People Share Reasons Why They Had To BREAK UP With Their CRAZY SO (r/AskReddit)

our slashes credit what reason did you break up with your bf /gf for that they will never know about I watched him cheat on me and he will never know we lived in the same city and had been dating for about ten months the last couple of months his passive-aggressive manipulations had begun to come a bit more transparent that I was young and convinced I could fix everything on a Friday when we had plans he called to say a friend at work had been fired and he was going to go out with him to help cheer him up it was fine I said and he hung up before I could finish my sentence that I had left some work papers at his place the night before and needed to grab them I had keys so I didn't think anything of swinging by after dinner and drinks with my brother to let myself in to grab them as expected he and his two best friend slash roommates were out what was not expected was when I was in the little office adjoining his bedroom gathering my papers the Apartment door opened and a lot of giggling ensued I kept quiet as I assumed one of his friends was getting lucky and I didn't want to interrupt imagine my surprise when the giggling and drunken slurring approached the bedroom I usually occupied followed by the squeaking bed springs and a symphony of noises usually associated with mating pigs any hope I might have had that it was one of his roommates too drunk to find his own room was dashed when she started yelling his name as they were both clearly spinoza it didn't take long for them to pass out mid thrusts I managed to unfreeze myself and after spending several very sad moments looking at the error hittable proof that this relationship was not worth saving I slipped out the front door I spent all night walking the city at first feeling ashamed that he had cheated on me then increasingly more angry that I felt ashamed then finally angry at him by the time morning arrived I had decided how best to deal with the situation I walked back to his building and called him when he picked up clearly mostly asleep I told him we needed to talk and I would be up in five minutes and hung up smiling for the first time as I imagined his panic five minutes later sitting in his living room I simply said I felt we weren't working out that I was not as happy as I suspected I could be and that while our relationship used to be exciting it was feeling more like a chore I wished him the best and was walking out the door before he managed to pick his jaw off the floor on a hunch I went out the back door and was pleased if not surprised to find his half dressed companion crouching out on the fire escape what followed was weeks of pleading denial and desperate Aeon on his part when I was unyielding he began to be suspicious did I know about his indiscretion he of course couldn't ask me in case I didn't know so he's starting lashing out at all of his friends and co-workers who had been there that night accusing them of telling me and in this manner they all learned of his infidelity it caused I later found some major rifts between him and his friends as they all liked me and led to him being let go at work for increasingly erratic behavior and causing hostility with his co-workers his parents threatened me edit several people have asked me to elaborate and I have every intention to I just had to find a computer first edit to okay so story time I went to his home one day to pick him up so we could spend the evening at the park together not knowing that he was already there waiting on me and his pregnant older sister Ron said the door she asked me who I was and why I was there she was kind of hostile but I chalked it up to her hormones and answered her questions she told me to wait a sec Rotarians shut the door in my face a few minutes went by and then his mother opened the door and asked me the same set of questions and while she started adding more which became increasingly invasive his father walked up behind her when she commented on my looks and asked about my race and I told her she called me Ahmad and that she would be damned if I brought that filth in her family various insults for which culminated in her father stepping out the door and close to my face telling me I had real nerve showing up on their property at their home trying to dirty the purity of their blood through their son he said I better get out of there if I knew what was good for me and if I came back that they would beat me by this point I was really scared so I left and when I got home I sent my boyfriend a text saying that I was too old to girl out and I would have to hang out with him another day a few days later after no longer being able to avoid him I broke it off and haven't talked to him since edit three several people have suggested that I contact my ex and let him know the true story this happened half a decade ago so I don't know what it will accomplish but I will give him a call tonight we'll keep you updated edit for it went ok ha ha in all honesty he made a comment to the effect that he'd already known he regrets not standing up to his parents sooner but his current relationship is going okay despite the fact that she it not of the same ethnic background because he did have a chat with them so I guess everything worked out makes me sad though wish we could have gotten through it together all those years ago I broke up with my last ex because I found myself completely repulsed by him he smoked drank ate nothing but junk food and farted like a Claddagh stale in his sleep all night long his car was disgusting it stunk and the interior was covered in ashes on cigarette butts the seats had chatter tots ground into them and you couldn't even see the floorboards through all the trash his house was absolutely filthy - it stunk of old smoke and