus too for showing me the woman I do not want to ever be and sex does not equal love she passed away a year ago died alone on her deathbed obligatory not my former wife but with my fiance the moment we went to the bank we'd been together over four years engaged for one-and-a-half if circumstances had gone our way a little more than they had we would have been married I know it she really was my soul mate we connected from the moment we met each other and through thick and thin the ups and the downs we were always there for each other understood each other we'd been saving to buy a house together that was the plan buy the house get married settle down and have kids she had a debt issue I knew that when we first started dating that she'd been working to pay it off and she had and here we were ready to buy a house this was a year we went to a couple of open houses for fun to see what we could afford in our price range to imagine ourselves living there together snuggled up watching TV playing in bed with a book or breakfast in bed together or whatever it didn't matter just her and myself in our own home together we went to the bank together mostly for my own financial purposes but when my advisor asked if we wanted to get a mortgage pre-approval just to see what the bank said we could do why not we weren't going to rush into anything right away I said yes she clutched my leg and said no we left nerves she said it's a big step in our lives together I knew that the thought of going to those open houses terrified me before we did it we were crossing that boundary between just talking about it and it's real I'll let it be for a while not a big deal but something didn't sit right after dinner i sat her down asked her nerves she reaffirmed I still didn't buy it I pushed her to tell me I knew something was up she started to cry if I tell you you'll leave me I told her I wouldn't I couldn't there was no money the substantial amount of money she assured me she was saving up didn't exist she had nothing and not just nothing but the money she claimed she had she was actually in debt to the bank for the amount she told me she was in debt for when we first started dating that was a significantly reduced amount I was in shock I went into the shower and cried like a baby our plans they never really existed my fiancee she consistently lied to me for over four years I couldn't believe it she threw away so much money to keep the lie going she needed a new car I told her she could afford a new so she went and bought a brand new one she spent a ridiculous amount of money on me and my family for Christmas gifts pretty much gifts for any holiday she went big for we even had an evening out celebration of her paying off her debt finally it was supposed to mark a new beginning of our lives moving forward it wasn't real she even picked on my own family members who were irresponsible with their finances with us never realizing that she was potentially even worse off I didn't sleep on it the next morning I helped her pack her things and she left I cried again but two days later I asked if she wanted to meet to work things out she agreed I thought I could look past it we tried for a few more weeks but I couldn't I couldn't look at her the same way I couldn't trust the words that came out of her mouth I left for a second time a month later after lots of introspection and reflection I saw her side of it the embarrassment of revealing the debt in its true form in the first place then the realization that the hole was dug too deep and there's no way out I sent her an email asking if she wanted to talk not to commit to anything but to see if we could slowly rebuild what we had together I still loved her with my whole heart and I wanted to make this us work she agreed and we started talking then the second moment came in the few short weeks we'd been apart she joined tinder which wasn't a bad thing in and of itself but then I found out she'd been on four separate dates or so she says three with one guy she hated it she claimed she said she compared them to me but they weren't the same she did it to try to ease the pain she said it didn't make sense to me couldn't she have figured that out from a single date how did she make it to fall before this realisation kicked in I dreamt at night of her dressed up as beautiful as she always was but with someone who wasn't me at a fancy restaurant the kiss afterwards the ride home together I couldn't do it he swore she never had sex with anyone but she also swore up and down that she never had anything to hide to begin with I couldn't do it I couldn't trust that she was telling me the truth and I thought I knew when she was lying but she did such a good job pulling the wool over my eyes that I had no idea what to look for what the signs would be I told her I couldn't do it and I stopped talking to her that was a week ago I miss her terribly I really do I still love her no less than a week ago or a month ago or a year ago I wanted us to work out so badly but that want a combo of the lying then jumping straight to dating other men so quickly she never even reached out never said hi never asks how I was doing she isn't the same woman to me who I thought she was and that's what's tearing me apart inside because in my heart I still had my baby girl from two months ago when things were perfect and I was blissfully ignorant and that's what I want so badly but I know it shouldn't can't be the woman in my heart is gone and I don't think she ever really existed in the first place I don't know what hurts more the fact that she lied or the fact that she maybe didn't love me as much as she said she did not enough to deter her from seeing other men oh I have a good one for this throw away since things are crazy she's mentally unstable and regularly tries to find anything she can to ruin mine and my son's life details will be slightly adjusted for privacy reasons well it took a lot since she did so much to [ __ ] with my head and it's sad to say it worked really well over the seven years of our marriage she had at least four affairs that are confirmed and multiple more nights out that went to nowhere this is not to even mention the three other people she slept with while we were dating I know well then why the [ __ ] did you marry her she cheated on me and left for my cousin just after my son turned to day of his birthday party actually rohde they're there with me rode him with my cousin and were sleeping with him before that day even she moved in with him and took our son with her that relationship lasted about six months officially and we got back together to try again I know stupid she kept texting sexting is more appropriate of a description for the next several months well it's likely it never stopped actually she had sex with the guy she'd cheated on me with while we were dating and then happily came home and gave me a kiss like nothing had happened I found the receipts for their hotel they got together as how I even found out then she had a relationship with guy while his wife was getting cancer treatments she moved in with him his wife was hospital bound and his eight years old son with severe autism he divorced his wife while she was getting treatments and ended up with custody by default since she was too sick to take care of him I continued to financially support her and our son since she'd never had a job in her life and her boyfriend got fired for misconduct shortly after she moved in they lost his house his car and ended up having to relocate to the boyfriends uncle's house who lived several hours away I helped her fund this move and still tried my best to work with her and trying to see my son I work nights and had no family or support system where we lived after she moved out and we had a lease so I didn't have the financials to just move when she'd up and left with a free place offered to her again once the lease was up I moved this place as my job would allow to make visitation easier this was still pretty far away sadly I continued to try and ask for more time with my son since I hated seeing him only one day a week and even changed my work schedule to try and facilitate this then she dropped the line of I just don't think more time would be healthy for him meaning our son I contacted an attorney that day my son came to spend my father's birthday with us and she called saying she was taking him back with her before lunch and there was nothing I could do to stop her I refused she called the police told her that since I'm the father they couldn't force me to give him up I filed for divorce and custody the next day the court battle just ended today actually after three years in the courtroom and multiple counts of contempt against her tons of evidence of her committing perjury on the stand and are currently insane legal debt that I will be paying on for probably the rest of my life I have sole custody of my son it was long fought cost me multiple friends over $30,000 dollar sign 16 K of which I still owe in attorneys fees which is going to be insane to figure out how to pay on its own I have my son in my custody he's sleeping here in my arms now and I'm so glad that I'm able to keep him safe from her antics that were self-destructive dangerous and neglectful of not just me or herself but of our son thank you so much for watching the whole video please leave a like and subscribe

Channel: Top Reddit

Views: 40,644

Rating: 4.8372455 out of 5

Keywords: high school, reddit stories, reddit

Id: I1FgAXvDg08

Length: 34min 20sec (2060 seconds)

Published: Thu Nov 28 2019