cooking grease had old newspapers piled up in the corners and you couldn't even tell what color the carpets had originally been he started pushing for me to move him and I had to think of a way out fast other than being gross he was genuinely nice and I really didn't want to hurt his feelings so I just said I wasn't emotionally ready for a relationship yet and broke up with him he came back around a few weeks ago wanting to try again but luckily I had already met my current boyfriend who's not disgusting hair another one in 2005 I broke up with a very sweet caring guy because he had the worst breath I've ever smelled that's it he brushed his teeth regularly but the breath just never got any better and I simply could not handle it it was like kissing a toilet I made up some story about how I wasn't good enough for him or something and he actually cried to this day I feel bad about it edit I should add that I only dated the second guy for a month and wasn't that emotionally invested or else I would probably have tried harder to save the relationship we had been having a great relationship her friend convinced her to start going to this church with her suddenly everything I did wasn't good enough and all the fun [ __ ] we did when we were alone ceased immediately her friend also told her that being a member of the church meant she should really bring her friends and family so they could experience God's love too I went once to this church before we dated it was a lock-in but they didn't tell us that they said hey come play pinball and skee-ball and arcade games will have punch and pie seriously it was snacks not punch and pie just you know free hat then at midnight they locked all the doors and turned off the fun machines and busted out a whole library cart of Bibles me and another kid got out through a bathroom window back to the girlfriend I laid awake all nights thinking about it and finally called her at 7 a.m. to break up with her I couldn't take it any longer she was super distant and acted hurt that I didn't want to belong to her church then later that day I checked my email and had one from her dated the night before saying more or less look we've had some awesome nekkid times together but until we get married that has to stop because of God and you can't ever tell anyone we did those things all got and my friends will hate me and you have to come to my church and anyway we could get married I was 16 she was 18 I feel I dodged a bullet but I never act told her it was because of her Church reason a bet kind of not proud but it happens I was going out with a rotten spoiled brat we were overdue for a breakup so one day she's bored and decides to book a one-week vacation did I mentioned that she was a rotten spoiled brat and I was the poor working and studying dude that she was having fun with so she asks me if I wanted to go with her but unfortunately I could not afford it I had a job that wouldn't allow me to take a week off on a whim I was also going to school at night so off she goes with her mom another spoiled rotten brat that week was great no headaches no fights absolutely great one night I was out with friends and we were talking that my relationship was better when she was away then when she was with me so this girl that I had recently met starts flirting with me and I Furtick it was a lot of fun and we start joking that if only I was not dating my girlfriend we would kiss have sex what kind of six and with each wish we would end the sentence with but I'm dating slash but you're dating I think it was a Thursday or so my girlfriend was coming back on Saturday so I told my new friends something along the lines my girlfriend is coming back on Saturday I can dump her as soon as I can and you and I can go out on a proper date on Saturday evening she starts laughing and not believing me but she dares me to do so that Saturday my girlfriend arrives I tell her that it's over between she and I within the first hour after we meet it was probably within the first 15 minutes and that night I go out with my new friend and we ended up spending the night together and in a two-year relationship geez when do I start I got sick of dealing with her demanding controlling [ __ ] so even though she was begging me to take her back I seize the chance to liberate myself I also despised her family that by the way had the gall to scoff at me for my lower social stature nevermind the fact that her family was a second family and her father was a divorcee while her mom my most vocal critic was a penniless country bumpkin from the Taiwanese countryside she was also a huge prude we never had sex just making out was a big deal to her and she had to be coaxed most of the time she's stupid didn't even know who nelson mandela was for starters she was hugely ignorant in general and i kept finding myself having to explain facts and concepts to her like i were a goddamn school teacher she disparaged my job when she was still in college she mentioned smoking as a deal-breaker I actually started smoking regularly around the middle of our relationship hiding it from her was a pain and I shouldn't have to hide anything from my so bTW cigars were okay with her because it's cool no [ __ ] despite her so-called fixation about clean living she was a slob she rarely took showers and shaved but religiously washed her hands and brushed her teeth that cognitive dissonance she never stopped talking about eating nothing but yogurt and salads when we are married but Wolf's down instant noodles candy and microwaved popcorn 24 over 7 she's skinny furred all of these reasons really officially I never really gave her a solid plausible reason I just said yes to one of her usual threats of leaving me first for did comment ever I really do not know I thought I had wanted a steady long-term girlfriend slash wife a house 2.5 kids a dog and the white picket fence I knew she wanted kids badly from the get-go and I was leery at first but came around to the idea wholeheartedly a couple months ago we hung out with a friend of hers who had kids they were even really well-behaved and cute as buttons I became more and more withdrawn as it went on the thought of having children terrified me I sleep little enough as it is what about the child who wakes up every two hours so later I told her that I was unsure if I wanted kids a response maybe we should break up that stuck with me for the next couple of weeks I ran the scenarios over and over in my head I was depressed and antisocial and did tore at me we went to a relationship counselor and her advice was this is a huge issue that makes and breaks a lot of relationships and you have to make that decision for yourself on the way home we were talking and she again said I think we should break up so I replied ok agreeing that it was over I avoided thinking about it for a couple hours by burying myself in a book then I went to a study session at school and started talking with a friend who is now my roommate the first feeling that I had relief what why am i relieved more confusion in my head went home left for the weekend without talking to her came back she did not accept that we had broke up had to tell her again that it was over I still had a dreams of playing with my kids in the future maybe I still want kids just not with her maybe I subconsciously realized that it was not right and seized on that known deal-breaker in order to end it or had her end it I'm confused about my reasons I crave the intimacy of the relationship that it had it was not only the longest I have had a year and seven months but the best of my life we talked about everything never yelled always discussed problems rationally we had similar if not the same goals in life and long-term plans I googled why did I break up with her and Here I am I have read a lot of stuff on here before but never post it but I wanted to put it all out there thanks for listening with it I appreciate it I was going to use a throwaway but whatever it's part of me this was in high school quite a while ago it's well behind me I didn't really figure it out till it was too late but she was really mentally abusive to me and tore away who I was and I let it happen I went out of my way to do things for her I tried to be romantic cooking candlelit dinners flowers learning to play songs she I got along well with her parents and her sisters learn to like her interests but she would always tell me I wasn't doing good enough she would tell me that she does way more for me than I did for her she straight-up told me she hated my friends but she did not know all while telling me I had to make more effort to become friends with hers most of her friends were older than us from out of town most did drugs and had fake IDs snuck into clubs we were in high school and I was more content with being my own age I remember one of many times she said I do nothing for her I took some of her favorite songs and I transcribed them to get our practice them and thought it would be special when I played them for her especially since I was not a fan of a lot of her music and she basically rolled her eyes and said it's not really a big deal she would crush any gesture I made to her and put me down in all kinds of ways that I don't really want to get into but she made me feel unworthy she changed me in all kinds of ways and I let it happen costing friendships hobbies and things I loved and once I realized it and left her it really hurt my trust in women and made me to this day struggle thinking I'm not good enough even with realizing how much of a terrible person she was being when I was in the 10th grade I had a girlfriend I really liked she was that kind of girl next door she was very cute and smart anyway sometime after we started dating a bit we didn't really have a long relationship before she told me she wanted me to be her first but she just wasn't ready yet that really didn't matter to me I liked her for who she was and it had nothing to do with sex the school I went to was a kind where you lived at the school you only went home for the weekend if you wanted to the following weekend after she told me she wanted me to be her first I went home for the weekend and started to think I thought about what a good person she was she came from a family with good money she was much smarter than I was and just by her looks was out of my league she was such a nice person helping everyone she could and helped me a lot with my gran ah I'm a dyslexia for school she really liked me a lot and really wanted to get to know me the school I went to before that was a nightmare for me I was bullied very much for stupid stuff that really had nothing to do with my personality but just because I had no dad anymore my parent we're divorced we we're poor etc so to meet a girl that really liked me for me was something I never thought about anyway after that weekend I thought to myself that I couldn't really be with her I mean look at her way too good for me so after that weekend I found her waiting for me with a big smile on her face needless to say I broke it up with her I was gonna tell her that it had nothing to do with her but she was really upset she thought it was because I didn't want to wait for 6:00 and then she started to talk about my ex-girlfriend she also went to the school I tried to tell her that she ran off we tried to talk a few times after that but I could never get myself to tell her she was too good for me sometime after the year ended I found out one of my best friend had starting to date her and he became her first as well I felt such sadness I've never felt before but couldn't do anything about it my chance was gone every time I have seen her since I wanted to tell her how sorry I was for everything but every time she looked at me with those beautiful eyes I thought to myself it would be better if she never knew about it and just hated me forever instead of knowing the truth what I know of she is doing very well at this point she got into a good school and really handles life well I happy for her for reasons both external and internal to the relationship when I broke up with her I kept my explanation overly general basically just saying things weren't working out and that I couldn't handle the stress of dealing with her family's problems while I didn't spell out the family issues that honest below she likely knew what I was implying nevertheless there were problems specific to her that I certainly did not bring up during the breakup external her absurdly dysfunctional family divorced parents dad picked up and moved to another state we married had kids and barely keeps in touch with the now xgf mom seems to barely work no idea how she gets by and doesn't really have it together older sibling has made terrible decisions and is swimming in debt and has leaned on xgf on multiple occasions straining her finances younger sibling has a serious mental illness that has caused said sibling to get into serious trouble with the law this last point really freaked me out given the hereditary nature of certain mental illnesses not concerned about xgf per se but about any kids we might have had internal off-putting attitude towards drinking shots and straight liquor drinking to get drunk and aggressively so understandable during one's college years but a big turn-off once one's outgrown that scene excessive makuu this really bothered me my ex GF was hot easily the most attractive girl I've ever dated and she turned a lot of heads whenever she was in public whether she wore a simple sweater and jeans or a tight dress on a night out but for some reason she still insisted on wearing too much blush too much eyeliner and too much everything else she didn't need it but she nevertheless spent an hour or so every morning to put it on after a time I started to get embarrassed by how much Micucci wore compared to other women I knew or saw in public plenty of other girls looked pretty or beautiful with modest amounts of Matthew Bourne and my ex GF started to look gaudy by comparison third we weren't on the same wavelength intellectually don't get me wrong my ex GF was well educated and very intelligent but we didn't really connect or relate in the ways that mattered for instance we never had a meaningful conversation about topics that mattered to me for instance Foreign Affairs technology pop culture literature etc when we did talk about those things it was mostly me spouting off what I thought about those subjects with her occasionally asking a question or commenting about how she thought it was great I felt so strongly about those topics but with nothing to contribute on her own though my relationship with the xg8 lasted for a while this lack of intellectual connection didn't get to me until the end probably because as I mentioned earlier my ex gf was super hot also she was amazing in bed so that helped and I guess if I'm really being honest her sexuality ironically turned me off a little bit I have no problem admitting I'm a little Pradesh compared to your average late twenties American male but I still have a healthy appreciation for sex that said the xgf just wanted to have sex all of the time to the point where I thought it was masking other deficiencies in the relationship thinking long-term I told myself that I needed to really focus on non-physical aspects of the relationship since the physical stuff is somewhat fleeting not that that stuff doesn't matter in the long term either but sex isn't the foundation of a healthy relationship or marriage it's a natural outgrowth of a healthy relationship or marriage throw away haven't broken up yet but definitely going to soon here are some of the reasons I'll never be able to tell her no humility she thinks she is a very smart lady she's not she knows it I know it but if she goofs up somewhere she gets really mad look not everyone is a genius we all make mistakes get over yourself not interested in anything that does not interest her you may think well duh but this applies to everything we've been together over five years but she doesn't know what I do at work because she never listens when I tell her about my work I've had to give up geography music history films and a bunch of other fun hobbies because she isn't interested at all in them that she loves cooking and I've taken that up to share in her interest I've tried no double standard every single day she makes me give her massages foot traps back scratches you name it I averaged 15 minutes a day doing this but whenever I go on for some TLC I get 10 seconds of head rubbing then she's done doesn't do feminine things for me look I'm all for equality but sometimes you just want to revert back to caveman roots she never does my laundry hardly ever cooks doesn't buy sexy elem Cherie doesn't do BJ's on the flip side I constantly fold her laundry buy groceries clean our place weekly I wear suits all week and play softball and football on weekends wearing uniforms for that as much as women love it when men man up and do manly things we enjoy women feminine it up from time to time is too into her family and not enough into mine I have to drag her to see my folks but she gets upset when I don't want to join her folks for dinner I see her family her parents are divorced one to two times per week I see mine once per week or two weeks and she almost never joins me they see her on holidays and birthdays only she is pushing her religion on me neither of us is religious at all she never ever ever ever goes to Sheol ever she eats pork and shellfish I never read the Bible I used to go to church on my own but no longer do and I sin alone at night daily hint she wants to incorporate several religious trays into our future family including the snip-snip but I'm firmly against this mainly because I'm not snipped I don't want any religion in our household it's funny how non-religious people pick and choose which religious rules they want to follow daily emotions I get upset once every two months I've been insecure about my job for six months and as the main bread earner this should be a huge source of stress but I deal with it try my best and leave my emotions in the car when I go home but she brings us every single day and we'll get upset two times per day for people like that are easygoing and often happy I advise you to stay away from emotional people it will not end well can't get hard anymore with her sometimes I go to the washroom watch porn for a few minutes and do the gentle jerk and then I can maybe do it all of the above-mentioned issues have been driving me away for years and my body can't do it anymore I am sure some of you are thinking well [ __ ] have get off the pot yeah but baby it's not that simple there is a ton of care and love in this relationship that I have a tough time deciding if the above problems outweigh the many benefits of our relationship also I'm a massive [ __ ] who can't just stand up and in things that problem is alone me I read a comment about someone who changed their persona to becoming a huge prick to end things not a terrible idea physical attraction I don't feel good saying this at all to be honest I had always had an opinion of myself as being above that but it turns out I'm just not I had been hanging out with this girl for three months and everything was fantastic as friends we were exploring all these means things got out of our comfort zones together and all I hang out started feeling like dates anyway she dug me as more than a friend after a while she is one of the nicest and cool people I've ever met and while she had her good angles there would be times where I would look at her and I would just genuinely not be attracted maybe even a little repulsed I decided to take the plunge and to see this as an opportunity to overcome my superficiality I mean in the couple months I had been with her she was transforming mentally and physically she lost a ton of weight was becoming more outgoing more willing to try new things and sort of open herself up to the world it would be nothing but superficial for me not to date this great girl honesty though I didn't feel good about showing her affection in public which she would knew and felt act about and like I said the general lack of attraction towards her was off-putting in a queasy way I can't describe it killed me it related I was way more repelled by my own reactions than to her looks no amount of self brainwashing could quell my natural reaction eventually I had to break it off with her I know there's the whole personality over looks cliche and you know what deep down inside I think it's true I have an intellectual and conceptual understanding that everyone's looks fade with time and that in the end all you're left with his personality and you better [ __ ] like a person if you're gonna be with them for a long time but despite all this perhaps because of my immaturity I can't get over looks to a certain extent I don't think I have a will and for many people I know this doesn't go away attraction is natural perhaps artificially fabricated and reinforced by media but in large part one don't feel like I can choose who I'm attracted to any more than I can choose what foods I like if there's anything anyone reading this should take away you shouldn't have to convince yourself that someone is worth dating or being with I realized that I was trying really hard to justify to myself why she was worth dating because she really did have incredible inner beauty when I should have just gone with my gut feeling to begin with because trust me that gut feeling will never go away and it will eat away at you ultimately no woman wants to be with someone they don't find attractive and in the end staying with a woman like that will make her feel used and create a relationship void of meaning unless the FWB thing was agreed upon to begin with she was also the ex of a friend I had known for six years so that didn't help either I remember talking to my dad about the dating a friend's ex thing my dad is super old-school like grew up dirt poor as a farmer doesn't even know how to use a computer had that old-school tried-and-true was some if you know what I mean like all dads seem to have and he told me to never date a friend's ex I've heard this [ __ ] before but hearing it from my dad really resonated with me of course I was stupid and still didn't listen luckily I'm still friends with this friend largely b/c he doesn't know we fooled around I think the dad was right as always second lesson girls come and go and although friends do to your friends will be there even when the girls aren't don't put your friends on the back burner and treat them like a [ __ ] option until they become a priority again when the girl leaves the good friends are worth it forgot to add I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't physically attracted to her I don't think a woman should ever be told she's not beautiful just on principle especially a woman who's gone through so much change and grown so much in the short time I knew her that would just cause unnecessary damage in my eyes thank you so much for watching the whole video please leave a like and subscribe

Channel: Top Reddit

Views: 48,108

Rating: 4.8809834 out of 5

Keywords: high school, reddit stories, reddit

Id: fApUqxRncgQ

Length: 31min 54sec (1914 seconds)

Published: Tue Nov 26 2019